Thankyou megan39 for your review! I hope to get lots more reviews from people that are as nice as you are!
Disclaimer. Seeing as I am not as rich as Stephanie Meyer, it is obvious that I do not own Twilight. Plus, if I was her, Bella would have stayed with Jacob!
This is my longest chapter yet!
You know the drill, read and review!
It was the Friday night after the day at the hospital. It was nightfall and Alice was not feeling well. It was December, and the snow was blowing wildly around the small cottage. Cold season was upon them, and Alice seemed to have been its first victim. Carlile had given her some medicine and sent her to bed early. Bella sat with her until she was asleep, and after that went out to sit in the main room as she always did. She wrapped a blanket she and Esme had made together around herself and curled up in her chair. She did not pick up a book as she normally would have, instead choosing to just relax and listen to the wind blowing outside. She dozed off for a while.
Bella awoke to a knocking. It took her a moment to orient herself and realize she was at home. She smelled the potpourri that Esme kept in the warming dish on the stove, and the knocking continued. Bella walked to the door, the blanket still around her.
"Bella?" she heard from the other side.
Bella gasped. She reconized the voice.
"Jacob?"
"Bella! Open the door! Please Bella I can explain-"
Bella fumbled with the doorknob and had it open in seconds. As soon as it was open there was a body through it and arms wrapped around her, lifting her off the ground and squeezing her tightly. Jacob used his foot to shut the door and backed up against it, Bella in his arms.
"Bella, Gods. I missed you."
"Jacob, your freezing! Don't you realize there's a snowstorm? All the streets have been shut down, how did you get here?"
"That's not important. I'm just so sorry Bella. I wanted to write or call you but I couldn't. And I can't give you an explanation why. I want to so badly, but I cant do that to you yet."
"Jacob what are you talking about? You don't owe me any explanation. You don't have any obligation to me."
Jacob laughed aloud, humorless. He squeezed her tighter and buried his head in her shoulder. "Oh Bella, how wrong you are. But that's not the only reason I'm here. You. Your sick. You were at the hospital. My brother saw you there, talking to a bunch of doctors."
"Huh? Your brother? Oh, and he saw me with my physicians. I go for my eyes Jacob. I stopped seeing shadows recently, and they were doing tests to see why. I'm not sick, unless you count being Blind."
Jacob laughed and spun Bella around. "Oh, Bella you have no idea how glad I am to hear your not sick. I came back as fast as I could."
"Came back from where? Oh, and Jacob do you think you could put me down?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah, sorry." Jacob placed her back on the floor and Bella moved her hands until she found coffee table. He pointed toward the couch.
"Sit. The fire should last awhile longer. I'll put some tea on to boil. Goodness, you've got to be freezing. Did you walk here?"
"Not exactly. And you don't need to fix me anything Bella, I didn't plan on staying long. I know its late. I just had to make sure you were okay. And to say I'm sorry. I know you worried."
"Not staying long? Jacob there's a snowstorm! All the roads are closed and walking in this weather would kill you. You'll be staying the night whether you like it or not. "
"Bella, no. I know you don't know me that well and I wouldn't ask that of you. I can make it home fine, trust me."
"Too bad. Because you're not going to get the chance. You can sleep on the couch and maybe by tomorrow afternoon the roads will be clear. The snow is supposed to last a few days but it's not supposed to be as heavy. Turn on that lamp next to the couch."
"Wha? How can you know?"
"Shadows, Jacob. Sometimes."
Bella made her way into the kitchen and pot the kettle on to heat water for tea. She gripped the counter, processing that there was a man staying in her home for the night, that Jacob was back. That Jacob had held her in his arms, and he was so warm, and Bella had no reason at all to want his arms around her again, but she did anyway, and-
"Bella?" Jacobs voice was right behind her and Bella flew around, hand flying up to her chest in an attempt to stop her racing heart.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."
Bella smiled. "It's fine. I've just never had a visitor before, besides Rose and she's only been here a few times. And never a boy."
"Well, I promise not to take advantage of you or anything." Jacob said awkwardly, his voice uncertain.
Bella laughed aloud, "No, I cant say that's what I was worried about. You're the only guy ive ever trusted Jacob, I don't expect you to rape me while I sleep. Besides, ive got a decent right hook, even for a blind person. And my girl scream is loud enough to be heard in town."
"hahaha, I can't say I doubt that Bella. But thanks anyway."
The whistle from the kettle started to blow softly and Bella grabbed the handle and took it off the heat before it woke Alice. Her hands were shaking slightly from the cold and the fear of uncharted territory. Warm hands enveloped hers and Bella gasped.
"Here, I can get it. You've done plenty. And I'm not insinuating that you're incapable because your blind, I just don't want you to burn yourself."
Bella let Jacob take the kettle and moved out of his way. "I wasn't offended. And thankyou."
Jacob handed Bella a tea cup and she led the way back to the living room. Bella curled in her chair again and Jacob sat on the couch, the only sound the fire crackling and the cold wind blowing against the cottage.
"Bella, I would like to explain some things to you. This is not at all how I planned on doing it, but I don't have time and this is the best I've got. "
"Does it have anything to do with why you've been gone for so long?"
Jacob sighed and Bella imagined his shoulders lowered. "Yeah, it has everything to do with it."
"Well then, I'm all ears." Bella sat back in her chair and swung her legs over the side, sipping her tea.
"Okay, your going to think I'm crazy, but you have to hear me out. Like I said, this isn't how I wanted this to go down, but since were stuck here I guess now is better than never. Okay. So do you remember those tribal stories I used to tell you while we walked? The ones about the wolves and the Cold Ones?"
"Yes. I love your stories. The way you tell them, you make the story come to life."
Jacob laughed with no humor. "That's the thing Bella. There's a reason I can tell those stories so well. I live them." He took a deep breath before jumping right in.
"I've been hearing the stories of our people since I was born. I can remember listening to the Elders tell of the powerful Shifters and their enemies, the Cold Ones. In this day white men call them Vampires, or blood drinkers. I always thought the stories were just that, stories, until I turned thirteen. On my thirteenth birthday I got sick, really sick. My mother was scared but my father, he knew what was going on. My mother didn't believe him, because no one under the age of 17 had ever changed. She called Carlile, and he came out to the Rez. My temperature was 107. He was shocked, and told my mother that I needed a hospital and an IV. My father forbid it. He knew his son was not sick, that he was just becoming a man. So Carlile consented and treated me at home, managing to keep my temperature down so I wouldn't have any brain damage, and he used syringes to pump fluids. The sickness lasted two weeks and my father began to worry that he was wrong. No transformation had ever lasted that long."
"It happened on a Thursday, almost three weeks after my birthday. Carlile had already made his rounds to see me and my father was sitting with me. I got hot. Like, burning from the inside out hot. I felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin and my father told me that this was it, this was the time. One of the older men from the tribe came in and carried me outside and then he and my father both backed away, watching. It hurt Bella. I screamed, but the screaming didn't help. And then, my screams weren't screams anymore. They were howls."
Jacob took a deep breath and looked at Bella, still surprised for the thousandth time that her beautiful green eyes were unseeing but that they could understand so much. Her face looked thoughtful, like she was processing what he was telling her. "Do you need me to take a break?"
"No, you may continue." Bella's voice matched her face, thoughtful.
"It took me a while to change back. I was scared. My father and the man from the tribe tried to talk to me but I dint want to listen because they did not understand. I was a monster. I would be killed. I was part of the story. Once I changed back I was naked and I could feel and sense everything. The grass was damp under me and the leaves were rustling in the wind in the trees above. Somewhere in the distance a mother was chastising her young ones for running through the house. There was a bird flying overhead. My father's wheelchair made a slight noise as it pushed its wheels in the dirt.
'Come on, boy, get up' he told me. He took me inside and waited while I got dressed. He sat me down and told me that all the stories I had heard as a child were real. That I was one of the Shifters, but that I was special. I was meant to be something extraordinary. No transformation in history had ever taken three weeks. I was going to be the leader of a great and powerful tribe, and I would lead them as the most powerful wolf the tribe had ever seen.
I didn't even have the confidence to fight being the wolf, because it's who I was, who I have been from that day. At the time I changed I was the only one but soon the others started to join me, and now there are seven of us, and still growing. We don't hurt people, honestly Bella, I've never hurt anyone. We shift only when we have to, and when we do we stay in the woods or in the village, we don't go into Forks or any town. I don't hurt people. I won't hurt you."
Jacob waited what felt like forever for some response from Bella but there was none. Finally the silence got to him.
"Bella?"
"Does it still hurt?"
"Shifting? No, it was just the first time. It's as natural as breathing now. Is that really what yor worried about? If it hurts me? Not if im about to shift and kill you and no one would ever know?"
"If you wanted to hurt or kill me you've had tons of chances before this. You're smart; you would have done it then."
Jacob looked at her incredulously.
"So, why are you telling me this? I'm sure this isn't something just any random white girl is allowed to know."
Jacob took in the deepest breath yet. "Well, that's kind-of the simplest and most complex answer all at the same time. You see Bella, every Alpha, which is what I am, has a mate. Their mate is chosen by the Gods to be the woman who fits both man and beast as his other half, his one and only. She is why he lives, she is why he fights for a better life for their children. She is the mother of their tribe, of the future of their tribe. And, it seems that the Gods seem to have chosen you to be my mate Bella."
Jacob watched her as he said the last part, waiting for a reaction, of what he didn't know. Instead, he got nothing again. He was about to speak up when Bella broke the silence.
"I'm not ready to have children. I'm only 17. I'm not even sure I could raise a baby on my own."
"You wouldn't be alone Bella, you'll always have me. But I don't expect you to have children now, or ever if you don't want them. I know your only 17, I'm only 22. I'm not ready to lead a tribe, or be in charge of anyone's life. But I can't control it. And I can't control how I feel about you. I knew from the day I was walking by the bookstore and knew I had to go inside, but I fought it. I didn't want to be told who to love, I wanted to choose on my own. But then I came back to the bookstore the next day, and the day after that, and the one after that, and I got to know you. And I fell in love with you on my own. Looks like the Gods can choose pretty well after all. But Bella, if you want time, if you don't want to settle for one guy at such a young age then I understand. I'm not saying I want to see guys with their hands all over you, but if that's what you want then that's what you'll get. We'll fight this, if that's what you want. I promise I won't force you. "
"Okay, give me a moment to process."
"Jeez Bella, take all the time you need. I'm going to put another log on the fire, its cooling down."
Bella's head was spinning. Too much information, her mind was screaming at her. Werewolves. Real. Vampires. Real. Her, the mate chosen by fate to have an amazing man be with her forever. Her, the blind freak with a hard past who couldn't live through thunderstorms without self-medicating.
"I'm blind." Bella suddenly spoke.
Jacob turned away from the fire, giving her a funny look. "Yeah Bella, I know that."
"Jacob, I can't be your mate. God isn't mean. He wouldn't have given such a powerful man a blind woman to be his mate."
"Bella," Jacob said softly. He walked to her chair and squatted down in front of her. He took one of her hands and put it to his cheek. "Bella, I don't care if your blind. Neither will anyone else. You're such a sweet and generous and loving person. Being blind doesn't change any of that. You're my mate Bella. Blind or not."
Bella wanted to cry but she was still trying to process everything.
"Oh Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't want to upset you but I had to tell you. Not being around you…it hurts me. Being away for those months, Bella I thought I might die. When I thought you were hurt….words cannot describe. "
"Where were you? When you've been gone, where were you?"
"Hunting. We caught the sent of vampires east of here a while ago and have been tracking them ever since. Canada, New York, Everywhere. We finally caught up to them in Maine and took care of it. After that I came home as fast as I could. I wanted to come home sooner Bella, and I got your text and it tore me apart inside. I couldn't text you back because we were on the move so much. I got word to one of the guys on the Rez and he was who came to talk to you. I knew it was painful for the female to be away from her male as well, and I could feel your worry."
"I wasn't really in pain though. I mean I worried constantly about where you were and if you were coming back, and I worried that maybe you had just forgotten me. But there was never any physical pain like you describe. "
Bella could sense Jacob's non-comfortableness as he spoke. "That's because we haven't mated yet. After the exchange of uh…..ya know, the mate's connection grows even stronger. They can feel each other's emotions, know when one another are in trouble or need."
"Oh, uhm okay."
Bella had realized while Jacob was talking that he still had her hand in his against his cheek, and the stubble from where he hadn't shaved was prickly against her skin.
Bella suddenly realized what she wanted to do.
"Uh, Jacob? Can I ask something of you?"
Jacob seemed relieved that there was something Bella needed that he could do. "Anything Bella."
"Could I uhm, look at you?"
"Bella, I don't understand"
Bella hated being blind sometimes. "I trace the planes of you face with my fingers and recognize myself with you. I can form a picture in my mind and associate that with your voice, the pattern of your feet."
"Bella, you didn't even have to ask. You're my mate. I crave your touch, always. Do whatever you want to. "
Jacob sat down Indian style in front of the chair and Bella put her feet on the floor and scooted forward to the edge of the chair. She moved her hands to his cheeks and chin, working up his face. She felt the stubble on his cheek and thought that he probably looked sexy as hell with that stubble. His cheekbones were subtle but there and there was muscle and power even in his face. His nose was sharper than hers and his eyes were placed perfectly in the center. He had think eyelashes. His forehead was average and it led to a mange of thick silky smooth hair that she knew from Rosalie's description was coal black. She ran her fingers through is hair, already addicted to its texture. Jacob let out a sound that sounded like a hum and Bella realized with a startle that it was a purr. He was a cat. Cat's purr.
Bella ran her fingers through his hair and traced his face again and again, familiarizing herself with the planes of his face.
"Bella," Jacob startled. "I havnt even finished yet. Oh goodness. Come with me, come on take my hand."
Jacob stood up and pulled Bella up with him. He led her to the door and bent down to slip on her snow boots. Bella blushed when she had to hold onto his shoulders to keep from falling over. He took his coat off the hook and wrapped her up in it.
"Wait, Jacob. Alice is asleep."
"Were just stepping outside Bella, Alice will be fine. "
Jacob led Bella outside past her porch and into a patch of not deep snow. "Wait here. I'll only be a second, but there's something I have to show you. "
Bella heard fabric moving and then a dead silence for a few moments. Then she heard the movement of something heavy and let out a breath in a silent shriek when something big and fuzzy rubbed against her.
"Jacob?"
The animal hummed. Bella ran her fingers through the coarse fur, so similar to his normal hair.
"Jesus Jacob you could have warned me. And could this not have waited until morning? I don't have a pelt of fur like you do ya know."
The wolf laughed at her in its barking manor and rubber against her more forcefully. Bella rubbed its head, scratching behind his ears. She stood there for countless moments and did not otice the cold, but she must have let out a shiver because Jacob licked her hand telling her to stop and he was gone. His voice was heard moments later as warm arms wrapped around her waist and led her in the direction on the house.
"You should have said you were cold Bells. I can't be the judge of that, like you said. I have fur." He laughed and Bella smiled along with him. Jacob bent down again once inside to help her slip off her shoes and she hung up the borrowed jacket.
"I'm going to go check on Alice."
Jacob mumbled something about reheating their tea and went into the kitchen.
Alice was still snoring softly. Bella carefully made her way to the bed and sat down. She felt her forehead with the back of her hand and was relieved her fever had gone down. She tucked the blankets around her and smoothed her hair again before leaving and cracking the door behind her.
Jacob was not in the living room when Bella returned and she sat in her chair, waiting. She used her hyperactive senses to hear movement, but could not.
"Jacob?" she called softly
There was no reply and Bella became confused. She knew he was just a figment of her imagination! She was probably asleep in her chair right now and just dreaming and-
Warm hands came over her small ones.
Bella turned her head up. Jacob's body was tense. He sat down in front of her on the floor.
"Jacob? What's wrong?"
Jacob pulled her hands into his, rubbing her cold ones between his massive warm ones.
"I smell something. Something outside, that shouldn't be there. Something unnatural."
"Uh, okay. Should I be worried?"
Jacob scoffed, sounding offended. "Gods no. I'm here Bella, I'm not going to let anything come near you or your family. And I'm fighting the urge right now to go out there and kill whatever it is for coming so close to your home."
"Stay here with me. It's too dark outside to see anything that's out there. And besides, it's been there for months. If whatever it is wanted to hurt me or my family they would have already."
"What do you mean it's been there for months?" Jacob's voice was low and angry.
"The bad presence. I can sense it. It showed up shortly after you left. There's usually a good presence also, but they're on opposite sides of the forest."
"Bella, I'm sorry to do this, but how do you know it's there?"
"You mean because I'm blind? Since my sight does not work all my other senses are on overdrive all the time. I can hear things normal people could not hear, smell the cologne of people on the street, and sense the presence of people when they're close This time the presence was bad, and then there was the good. Most people have some of each, but this one is all bad."
Jacobs hands left hers and she thought they went to scratch through his hair.
"Jesus Bella. All this time….I left you in danger. Bella I swear to you that if I had known that you were in trouble I wouldn't have left. Gods, Bella."
"You didn't know. And like I said, it speared after you left, so there was no way you could have known. And if it wanted to hurt me, it's had multiple chances"
"Still Bella. You're my mate, and I've got to be more careful. I wasn't expecting to find you so soon, I'm not prepared. But I will be Bella. I'm the Alpha. My mate will not be put in danger. I just need some time to learn."
"Well then. We can learn together. I don't know how to be the mate of an Alpha…..Shifter either. "
"Bella! Bella does that mean you'll accept me? Do you accept me? You have a choice you know. If you don't accept me there's nothing I can do about it. I will always protect you Bella, and I can never be with another woman besides you. So if you ever change your mind, I'll be there for you."
Bella laughed softly at the changes from excitement to disappointment and back. "Jacob, I'm sorry you got stuck with an under ordinary girl who can't even see you. But there's never been another guy who was as nice to me as you are. If you'll have me, I'll accept you. But you need to know that I need some adjustment time. The whole wolf thing, and being someone's mate, It's going to take a little getting used to. And I have Alice. Were a package deal. She's my baby sister, she's my responsibility. She goes where I go."
"Bella, you're not ordinary. You're extraordinary. I realize that you can't see yourself, but I can. The Gods chose the most beautiful girl for me. I don't care that you're blind Bella. I don't know how many times you need to hear that, but your sight does not concern me. You make up for your sight in everything else that you do. And I know Alice is included. If you're not opposed, she will have to know about the wolf thing though. It will just make things easier. For her and us."
"Bella, you're my mate. I know this is a lot of information in one night. If you need time, you can have time."
"Jacob? I accept you."
Bella had no warning and suddenly she was pulled from her chair and into a strong set of warm arms. Fingers threaded through her hair and she was held tightly against the warmest body she had ever felt. Bella had never been held before. She wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed back.
"Bella, Bella, my Bella," was whispered over and over in her ear.
They sat like that for a time that seemed endless but Bella knew it wasn't. Eventually reality would set in, but she realized that maybe, just maybe, this was her reality now. She was the….er…..mate of a Shifter. And she wasn't crazy. She really had felt the fur of the wolf, of Jacob's wolf.
She realized she still had questions, tons of them, but she didn't know where to start.
"Jacob? That boy you sent to talk to me, you said he was your brother. How many siblings do you have?"
Jacob laughed and lifted his head from Bella's shoulder, smoothing her hair
"Pack brother. I have six pack brothers. And there's a new one every couple months sometimes. Were more than a family, were a pack. And all out mates are included in that pack. Besides the pack, I have my father and two older sisters. My mother died when I was 15. Breast cancer."
"Oh, Jacob I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to dredge up bad memories."
"They're not bad. It's good to remember her. She was a wonderful woman. A wonderful mother."
"She had to be to raise such a wonderful son."
Jacob laughed at that. "Are you flirting with me Miss Swan?"
Bella blushed. "Well, I think I'm allowed."
"That you are Miss, that you are." Jacob laughed and Bella giggled. They talked about mundane things until the fire almost went out and Jacob got up to put on another log. Bella liked to listen to Jacob talk and leaned against the couch. His voice was melodic and rhythmic and the fire was so warm…
The next thing she knew she was being lifted by strong arms. Bella's hands fluttered against a chest and she knew it was Jacob holding her. She wasn't oriented enough to know where he was taking her and that usually terrified her, a natural blind instinct. But it was Jacob and she trusted him. He lowered her and she felt the texture of the quilt that covered her bed. She was in her room.
"Jacob?"
"Shuuushh. Go back to sleep. I didn't realize how late, or early I guess, it is. You need to sleep." Jacob smoothed her hair.
"But I don't want to sleep. You might just be a dream. You'll disappear."
"Bella," Jacob laughed low and softly. "I'll still be here when you wake up. I'll prove to you that I'm not just a dream. I'll sleep on the couch. Just wake me whenever you get up, okay? Goodnight Bella."
Jacob gently pressed his lips to her forehead and got off the bed. Bella woke up a little more when he moved and she reached her hands out blindly, finding his arms and gripping them.
"No. Stay here. You can sleep in here."
"Bella…."
"I know you wont take advantage of me Jake, and you won't try anything. I don't want you to leave. You said it was painful to be without my touch for periods of time, right? I feel the same way. I don't want you to leave. Please." Bella's voice was desperate.
"Uh Gods Bella I could never deny you anything. Okay, I'll stay with you here. And I promise not to try anything. And Bella, if you ever are in pain from lack of touch, you don't have to ask. I'll always welcome your touch Bella, always."
"Same. I mean if you ever need to touch me you, uh, you can."
Bella yawned and Jacob noticed. "Okay Bella I'll stay with you, just get some sleep. Do you need to change clothes or anything?"
Bella nodded, scooting her feet over the bed. "I usually sleep in tights and a sweat shirt. I like being warm. And I need to brush my teeth. You can go ahead and get comfortable, I'll be right back."
Bella stifled another yawn as she made her way to the bathroom. She didn't shut the door because she never thought about it, and besides, it was pitch dark in her bedroom. Jacob hadn't turned on any lights.
Bella changed, brushed her teeth and used the restroom. She felt her way back to the bed and climbed under the covers. Jacob held his breath as she curled up and he stayed on his side. Bella sighed and scooted herself to him since it was obvious he wasn't moving to her. As soon as her hand reached out and touched him, something in him was snapped and he moved to her quickly across the bed. He pulled her into his arms and curled his body around hers. Arms wrapped around her and chin resting on top of her head, he was content for the first time in ages. His mate was safe. His mate was in his arms, and she wanted to be there.
Bella's heart fluttered. Jacob was shirtless, his bare chest rock hard with pure muscle. Bella felt even more unflattering while she traced the planes of his perfect body. She kept her hands on his shoulders and chest, not wanting to give him any ideas that she couldn't follow through with.
A hum came from Jacob's chest and she realized again that it was a purr. Bella realized how tired she was. She had never been held while she slept, and she realized that she liked it. She liked hearing someone else breathing, feeling the rise and fall of his chest. She liked Jacob. And listening to his purr, she fell asleep.