"Happiness, it's like the old man told me

Look for it and you'll never find it all

But let it go, live your life and leave it

Then one day you'll wake up and she'll be home"

~The Fray

Evie stared back at Spencer with guilty eyes. She bit her lip nervously and rocked back and forth on her toes, cringing when it seemed she realized her ankle still hurt.

"Yeah..." she whispered hesitantly. Spence couldn't form coherent words or even thoughts in his mind. He just wasn't believing it. He wanted to, he just couldn't bring himself to process that his dead girl friend was standing right in front of him. The tightening in his stomach clenched to a strange anxious feeling that spread through out him. He didn't know whether it was because he was just taken so off guard or because he was nervous about this not being real, but he could even feel himself shaking.

He wished he could move. He wished he could speak. He wish he could do something, anything but just stand there.

Luckily Evie was the first to move forward. Evie... he kept saying in his head. Evie, Evie, Evie... He never thought he'd be able to think that same word while looking at her ever again. Was this even happening?

"Spence?" she asked worriedly, a look of concern on her face. Spencer watched as she reached him, looking like she was hesitant to get too close. Her eyes never left his own as she reached up with her unharmed arm and gently touched her finger tips to the side of his face. Reid let his eyes travel all over the features of her face as she gently pressed her hand to the side of his head. He couldn't stop staring, just trying so hard to comprehend how this was possible. His eyes eventually wondered back up to her own, seeing how concerned they looked as she watched him and ran her thumb gently along his cheekbone.

All at once almost as if Spencer wasn't controlling his own body, he rushed forward and pressed himself against Evie's body, being careful for her injured arm. His arms wrapped themselves around her noticeably thinner waist, but he assumed he felt even bonier than usual as well. The familiar warmth that radiated off of her body made Spencer shudder with a sense of pure relief and recognition that he never thought he'd feel again.

The way she ever so delicately laid her arm across his back and laced her fingers through his hair brought back a sense of nostalgia that clenched his heart into knots. He could hear her soft breaths in his ear and feel the brush of his hair across his face as his face. It couldn't be real, it just couldn't.

"Baby, you're scaring me a bit." Evie said, with a slight joking tone to her voice but predominantly concerned. He realized he had just frozen again in her arms.

"I'm- I-" he tried to say... something. He didn't really know what he was trying to stay. He could only take a shuddering breath and lift Evie into his arms, hearing the same squealing sound she always made when he swept her off her feet. It was a little more difficult since he had lost so much weight and was constantly dizzy from hunger and nausea lately, but she had lost weight too. He was still able to hold her high above the ground while she wrapped her legs around his waist to keep himself supported. Spencer felt Evie's arms wrap around his neck and her face bury itself in the crook of his neck. Reid closed his eyes and and took a deep breath, exhaling a slow and relieved breath into the fabric of her shirt.

Finally he was flooded with that rush of happiness that he had forgotten he was able to feel. A giant weight was lifted from his shoulders and his heart clenched with a different kind of feeling; not the one that sent knives through his conscience and made him feel like he was going to vomit, but the kind that sent waves of contentment, relief and love for Evie swelling in his chest all at once.

They kept pulling each other closer; she would tighten her legs around his waist or nuzzle her face into his neck and he would pull her further into his body by snaking his arms further around her as much as he comfortably could. He felt her body slightly shaking against his own and felt something warm on his neck. She was crying. Not full out sobbing or anything... just barely. It was enough to nearly kill him though. The gravity of the situation just hit him harder and harder with each second. Spencer didn't know how this happened but right then it didn't really matter. His everything was right there in his arms.

"I'm so sorry." he managed to choke out. Evie pulled back and looked at him with worry etched deep in the gray of her eyes. He carefully set her down, not letting his eyes leave hers for one moment.

"Why-"

"I- I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry." Spencer stuttered, unable to say anything else. She looked at him with a confused glance mixed with slight fear. His mind was racing with the memories of before she was gone. What he did to her, how he isolated her, told her that he'd leave her. Watching her be so happy to see him again somehow made him feel so much worse for being the jerk he was before they were separated. How on Earth did she not hate him?

"Everything I said to you and what I did... I didn't mean a word of it, I-"

"No, Spencer... My God..." Evie said soothingly, putting her unharmed hand on the side of his face.

"I know that. Let's just forget about that for now. I just want to enjoy being here."

And with that, Evie wrapped her good arm around his back and gingerly did the same with the other the best she could. Spencer gently held her as well, lying his chin on her shoulder and emanating a relieved sigh.

"How are you here?"

"It's a long story."

"Aunt Evie!" screamed a voice from behind them. The front door was open with Henry standing in the threshold, and Spencer had to remind himself that he was at JJ's house. Everything else around him had taken a backseat to his main attention on Evie. Just thinking about her in present tense made his chest swell.

"Hey buddy!" she smiled, bending down to meet Henry for a hug. He beamed from ear to ear, his eyes sparkling with that adorable childish wonder that Spencer and Evie loved.

"I missed you." he told her as if she was only returning from a long vacation.

"I missed you too bud."

By that time, JJ and Will were congregated in the doorway, JJ smiling with tears brimming her eyes and Will just staring at Evie with utter confusion and amazement. Once Evie stood to full height again, she turned to Will and smiled sweetly, meeting him for a hug as well.

"Man, is it good to see you." he muttered into her shoulder. The whole scene on the front porch reminded Spencer of one of those happy endings in every single Hallmark Movie ever, and under any other circumstance that'd amuse him. Now however, he just wished he could move or talk or react. He was just so stunned that all he could do was take in the sight of Evie, like his eyes couldn't get enough.

Eventually after a while of hugging, tears, and reunion, JJ brought everyone inside for dinner. It was strange: not a bad strange, but a good one. Just the thought of everyone thinking Evie was dead and then sitting down like a family for a normal dinner seemed so out of place. It wasn't that Spence wasn't completely ecstatic... he didn't think he'd ever been so happy in his life. It was just something that was going to take a while to process.

"Does anyone else know?" Will asked as everyone ate dinner.

"As long as everyone else thought I was gone, then no, I guess not." Evie said, finishing her third helping of the parmesan chicken JJ had made. She had eaten more than Spencer had ever seen her eat in one sitting. With the story she told them after they'd gotten inside however, he didn't blame her. Evie waking up to some Indian keeping her alive in a secret facility kept by the gang that the whole FBI was looking for was something Spencer wouldn't believe if someone else had told him or if he wasn't holding Evie's hand right then and there.

He supposed it would be easier for her to eat with two hands, but he had refused to lose physical contact with her ever since she appeared. Besides, she didn't have much use for her injured one anyway.

"And this doctor... He- Heni?" JJ said, trying to remember the man who Evie had told them so much about.

"Hani." she said, her voice going quieter with every mention of him. Spencer may have been out of his element at the moment, but his profiling skills still went into red alert when she talked about Hani. There was obviously something she wasn't telling them about.

"Yeah, how did he save you from that bullet wound? I mean... You-" JJ stopped mid-sentence and glanced over at Henry who was happily smiling down at his food, completely oblivious to their conversation. "You were dead." JJ finished in a whisper. "We all saw it."

"He never said." Evie stated. The room was left in a heavy silence after that, everyone either basking in the appreciation of having Evie there or trying to think of how on Earth this doctor was that good. Nevertheless, it didn't take long for her to be flooded with more questions.

Spencer had plenty, but he didn't say anything. He'd been quiet the entire dinner, just holding her hand under the table and rubbing small circles on the back of her hand. He'd have the will to ask her billions of questions later. Right now he just wanted to enjoy having her within a foot from him.

"Are you okay?" she eventually whispered to him, giving his hand a light squeeze. Spencer looked up at her and nodded, very quickly kissing her shoulder. She chuckled and glanced down at his food that had barely been touched. Evie's face changed from happy to worried as she returned her gaze to Spence who had already looked away. He knew JJ had to have told her about how he had gone spiraling downward after she had disappeared. He was overjoyed, but there were scars there that he didn't see going away soon or at all for that matter. He was just used to not being hungry. His stomach flipped at the idea of eating food automatically now, even if he didn't want it to.

Reid sighed and picked up a fork with his free hand to make Evie happy. She watched him eat a tiny bit of mashed potatoes and set his fork back down. He could feel her disapproving eyes on him before he even looked up to meet her gaze.

"You're not leaving this table until at least three quarters of that is gone." she told him, gesturing towards his plate. Spencer couldn't help but smile at her maternal way of taking care of him. He looked at all of the food staring up at him on his plate and bit his lip. He hadn't eaten that much food in one sitting since Evie had been gone.

"I'm going to end up throwing up on you."

"You'll be fine." she said, giving his hand another squeeze. Spencer raised his eyebrows and began to eat.

Evie laughed as Spencer nuzzled his face into her neck, feeling the weight of him laying on one side of her body as she lied in JJ's spare bed where Spence had been sleeping for the past couple of weeks. The LaMontagnes had stayed up with Evs and Reid until 1am, just catching up and setting everyone's story straight on what actually happened. They filled Evie in with the investigation on the gang and made plans for when to tell the others about her return. Everyone agreed that sooner was better than later, so tomorrow her and Spencer would go to the BAU to give everyone a much needed surprise.

After JJ and Will had retired for the night, Spencer picked up Evie and carried her to the spare room that JJ had offered to them for as many nights as they needed. As long as they had time to move Spencer back into their apartment tomorrow, this would be the last night they spent away from home.

For the past hour Spencer had been cuddling Evie nearly to death, never lifting his tight grip on her waist but also being cautious in regard to her injuries. They were tangled together on top of the sheets of the bed, their bodies so close it probably looked like it was only one being. Spencer kissed her all over and nestled his face into her shoulder and neck, taking a deep breath of the familiar Evie scent that he'd missed so much.

"Spencer..." she giggled, running her hand through his hair.

"Hmm..." he hummed into her skin, making her shiver while lightly biting her neck. She wrapped her legs in his and pulled his body closer to her, making him sigh happily.

"I love you." she whispered into his hair, kissing the top of his head. She always had meant it when she reminded him, but this time it really hit home with her. She thought she was going to die. She was sure that she was going to die. Having everything she cared about be ripped from her and then be able to have it all back once more was overwhelming, but she was taking it better than Spencer. Not that it was a problem, it was just the way he was quiet before that bothered her. When JJ had told her that he wasn't doing to well, she imagined the worst case scenario like she often does. But actually seeing Spencer and how quiet and traumatized he looked was something she never would've been able to imagine without seeing it for herself. It broke her heart, but at least he was opening up a bit more now.

"I love you too." he whispered, stopping his nipping at her neck to look up into her eyes to tell her that he really meant it. "I missed you." he said, reaching forward with a shaking hand to brush the hair from her eyes.

"I missed you too." she said, closing her eyes in bliss while feeling the light touch of his fingertips graze her forehead. "However, I'm exhausted. We should get rest before going to the BAU tomorrow."

"But I can't sleep through time I could be spending with you." he told her, lying his head on her shoulder. Evie smiled and kissed the top of his head again, rubbing his arm with her arm that wasn't restrained by a sling. God, it was so much thinner...

"I'll be here when you wake up."

"But what if you're not?"

"Baby-"

"Really." Spencer interrupted, suddenly sitting up so his face was only a few inches from hers. "What if it's a dream?"

Evie didn't know what to say. For a moment she nearly had a heart attack with the thought that maybe it was she who was hallucinating. What she felt was too real though. Spencer was too real.

"Everytime I'd close my eyes, I'd see you." he went on in a quiet voice. "I'd be haunted by a new memory. Some of them turned into you... into you dying. I'd have to wake up and realize that it was reality. But the worst were the good dreams. I would hold you and kiss you and smell your hair and taste your lips and then I'd wake up and realize that everything was reversed; I could only be with you in my sleep and awake I'd be living a nightmare." he finished, his voice lined with a deeper hurt than Evie had ever seen in him.

"I'm right here." she whispered, leaning forward so that they touched noses. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

Evie leaned forward as her eyes fluttered closed. She felt Spencer's breath on her lips as she closed the gap in between their faces. Her lips grazed his until she was kissing him for the first time in weeks. They moved in perfect synchronization, keeping it nice and gentle and sweet. Her fingers combed through his hair and his hand found the side of her face, his thumb running over her cheekbone. In that moment she felt as if she was going to explode with every good feeling in the world. This was something that she'd never ever take for granted.

Spencer felt a breakdown coming on. He hadn't kissed Evie in what felt like years and years and years. It was still hard for him to believe that it was actually happening. She was there, right there. Her body was under his, her finger in his hair, her lips pressed against his own. The overwhelming sensation within him took over and he couldn't help the tear that slipped down his cheek.

Evie broke the kiss and rested her forehead on his, reaching forward to dry his skin with her sleeve wrapped around her hand. Spencer sniffled and let his gaze fall shyly.

"I love you." she reminded him again.

"I love you too." he replied, letting himself fall back on her shoulder. He felt Evie chuckle and reach forward to turn of the light. Within seconds, the room was bathed in darkness and Spencer was reminded of the countless nights he had been in this room at this time trying to go to sleep without Evie. Now she was here. She was here. The recognition of that fact was the only thing replaying in Spencer's mind over and over again.

Please still be here when I wake up. He thought to himself. If he woke up to find that all of this was only a dream, it would be the cruelest dream he'd had yet. Reid didn't know how he'd live past that.

"Spencer, if you don't go to sleep, I'm not going to sleep." he suddenly heard Evie's voice above him, her voice sounding muffled since his ear was pressed up against her shoulder.

Reid looked over at the clock on the nightstand. 3:10. Had thirty minutes really passed since she'd turned the lights off?

"I can't."

"How much sleep have you been getting each night?"

Spencer was silent.

"I already know you've been depriving yourself of basically everything, there's no use in not telling me."

Reid shifted uncomfortably on Evie's chest.

"Like 3 or 4 hours."

"My god..."

"I could've miscalculated."

"You never miscalculate."

Spencer took a deep breath and adjusted himself on her body once more.

"I'm going to sleep now."

"Good." she said. Just through her voice he could tell she was smiling ever so slightly.

"Love you."

"Love you."

Spencer closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to get sleep to come.

"Not sleeping for 24 hours is the equivalent of having a blood alcohol level of .10, the legal limit in most states and-"

Evie laughed and covered his mouth with her hand.

"Spencer, shh."

Spencer smiled and closed his eyes once more. Having that familiar moment of something he often did to annoy her at night made everything somehow more real. That in itself was enough for him to diminish some of his worries and finally fall into the first good night's rest he'd had in forever.

Anyone else annoyed at the fact Spencer hasn't been in the past three episodes of Criminal Minds for the first time ever? Probably because of the new Alvin and the Chipmunks movie I'd assume. Anyway, Merry Christmas to all of you who celebrate it!