Chapter 3

Enter Ophelia

Looking into his eyes I was feeling all sorts of discomfort. Anger. Sadness. Anxiety. Longing. Hate. Love. And finally, I was just confused. "What are you doing here?" he had the nerve to ask me such a question after all the hell he put me through. I should be asking him that question.

"Why?" was all I could get through the lump in my throat when there was so much I wanted to say, to ask, to know. He stared into my eyes as if he was reading into my soul. I want to cry, to run into his arms, to slap him across the face and pummel him to the ground demanding apologies. But I won't do any of it. He doesn't deserve the attention.

"Why what, Raven?" His voice was so calm like he didn't feel anything for me after all these years, like he didn't just witness the scene from outside my room. I couldn't find the words I wanted to say so I just stared at him incredulously. "How about you come inside and we can… talk?" I walked down the steps to stand in front of him. He got taller. His hair grew longer reaching his waist. His eyes held even more mystery than before. And his chin… he had a goatee, black hairs dusting a strip below his lower lip to his chin. Now, I stared straight at his now-muscled chest which was showing through is open shirt. So sexy. I'd have to crane my head to look into his eyes, but I refused to do so. I couldn't let him see the tears flowing from my eyes. He was gone for so long. He abandoned me, and left me in the dark, left me pregnant and alone to raise our kids. I feel like I don't know him anymore. The boy who brought me black Baccara roses and surprised me with romantic picnics in the cemetery. The boy who told me how he loved me, and took my virginity in his coffin. He wasn't here with me anymore. "Raven? Don't cry."

He put a finger under my chin and tilted my head back so I could see him. His eyes, the deep pools of chocolate that I loved so much were… hurt? Then the memory came back of the last time I looked into his eyes. I was in bed with another man. "You left. You disappeared from me, abandoned me. I needed you and you isolated me. Why?" I was screaming. Yelling at him when I wanted to be kissing him now. To hell with sanity, my emotions were running amuck.

His eyes widened and he stepped back. "I left for family matters. I didn't know how long I'd be away. You were never abandoned Raven. I had Sebastian watch out for you. He would tell me how you were doing."

"You had family matters here!" I yelled at him. "And Sebastian? He was completely useless. He wouldn't help me when I needed him… when I needed you."

Then his face became angry as he started to yell with me, ignoring everything I just said. "What he didn't tell me was that my wife had cheated on me with another guy! What the hell was that?" Wife? What the fuck? "I come home to find you not there. So I called up Sebastian to find out you had moved out into some other house. He told me that you had roommates, but not that kind." I'm stuck on the wife part. But Alexander keeps yelling at me and his eyes were changing to a bright red. "You want to come back over here and ask me 'why'? Why didn't you wait for me? I turn my back to take care of things while you're out fucking around. What was I to you, Raven." His voice cracked at the last part, and I felt my heart shatter all over again. But dammit I was still royally pissed off!

"SHUT UP!" I screamed. "You were everything to me. You are the one who pushed me away. Remember? You kicked me out of your coffin, stopped drinking from me, and stopped talking to me, started locking me away you left without saying goodbye. I was going through something and I had no idea where you were, or when you were coming back. You didn't take me with you. You wouldn't speak to me. It's okay to speak to everyone else, but me? I missed you, Alexander. My parents died and I needed you. I waited for you for FIVE FUCKING YEARS! I thought you had forsaken me, regretted me. Everyone else moved away, or stopped talking to me, or died. I was alone, you fucking dipshit!" I was sobbing now. I felt my eyes turn red too once I got started. "You said you loved me you fucking LIAR. You don't know anything about love or else you would have stayed by my side and helped with… with, everything."

I couldn't look at him anymore. I was so heartbroken. I never healed from the pain Alexander brought me. Instead, I've been ignoring it. And now it was breaking through. "Raven," he started cautiously. Probably realizing that I was on the verge of turning hysterical. "I… I don't know how to explain these things to you. I didn't intend to ignore you. But being away from you was tearing me apart too." Those words made me look up at him, to see if he was being genuine. "If I were to speak with you… I'd either breakdown in an angry fit or drop everything and come back home. I didn't know about your parents, and I apologize for not being there to comfort you. Raven, I'm sorry for this… this, misunderstanding. To a vampire, eight years seems so little, but to a human… I'm sorry, my love. About pushing you away… I only meant for you to be comfortable in your own coffin so that when I left it wouldn't seem so foreign. As for the blood, to meet with the royal families, means I must be presentable. Marks from the sacred kiss are considered provocative and disrespectful to them. Like, hickeys showing at an upscale business meeting. I didn't think it would be fair for me to drink from you if you weren't allowed the same. But I swear to you, Raven, that I have stayed faithful to you."

OH. MY. FUCKING. GAAAAAAAAAH. I wish I could just… urgh! I can't stand here and listen to him feel hurt and betrayed, forcing guilt onto me, while I hadn't known anything about anything and suffered for it. "I can't do this. I can't do it. I don't know what to do anymore. I was dying inside. You left me heartbroken. It must have never crossed your thick skull that your newly turned bride would need assurance on your 'plans' before you up and vanish!" I took a deep breath before I continued. "I had so much to deal with here, things I wasn't ready for. I waited but I had to move on and stay strong and not just for myself. And when things start to feel better, I find myself to be content. I swore I would never date again. I separated myself from our friends who were no help. Then I found a new friend who had absolutely no relation to anyone in this town or whatever. I wasn't fucking around Alexander. I had one FRIEND who helped me when I needed it; to take the pain away, who'd make the loneliness go away. WHILE YOU IGNORED ME, AND LEFT ME HELPLESSLY IN THE DARK." I looked into his eyes, daring him to speak against me.

"So, what now?" he finally asked me. "I watched you, because I couldn't believe my eyes, having sex with someone who wasn't me. I came back, for you. I wasn't expected back for two more years, but I worked hard to get the job done so I could come back home to my bride." I watched a tear fall from his eye.

"I'm sorry, Alexander. I'm so sorry about what you saw. But you have to understand that I didn't know anything. If you had told me what was going on I would have kept waiting for you. I thought you didn't want me. I'm so sor-" I was interrupted by his lips crashing onto mine. I was surprised but returned the kiss. My kisses were frantic, welcoming, and longing. Alexander's were rough, hard, and punishing. I gasped and he took the opportunity to enter my mouth with his tongue. He was exploring my taste after all these years and I explored his, savored it, drunk it. I grazed my tongue on one of his fangs and tasted the sweetness of my blood dripping through. He drank it up, sucked on my tongue and in less than a minute, he raced us with his vampire speed to our attic room. "Alexander," I cried. There was so much I wanted to tell him. But right now I needed this moment to feel his lips against mine, his warmth surrounding me, and his taste on my tongue.

"I've missed you, Raven" was all he needed to say before he started rubbing his hands all over me as if to make sure I was real. Nothing stopped me from doing the same with him. He was back. He came back home, to me. I was panting as the anxiety came over me. We were kissing and touching and crying. I missed him, and I still loved him.

"I love you, Alexander Sterling. I still do. Don't you ever leave me like that again." This time I used my vampire speed to push him down on the mattress at the corner of the room. As I climbed on top of him and continued my rush of kisses, I felt him tense under me. "What's wrong?" I asked him.

Alexander closed his eyes and rubbed his hand down his face. He looked stressed, lost. "We can't be like this, Raven. If you caught me in bed with another women would you be so eager to get back with me?" I knew it was impossible for us to go back and pick up where we left off. I felt so guilty and dirtier. Of course he wouldn't want me now. Then the thought of what he said brought a wave of jealousy and anger through me. He was right. We can't be like this. I don't know how long this would last. I could feel the bond between us grow stronger as we were together. Would this tension and desire last forever? Wanting each other, but never getting past this? I wanted to cry all over again. We had a family now. We should be able to get past this. I hugged Alexander to me tightly because I never wanted to let him go. Breathing in is scent, smelling the blood running through his veins. I cried on his chest and he held me to him. This felt like it would be the last time I got to be with him.

"Will you stay? Or do you plan on leaving again?" I asked him, hoping it would be the first. I almost thought of telling him about the twins, but I didn't want to tie him down to me by using them. It seemed selfish to me. But he needed to know, right? They needed their father. But, for now, they had me and Billy and Luke. Mentally I put out a promise to myself that I'd wait until Alexander was ready. Right now, there was too much confusion to make a reasonable sense of anything. For all I know he could get freaked out and run away. I wasn't confident anymore.

He let out a breath he must have held on to. "To be honest, this is my home. It always will be. But now… I don't know. I need time to think this through." I sat up and he followed. I took my last long look at him, taking in every detail, before I kissed the corner of his lips and got up to leave. Walking down the steps leading from his attic room, I noticed everything was back in its place except for my own things. I went down the stairs from the second floor and saw Jameson coming out of the dining room. He still looked like the creepy old butler I loved, only a bit more aged. The kids would love him too.

"It's good to see you again, Miss Raven." He said once he noticed me. I answered by giving him a big hug. I knew I was still crying when he asked me, "Is everything alright?" My only answer was a weak smile before walking out the door. I got back into my car and started the ignition. Staring at the figure in the attic window I wondered how things were going to be between us. I pulled out of the long driveway and drove off to work. Then I remembered, he never said 'I love you' back.