Gosh guys, this chapter was SO much fun to write. I hope it's just as fun to read. REVIEW if it is!
Disclaimer. Don't own Twilight.
Bella brought Alice home after a long chat with Esme about how her date had went. Bella had nothing but good things to say, but Esme still worried that Bella had become too tired and gave Jacob a 'minus sign' in her book on this one. In addition to other 'plus signs' for other good things he had done. Bella didn't even begin to understand, and didn't want to try.
Alice got told a little different story when they got home and Bella enjoyed the joy of laughing with her baby sister over a boy. She and Alice had sister time that afternoon. Alice wanted to go outside and play but held back and did simple things inside the house. She could see that Bella was tired and knew the sings that her eyes were hurting her. She asked Bella about it once but was told
"Alice. I'm fine." And knew to let it drop after that.
In the evening when light outside started to fade Alice and Bella fixed dinner. Bella put aside an extra plate filled with food.
During dinner Bella got a text from Jacob.
'Hey babe. Gonna be late. Again. Keep waiting for me. There'll be someone outside protecting you. Don't worry. Miss you.'
After dishes were done Alice asked Bella who the food was for?
"It's for Jacob. He had to go to work, but he's going to stop by after. Alice, is Jacob being here okay with you? Because this is your home too. And if you ever, ever feel like you're being left out or neglected in any way, all you have to do is tell me. You come first for me. You know that."
Alice put her sister's hand on her face like she was accustomed to do. "I don't mind Sissy. I like Jacob. And I like seeing you happy. So I don't mind if he comes around."
Bella smiled and petted her sisters hair. "But do you mind how often he comes around? You have to understand that Jacob might be spending a lot of time here. Maybe even some nights too. But I'm still always going to be here when you need me. And you still have Carlisle and Esme. None of us are going anywhere. Just means that Jacob will be around for you too. And ya know, he can play sports and things with you. Things that I can't do." Bella said with a sudden pleasant thought. She was always sad she couldn't play things like that with Alice. The blind could not catch a ball.
Alice and Bella went outside after it got dark to look at stars. Of course Bella could not actually see the stars, but Alice loved to describe their colors and shapes to her. Bella loved to feel the cool night breeze and smell the forest.
They stayed near the cottage. They got lawn chairs from the porch and Bella picked up her book. Alice started trying to find constellations. It only took a few moments before Bella could hear Alice's snore. Bella could feel the good presence near and knew it was one of the wolves out in the night keeping an eye on her and Alice. Bella had a thought and went inside the house for a moment. She came back outside a few moments later with a bowl of warmed soup and toast in one hand, and a pair of Jacob's shorts in the other. Alice's snore was louder and her breathing deeper now.
Bella set the food on a table near the porch and took the shorts out farther into the yard with her. She hesitated, then whistled softly.
"I'm not sure who's out here, but it's going to be a cold night. And you've been out here for quite a while. It's not much, but there's some hot soup and toast on the porch. And here's a pair of Jacob's shorts. I can bring out a blanket. It'll be warmer. And I didn't do anything to the soup, it's just garden herbs and veggies. No meat. But if you don't want to eat it I understand- OH!"
A very human hand touched hers.
"I carry my own jeans. But thanks. The food smells amazing. And its Embry, by the way. "
Bella smiled, her heart springing in her chest. "You're so quiet! I never hear Jacob either. And I have amazing hearing. It comes with the whole blind thing."
Embry laughed. "Our quietness comes with the whole wolf thing."
Bella giggled then reminded herself that Alice was asleep and she needed to keep her voice down.
"My little sister Alice is asleep in the chair. The soup is on that table on the porch, and I don't know if you guys drink coffee or coco or if you want anything to drink at all."
"I like coco. And thanks. If you want I can carry the child inside. She's got to be cold out here. I won't wake her. Deathly quiet, remember?"
Bella hesitated, but spoke. "That would be nice. You can put her on the couch if you want; or her bedroom-Just follow me." Bella finished with a laugh.
She couldn't hear his steps as she started back to the cottage but she sensed his presence and that was enough. She paused at the chairs and felt Embry go to Alice and heard the chair squeak slightly when she was lifted. Bella made her way up the walk and opened the door for Embry. He went through and Bella left it open, just in case Embry was not comfortable being in her home without an escape.
"Her room is-"
"Bella, I can smell it." Embry told her and laughed at her dumbfounded look.
Bella laughed then. "Of course you can. Well then, just lay her on the bed and close the door. I'll wake her later to get ready for bed."
Bella laughed at herself and went outside to get the soup. She brought it in and set it on the table along with the toast. She heard Alice's door close softly and then heard footsteps and knew that Embry was purposefully making noise only for her benefit.
"I brought the food in here. It might stay warmer longer this way. If you wish to eat outside though then you of course may. I wasn't sure you would be comfortable eating in here…"
"If you'll allow it, I would enjoy eating inside."
Bella smiled at that. "Of course you can."
"And Bella? You can close the door. I'm not afraid to be in your home."
Bella smiled sheepishly. "I wasn't sure. I'm new to all this. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. I wasn't even sure if it was stepping out of line to offer the food."
At that Embry laughed wholeheartedly. "Bella, food is ALWAYS a welcome thing. You could never offend us. We are the pack of your mate. And I know you have not been around long, but you'll learn things quickly. And the first thing you'll learn; wolves can eat. Like eat you out of house and home in no time flat. Our stomachs are the equivalent to a dumpster."
Bella laughed but took note of that in her head. She was grateful for Embry's kindness.
They sat at the table and Bella took the opportunity Embry offered her to ask questions that were burning in her brain. And when Bella hesitated with a question Embry just told her information. He told her about the people and families, and mostly about the pack. Rachel was Jacob's sister, whom Bella knew, and Paul had been trying to Mate Rachel since high school.
Bella asked how Paul could go that long, but Embry just said that Rachel was stubborn and Paul was tough.
Embry finished his bowl of soup in what Bella was convinced was record time, and Bella hurriedly fixed him another. Embry protested, but was overruled.
Bella was tired and yawned as she cleaned up from Embry's soup. He had gone outside to run a lap around the house to check for danger. Bella thought he meant I wolf form, but didn't ask. She heard the door open and Embry's voice.
"It's Embry. All clear around the perimeter. Jacob said he would be home soon. And he said something about you better still be waiting. SO don't even wana know what that means."
Bella laughed and rubbed her nose with her elbow because her hands were still in dishwater.
"I could have cleaned up" Embry spoke.
Bella laughed. "Psh. A boy who offers to do his own dishes. Besides, aren't I supposed to be the uh, 'mother' of the pack? Cook and clean and all that?"
Embry laughed. "Yes, being our Alpha's Mate, you are the Mother of the pack. But that doesn't mean that you have to do our laundry. It more means that you are who will be there for us long after our own mothers are gone. Our birth mothers that is. You are the future of our pack. We have to have a woman's influence. We are just a bunch of wild boys after all." He laughed and Bella smiled, thinking about what he had said.
"Well regardless, I enjoy cooking, and cleaning is not that big of a deal."
Bella finished dishes and Embry surprised her by grabbing the dish towel and drying them. Bella fixed tea for herself and coco for Embry, and they sat outside on the porch for a while.
Bella didn't mind the chill with her sweater on, but Embry grabbed the blanket off the couch and her fuzzy socks from the laundry by the bathroom anyway. She didn't think it was necessary, but Embry explained that it was in their nature to make sure she was always comfortable and safe. And if she even got a cold or runny nose from being outside in the cold while he was there he wouldn't be able to forgive himself.
Even being as wrapped up as she was, Embry sat close to her to provide her with his added heat.
Bella told him that since she had asked him so many questions that he was welcome to ask her anything he was wondering.
Bella could feel his hesitation and encouraged.
"Well, Jacob doesn't want us to make you uncomfortable with any questions, and I don't know what to avoid and what's safe."
"Jacob worries too much. Tell ya what, you ask a question and if I don't feel comfortable answering it, I won't. "
"Okay, I guess that's fine. Well, I was kinda wondering about why you live so connected to your parents. Like you live in their house, but it's your own home."
Bella considered the question. "Well, I'm blind. And even though I can take care of myself just fine, but because I have Alice, it's just better that someone with eyes is close. And I have always had a weak immune system, and Carlisle is the best doctor there is. Having him close is nice. And I'm not sure I could live without Esme. She's just amazing. She's my best friend. Even though that sounds corny as all get out." Bella laughed with slight humor.
"When we moved here Esme decided that I could use my own space, and it's not like Alice could be far, so she bought the house with the cottage and then had the walkway built so that the houses are completely connected. It's my own house. I do my own laundry and cook and clean, but if we ever need anything she and Carlisle are only a short walk away. And if we ever get lonely or anything then it's so easy to go to the big house because Esme's always home. They're the only family that Alice and I have ever had."
"Well, I guess that makes sense." Embry said. "Not to be rude, but how do you pull off so much being like you are?"
"Blind you mean? I've just learned. I have been blind for 11 years. And so I guess it all just kinda got practiced enough and I can do it on my own. Cooking is something I already knew how to do and Esme helped me change how I did things after the incident, and there are objects that help me too. Things made specifically for the blind and things from every day that you wouldn't thing would be helpful that really are."
"Thank-you for obliging my questions. I know it was a little edgy."
"I had choice in answering. If I hadn't wanted to I wouldn't have."
Then Embry asked her about the bookstore and how she liked her job. Bella enjoyed telling him about her love of books, and then laughed when Embry had to ask her the question of how she read when she was blind. Bella brought out onto the porch one of her books in braille and took enjoyment in listening to Embry as she explained the letters. Bella was so engrossed that she didn't notice Embry stiffen for a moment. But then she did.
She kept her mouth shut with good sense. Embry sniffed deeply and scooted slightly closer to Bella. She kept still, trying in vain to hear anything. Then Embry relaxed.
"Hey, it's been seriousally awesome spending time with you. I'll be around. And back soon to keep watch I am sure. If you ever need anything just holler. There's always someone out here. Thanks again for dinner Bella. You'll have to start rationing it when word gets around how good a cook you are. Bye Bella." There was a smile in his voice and squeezed he her hand quickly before hopping up off the porch. He didn't go any farther than that though, and Bella sat confused.
Then she felt it, like a pull in her chest. Jacob. He was home.
"Hey Bro, don't know if you know it yet but gosh your girl can cook. And she's super cool to talk too. You ever need someone here I'll always be on call."
"Good to hear it Brother. Now get on home. Jared's on watch tonight."
Bella heard chest and skin smacking and thought maybe a hug? Then feet running on the dirt, their sound gone quickly.
"There you are." The voice purred. The voice she had craved to hear for hours.
"Still waiting, as was requested. Although know that I don't enjoy to be kept waiting." Bella made her voice sassy, thinking pout.
Hands came under her knees and behind her back and she released a little squeak.
"I'll keep that in mind."
Face in her neck and breathing deep, Jacob made Bella giggle as he carried her through the front door, blanket and all, and then closed it behind them. He carried her to the couch but instead of dumping her there this time he laid her down and then did the most surprising thing yet and followed her down.
Bella let out a breath in surprise and Jacob was there to suck in that breath as he swooped down to capture her lips in his. Jacob was intent on what he was doing and Bella's heart fluttered at his intense kisses.
Jacob let his weight rest on Bella and she loved the feel of it. The heat of him that sunk into her skin.
He was shirtless. Bella reached her arms up around his neck to hold him closer and got pure skin. Male and muscled.
Bella did not protest when Jacob's hands were in her hair or slipping the blanket out from around her. She did not protest when his lips left hers to trail down her neck. Or when he lifted up her shirt to grind his hands into her back. But when she heard material rip Bella was suddenly very aware of their surroundings.
"Jacob" She said between gasps.
"Jacob, what has gotten into you?"
"Jacob, if you want this to go any further we need to relocate."
And still nothing. Her shirt was ripped almost all the way up, his hands close enough to her breasts to make her pant.
He was not there, not Jacob. Small growling sounds made Bella think that this was more the wolf than the man. Not that she minded.
He kept distracting her with his touch and Bella could not keep a straight mind. Finally she pushed at him.
"Jacob, Jacob, listen to me."
"Jacob, STOP." That got his attention.
He went still. His hands that were on her back were stiff, his head on her chest heavy.
"Jacob," Bella panted.
Slowly he lifted his head. She put her hands on his face. His lips were a little puffy from all the kissing, but that wasn't what Bella noticed.
His eyes were squeezed closed tight.
"Bella, stop." He gritted out.
And Bella realized her mistake.
"No, no, Jacob listen. I didn't mean I tlike that. Jacob!" But the damage was done. Jacob got up, even though Bella pulled him back.
"Stay. Stay right here Jacob and let me explain." And then she felt bad instantly again when he went stiff and did exactly as she had asked, the Mating not giving him the choice.
She put her hands softly back on his face and stroked.
"Jacob, I'm sorry. I didn't realize my mistake. I just wanted to get your attention, ad talking wasn't working. I didn't mean anything by pushing you away."
Jacob turned his face away, still hard under her hands.
"Jacob. Seriously. Do you think I minded? Or did you not notice that I was kissing you back? Or moaning, much to my embarrassment?"
Jacob mumbled something.
"Huh?"
Sigh. "You shouldn't be embarrassed. About moaning."
"Well I cant really help it when a guy walks into my house and ravishes me on the couch. Especially when it's a beautiful muscled amazing man who's doing the ravishing. Not to mention that his growls….well they make me want to do very naughty things."
Jacob's lips twitched at that. He sighed.
"Bella, I ripped your clothes."
"I have more." She replied immediately.
"But I should have had more control. I was wolfed out almost all day and I guess it just hasn't left me."
"I don't mind. I'm not worried about you hurting me, but if we were to continue I think we should leave the couch and make our way somewhere more private."
"Bella, what you did today for Embry…You're such a good person. You're going to be the best Mate there ever was, you already are. Seeing how kind you were in Embry's mind….Well I guess it kinda got to me. And by that I mean I kinda wanted to jump you."
Bella smiled. "I'll make a note to be nice next time I wana be jumped."
Jacob smiled slightly. He turned his face into her hand and brought his up to hold hers to him. He began to relax slightly and Bella was eventually able to coax him back down so that he was straddling her waist and his body was curved so that his head was lying on her chest. Bella stroked his hair and ran her fingers through the coarse strands. Jacob purred, his chest releasing the vibrating grumble. Bella smiled.
Where his lower body rested on her waist, he was hard. Jacob didn't say anything, and Bella didn't either.
Jacob shifted his head slightly and sniffed at her. Then he fingered her torn clothing.
"It's okay Jacob. I have other shirts."
He said nothing.
They lay there for a while, Bella just letting Jacob wrap his arms around her waist while she stroked his hair. Finally he had relaxed and seemed to be okay again.
However he hadn't said a word. Bella had talked to him, but his responses were grunts, no words leaving his lips.
Then he surprised her. Jacob turned his face into the bare shin of her chest and pressed kisses there. Not heated or rushed, just pecks of his lips that made her blush and brought heat to her skin. He kissed up her neck to her jugular and then very slowly licked her skin there. Bella's breathing was erratic.
Then he stopped. And moved up to press against her lips.
"Bella," he sighed her name against her lips.
"Come on," Bella spoke. She gripped his arms and pushed, but this time kept hold of them. Jacob stood up and Bella used her hold on his arms to haul herself up as well. She kept a tight hold on one of his arms and used her other hand to guide them to her bedroom. There Bella took Jacob to the bed and pushed him down so that he was sitting. She stood.
"I've got to go get Alice into her jammies for bed. I want you to stay just as you are. Seriously."
Jacob didn't say anything. He remained still. Bella sighed but let go of his arms slowly and backed away. She thought she heard a slight whimper but kept walking."
Bella smiled. Alice was in the exact position she had been when Embry had dumped her. Bella knew this by where she placed her hand on Alice's foot to wake her. Alice was groggy, but brushed her teeth and was in PJ's and asleep again in no time. Bella waited to feel the heat from the nightlight and then closed Alice's door after her.
She stopped outside her own door to think.
Bella closed the door to her bedroom behind her. She walked to the bathroom and turned on the light. Her eyes were giving her a good night. She could almost make out a shadow. It rarely happened to the blind, but Bella was one of the randomly lucky that sometimes got shadows. And tonight was one of those times. Not that it made much difference. She was still blind.
Bella turned on the bathtub and made sure the water was hot. She filled it up most of the way, but left some space for a body to fit without the water sloshing over the edge.
Bella went back out to the bedroom where Jacob was. He hadn't moved. Bella went over and took charge, having decided this was what she thought she needed to do.
She lifted Jacob's arms over his head and pulled his shirt off. He had put one on when he got up to go to the bathroom earlier. Jacob didn't protest. Then she pulled on his arms until he obliged her by standing. She held her breath and reached her hands down to unzip his jeans. She pushed them down his legs and Jacob stepped out of them. Bella took his hand and pulled him to the bathroom. She left the door open in case she needed to hear Alice.
Bella dimmed the light over the large bathtub. She let go of Jacob but he just stood there.
She sighed and went to him. She put her hands on his boxers and pushed at them. That got Jacob's attention and he stepped back, away from her.
Bella put her hands on her hips. "Then do it yourself." She told him.
There was hesitation, but after a moment Bella heard fabric hit the floor.
Bella smiled. "Good. Now get in the tub."
Bella heard the water swish and splash as Jacob's body mass was added to the water. Bella grabbed her scrubby and a bottle of her favorite chocolate body wash.
She moved to kneel beside the tub and Jacob pulled his knees up to his chest to cover himself.
Bella laughed. "Jacob, sweetheart, I'm blind. I can't see anything. Which means there's no reason to cover anything."
Jacob seemed to realize she was right.
Bella moved right next to the tub and reached her hand in to get the scrubby wet. Then she squirted soap onto it and rubbed it between her hands to make it bubbly.
Bella reached out to Jacob and gently began to run the scrubby along his skin. He didn't flinch or stiffen, he just remained still.
Bella kept running the soapy sponge-like object across his shoulders and back, his neck and chest. She hummed as she did it. She didn't make the act sensual or sexual. She didn't tease him. She scrubbed his arms. She told him about how her day had gone after Jacob had left. She told him what Esme had said about their date. She told him about Embry liking her cooking and the kind things he had said to her that had made her feel so good.
Bella told Jacob about how much Alice liked the stars. She told him what they had for dinner, and remembered that there was food left for him on a plate in the fridge. She would see that he ate. Later.
Jacob was in Heaven and Hell at the same time. Bella was touching him. She had him naked in the bathtub and she was running a brush filled with soap that smelled like she did all over him. And she was talking to him. Telling him the events of her day and how much she liked his Brother. And Jacob loved her all the more for it. But she was acting like nothing had happened.
Like Jacob hadn't come home and practically raped her. Threw her down on the couch like some cheap hooker and then mounted her. He had ripped her clothing, and he hadn't even known he was doing it. He could have hurt her. Could have left marks on her delicate porcelain skin.
He let the wolf have his way with her.
Jacob had been listening to Sam, one of his Brothers, as he remembered in vivid memory what he had been doing with his girlfriend Leah Clearwater before he left to meet the pack. And after sex on the brains off all the pack, there had been only one thing on Jacob's mind. And unfortunate for Bella, he was still thinking like the wolf even when he shifted back to human form.
And what she had done for Embry….it was amazing. She was so amazing. She cooked for his brother, provided him with hot food and a warm place to eat. With company. And she was not scared, not the entire time. Jacob had seen everything in Embry's mind when he shifted to run perimeter checks.
There had been no scent of fear, not the entire time.
Bella thought that Jacob was not listening to her, well not really at least. He seemed to be in his own mind, thinking. But Bella understood that. She wanted him to. She wanted him to think things through and realize that nothing had been as bad as it had seemed.
When she was younger, and after the incident, she had had terrible panic attacks. They still happened, but back then they were almost daily.
When those bad times came, this is what Esme had done. A hot bath. Scrubbing her back softly with scented soap. And talking.
That was what made the difference. It was the talking. Telling random and unimportant things, telling things you had seen on tv or a passage from a new book you had read. It didn't matter really what it was. But the sound of the pther persons voice, that's what made everything so much better.
And Bella did not know what else to do with Jacob, when he was so withdrawn from her all of the sudden. She didn't want him to stay like that. So she did this. And she thought that since she was his Mate that the sound of her voice would possibly be more beneficial than that of anyone else's.
The water cooled down. But Bella still scrubbed softly and talked.
Jacob listened.
And slowly, Bella's idea worked like magic.
Jacob relaxed. His body loosened. His shoulders slumped and his head was swaying slowly side to side in rhythm to her voice.
Bella's arm was pretty much numb by the time Jacob finally turned around toward her.
He turned around in the water, still sitting. Bella paused her motions and her voice and just sat there.
"Thank you." He spoke softly. And Bella sighed in relief.
Jacob stood up, towering over her, and stepped out of the tub. Bella turned in the direction of his movements.
Jacob reached down and lifted Bella up by her forearms, and right into his arms. He threw the scrubby that was in her hands into the tub of slowly draining bath water.
Jacob had put a towel around his waist. He carried Bella to the bed and sat her down on the side much as she had done for him. And also like she had done for him, Jacob stripped her of her shirt, the same one he had torn. He stood Bella up and unbuttoned her pants. He slid them down her legs and helped her step out of them.
Bella did not protest. It would not be fair.
Bella was in her bra and panties, but Jacob wasn't paying much attention to that. He threw her clothes in the corner where he would dispose of them later.
He picked Bella up bridal style and turned down the quilts and sheets. Jacob did not let go of her as he crawled into bed. She was secured to him as he layed down and tucked both their feet under the blankets. Jacob covered them both and made sure that Bella was tucked in good.
He then lowered his arm to around her. His whole body was surrounding her.
And Bella loved it. They had never touched with this much skin, not this close before. The had not done much more than kiss.
But this wasn't sexual. This was connecting on a different level. Jacob was accepting what Bella already had. She wasn't leaving. She was sticking around, and Jacob better learn that she wasn't scared of him.
Bella kept quiet, but squirmed a little closer once under the sheets. Jacob liked this and pressed himself closer to her also. So close that every inch of her skin was covered somewhere by his. His chin on top of her neck partly, also semi resting in the crook of her neck. Jacob was breathing in her scent at all times.
Bella didn't mind the nakedness. She loved that her senses were so acute since she didn't have her eyes. That meant that her sense of touch was better. And she could feel Jacob everywhere against hre so much better.
Jacob held her physically close, his arm semi tense around her. Bella wanted him to relax and sleep.
So she squirmed against him and got closer than she thought was humanly possible. But then again, Jacob was not human. So it was defiantly possible.
Then she hummed, softly. An old nursery rhyme that she remembered humming to Alice when she was a baby. And Jacob hugged her close.
And Bella's humming became more faint and more faint. Jacob's breathing was strong and deep. And they were both asleep. And yet still both so aware of each other. And it was amazing.
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