"Conflict grows out of ignorance and suspicion."

~Gordon B. Hinckley

Spencer shakily unlocked the front door to his apartment, scared of what laid on the other side. It wasn't the same fear of seeing things that brought back aching memories of a lost loved one, this time he was just nervous about the state he left it in. He knew when he left for JJ's, the place had seemed to be emerged in a depressing aura that flooded every crack and crevasse. His thoughts were scrambled when it came to the first few nights of losing Evie, but he was pretty sure he remembered throwing a tantrum and nearly wrecking the place. He didn't want to be reminded of that night when he first got back from Boston without her, his head spinning, his eyes swimming, and his very being tearing apart inside of him. He didn't want Evie to see it either, who was standing beside him helping with his luggage.

"Spence, are you okay?" she asked when realizing that he was shaking too much to even get the key in the hole. Spencer threw her a small smile and nodded, trying to get himself under control. So maybe it wasn't all due to his nervousness of seeing the apartment again; he was going through something close to the beginning of a withdrawal. He hadn't had Dilaudid in over 24 hours now, which didn't seem like much, but when he had been taking it two or three times a day for nearly a week, it felt like an eternity.

Finally getting the key in and unlocking the door, Spencer pushed it open revealing their once lively apartment. It was in about the same state he expected it to be: curtains pulled closed, things splayed across the floor like a child had freaked out and started throwing things, dust floating in the air visible in the thin and few rays of light that did manage to find a way through any gaps in the tapestries covering the window. Reid sighed. He hoped they wouldn't have to move. He wanted to make it a happy place for them both again.

Studying Evie's face, Spencer saw that she was taken a little off guard. She certainly was thinking that she hadn't left the place like that.

"I um- sorry about the mess." Spencer stumbled awkwardly. Evie moved forward slowly without acknowledging him, looking at all of the stuff scattered across the floor. Spencer followed her, grabbing his suitcases and pulling them inside so he could shut the door behind them. He watched her walk around and observe all of the things pulled off shelves and out of drawers- all of her stuff to be exact. There were pictures of them, drawings she did, some of her journals where she wrote pointless things like lists and notes to herself, some of her jewelry, some of her clothes...

"Spence?" she said softly, still looking at all of her belongings scattered about.

"Hmm..." he replied hesitantly.

"Is staying here going to be a problem?" she asked, finally looking up at him, mirroring his thoughts. Spencer felt his worries melt away. Of course she wasn't upset, just worried about him. He didn't know why he expected anything different.

"I- I don't know." he admitted. Evie smiled sadly at him, carefully stepping over the clutter to get to him. Spencer watched her snake her arms around his waist and lay her head on his chest. Reid let out a relieved breath and resting his chin on her head, rubbing her back soothingly.

"Why don't we try brightening up the place a bit, and then we'll talk." she suggested. Spencer kissed her head and nodded.

"Okay."

Spencer picked up his luggage while she got started with picking the stuff up off the floor. He carried the bags in their room and set them on the bed that he hadn't bothered making before he left. As he set them down, something got shaken lose and tumbled to the floor. Spencer's reflexes kicked in and he shot an arm out to catch it, his hand closing around the cool glass Dilaudid bottle.

So Spencer hadn't exactly been able to get rid of the drugs... Yet. He told himself. He had held them over the rushing river far into the woods on the edge of JJ's neighborhood, but he couldn't bring himself to let go. Instead, Reid had stuff two viles of the liquid into his jacket pocket along with a syringe before turning back to the LaMontagne's house, very disappointed in himself. Throughout the day, his symptoms of withdrawal were getting worse however, and suddenly he wasn't so disappointed in his decision. He craved it, needed it.

Rolling the bottle in between his fingers, Reid tried to think of somewhere to hide it in the apartment.

"Do you want to order Chinese food?" Evie called from the living room, startling Spence.

"Sure, sounds good." Reid agreed. What was he thinking? He couldn't hide something like this from Evie. He promised her no more secrets. He promised himself no more secrets. And drugs, really? She deserved better than that.

Maybe just once more, and then I'll tell her. He said to himself, biting his lip. God, Spencer. What are you doing?

Extremely hesitantly, Spencer hurried across the room and into their closet, reaching up for an old shoe box that he kept old keepsakes in. He never had a reason to open it, and Evie had even less a reason. Hopefully they'd be safe in here.

"I ordered a little more than we usually get because I don't know about you, but I'm starving." Evelyn said as she walked in the room, just as Spencer placed the box back on the shelve with the Dilaudid inside. He quickly retracted his arm and turned around to look at her, putting on a fake smile to try to hide and suspicion.

"Yeah, yeah. That sounds fine." he said, cringing at the artificial tone in his voice. Sometimes he was an awful lier. He could tell that Evie knew something was off.

"You okay?" she asked him skeptically. Spencer nodded and walked forward, entwining one of his hands in hers. She looked up at him and smiled, seeming to relax a bit.

"Come see, it looks a lot brighter." she told him excitedly, pulling Spencer into the living room that was in fact, a lot lighter and less depressing than before. It was starting to look like the place he had loved so much before all of this mess happened.

"It looks a lot better." he agreed, pulling Evie closer to him. They stood still together, admiring their place before getting back to work, dusting and cleaning up.

The rest of the night had been pretty calm and relaxing which was just what they needed. They ate their food and watched Doctor Who together, talking about normal things that they would have talked about if this all had never happened. Spencer was okay with that. The only thing getting in his way of being happy with Evie was the fact that every passing hour got worse and worse in terms of his withdrawal. His shaking got worse, he felt hot and then freezing cold, and ached all over. He tried his best to hide it, but she would occasionally see something was up and question him about it. Everytime she did, Spencer countered with saying that he was just still not himself after everything that had happened, which was completely untrue.

When they finally decided to go to bed was when the symptoms became almost unbearable to hide. Spencer acted as ordinary as he could as they settled into bed, Evie cuddling up to him and Reid wrapping an arm protectively around her waist. All he could think about was the pain spreading throughout his body though, and he hated it. He wanted to just live these moments with Evs. He needed to fix this.

When she fell asleep, Spencer quietly got out of bed, watching her face to make sure she remained asleep. This was a terrible idea, he knew, but the gravity of the desire he had for it was astronomical... and he needed it now.

It wasn't long before Spencer was sitting on the floor in a corner of the living room, syringe in hand already loaded with the clear savory liquid. His hands were shaking like crazy at this point, and he was hardly able to fasten his belt around his forearm. After a painstakingly long amount of time, Spencer managed however, finally lining up the needed with the crook of his arm, taking a deep breath and trying to relax.

"I'm sorry, Evs." he whispered so quietly that he could barely even hear it. Letting out a low breath, Spencer pushed the needed into his skin and released the Dilaudid into his veins. It didn't take long for the sensation of pure relief to wash over him. His eyes rolled back into his head which lolled back to rest on the wall. Reid took deep breath of pleasure, feeling his head swim in the best possible way. While he felt amazing physically however, inside he was disgusted with himself. This wasn't him. This shouldn't be him.

Evie walked through the BAU, taking in a deep breath and just enjoying the dull office atmosphere of the bullpen. The boring gray carpet, the identical cubicles, the coffee stain right by the stairs: she wouldn't ever take any of it for granted again.

Since Hotch didn't want her and Spencer on scene for the case, he suggested that her and Reid go in to help Garcia which they had both been happy to oblige to. Evie was on the way to Garcia's office now, Spencer promising to meet her there after he went to pour himself some coffee with God knew how much sugar. He definitely needed it today too, he looked exhausted and Evie didn't know why. It wasn't like they had gone to been incredibly late and Spencer was usually running on minimal sleep everyday anyway. She supposed the whole situation was still throwing him for a loop which Evie understood, she had had at least three nightmares the other night and still wasn't herself either, but he was just acting so strange. Evie wasn't afraid to admit that she was deathly frightened that they may not be able to walk away from this the same ever again. Would this lead to the demise of their relationship?

Shaking the thought away, Evie entered the dark room full of monitors and computers at every corner, Garcia already sitting in the center clicking away on her keyboard.

"Hey sunshine." Garcia called over her shoulder, glancing back just for a second before continuing to type furiously. Evie smiled and was about to close the door when Spencer slipped in hurriedly after her, coffee in his hand.

"There you are." Evie said, earning a small back from Spencer. They sat down together next to Garcia who currently had a video chat pulled up with the rest of the team who seemed to be gathered in the Police Station of Jackson Michigan.

"We were just filling Garcia in- there were two killings last night that the JPD linked with the gang that took Evie." Hotch informed them. "And they found this."

Hotch held up what seemed to be a broken necklace that was just a silver chain with a small cross pendant. Evie squinted and leaned in, her heart suddenly caught in her throat.

"Recognize it?" Hotch asked, looking at Evie sympathetically as if he felt guilty for having to ask. Evie gulped and nodded.

"The main guy wore it all the time." she croaked softly. Spencer must have noticed the strain in his voice because he reached forward and put a hand on her leg, giving it a soft comforting squeeze. She also felt Garcia's kind and sympathetic eyes drilling into her, but she didn't exchange glances. She just kept her eyes on the necklace.

"The main guy?" Morgan asked.

"Slick."

"Slick? Was that a name he went by?" JJ asked kindly. Evie nodded and chuckled a bit.

"No that's just the name I gave him in my head because his hair was always slicked back with disgusting amounts of hair gel." she said, blushing a bit. This time she did look over to Garcia and Spencer who both gave her reassuring smiles.

"How many men were they traveling with?" Hotch asked, bringing her back to the conversation.

"Um... I'm not sure. I saw or heard at least six." she said. "Sorry." she added.

"No, no. This is all helpful, Evie. Whatever you can remember." he said.

"We were traveling in a semi truck for some off-brand soda company, but I wouldn't doubt that they've changed means of transportation after I got away." she said. The team nodded on the other side of the camera, all of them exchanging serious glances.

"Anything else you can think of right now?" Rossi asked. Evie bit her lip and thought about it.

"Well there was another man we traveled with. His name-" she choked off at the end of her sentence, her chest tightening. "Um, his name is Hani." she said. "He was held there against his will like me. An older indian man. They're holding his family and threatening to kill him, so... so if you find him-"

"We'll do everything we can." Hotch said nodding understandingly. With that, the video chat ended and the three of them were left in the room alone.

"I'm just going to start cross searching what they've given me so far. They have a few suspected people they think that have come into contact with the group, helping them in the general Jackson area." Garcia said.

"What can we do?" Spence asked.

"Just be your cute selves and keep me company for now." Garcia said. Spencer and Evie smiled and nodded, but Evie's soon faded away. Suddenly the only thing she could think of was the image of the butt of the gun connected with Hani's head after she had narrowly escaped. A sinking feeling of guilt rested in the pit of her stomach for leaving him. If he was dead, she didn't know what she'd do. She'd feel awful.

Evelyn felt Spencer's worried eye on her from behind, but she stayed still, gazing forward and trying to think of anything that may distract her from the terrible sensation inside of her. She watched her boyfriend roll closer to her in his rolly chair, bumping gently into her as he took a sip of coffee. She loved him dearly, but together they were a train wreck at the moment. The fact that he wasn't all there and happy wasn't helping her either. She felt like both of them being a little off at the same time was a great mixture. However, even though Spencer had been acting strange lately, her change in mood and behavior seemed to snap him into a different mindset. He was more engaged now, in her specifically. He nudged her side which made her involuntarily smile and his eyes sparkled as he watched her instead of just being glazed over and dull like he was still seeing the word as dark and hopeless. They did seem to work well like that- if Spencer was feeling especially low she'd rise up to help him back to his feet and vice versa.

Spencer nudged her again, trying to get her attention. Evie glanced over at him and gave him a forced smile. He looked concerned though, seeing straight through her face expression. Rolling behind her, Spencer secured an arm over her waist and turned her body on her chair so that she was sitting on it sideways, the back of the chair now at her side and out of his way as he wrapped his arms around her from behind. Evie leaned back into his chest comfortably, feeling him bury his face into her neck in her hair. Damn, he needed to eat some food. He just felt so fragile as he held her.

Evie closed her eyes in bliss when she felt him exhale warm air right by her ear, making her shiver. She felt him smile against her ear at this. He loved when he got any type of content response out of her. They stayed like that for a while as Garcia typed away at lightning speed, mumbling incoherent words to herself.

Unexpectedly however, Evie suddenly felt Spencer nip at the edge of her ear. She instinctively shied away but held back a giggle. He seemed to think this was amusing because he settled his head back on her shoulder only to do it again, this time holding her in place so she couldn't move away. Evie quietly laughed, gently dragging her nails across his arm that was still draped around her waist.

Spencer took another deep breath, blowing hot air around her ear making her shudder. Now this was getting to her a little more than she had anticipated. Evie closed her eyes and let out a stuttering breath as Spencer presses his lips to her ear.

"I love you." he breathed, quiet and low. Evie's breath caught in her throat. If he thought that he could make her feel better or distract her by turning her on, he was admittedly right.

I love you too. She mouthed so he could see, not wanting to bug Garcia with their couple stuff.

Spencer didn't remove his mouth from near her ear, instead she felt his tongue lightly run up the edge of her ear and his teeth lightly bite her earlobe. Evie tried to repressed the aching inside of her and the pressure between her legs but he was not making it easy, especially when he was releasing hot air against her skin every time he breathed.

Spencer continued this for a while without a word, running his tongue along her ear, occasionally nipping and kissing quietly. She knew this probably wasn't the place for it, but it felt so good. Besides, it's been weeks since she'd had anything like this.

"I'm starving, how about you guys?" Garcia suddenly spoke up, making them both jump. Spencer hurriedly pulled away from Evie enough for only his arm to be left touching her hip as Penelope spun around to look at them cheerfully, unaware of anything they'd been doing thankfully.

"Yeah, Spence." Evie said, looking over to him warningly to tell him it wasn't an option. "Why don't you go get us some breakfast?" Spencer looked at her, full knowing why she was really trying to get him out of there. She tilted her head innocently.

"Please?"

Spencer nodded.

"Okay." he answered casually, getting up to walk out. Garcia got back to her computer as Spencer leaned down next to Evie before he left, pressing his lips against her ear once again. "But I'm not done with you." he whispered quietly enough for only her to hear. Evie tried to suppress the urge to moan as she shuddered again. She didn't even have time to respond before Spencer left, closing the door behind him. She knew she was just thinking about appreciating her job and being back and such, but now she couldn't wait to get home later tonight.

Spencer continued down the busy street filled with morning traffic, a large paper bag filled with breakfast for him, Evie, and Garcia in the passenger seat of his car. He had gotten in and out of the small breakfast shop quicker than he had anticipated, and was headed back to work within a ten minute time frame. Usually it took way longer than that considering traffic downtown.

A terrible thought came to Spencer's mind as he waiting for the red light to turn green. Would he have time to run home without anything being suspicious? His hands were beginning to slightly shake again and his forehead was lightly collecting sweat. He already needed another fix.

The light did eventually turn green, and Reid urged forward slowly. He knew that he needed to make his decision sooner rather than later as the fork diving the streets leading to either the FBI offices or his apartment approached. Spence's finger tapped nervously on the wheel, his heart jumping as he jerked the car to go down the left street at the last second: the road leading home. Spencer took a deep breath, calculating the amount of time everything would take considering every factor. He'd have to make it a quick fix, not too much to prolong the high.

Shaking his head at himself, Reid sighed. This had to end soon.

Forty minutes later, Spencer finally walked in with the bag full of food from Evie's favorite cafe. She turned around in her seat to see him rushing inside looking disheveled. His hair was ruffled, his eyes were quickly looking around everywhere, and his hand nervously tapped at his side as he put the bag down on the table in the back.

"What took you so long?" Evie asked, more concerned than anything. Spencer glanced at her but then resumed taking the food items out of the bag, setting them across the surface.

"Mmm, it smells good." Garcia commented from where she was on the phone with Morgan, collecting more data.

"Uh, it was pretty packed at the cafe." Spencer said, not making eye contact with her. Evie felt her stomach drop. He was lying to her.

"Really?" she asked, playing along like she was interested in this fact. "On a Thursday?"

Spencer shrugged and finished laying all of the food out.

"They didn't have banana bread Garcia, so I got you pumpkin instead." was the only thing Spencer said.

"Perfectly fine, my Darlin'." Penelope answered, spinning around in her chair and making her way over as Evie did the same. The three of them opened their food in silence, the sound of rustling plastic wrap and crumpling paper filled the air.

"Anything else on the case?" Reid spoke up, glancing towards Evie but then turning his gaze down to his food after making eye contact. Evie eyed him suspiciously as he did, continuing despite his weird behavior.

"They think they've pinpointed a place they passed through. Maybe talk to some witnesses or even accomplices." Evie said slowly, taking a bite of her bagel after.

"They're headed over to an old gas station now." Garcia added. Reid just nodded at this information. Evie still didn't take her eyes off of him, though. She studied him, trying to see any other strange mannerisms that may give her a hint as to why he was acting so strangely.

The only other thing she did notice however, was that he was just nervously picking at his food, stirring his fork through his fruit salad and only ripping off tiny parts of his bagel to eat.

Garcia's phone rang over from where her computer sat and she jumped, putting her fork down.

"I've got to take this." she said quickly, shuffling over to her phone and sitting back down in her original seat.

"What have you got for me, gorgeous?" she asked instantly, starting a conversation with Morgan, no doubt. Evie took this opportunity to scoot her chair closer to Spencer's, putting a hand on his own to stop him from fidgeting with his food. She swatted his hand away as he just watched her, intently.

Evelyn picked up his fork and stabbed a few pieces of fruit, holding it up in front of Spencer's face.

"Open." she said sternly, looking at him straight in the eye. She wasn't going to deal with this no eating business without doing everything she could to force him into it, as bad as that sounded. Spencer looked pleadingly at her.

"Evs, I'm just not hungry. If you don't eat for a while, your stomach shrinks and-"

"Yes, I understand how that works. However, the amount you've been eating or should I say not eating, is nowhere near healthy." she interrupted him. Evie wasn't mad, just determined. She was going to deal with one problem at a time, and that started with the food.

"But-"

"Spencer."

Spencer obeyed and opened his mouth like an obedient child, looking every bit displeased. Evie smiled triumphantly and helped the food into his mouth, letting Spencer do the rest. He took the fork from her after eating the fruit, staring at her the whole time.

"You do the rest." she smiled at him, gesturing towards the rest of his food. Reid sighed and took another forkful of fruits, reluctantly eating more. Satisfied, Evie returned to eating her own bagel, but not too far in until she felt a hand on the inside of her thigh, gripping her leg gently as Spencer pulled his body closer to hers. She smiled and rolled her eyes. She'd only been back for less than two full 24 hour days and he was already getting antsy. She had to admit though, something about being kept from your boyfriend for two weeks made him that much more enticing.

Evie felt Spencer's lips on her neck, first kissing, and then nipping playfully at her skin.

"I meant eat your food, not me." she joked, putting hand in his hair. Spencer full out bit her neck at this, sinking his teeth in with a manner somewhere between gentle and rough, sucking on her flesh lightly. Evie's eyes bulged at the sudden act, her hand flying to grip his shoulder, sinking her nails in. She pulled a quick breath in, biting her lip to try and not make noise.

This seemed to satisfy Spencer enough, because he smiled and pulled back away from her, eating another forkful of food. He gestured towards her bagel.

"Hey, eat your food." he said, making her laugh. She shook her head at him, playfully kicking his foot and continuing to eat.

"What do you want me to tell them?" Evie suddenly became aware of what Garcia was saying. Spencer seemed to as well, because they both turned their gazes towards the technical analyst.

"Okay... Okay, this is good. We're doing good, okay." she said, as if to herself to convince Garcia that everything would be okay. She hung up and turned to Evs and Spence, her face a mix of worry and excitement.

"They found a gang member." She rushed the news out, looking in between both of them. "Hotch wants you and Evie down there from now on. If that's alright, he said. They're going to interrogate him tonight and he has a strategy that may involve Evie." Penelope further explained. The first thing the couple did was look at each other. Spencer raised his eyebrows at Evie, as if asking her what she thought. Evie nodded and shrugged. Anyway she could help out, she would.

"We'll go get packed then." Spencer said. "Thanks so much, Garcia."

Garcia nodded and got up to hug both of them.

"Be careful." she warned them both. They promised they would and walked out of the room, ready to try to end all of this once and for all.