"Never be afraid to raise your voice for honesty and truth and compassion against injustice and lying and greed. If people all over the world...would do this, it would change the earth."

― William Faulkner

Spencer opened the door wide for Evie to walk in. She dragged her hurriedly packed luggage behind her, looking around and observing their new hotel room in Jackson. Spencer followed behind, closing the door until it locked with a click.

"So much for taking a break." Evie mused, smiling over at Spencer who smiled back. Neither of them really minded though. If it meant them still being able to be close to one another and having the opportunity to catch Evie's captors on top of that, it was a win-win.

"What time did Hotch say he wanted us over at the station?" Spencer asked her, situating their bags in a corner by a love seat. Evie checked her phone, scrolling through Hotch's instructions that he sent them both.

"Uh... Tomorrow morning at 6."

"A.M?"

"Yeah."

Spencer nodded and tiredly rubbed his eyes. It was only nine o'clock at the moment after they had packed, gotten on the plane and drove over to their hotel. Hotch had said he didn't want Evie anywhere near the guy they'd taken in until they had tried everything they could first, both for her to be comfortable and to make sure they didn't send the interrogation in the wrong way.

"Shoot..." Evie suddenly said, looking through her suitcase. Spencer frowned and came up behind her, putting his hands on her waist.

"Hm?"

"I must have forgotten extra stuff."

"Extra stuff?" Spencer asked, confused. Evie turned to her and raised her eyebrows like he was supposed to be understanding something.

"Girl stuff, Spencer."

Spencer frowned and thought about it for a while, knowing he should probably get her code-talk by this point. Suddenly the realization hit him.

"Ohhh... Right, girl stuff."

Evie laughed as he kissed her cheek.

"I'll go get some."

Evie looked at him in surprise.

"You don't mind being seen buying tampons at the local drug store?

"It just means I have a beautiful girlfriend back at my hotel to take care of." he told her, holding her close as she smiled and blushed. He loved when he made her blush.

"Well if you insist." she said as he unraveled from her, going to grab the keys to their rental that they had until midday tomorrow.

"I'll be right back." he called over his shoulder. What she didn't see however was the way he shook picking up the keys and the frantic nervous movement he made as if extremely paranoid. His head hurt and his palms were feeling damp, a sensation he was getting much to accustomed to. On his way out, Spencer reached into his pocket and closed his hand around the little glass vile almost for comfort, the guilt hurting worst of all.

As he walked to the car, his mind was racing. Even as he started driving to the drug store he was beyond distracted with the war that raged inside of his head. She didn't deserve this, he knew that. As far as Evie knew, everything was happy and normal again, their fairytale story back on track. The fact that she was living it in lies was one of the worst things Spencer had ever brought upon someone. He had to tell her...

But he couldn't! He needed this, his body needed this, his emotional well-being. Spencer knew all about how the drug acted and how his endorphins raged as the substance spread throughout his body, but the high was something he'd never be able to describe with all of the facts in statistics in the world. Not just his consciousness craved it, his whole body did. His entire body screamed at him to stop on the side of the road and do it right now. This was completely out of control.

Spencer screeched the car to a halt. The car behind him laid on their horn as the traffic in the lane to his left whizzed by. Now there was a chorus of cars honking behind him, all of them rightfully furious about the sudden obtrusion to the flow of traffic. As cars behind him sped around him, giving him dirty looks as they passed, Spencer took a shaky hand and whipped the wheel to the right, pulling into a small restaurants parking lot, turning around and screeching his tires back onto the road and back to the hotel. This ended now.

Evie was flipping through channels looking for a reliable news station when there was a rapping at the door. She turned the TV off, vowing to see if there was any press coverage on the case they working later. She slid of the bed in her flannel pajama short and black camisole, putting on her flip flops (you never knew how dirty hotel floors were) to go answer the door.

She cautiously turns the handle- she knew it was probably just her paranoia kicking in unnecessarily, but worst case scenario situations played out in her head. What if it was Slick, waiting to take her back? Or any of his other mindless henchmen. Or... or Hani's dead body.

Evie scolded herself for her ridiculous and morbid thoughts and just opened the door. She was relieved at first to see that it was just Spencer, until she noticed his look of pure distress. He was noticeably shaking and biting his lip nervously, his eyes starting silently and pleadingly at her, his chest heaving up and down as if he just ran a marathon... or was hyperventilating.

"Oh my God." Evie took his hand instantly, putting the other on the side of his face, observing him subconsciously for any sign of physical harm. "Spence, what's wrong?"

"Um, I- Can we go inside?" he said quietly, even his voice wavering.

Evie nodded and walked backwards with her hands in his, leading him into the room to sit on the bed as the door shut behind them. She never ceased looking at Spencer even when his gaze wandered away from her own, flickering between about everything else in the room. He seemed so... distracted.

"Spencer, you're freaking me out. What is it?"

Spencer squeezed his eyes closed, taking a shuttering breath and hiding his trembling hands in his pockets. He seemed so terrified to tell her whatever it was, so she didn't want to push it. Evie put a hand on his shoulder and ran her nails gently across his collar bone, knowing what usually calmed him down. His eyes seemed to soften, but all of the other nervous and frantic mannerisms were still there.

"Spence." she whispered, getting more and more scared by the second. Oh my goodness, was he leaving her? It'd make sense. Why he was acting so weird. But he's been reminding her nearly every minute of how much he loved her and how much he needed and missed her. He'd been so much more outwardly cuddly lately, hardly letting her go let alone away from his side.

Evie tried to push that possibility down as she reached for the hand that was fidgeting in his jacket pocket. She found his fingers shoved deep in his pocket and wrapped her arms around them, pulling his hand out for her to hold. His hand appeared with something enclosed though: something small and glass.

Evie frowned at the small object and then frowned up at Spencer who still refused to make eye contact with her. He held his hand out a little closer for her though, Evie guessing that she was supposed to see what it was that he held.

Evelyn took his hand in one of hers, gently prying his fingers off the small glass bottle with the other. As she did, Spencer looked even further away, hiding even his face from her. Evie took a deep breath and picked up the vile of clear liquid. It had no label on it, but she didn't need one. He had told her about his past with this, about his past with drugs.

Evie was taken back to the time they sat on their living room couch together, going through a bunch of case files Spencer kept in boxes in the coat closet. They were from all of his most memorable cases, whether they had worked out to be the most successful or even the most traumatizing. Most people she knew would want to forget the terrifying cases, but he hated forgetting things. He told her that they had shaped who he was and why would he want to lose that?

One of the folders she had looked through had been one that Spencer warned her about before she had even touched it. It was marked "Tobias Hankel" and was a bit more beat up than the others, looking a bit older. Spencer had just stayed silent next to her the entire time, watching her face as she read through the report that went through every detail of Reid's kidnapping. The way this Tobias had taken him to a cabin, tied him to a chair, hit him, deprived him, forced drugs in his system; Dilaudid to be exact. All the way up to when he had killed Spencer with an overdose, only to bring him back a moment later.

Just thinking about reading through that case made Evie sick now, and she wasn't even there to watch the live footage as the rest of the team had. One thing that wasn't included in the report however, was how even after they got Spence back, he had remained on the drugs, his body already accustomed to the high it brought.

When Spencer had told her all about his journey to getting off, he had looked so ashamed in himself, hardly able to look at her. She did everything she could to assure him that it didn't bother her though. It surprised her, that much was true. The whole concept was so out of character for him, but as she reminded him, everyone made mistakes here and there. He couldn't be a perfect statistic formulating robot all the time, there was bound to be hiccups along the way. Not to mention he hadn't asked to be forced into Dilaudid, anyway. Reid had been out of the drug scene for years before he even met Evie as well. She'd never hold it against him.

But now, it all made sense. His strange behavior, and even why he did it clicked in her mind. He had thought she died. It wasn't surprising to think that he turned to Dilaudid in order to cope. Who knew how'd she cope if she lost him. This idea didn't seem to help the way Spencer himself felt about the situation though. He hadn't looked at her since they entered in the room and his breathing was so much more rapid than normal. She wasn't made though. Not in the slightest.

Evie just took the bottle and set it on the night stand, sighing and taking Spencer's wrist in her grasp. She pulled him lightly so that he pulled himself further onto the bed enough to be sitting next to her as she laid against the headboard. Evie put an arm around his shoulders and pulled him into her. Spencer took a stuttering breath and buried his face into her neck as Evs wrapped him in a tight embrace, rubbing his back.

"Spencer?"

"Are you mad?" he instantly asked.

"No, I'm not mad."

He relaxed in her arms a bit, his muscles softening but his body still shaking and his breath still irregular. Maybe his symptoms weren't just from being nervous enough to tell her.

"Are you high right now?"

"No." he said almost silently, shaking his head brushing his hair against her skin. Then, "Evie I'm so, so, so sorry. You deserve so much better, I started again when I thought I had lost you and then I just couldn't stop. I'm so so sorry." He rushed out so that it seemed like one long hurried sentence. Evelyn just held him tighter, kissing his head.

"I know, it's okay."

Evie traced circled on his back, realizing he still was wearing a coat. She helped him take it off and throw it aside for the time being, Spencer falling back into her arms with only his thin dress shirt now. In this way, she felt the trembles of his body even more.

"Are you in withdrawal?" she asked, finally realizing what this was. She felt him hesitantly nod.

"Going into it. It just gets worse from here." he whispered nervously. Evie kissed all down his neck, thankfully feeling him relax just a bit.

"I'll be right her with you." she assured him. Evie knew what withdrawals usually entailed, just not to what extent. She imagined they were nothing less than painful, however.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you at first."

"You did eventually, Spence. I appreciate that, at least."

"I'm sorry."

"I know, baby." she said to him, running her fingers through his hair. "You are going to see someone about this though."

Spencer sighed in disappointment.

"I'm serious, Spencer. It's obviously not easy to get off this on your own. It will only help you."

Spencer nodded and pressed his face further into the crook where her shoulder met her neck. Evie kissed his head again and held him as he tensed and moaned quietly in pain.

"I love you." she whispered.

"I love you too." He answered back, although a bit strained.

"We'll get through this, I promise. Then we'll catch those dicks from Boston and everything will be downhill from there." she said, not only just to comfort her boyfriend, but because she honestly believed it.

"Okay." he whispered, tensing once more again the pain. Evie sighed and rested her chin on top of his head. This was going to be a long night.

As time progressed, it did in fact get worse. They had to move to the bathroom because Spence had quietly and politely suggested that he may in fact throw up at some point. So this left them on the bathroom floor an hour later, Evie with her arms wrapped protectively around her Spencer who was sweating with violent tremors at this point, his breathing fast and rapid through clenched teeth.

"Drink more water." she told him, holding up the glass of water she had poured for him a while ago. Spencer took the glass in his hand the best he could, the water splashing around in the cup from the shaky grip he had on it. Evie kept a hand on it too, just to keep it a bit more steady as Spencer took a few more sips before pressing his forehead against his bent knees again, his face twisted in pain.

An hour later it was starting to get better... maybe. Evie couldn't really tell as the time melded together. She wished she could do so much more for him, but overtime she asked he told her there was nothing really left to do but wait unfortunately. That is, until he was overtaken by pain and longing for Dilaudid again, groaning and clenching his fists.

By one in the morning, the shaking had gone down significantly and Spencer's awareness was returning since before, he was in so much pain that he could nearly think straight. Evie still was by his side as she remained the whole night, soothing him the best she could. His breathing was now calm and soft, getting slower and slower as if he was falling asleep against her shoulder where he now laid.

"Are you okay to move to the bed?" she asked him quietly. Spencer nodded tiredly and Evie helped him stand, keep her arms around him to guide him back into the bedroom to lie on the bed. After he was situated under the covers, already a dead-weight in the bed, Evie washed her face and turned out the lights, crawling in bed with him. She ran a hand up his back since he was laying on his stomach, realizing he still was wearing his dress shirt and work pants. Sighing, Evie snaked her hands under his stomach and tried to unbutton what seemed like an infinite amount of buttons. She was amazed that he still was sleeping. He did disappear the other night, no doubt to shoot more drugs into his system but that mixed with all of the sleep deprivation from when she was gone was enough to knock out anyone pretty good, she guessed.

Evie lifted each of his arms to slide the sleeves off, grunting when she struggled to lift his torso to throw his shirt aside. Once she did, she undid his pants zipper and slid them off, leaving him in his boxers. Evie lazily let his pants drop to the ground, promising herself that she'd pick them up tomorrow when she wasn't quite as exhausted.

Pulling the covers over herself, Evie wrapped her arms around his bare chest, pulling him into her. She ran her hands along the ridges of his slightly visible ribs- nothing drastic, however. He'd always been skinny even before he had stopped eating when she went missing. She gently scraped her nails across his chest making him shiver in his sleep. Smiling and kissing his neck, she cuddled up to him and held Spence close, finally feeling that wall between them fall away.