AN: Thanks to all those who reviewed. I should have responded to all of them, but if I didn't, then I apologise.
I'm rather proud of this story with the current stats being: over 100,000 words, 14 chapters, 335 reviews, 106,000 hits, 83 C2s, 519 favs, and 707 alerts. I also have new ideas that I'll either put up as a challenge or try it myself in the future, so check my profile for them. All reviews/criticism are welcomed as usual. And now, with out further ado, I give you chapter 14 of Naruto: Shadows of the Mind.
'THOUGHTS'
LINEBREAKS=CHANGE OF SCENE/POV
Chapter Fourteen
Six months later
'Remember, be firm yet fluid. If you hold the brush too rigidly, your seal matrix will be brittle and easily shattered if even the slightest thing goes wrong. But if you hold it too loose, the seal will be sloppy and easily lead to mistakes. And if there is one thing you cannot afford to do, it's to make a mistake with a seal. The last thing you want to happen is for a seal to go wrong, because you'll never be able to accurately predict what will happen when it does. You might just singe your hand, or you might turn everything in a twenty mile radius into a smoking crater.' Genma's voice echoed through Naruto's head as he carefully drew his first customized seal onto his kitchen table.
The reason Genma's voice was only in his head should be rather obvious. He wasn't there. And he'd definitely be pissed as hell if he knew that Naruto was working on seals unsupervised. Still, that wasn't going to stop Naruto from getting a little revenge.
The seal he was working on was little more than a small remote control storage seal. Really, the only difference between his seal and the standard storage seal was a small addition that should allow him to activate it from the other side of the table.
His plan was fairly simple. Anko had been showing up uninvited for almost every meal that Kurenai was there for. Then, without asking, she'd take whatever she wanted. So now, he was going to send a message.
The next time she tried to mooch off of him, he'd just activate the remote seal and poof, there goes her food. A little childish perhaps, but then again, he was only six. Well, seven after tomorrow, but still.
Pausing in his work, Naruto scanned his "remote" seal for any flaws of imperfections. When he found none, he prepared the final few steps, only to be interrupted when a familiar voice called out from his door.
"Naru-chan? It's me." came Kurenai's voice, sending him into a panic as he scrambled to cover up his seal and hide any evidence of his actions. The last thing he wanted was for her to find out what he was up to. Especially since she was a snitch.
"Hey, Kurenai." he called back as he finished hiding his work. "What are you doing here? I thought you had a mission today?"
His relationship with the crimson-eyed woman had improved tremendously over the half year they had known each other. She had been nothing but kind to him, outside of the occasional scolding on his language, and had established herself to be a very calm and considerate person.
She always had a kind word or some good advice whenever Naruto struggled with one of his self-taught abilities such as math or history.
The first sign of the improvement in their relationship was the day Naruto woke up to the sound and smell of breakfast being cooked and instead of his usual angry reaction, he had smiled.
In short, the only person Naruto was more comfortable with than Kurenai, would be Yoshino.
Shaking his head, he asked "Sorry Kurenai, what did you say?"
The Chunin pouted slightly and playfully tweaked his nose. "I swear Naru-chan, sometimes you have the shortest attention span."
"Yeah yeah, whatever." Naruto muttered dismissively. "So how come you're not on your mission?"
"Well, if you were paying attention the first time," Kurenai said with her hands on her hips, "you'd know that I didn't want to leave without saying, Happy Birthday!"
Naruto could only blink in surprise. Generally speaking, he didn't really celebrate his birthday much. Nor did anyone else really. The Old Man used to come around and spend the day with him and give him a present or two. Yoshino would always wish him a happy birthday and give him a few books and games.
But that was about it. His birthday was basically the same as any other day to him, so he was confused as to why Kurenai was making such a big deal out of it.
"Ok." Naruto said slowly, sending Kurenai a look expressing his incredulity. "Is that it? Shouldn't you be getting ready for your mission or something more, I don't know, important?"
He was surprised when she gaped at him before wrapping him in a tight hug. "What could possibly be more important than wishing you a happy birthday?" she asked with something in her voice. If he had to guess, he would have called it sadness, though that didn't make sense. It's not like she had anything to be sad about. "After all, it's not everyday you turn seven."
Raising an eyebrow, Naruto pointed out, "No, just tomorrow."
She snorted and pulled back to glare at him playfully. "All right mister smarty pants. As I was saying, I wanted to talk to you about something before I left."
Wondering what could be so important that she couldn't wait until tomorrow, he nodded and led her to sit on the couch. For some reason, Kurenai seemed oddly nervous as she sat next to him. He stared at her expectantly, silently inviting her to start.
"Naruto, how do you feel about me?" Kurenai asked slowly.
"Eh?" he asked in confusion. 'What does she mean "how do I feel about her"?' Naruto frowned for a moment, before coming to the only conclusion he could. 'Ah…so that's what this is about…strange…six months ago, this would have been exactly what I wanted. Now I can't help but feel a little disappointed.' "You don't have to do this you know." he said as he got up from the couch and stared at her.
"What do you mean, Naru-chan?" Kurenai asked in confusion, causing Naruto to sigh and shake his head.
"No one's making you come back here." he explained. "If you don't want to be around me anymore, then just don't. There's no need for this round about conversation."
"Wha-no!" Kurenai said quickly as she moved to kneel in front of him. "That's not what this is about at all! In fact, it's the complete opposite of that."
Blinking, Naruto thought about what she said for a moment before uncertainly asking, "You…want to move in with me?"
This time it was Kurenai's turn to blink before smiling gently. "Not exactly." the crimson-eyed Chunin took a deep breath before continuing. "Look Naruto. I really enjoy spending time with you, so much so that I can't imagine not seeing you anymore. You and Anko are like family to me. So I'd like to ask you something. It's a very big request on my part, so I want you to wait until I come back to make a decision. OK?"
He could only stare at her for moment before asking dryly, "You want me to agree to consider a major request that you haven't even asked yet?"
"I'm sorry." Kurenai said sheepishly. "I guess I'm a little nervous. What I'm trying to say is, I want you to move in with me. As a family."
…
…
"Naruto?" Kurenai asked worriedly.
For his part, Naruto was simply staring at her, seemingly devoid of emotion. She…wanted to adopt him? She might not have used that exact word, but he knew that was what she meant. Why? What could she possibly hope to gain from this? He vaguely took note of her calling his name, drawing him out of his thoughts long enough to say. "You should probably get going. You don't want to be late for your mission."
He watched with a sort of detached interest as Kurenai looked at him with a worried expression. "Go on. I'll think about it while you're gone." he promised as he gestured for her to leave. After a moment, she gave him one last smile and left, leaving him to his thoughts.
For a moment, he just stood there, staring at nothing as his thoughts raced back and forth. He felt a great surge of happiness and fulfillment that someone wanted him, that Kurenai wanted him, that she saw him as someone worthy. But at the same time, he could still hear their voices echoing in his head. 'We care about you and want to help you… you deserve a family and we would like to be the ones to give you one…'
Naruto grabbed at his head, trying to shut out their voices. 'Kurenai's not like them… she's different, she's never hurt me!'
'Yet…' a tiny voice made itself known.
'No, no she's had plenty of chances to if she wanted. And she kept my secrets from the Old Man…' Naruto argued to himself, unsure as to who he was trying to convince.
'How do you know…she's a kunoichi of Konoha…she answers to the Old Man…how can you trust her…she's no different than Yoshino…'
'Yoshino?' Naruto thought confusedly. 'Yoshino's my…friend… she wants to help me-'
'Does she?' the other voice interrupted. 'You never met her until the Old Man brought her to you. You can't trust her…you can't trust anyone…'
"Your wrong!" Naruto snarled angrily. "I can trust Yoshino! Yoshino is one of the nicest people I've ever met!"
'Why? Because she hasn't tried to kill you yet?' the voice pressed.
Naruto shook his head back and forth angrily. What was he doing? Why was he arguing with a voice in his head? He wasn't crazy, and even if he was, he didn't need the approval of some figment of his imagination.
Scoffing at his foolishness, he returned to his table to finish his seal. Once there, he grabbed his brush and dipped it in his fresh ink. He wasn't sure how long he sat there with his brush poised before realizing he'd just been sitting there lost in his thoughts. Growling at himself, he determinedly focused on his work and started inking the last few parts.
Ten minutes later, he again found himself just sitting there, staring at the table without even seeing it. Snarling in frustration, he abandoned his work and paced back and forth in his living room.
What should he tell Kurenai when she got back? Should he agree or refuse? How would she react to either response? What if he said yes and it turned out she didn't really want to adopt him, but asked expecting him to say no? Or what if she really did want to and he refused? How would she react to that? What if he drove her away by saying no? What if things changed between them because of his answer?
What if…what if it was a trap? Right on top of that thought came another one. What if she wasn't supposed to be here?
Every "baby-sitter" he'd ever had was introduced to him by the Old Man. Kurenai just showed up on her own, claiming to be his new "caretaker". Come to think of it, he'd never seen her and the Old Man here at the same time. Would Yoshino know?
Naruto froze for a moment as his thoughts raced, before scrubbing both hands through his hair and pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes.
"Where's Yoshino when you actually want to talk about your feelings?" he muttered angrily as he starting pacing again only to freeze once more. 'Maybe…maybe I should go find her? She always did say I was welcome at her house…and it's her job to help me anyway, so it's not like she can complain.'
Glad to have finally decided on something, Naruto quickly grabbed his things and left for the Nara compound. He walked five steps before realizing something. He didn't know where she lived.
Smacking his forehead, Naruto hurried back into his apartment and proceeded to tear it apart, looking for the directions Yoshino had made sure to leave for him, in case he ever "felt the need to talk". After tearing apart his room and kitchen, he finally found the sheet stuffed under the cushions of the couch. Looking it over quickly, Naruto once again left, throwing on his Henge and Genjutsu as usual. 'I've got to think up a name for that…' he thought absently as he made way down the street, unaware of his -by now- very skilled and prepared ANBU watchers.
Following a number of wrong turns and violent curses, Naruto finally found himself standing outside a small, traditional looking compound on the edge of the forests. Walking in, he quickly headed for the largest house and knocked insistently on the paper door, dropping his disguises as he did so.
After pacing anxiously for a few seconds, he knocked even harder on the door, just barely holding back from slamming his fists on it.
He relaxed slightly when he heard a familiar "troublesome" before the door slid open. Expecting to see his other…friend… Naruto was surprised to find a scarred adult standing in front of him.
Glancing over him quickly, Naruto took note that the man was dressed in simple shinobi pants and a fishnet shirt of all things. He stood about five foot nine, and looked kind of like an older Shikamaru, possessing the same hair color and style. Naruto's eyes couldn't help but be drawn to the two scars, one of which slanted across his right cheek in a manner similar to Naruto's. The second was roughly parallel to the other, only it was positioned above the man's right eye.
"Can I help you?" the man asked gruffly, not even bothering to stifle his yawn.
"I need to see Yoshino." Naruto said quickly.
"She's not here." the man replied just as bluntly.
"Where is she!" Naruto demanded while trying to resist tugging at his hair in frustration.
"Shopping probably. Is that a problem?" the man replied as he gazed at him in a calculating manner.
"Yes it is!" Naruto practically shouted. "What's the point of telling me I can talk to her if she's not around the one time I need to!"
"Well, she does have a life of her own you know. Did you ever think about that?" the man pointed out nonchalantly.
"But this is important!" Naruto snarled angrily. "Can't you call her back or something?"
"I could." the man admitted with another yawn. "But that would just be way too troublesome."
Naruto couldn't help it. Everything was coming at him all at once, and the pressure just kept building and building and he needed to let it out somehow. So he threw back his head and screamed all of his anger and frustration and all of his other boiling emotions. When he finally ran out of breath, the man asked, "Feel better?"
For the first time in his life, Naruto seriously considered all the possible ways he could murder someone and get away with it.
Luckily, or unluckily depending on your point of view, a familiar face came along before he could try anything.
"Tou-san, what's with all the screaming?" Shikamaru asked as he stepped up next to his apparent father. "Naruto? What are you doing here? This is like, the first time I've ever actually seen you outside your apartment."
"Shikamaru!" Naruto exclaimed excitedly -not desperately no matter what anyone claimed. "I need to talk to Yoshino, do you know where she is?"
"Eh? I think she went shopping again, though I can't see why you'd want to talk to that troublesome woman." Shikamaru answered lazily.
Gritting his teeth, Naruto said "Yes, I already know that part. Do you know where she is or how to get her back here?"
"Maybe, but that would just be way too troublesome." Shikamaru asked as he and his father actually yawned in synch.
'I'm sure Yoshino wouldn't mind if I killed them. Besides, how would she know it was me? If I close my eyes, then that means there are no witnesses.' Naruto thought angrily as his hand twitched to his hidden kunai.
"I take it you know this boy, Shikamaru?" the scarred man asked curiously.
"Yeah, he's one of those crazy people Kaa-san works with, but we're not supposed to call him that." Shikamaru replied.
Twitching, Naruto wondered if it was possible to make someone swallow a shuriken.
"Well, no point just standing here all day." the man grumbled as he turned back into the house. "Shikamaru, take care of your friend."
"Fine." the smaller Nara drawled as he beckoned Naruto inside.
Grumbling under his breath, Naruto followed Shikamaru through the house and into what appeared to be a living room. It was a rather strange sight for him, since he'd never really been inside a traditional home before. There were some weird looking cushion things where chairs would normally be, situated around an incredibly short table. In fact, he was fairly certain he had yet to see an actual chair in the place. Not to mention the paper walls and sliding doors were certainly strange to him.
He was broken from his thoughts a moment later.
"Well, have a seat. We might as well get in some shogi while you wait." Shikamaru told his reclusive friend as he took his own seat.
Really, when he'd heard Naruto screaming of all things at his front door, he'd thought he was dreaming. In the year that he had known the older boy, Shikamaru had never seen him outside of his apartment. So it was with mild excitement that he had gone to see if Naruto really was at his doorstep. Which had in fact, turned out to be true, as he was greeted by an agitated Naruto who was desperately demanding to know where his Kaa-san was.
As his friend sat down and the game got under way, he noticed something. Naruto was distracted. He was constantly staring at nothing, or cocking his head to the side as if listening for something. Needless to say, the first game ended rather quickly. So did the second. By the third game, he could no longer ignore just how troublesome his friend was being. 'I wonder what's got him so worked up? I mean, he actually left his apartment. And he came here! I don't think he's ever come looking for Kaa-san in the last three years. So what changed? What could affect him this much?'
Finally unable to keep his curiosity to himself, Shikamaru casually drawled, "So what's going on?"
Naruto jerked in surprise and stared at him for a moment before asking, "What are you talking about?"
Shikamaru sent him an irritated glare before clarifying. "Why do you need to see Kaa-san so bad? It must be pretty huge to get you to come all the way here."
"Why do you care? Looking to follow in your mommy's footsteps and be a counselor?" Naruto sneered, though Shikamaru could tell that his heart wasn't in it.
"No, but I am going to be a ninja, so I'll still work with a lot of crazy people." Shikamaru retorted with a yawn. "And I'm asking because your game sucks. More than usual I mean." He added that last barb in hoping to rile Naruto up a little, but instead of rising to the challenge the boy just stared at him with an unreadable expression on his face before turning his attention back to the game.
Sighing to himself, Shikamaru glumly stared at the board before making his own move. Not a second later, Naruto suddenly said, "Kurenai wants to adopt me."
Shikamaru blinked in surprise. "Oh. Well, that's…great?" he half said, half asked. Obviously Naruto felt otherwise, why else would he be here?
Naruto nodded once before saying, "At least, I think she does."
"…You think she does?" he asked incredulously. "Did she ask you?"
"Yeah." Naruto confirmed as he slowly rubbed a shogi piece back and forth between his fingers.
"Then why do you only think she wants to?" he asked in confusion.
"It's…complicated." the older boy answered vaguely as he ran a hand through his hair.
'Of course it is.' Shikamaru thought in exasperation. "Ok…so what's the problem? Do you not want her to adopt you? Or is there something else?"
He was met by silence for a few minutes before Naruto tilted his head up and stared at the ceiling. After sighing, Naruto slowly asked. "What if I told you that the Sandaime Hokage wants me dead? What if I told you that the Anbu have watched me in the past, and that people have tried to kill me in the street?" Naruto said all of this in a coldly indifferent voice. Bringing his eyes down from the ceiling, the blond continued. "What would you say if I told you that?"
Shikamaru struggled to meet those suddenly cold, ancient eyes and bit down on his instinctive response of "I'd say that you were crazy" and instead seriously considered the question. Could those things be true? Sure, Naruto had those scars and something bad obviously happened to him in the past to make him...well...him. But how did it tie into the situation with Kurenai? Did Naruto think that she was an assassin? Or was he perhaps, trying to protect her? He just didn't know enough about the situation to come to a conclusion.
So instead, since Naruto opened up to him about his past -sort of- he decided that he should at least return the favor somewhat. "What would you say, if I told you that while my Kaa-san was pregnant with me, my crazy Ojiisan secretly gave her experimental drugs to try and enhance my mental abilities?"
Naruto stared at him for moment before saying, "I'd say that all old people are fuckers. But, that does explain why you're so good at shogi."
Shikamaru snorted and they returned to the game for a few minutes.
"So why'd he do it?" Naruto asked after a moment.
Shikamaru shrugged. "Don't know for sure. I guess he thought he was helping me and giving the clan an advantage or something. You know, that whole "the clan comes first" thing that the older generations cling to."
"So what happened to him?" the blond asked curiously.
He didn't know if he should answer or not, but he did so anyway. "Officially, he died in his sleep…but I'm pretty sure that Tou-san killed him when he found out about the drugs."
"Yeah, that sounds more likely." Naruto agreed before drifting into silence again.
After losing a few more games, his blond-haired friend stood up. "Sorry, I don't really feel like hanging out today. Maybe we can play again later." the older boy sighed and began to make his way from the room.
Shikamaru watched him leave before following after him, catching him just as he stepped outside. "Naruto!" he called bringing the boy to a halt in the doorway. "I don't really know Kurenai as well as you do…but I think you can trust her."
Naruto didn't say anything or even turn to look at him as he closed the door behind him.
Unable to just sit and wait at the Nara's, Naruto decided to return to his apartment, hoping to either come across Yoshino on the way, or at least to keep his mind off things until she showed up. Maybe he should go see the Ichiraku's? No, he wouldn't be able to eat anything even if he did. And he'd be damned if he asked Ayame for help with anything!
Unfortunately, he did not run into Yoshino on his way back. Glaring around at his mess of an apartment, Naruto went about cleaning up the mess he had made while looking for Yoshino's directions. Once again, he was disappointed when Yoshino didn't show up during this time.
Sighing, Naruto could once again feel his mind start to drift back to the bombshell Kurenai dropped on him. Shaking his head, he decided to try to work on his seal once more. Key term being tried.
He was able to finish the seal, however if he hadn't been so distracted he might have noticed several slight smudges before testing it. When he activated it, he instantly knew something was wrong. The seals glowed an eerie red and the table shook violently for a moment. 'What the-' was as far as he could think before what felt like a great burst of wind blew around him.
The table didn't so much explode per say, seeing as how there was no fire or loud noise. It would be more accurate to say that the table disintegrated from the inside out, sending shards and chunks of wood flying around the room.
Blinking in shock, Naruto glanced around the kitchen before his eyes landed on six-inch shard sticking out of the wall just inches from the side of his head. 'Holy shit…that could have killed me!' he thought in horror as he shakily stood and approached the still quivering piece of wood.
Reaching up, he cautiously grabbed the shard to stop its vibrating. Looking back around, Naruto stared at the remains of his table detachedly. About half of the table remained where it had once stood, while the other half was scattered around in broken shards and in some circumstances, pinned in the walls.
'Oh shit…I blew up my table…I blew up my table!' he thought in a growing panic. What was he going to do? He couldn't explain away why his table exploded. And when Genma found out, he'd stop teaching him about seals. Not to mention those punishments for seal experimenting.
'Calm down! Just calm down! I can fix this, I can! All I need to do is get rid of the pieces, cover up the holes and buy a new table. But I have to hurry; someone might show up at any second.' Naruto told himself. The first thing he did was pick up the remains of the table from the floor and hurriedly threw it out before returning for the rest.
Walking up to the shard that almost killed him, he gripped the shard with both hands. The shard wiggled slightly, but otherwise didn't budge.
Feeling his panic return, Naruto placed one foot on the wall for leverage and tried again. This time, the shard moved several inches…but showed signs that a part of the wall would come with it. 'Don't break, don't break, please don't break…' Naruto chanted to himself as he put all of his might into pulling. With a groan, a head sized section of the wall tore free, throwing Naruto onto the floor and knocking the wind out of him.
Staring at the hole in horror, Naruto quickly tried to reassure himself that everything was still ok. He could still cover up the hole with a poster or something, and no one would ever need to know the difference. Staggering to his feet, Naruto made to turn to the next shard, only to catch something out of the corner of his eye. Looking back at the new hole in his wall, Naruto tried to figure out what had caught his attention.
When he didn't see anything, he moved in closer to get a better look. It was dark in the hole, so he couldn't be sure but he thought he saw…was that a seal?
Getting a flashlight from a drawer, Naruto turned to the hole once again. 'Huh… what do you know… it is a seal.' he thought in wonder. But what kind of seal was it and what was it doing in his wall? Whatever it was, it wasn't anything Genma had shown him. Was it some kind of reinforcement seal to make the building stronger? Or maybe some kind of sound proofing seal so that the noise from the neighboring apartments wouldn't filter through? That would explain why it was in the wall.
Looking closer, Naruto started to feel that familiar excitement that came whenever he was studying seals with Genma. If he could figure out what this seal did and how it worked, then maybe he could impress Genma enough to get him to teach him more advanced seals.
Grinning, Naruto abandoned the clean up and quickly started to jot down what he could see of the seal onto a blank scroll. When that was done, he still couldn't figure out what it did, so he retrieved one of his kunai and started hacking at the wall to expose more of it.
Once that was done, he finished writing the rest of it down. After a moment, his grin faded as he stared at the strange seal. It didn't look like a reinforcement or a filter seal. So what did it do? He could recognize a part of the seal that detected something, and another part that measured whatever that something was. Then there was a part that kind of looked like his "remote" seal…
Naruto felt his heart stop cold as a terrible thought took hold. This seal…it kind of looked like some of the theories on "security" seals that Genma taught him. But what would one of those seals be doing in his wall? After all, the Old Man had said that no one had lived here in a long ti-
"No…no, no, no, that's not possible…" Naruto muttered in horror as his eyes darted around the walls of his apartment. "No, it's just a fluke, just something the last guy that lived here did, it doesn't mean anything…"
Grabbing his kunai, Naruto ran to another shard in his wall, and using the kunai began digging it out. Once it was free, he grabbed the flashlight and shined it into the hole. Nothing. Running to the next shard, Naruto repeated the process again and again, always with the same results, until only one shard remained.
By this time, he had mostly calmed down and convinced himself that it was a fluke. The Old Man probably didn't even know the seal was there either. After all-
There. Right on the very edge of the hole, he probably wouldn't have even seen it if he wasn't looking for it. Hacking up and away from the hole, he slowly exposed another seal. Only this one was different. Parts of it were similar to the other one, while the rest was something completely different.
'No…no…no, no, nononononono! This can't be!' his mind raced as he wildly took his kunai to the walls of the living room, uncaring of the damage he did to both himself and the apartment.
Slowly, over the course of two hours, Naruto exposed a seemingly vast array of seals that covered his apartment. They were in the walls, under the floorboards, around the door, even in the ceiling!
He had been a rat in a cage for the last three years and he didn't even realize it. 'Oh God…what does the Old Man know? Has he just been toying with me this entire time? Was…was Yoshino in on it? …Was Kurenai?' These thoughts and more ran through his head as he collected his weapons, money, and scrolls as he prepared to abandon Konoha. He didn't have a clue where he would go, but he couldn't stay here. There would be no way to hide that he had found the seals, and now that he knew that the Old Man probably knew all his secrets, he couldn't take the risk of staying. But he would come back. He'd come back and find his answers and then he'd deal with the Old Man and Kurenai…
'Wait a minute… Kurenai…why would they move me from one cage to another? Why go through the trouble of sealing Kurenai's apartment and get her close to me when they already had me right where they wanted me? Maybe…maybe she doesn't know? Maybe she doesn't know about any of this…' Thinking frantically, Naruto came to a decision. It was crazy, it was dangerous and stupid, but he had to know. Was it all a lie? She wanted his answer by tomorrow, so that meant that her apartment would have to already be sealed today. So he would go check. If her apartment was sealed, then she was in on it and he'd make her pay for her betrayal. But if she wasn't then maybe, just maybe, he could still trust her.
Oh, he knew he wasn't being even remotely rational. The rational thing to do would be to just bug out and call it even. To forget about finding his answers, and about Kurenai, and Yoshino, and Shikamaru. But he just couldn't. He needed to know. It was his sole driving force, and the only way he'd ever have peace.
So he made his way towards Kurenai's apartment, using the dango place that Anko loved as a reference point. Once there, he made his way up to Kurenai's apartment, only to find an obstacle that he didn't expect. The door was locked.
Hearing the sounds of a hammer, he walked around the corner of the hallway and saw an open door. Looking in, he saw a small group of men working away. Having an idea, Naruto returned back to Kurenai's door.
Glancing around and seeing no one, he drew his kunai, tried to time it to the hammering down the hall, and began hacking at the wood around the doorknob. Pausing after the first few strikes, he listened for the sounds of anyone approaching. When he heard nothing, he hacked at the door a few more times before pausing again. Still nothing. He continued this process again and again, halting only a few times when somebody approached or left.
After close to thirty minutes, he finally weakened the wood enough to wiggle the doorknob free and let himself into the apartment, trying to replace the doorknob as best as he could.
Looking over Kurenai's apartment for the first time, he tried to find any signs as to where any seals might be hidden. Tearing apart his own apartment had been pretty tiring and he had torn his hands up pretty bad as well. He had patched his hands up as best as he could, and had put on some gloves when breaking into Kurenai's apartment, but he still didn't want to drag this out any longer than necessary. 'If I was hiding a bunch of seals, where would I put them?' Naruto thought to himself as he gazed over Kurenai's apartment.
Despite only being one room bigger than his own, the layout of Kurenai's apartment was completely different from his, so he couldn't really guess where any seals might be hidden. 'Then again, I don't really need to find them all. Just one will prove that she's…' Shaking his head, Naruto decided to start with the living room and got to work hacking away at the walls.
Kurenai sighed as the first few raindrops began to fall just as Konoha's walls came into view. She had been pleasantly surprised when her team's mission had turned out to be far simpler than expected, allowing them to return to the village on the same day they left so long as they hurried.
During much of the return trip, she had allowed her mind to wander to Naruto and his reaction to what she said that morning. There was no doubt that she had surprised him, especially when he reacted the way he did. The problem was, she didn't know how well he had taken it. He could be a very difficult child to predict under the best of circumstances, and she'd only had a few short moments after asking before she had to leave.
Now she couldn't decide what she should do when she got back. Should she go see him when she got back? Or should she wait until tomorrow like she'd originally planned? What could she say to convince him if it was necessary?
Once they were back in the village, she vaguely acknowledged her team leader when he dismissed them and made her was back to her apartment, hoping that a hot shower and a nice cup of tea would help clear her mind.
She arrived at her apartment building without incident, and made it all the way to her door when she first noticed something was wrong. The wood around her doorknob had been hacked away and half-heartedly covered up.
Glancing around, she sidled up next to her door and drew a kunai with one hand and a flash tag with another. She didn't know who would want to break into her apartment and wait for her, but if the situation turned out to be more than she could handle, she'd use the flash tag to draw attention and hopefully, get herself some back up. Carefully nudging the door open, she was surprised to find that while her furniture had been thrown around, they were more or less undamaged.
Her walls and floor on the other hand, had been torn apart by someone, though she didn't have a clue as to what they were looking for. Checking for any signs of traps, Kurenai slowly and carefully made her way in, trying to avoid disturbing anything, or making any noise.
She had barely entered the apartment when she heard it.
Thunk
…
Thunk
…
Thunk
…
…
Thunk.
Freezing, she tried to place the sound and where it was coming from. If she didn't know better, she'd say it was the sound of a kunai hitting a training post. Frowning, she pinpointed the sound as coming from her bedroom and cautiously made her way over to the door.
Leaning against the wall by the door, she tightened her grip on her kunai and slowly moved her head just enough to see into the room. What she saw shocked her. Her room had suffered the same fate as the rest of the apartment, though that wasn't what caught her attention. It was the small blond topped ball huddled against one wall, one arm holding his knees to his chest, while the other arm brokenly raised a bloody kunai and stabbed it against the floor beside him again and again.
For a moment, Kurenai just stared at him, distantly thankful for his face being buried in his knees so he didn't notice her.
What on earth was going on? Did he tear her apartment up? And if so, then why? Was it because of what she did? Did she drop too much on him too soon with her adoption plan? Did she push him over the edge somehow? All of this and more was rushing through her head as her eyes locked on Naruto's hands, taking in the tattered gloves he wore and the blood that was easily noticeable on both hands.
"Naruto!" she gasped in horror as the blood fully registered in her mind. Dropping her own weapons, she rushed forward and knelt before the blond child who had become so important to her. Reaching out quickly but gently, she grabbed his kunai hand to halt its repetitive assault on the floor and carefully took the weapon from him and pulled the tattered glove off his hand. "What happened?" she continued as she took in the sight of his hand, half-heartedly wrapped in makeshift bandages. Grabbing his other hand, she repeated the process and was met by more bandages. Slowly unwrapping them, she took in the damage.
His hands were covered in cuts, bruises, and splinters of wood in varying degrees. Glancing at him, she saw that his head was still pressed against his knees and gently shook his shoulder. "Naruto? Can you hear me?" she asked worriedly, unsettled at the boy's unusual passiveness.
This time he slowly raised his head and met her eyes with his blue eyes that seemed evener darker and cloudier than normal. "Kurenai…" he said with an unrecognizable emotion in his voice. "There are no seals…I looked everywhere…" he trailed off as his eyes drifted to the side in thought.
'Seals? What's he talking about?' she wondered as she gently rewrapped his hands with clean bandages from her kunai pouch. "What's going on, Naruto?" she asked instead.
He continued as if he hadn't even heard her. "All this time…the seals…did…did you know? Did Yoshino? And why…why can't I find them now?"
Kurenai's mind froze up in fright for a moment. 'Surely he couldn't be talking about that seal! How did he find out about it? How did he even find out what it meant?' But then, why would he tear apart her apartment if he knew…unless he didn't.
"I assure you Kurenai, that apartment is one of the safest places in this village." The Sandaime's voice echoed in her head.
'Of course!' she thought to herself, feeling the urge to slap a hand to her forehead. 'He must have found the Sandaime's seals somehow!' "Naruto," she began slowly, unsure of the boy's mental state. "Why would you think there were seals in my apartment?"
The boy slowly brought his eyes back to hers and half stated, half asked, "You work for the Old Man?" as if that answered everything.
Masking her frustration at Naruto's roundabout answers, Kurenai said, "Of course I work for the Hokage. I am a ninja after all. But what does that have to do with anything?"
"He told you to watch me…he told you to adopt me…" Naruto trailed off as his eyes drifted away again.
"No! That's not true at all!" Kurenai said a little more heatedly than she meant to. "I asked him if I could watch you, and whether or not I adopt you is no one's business but mine and yours! I don't care if anyone else has a problem with it, so long as it's what you want!"
When Naruto turned his eyes to hers this time, they were a little less clouded, a little lighter than before. "Why?" was all he asked, yet that simply question brought her mind to a dead stop.
Despite being far more intelligent and, if she was honest with herself, jaded then other children his age, Naruto was still a child. How could she explain that she had come to love him as if he were her own son? That she felt a great surge of pride every time he mastered a subject on his own, or made a breakthrough in his Fuuinjutsu studies. That she couldn't stand the thought of him being so alone or that some nights she would find herself lying in bed, worrying about his future? How could she put all of that and more into words that he'd not only understand, but accept?
In the end all she could think to say was, "I love you." the words seemed to echo in the stillness of the apartment as the two stared at eachother.
Almost immediately, Naruto's eyes began to fill with disbelief and disgust, yet she pressed on. "No matter what anyone else says or thinks, no matter what you choose to do with your life, even if you come to hate me, I will always love you, and I'll always be proud to call you my son."
For a moment, there was only silence before Naruto spoke again. "If you love me so much, then why didn't you tell me about the seals?"
'Oh boy…' Kurenai thought to herself. That would be a tough question to answer without breaking the Sandaime's law…or his trust for that matter. Deciding to keep her answer as simple as possible, she responded with a question of her own. "If I had told you, would you have stayed in the apartment?"
Rather than answer her, Naruto narrowed his eyes and bared his teeth slightly, prompting her to continue. "Of course you wouldn't have. And that's exactly the reason why I didn't tell you. As long as you were in that apartment, you were safe. I'm not sure what you think those seals do, but they're there for your protection." When Naruto didn't say anything, she took it as a sign to continue with her explanation as to the seals purposes.
Kurenai was careful to avoid mentioning any forbidden topics, such as why Naruto warranted such precautions, throughout her explanation, though she still felt a small surge of panic when Naruto finally spoke again.
"And just why exactly, would the Old Man go to so much trouble to "protect" me?" Naruto asked vehemently.
"Because, despite what you think, Hokage-sama cares about you. Did you know that he keeps a picture of you and him from when you were very young in his desk? He always speaks fondly of you, and he's always been determined to protect you." Kurenai answered. And it was the truth to, if not the whole truth.
Yet when Naruto still didn't look convinced, she found herself speaking again, surprising both of them. "If you don't believe me, if you really think that you can't stay here, then let's leave." That certainly got his attention. Even she didn't know where this was coming from, as she'd never considered abandoning Konoha before yet her mouth just kept moving. "We can run away and live our lives in peace in another village, or another country even. If you can't be happy here then let's go where you can be!"
Naruto stared at her in complete and utter shock. Was Kurenai really suggesting what he thought she was? Abandon Konoha together? But…she's a ninja! Why would she be willing to become a missing-nin for him? Was this some kind of trick? "Why?" he asked in angry confusion. "Why would you do something like that? What about your friends and teammates? Don't they need you? How can you just leave them behind like that?"
The crimson-eyed woman just smiled and said just six words. "Because my son needs me more."
He stared at her as her words echoed through his mind. All his life, people had been pressuring him to do something, in some cases even choosing for him. The Old Man had decided that he would be adopted by the Sanadas. It was also the Old Man who decided where he would live afterwards, and that he needed a "counselor" and even who that counselor would be. The only child he ever spent any time with was decided by Yoshino, pressured by Yoshino. The closest he'd ever came to making his own decisions had been when he turned down the academy, and despite that, he couldn't help but feel that the Old Man was still trying to pressure him into it with all the shinobi in his life.
And now, this woman…this woman had offered him more choices in the last twenty-four hours than anyone else had in his entire life. She let him decide whether or not they'd become a family, and now she says she'll let him decide whether or not they even continue to live in Konoha. Who was this crimson-eyed woman, with her gentle smiles and calm laughter? Why is she doing this!
He couldn't breath, this room was too small, he was suffocating! He had to get out, he had to get out! Gasping as if he had just run a marathon, Naruto pushed past Kurenai and half ran, half stumbled out of her apartment, ignoring Kurenai's frightened "Naruto!" as he tried desperately to get outside.
Crashing through the doors and out into the pouring rain, he stumbled down the short steps and collapsed to his knees, clutching his head in agony as he desperately tried to still his mind. 'Why…why why why whywhy why!' "Why!" he screamed to the uncaring sky as he slammed his fist into the muddy ground.
Suddenly their voices returned with a vengeance. 'What's the matter, Naruto-chan?' her voice asked. 'Did one of those bullies say something to you again?' came his voice, causing Naruto to flinch. 'It's alright…it's alright because we still love you.' he continued drawing an angry growl from Naruto. 'That's right, we love you more than anything.' she added. Squeezing his eyes shut Naruto screamed again, smashing his already damaged hand into the street, shattering several bones and leaving a rather impressive dent for a child. 'You're human, no different from anyone else.' she murmured, seeming to come from right in front of him, causing Naruto to look up fearfully only to find nothing.
He looked back to the ground with a broken sob. He could see in his mind as clearly, as if it was happening right in front of him when she reached out only to pause before ruffling his hair. 'It's okay…I'm not the slightest bit afraid of you.'
'No…you really were afraid of me weren't you?' Naruto thought as he finally realized something. 'That's why one of you was always checking on me, dozens of times a day, making sure you knew exactly where I was at all times.'
'Naruto-chan, we're so proud of you…' they echoed together.
'Then why wouldn't you ever let me go anywhere?' he countered sadly.
'You're so precious, we want to keep you all to ourselves…' she answered.
'You were ashamed of me!' Naruto accused them hotly.
'That's not true…we love you…we love you so much, we would die for you!'
'Why is that all you ever said!' he mentally shouted. 'You never cared about me, you were just saying the things you thought grandparents were supposed to say!'
The Old Man's voice chose that moment to intervene. 'Your grandparents loved you more than anything else in the worl-'
"Stop it!" Naruto screamed as he clutched his head with both hands. And they did, allowing him to finally notice the woman standing behind him. Spinning around on his heels, he stared up at Kurenai, vaguely noticing that she had discarded all of her ninja gear. He wondered why everything was shaking so much as she slowly got down on her knees in front of him.
He stared at her, wanting to run, to hit her, to make her and everything else just go away and leave him alone. Instead, he found him doing two things that he hadn't done in three long years. First, he initiated a hug, lunging forward to bury his face in her lap and wrapping his arms around her waist as if she was the only thing keeping him alive. The second was even more important.
He cried. He wept so hard that it seemed as if three years of tears were pouring out all at once.
Kurenai felt her heart breaking as she watched the boy she thought of as son struggle with his demons, screaming at the sky and battering his hand on the ground. She felt completely useless, unable to help Naruto when he needed her the most. All she could do was make sure the Anbu didn't panic and that no one tried to take advantage of the blond boy.
Slowly walking towards him, Naruto finally seemed to take note of her presence as he spun around to face her. She stared into his eyes as a myriad of emotions ran across them too fast for even her to be able to make sense of. Kneeling down in front of him, she tried desperately to think of something she could say or do to help him, only to be surprised when he lunged forward and wrapped her in as tight a hug as his small body could possibly make. And then she felt the tears begin to soak her lap as the boy wept piteously.
"I wanna go home…I wanna go home…I-I don't know what to do." he sobbed out as his body shook with the power of his rampaging emotions. "I wanna…I wanna…" he couldn't finish his sentence as his sobbing became even more powerful.
Kurenai smiled sadly, as she bent her body over to give him some shelter from the rain, wrapping her own arms around his quivering body and gently stroking his hair. She whispered soothing words to him as her own tears slowly ran down her face, content to just hold her baby boy and comfort him.
Slowly, the rain lessened to a drizzle before tapering off all together. As if it was a signal, Naruto's crying slowly came to a halt as well, as the emotionally drained boy drifted off to sleep.
Wiping her own tears away, she carefully dislodged the boy and picked him up, allowing his arms to instinctively wrap around her neck and bury his face into her neck.
As she stood, she considered her options. She couldn't really take him back into her apartment due to its current state, and his apartment was probably no better. This left her three options. She could go to the Hokage, to Anko's, or to the Nara compound. The Hokage was out for obvious reasons, and Anko's place was hardly a place to take a child. 'The Nara's it is.' she thought to herself with a smile as she turned and carried her angel down the street.
Yoshino was quite panicked when they showed up soaking wet at her front door, and quickly ushered them in to a guest room where the two of them were able to dry off the still slumbering boy, dress him in some pajamas that Yoshino was able to round up and tuck him into the bed. Once that was accomplished, Kurenai gave both Yoshino and the Anbu member who showed up demanding an explanation a report, before borrowing some pajamas for herself and climbed into bed with the blond boy. She smiled happily when the boy unconsciously snuggled up to her and gripped the front of her clothes in a possessive hold as she wrapped her arms around him and watched him sleep.
She would lay there for hours, just watching him sleep, knowing full well that their lives were about to change. That they already had changed. Eventually, Kurenai kissed him on the forehead and allowed herself to drift off to sleep, snuggled up to the little boy who had become so important to her.
Translations:
Kaa-san=Mom
Tou-san=Dad
There we go, after over a month of work I finally got it out. You'll be happy to know that we're finally getting to the the more action oriented part of the story. It's been a great ride so far despite all my little setbacks. As always, any and all criticisms, reviews, suggestions, etc are welcome.