She's laughing, bobbing her head along to some stupid pop song on the radio. Glancing to her left she laughed even harder as she saw her mom lip syncing to the song, her expressions exaggerated. She loved times like these, when her mom was so happy. After her dad had left Beca seemed to turn into the parent. She made sure her mom ate and slept and showered. She cooked dinner and did the laundry, she went grocery shopping after school instead of hanging out with her friends. That lasted for over a month before she came home one day to find the curtains open and a chicken in the oven. That was almost a year ago and now, at the age of twelve, Beca was able to do all the things that other kids her age did. Not that she actually did them, but the ability was there.
She was pulled from her memories as the sound of a horn reverberated through her eardrums. There was a sudden jolt and there they were, upside down on the side of the road. The windscreen cracked and the windows shattered. Beca panicked briefly as she turned to her mother and saw blood running down the side of her face, but then she moved, mumbling something under her breath. Beca sighed with relief and reached out to touch her mother, to offer some form of reassurance. But she wasn't in the car anymore. She could see the car and hear the car, but she wasn't in it. She was across the road, looking at her mother hanging upside down, trapped by her seatbelt. She started to move towards the car, calling out to mom but as she did so, she realised that she couldn't hear her own voice. Everything else was crystal clear but she couldn't make a sound. She took a deep breath to push the fresh wave of panic away, and that's when she smelt it. Burning.
The car was on fire. The car was on fire and her mother was still inside. She watched as the flames grew, spreading quickly across the car, heading towards the front. Beca knew she was screaming, she could feel it in her throat but still no sound came from her mouth. She tried to run to the car, desperate to reach her mother before the flames did.
Her legs felt like jelly and it seemed as though every step she took was more of a stumble. She wasn't gaining any distance, no matter how hard she tried. She was shrieking now.
'Mom! Get out!' She shrieked, continuing to push forward, 'Move mom! Please, you have to move!'
But no matter how much she screamed at her, her mother didn't budge. She just hung there as the flames crept forward. Slowly, Beca saw her mother turn to face her. She watched as panic flitted across her face, and her arm twitched, her hand uncurling, stretching, as though she were trying to reach for Beca. Then all Beca could see was fire.
Beca's eyes wrenched open. She was breathing hard, her clothes sticking to her and she realised that her pillow was damp. The tears were still leaking from her eyes. She wiped the sides of her face and sat up, pushing back the covers immediately. She looked over towards Kimmy-Jin, but that girl could sleep through anything and so she took her robe and shower stuff and headed to the bathroom.
Once there she turned one of the showers on and stepped inside. She ducked under the stream of water, letting it run down her body, washing away the nightmare. She washed her hair to get rid of all the sweat and scrubbed her body clean.
She started to think about the accident. The actual one, not the version in her dreams. It was a van that hit them. The driver had swerved to avoid some animal or something and that, combined with fact he was going over the speed limit, had caused him to hit their car hard. Hard enough that they flipped and he ended up sideways. Both her and her mom had gotten out though. It had taken the firemen over an hour to get her mom out, and two more to get Beca out. Beca's door had been crushed inwards on impact, meaning it was harder to get off. This also meant Beca's arm had been broken quite badly. She remembered her mom telling the paramedics that she wouldn't get into the ambulance until Beca was out too. She told them that she wouldn't leave her daughter. At one point when Beca's arm was hurting and the noise of the firemen's tools was giving her a headache, she started crying slightly. The female paramedic who was lying in the car near her tried to comfort her but Beca just kept telling her to leave her alone. Eventually her mom convinced them to let her lie beside Beca and for the rest of her time in that car she just held onto her mother's hand, like it was her lifeline.
Beca opened her eyes, not realising she had closed them. Looking down at her hands she saw that they were beginning to wrinkle and sighed, turning off the shower. Wrapping a towel around herself she stepped out of the shower and was met with a wave of dizziness. She leaned against the cold tile of the wall as the fuzzy blackness obscuring her vision slowly disappeared. It must have been the heat of the shower, she did have it quite high. Or it could have something to do with the fact that she didn't eat dinner last night and she can't actually having lunch either….. Beca pushed that thought from her mind, telling herself that she would grab something big for breakfast to make up for it and headed back to her dorm.
'It's just two more days until the performance ladies!'
Beca wasn't really paying attention, more focused on the rolling nausea in her stomach. She had eaten breakfast, though it had only been some kind of cereal bar from the vending machine. This had been due to the fact that after her shower she became engrossed in another mix she was making and Kimmy-Jin, being the delightful person she is, didn't mention to Beca that she was leaving for class. The same one that Beca was actually taking that morning. Hence, she had been late and had to grab food between classes that day.
Rehearsal today was scheduled from 1:00 until 2:30 and since it was such a small amount of time, Aubrey wanted them to work hard and had already run the routine seven times. It was only 1:45. The group were all sitting at the moment, a rare break granted by Aubrey, however she was giving them another one of her speeches, meaning that their break, wasn't really much of a break.
'I must say I am proud of you all for what you have achieved this year, especially within these past few weeks. Though some may have worked harder than others.' This was said with a pointed look towards Beca.
She couldn't really bring herself to care though, or even to give Aubrey the 'Do I look like I give a shit?' expression that wound her up so much. The feeling in her stomach didn't seem to want to go away any time soon, it actually seemed to be getting worse. She squeezed her arms slightly over her stomach, as if pressure would help to supress the feeling, like it did with cramps. This made it ten times worse however and so she let her arms drop to her sides, holding tight to the seat of her chair and breathing deeply. She was trying to do it subtly, because the last thing she needed today was an interrogation. However, fate seemed to really hate her because a very loud, accented voice called out just then.
'You alright there, Shawshank? You look a little paler than usual.'
Everybody turned to face her at that point, even Aubrey stopped speaking to stare at Beca. She looked up at the group, shifting uncomfortably and all the while trying to avoid looking into those bright blue eyes that always seemed to make her want to tell someone. Tell them about the dreams that keep her up every night, the reason she stumbles when she walks and why she's always so damn tired.
She realised that everyone was still staring, waiting on an answer. So she decided to play it innocent.
'Really?' She said, furrowing her eyebrows as though she was genuinely confused. 'I feel fine, so I'm not really sure what's going on with that.'
She added a slight smile at the end, an attempt to make her lie more believable. Though as the rest of the group turned away, satisfied with her answer, she stupidly let her gaze slide slightly to the left. Chloe looked anything but satisfied. In fact she looked kind of annoyed and when Beca made eye contact with her, her eyebrow arched into her hairline. Beca tore her eyes away and looked towards the front, feeling as though that were a much safer option. However Aubrey had been watching Chloe and, in seeing her expression, mirrored it with one of her own. Meaning Beca was looking into the second set of irritated and seemingly disapproving eyes within the space of ten seconds.
She took to staring at the back of Lilly's head, refusing to look up, even when Aubrey cleared her throat before beginning to talk.
'Well, I would say that our break has been long enough. Let's get back to work shall we?'
A series of groans echoed through the hall as the Bellas got to their feet. Beca groaned too, though hers was more from actual pain than anything else. She was grateful for the fact that the routines were more or less a second nature by now, because for the rest of practice Beca had to pay practically all of her attention to fighting the rising nausea while avoiding two sets of curious eyes.
'Let's hear it again for the amazing Barden Bellas!' The Dean called out to crowd of students, as the group of girls left the stage after their last routine.
Once backstage, Beca was pulled into the excited circle of jumping, shrieking girls. The students' applause was loud enough to cover any sound the girls made and so Aubrey allowed the Bellas to carry this on for over a minute before signalling to them to quiet down. She led them through the exit and out onto the grounds where all the girls immediately started shrieking again. All except Beca that is, who stood awkwardly off to the side, an arm wrapped around her stomach.
In the past two nights combined she had managed to get roughly twelve hours sleep. Mostly due to Amy's alcohol mix. A vile tasting mixture of God knows what alcohol, which always managed to knock Beca flat out, usually resulting in her being unable to remember the events of the previous night. It really helped to keep the nightmares at bay, but Beca refused to become dependent on alcohol to fix her shit and so only used it in times of dire need. Such as when the Bellas had a performance. God knows she didn't need a reason for Aubrey to be pissed at her right now, she had way too much to deal with as it was.
Her thoughts trailed off as she was pulled tight against someone, squeezing all the air out of her, and almost squeezing out the contents of her stomach. Which, to be fair, wasn't much. Beca was relieved that she didn't empty that carton of yogurt all over the person hugging her, and was even more relieved when she realised it was Chloe. If that had happened then there was no way she would get out of the questions the redhead always seemed to have.
Chloe was still holding on tightly and didn't seem to want to let go, so Beca wrapped her arms around Chloe's waist and tightened her hold ever so slightly. Chloe was the one person that Beca really let hug her like this. Yeah, Aubrey and she had a nice moment after their performance at Nationals but Aubrey had let go rather quickly and disappeared into the group. At the time Beca had been confused. The hug had felt nice to her, even though she wouldn't ever admit it, and she wasn't sure why Aubrey had pulled away. Though if it was to go hug Chloe she would understand, because right now, pressed against Chloe, Beca was starting to squirm. Chloe's body was pressed right up against Beca's and she was getting a little warm. She blushed hard as she realised her thought weren't exactly PG at the moment and to prevent herself from doing something stupid Beca took her hands away from Chloe's waist, hoping to signal that the hug was over, on her end at least.
Thankfully Chloe took the hint and unwrapped herself from Beca, giving her a huge smile as she pulled away.
'You hugged me.' She said, amusement in her tone.
Beca raised her eyebrow as if to say 'So?' and challenging Chloe explain.
'Beca, the I have no emotions badass, hugged me.' Chloe said, her smile growing even bigger.
'Well, technically you hugged me.' Beca pointed out, raising her eyebrow at Chloe's glee.
'Yeah, but you hugged me back. I know you'll never admit it, but you liked it Beca. You liked a hug.' Chloe announced rather loudly, causing a few of the Bellas to turn their heads.
'You're insane.' Was all Beca said as she made her way over to the group, Chloe following behind like an eager puppy.
'Well, congratulations everyone, you all did wonderfully. Now, there are no rehearsals until Monday. I think you all deserve a break before we start to work on the next routines.' Aubrey declared.
Three days. The Bellas had three days before having to step inside the gym again. Beca planned on sleeping as much as she could and working on her mixes. Avoiding pretty much everyone went along with those plans, so she was pretty happy. No one to ask questions about the bags under her eyes or the weight she had lost. She was home free for the weekend.
'Let's have a sleepover!'
Wait, what? Beca prayed to all that was mighty that Stacie had not actually uttered those four words. However, once again, fate just wasn't on her side. All the other Bellas thought it was great idea, even Aubrey agreed. Chloe seemed to especially agree as she said,
'We can have it at mine and Aubrey's apartment. It's off campus, so any noise we make won't disturb anyone.'
Everyone uttered some form of agreement and they all turned to look at Beca, realising that she hadn't said a word. She grimaced slightly.
'Guys, I….' She looked into deep blue eyes, wide and expecting. She sighed, closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose.
'I guess I'm in.'
Cheers broke out from some of the girls, including Chloe, who rushed to hug Beca again.
'Oh my God! It's gonna be so much fun!' She squealed, directly into Beca's ear.
Beca winced and sighed slightly as the redhead bounced away to start making plans with the girls. What the hell had she gotten herself into?
Okay, so I keep forgetting how to do stuff on here and it is getting so annoying. Anyways, I hope you like the chapter. I kind of used half my idea for the next chapter in here because I am going away on a trip for a while and won't be able to post Sorry! By the way, I realised that I never mentioned the fact that I am kinda ignoring Jesse's existence in this story. He may appear but probs not, so sorry to those who want him to. It is 2:00 right now so I'm just gonna go to sleep and let you read this. Tell me what you think. Night.