Chapter 16

Doctor's Orders

I went downstairs into the drawing-room where the kids were still being seen by Alexander's family doctor. So there are doctors for vampires. I asked Jameson how everything was so far. Alexander wasn't here yet I noticed.

"They are strong and healthy for the most part, Miss Raven. But it seems that they are anemic. Their iron is too low; the blood is too thin. They'll need to drink stronger blood." I nodded in understanding.

"So we'll be starting them on human blood?" I turned around to see Alexander standing by the door. Then a heavy smell filled my nose and I noticed the blood on his hands. You're hurt! I wanted to go to him but the way he avoided my concern told me I shouldn't. Then I realized the smell of the blood wasn't his.

"On a regular basis, yes," the doctor said from behind his mask. "But to be honest, it's a miracle that they've lived this long." I felt my blood chill from the way he said that.

"Is something wrong?" I asked as I sped to them and touched their foreheads. "Children are miracles, so why isn't it regular." I looked at Alexander who was already by my side checking the kids him self.

"What should we do?" he asked.

"It's what you should do. It's obvious they weren't given enough of their paternal blood during the pregnancy…" he looked at me to confirm, I nodded. "Then they will need to, now; one pint a day each for a year. I will return then to check up on how they are doing. Stop the animal blood, strictly human and your own until I return. I've seen the effects of this form of anemia before, but never with children as old as they are. If both parents are turned vampires it would be understandable. But a pure-blooded vampire, is nothing without pure blood. To be mixed with a human turned vampire, without the intake, the child would turn to ash at any given moment. The pure blood cells would overtake the changed ones, and wither away without a backup supply once they've died. You're bloodline, Alexander, is one of the purest aside from the king's and the council's of course. They are more pure-blooded than the average vamplings born from a turned vampire. Especially for one turned by the same pure blood. Your blood runs strong in the mother I'd imagine for the children to have so much of it. But it may be the only reason they've lived this long. If I hadn't detected it soon enough, possibly within two or three years, your young would've collapsed into their own ashes. I suggest you get started. Now." I was so shocked and scared for what I would have never known. I had to hold on tight to my babies to protect them from his insensitive words.

Alexander moved to his kids that he has come to love immediately. And after hearing about what happened to our youngest… I know he couldn't bear the thought of losing them too, just as I couldn't. Jameson came to Alexander with a tray that held two pewter goblets. "Young Master," he called to Alexander. The doctor held out an IV needle and tube to draw Alexander's blood into the goblets. But he ignored it and bit his left wrist open and held the thickly gushing blood over the pewter, not caring if it spilled onto the tray. I gasped and the kids stared in shock. The smell of the sweetest and strongest blood filled the room. When the cups were full, Alexander wrapped his open wound with a towel Jameson held.

Alex and Lexy took the cups and sniffed it. I rubbed their backs encouragingly and they drank. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. As they finished the blood, Alexander kissed their heads and let the doctor close his messy wounds properly. And treated his bloody knuckles without question. When he was done, the doctor called me over. "No thanks, I've had all my shots already," I told him sarcastically.

He simply chuckled and motioned for me to take a seat. "I know a pregnant vampire when I see one," he said. I literally fainted… to the floor.

~Some time Later~

"MOMMY!" I heard Lexy screaming. "MOMMY, MOMMY, WAKE UP! MOOOOOMMMMYYYYY!" I heard her but I couldn't move or speak. Lexy, don't cry baby, mommy's still here. I just don't feel very… on cue my stomach coiled and I felt nauseous. Why is it that I end up pregnant once Alexander starts to hate me, again? Is he going to leave me again? Why can't we just be happily pregnant? It's not good to us or to the baby… babies? I don't know. Oh my gothness, I'm pregnant. Wait… what if… no, no, no, no, no. Shit how could I be so stupid? How would I know? How far along am I? ... OH MY DAMNIT HOW FAR AM I?

"How far along is she?" I heard Alexander asked quietly. Damn it Alexander, I can't even panic in privacy can I?

'No!' was all he said.

"Vampires get pregnant immediately unlike humans who take a week. From the looks of it, I'd say it was very recent. I can't put a number on it until I could take a blood sample. But I'm certain that it's been less than a week, only a day or a few." That's not good enough! All I'll be thinking about now is if it'll be a baby bat, or baby with wings and horns. I need to know now!

"Could you at least tell its origin?" This can't be happening.

"Mr. Sterling," the doctor said in a grave and hushed voice, "Is she bound to you?" I guess Alexander nodded because the doctor continued. "Then only you could impregnate your bride; it is another effect of the ritual on sacred ground. The only thing that could break that bond… is if she were to birth a daemon after conceiving on sacred grounds." There was an audible pause. And I tried desperately to open my eyes or speak. "If you ask me of its origin, then you fear deceit upon your wife's affair with a creature that isn't a vampire. Do you know if your bond is being threatened? Because I can only do so much until the time comes that he would return for his young, with our without her. A daemon and a vampire may almost always bring forth a Succubus or Incubus." What the fuck… Alexander, wake me up!

"What do you know of a creature called a Vrekener?" he asked as he ignored my plea.

"I have heard of them. They aren't of this world Mr. Sterling. How she must've come upon one is beyond me if that's what you're telling me. What I do know is that they are abominable creatures. They are born of celestial and demonic origins. They inhabit a world within a dimension far from ours. They feed on souls, dead or alive. Legends call them Grimm Reapers, Soul Reapers, Angels of Death, Arch Angels and so on. But their semen is said to be empty 'til the moment they find their mates.

"The vrekener has one mate and one mate only during their lifetime. They aren't made by choice. They're predetermined by an unnatural force; known to our world as Fate, Destiny, God, or Gods. The same force that created the sacred bond between vampires and other creatures. They stop at nothing to be with their mates and kill mercilessly any being that stood between them, so I've heard. A vrekener could not impregnate your bride unless she was his predetermined mate, even if he was part daemon. Don't do anything foolish, Mr. Sterling. Vrekeners are immortal creatures to our realm and every other by the very definition… with an exception that only beings from their realm and their mates could bring them death. The mate would die as well, however. I pray that such is not the case for you and your bride. Luckily, since he is not here… I assume it is not. Good luck to you both." I listened quietly only because I was curious. I had woken up when the doctor spoke about mates. So when he took some blood and nodded to me then left us, Alexander turned to me and stared.

"It's not his Alexander," I told him, feeling guilty that it could have been and because I wasn't careful. Alexander only stared at me. "It's not. I was never on sacred ground with anybody else but the kids since my parents died. Not even at the Crypt." He wouldn't talk to me still. "I'm not his mate either, he already told me that he was looking for someone. He'd be here or I wouldn't if it were me."

"Did you want to be? At any time?" he asked unsure.

"No." I answered honestly. "Not once. I've been yours since that Halloween night we met." I could die without you in my life. "I can't… there's no way to express how horrible I feel and how sorry I am. Just… just tell me… anything I could do to make you really forgive me and let this go. Anything." I begged him.

He said nothing but walked out of the room and left me there, alone.

For the rest of the night Alexander took the kids out to Dullsville's cemetery. I followed behind and sat at my parents' grave while Alexander told him about his memories with his Granny and adventures with Claude and the vials. I rest my head on the grave marker and thought about my mom and her words of wisdom that I knew she'd give me right now.

Mom, I really need you right now. I wish I could see ghosts or at least you. Mommy, I really fucked up. Why couldn't you just turn the stove off after your stupid tea? I hated every time you went through my things, or tried to make me your civilized daughter. I yelled and argued with you every time. I would take it all back if you could just tell me what to do. And don't say be honest and make it right, 'cause I did all that. Don't say be strong and have patience, because I'm not and I don't. I guess I get it from Dad, huh?

I'm pregnant again mom, dad. Alexander loves the kids like I knew he would. Now that he's here, he'll be here when the time comes. I'm so sorry that I never told you about Zander. That's what I named him before he died. Zander James Sterling. I hope dad's not upset about me not considering his name. I promise if I have a girl, I'll name her Madison. This week has been chaos and it's not even over yet. Mom, dad, what will I do if he leaves again? I can't be sure that he'll stay. He doesn't tell me anything. After everything I put him through in three nights is enough to send him packing. But he'd never leave the kids. What if he takes them from me? With me, I've been responsible for a baby's death, malnourished children, and exposure to explicit content on the television. Ghosts harass my daughter, my son is dictating my sex life at seven, and I betrayed my 'husband' without even knowing it was betrayal. I keep my kids from making friends and the only one I have is eating souls.

You said marriage was a struggle with ups and downs. It seems mine is full of downs. You said the tenth year is the hardest. I didn't even know I was married and he's been gone for eight fucking years so it seems we'd only shared our 'marriage' for a couple of months. I hadn't exactly given him a home welcoming either. All I have for him is my heart that's been shattered and our children… the one's that have barely survived. I could have lost all of my children to death. Now I'll probably lose them once he thinks I'm not fit to raise them. How can I be so selfish? They deserve a better one than what I have to offer. He could give them a better life. If he decided to take them I wouldn't be selfish and refuse. I'd let him. Jameson would be there, and granny. So would you two; I know you would. I'd imagine how happy they'd be, to keep me from walking into the sun. I'd miss them, I'm sure they'd miss me. But they'd still be happier. Maybe when they were old enough, they'd come back to see me. I'd wait for them. I'd never leave. I wouldn't be too lonely. Billy would still be here. I could keep busy and work more. I'd visit Aunt Lily once in a while. I would wait… forever.

I stood up and dusted my dress off. I saw Alexander with Lexy nestled in his lap, and Alex lying on the grass beside them tossing a ball above him and catching it. When Alexander looked up I called to him, "I'll meet you all back at the mansion before coffin time. I have to take care of some things at home." The kids said their goodbyes and Alexander just nodded that he heard. I walked to the mansion and jumped to the attic balcony. I went inside and gathered my things to take back home. I threw the bag over my shoulder and did a once over to make sure I didn't miss anything. I heard the kids and Alexander return so I made towards the balcony again and jumped down. Once I was inside my car and got the ignition started, Alexander knocked on my window.

I rolled the window down halfway, wanting to keep the barrier there. Alexander rested one forearm on the hood of my car and looked at me with lonely eyes. "Are you coming back?" he asked. I sat back and relaxed in my seat thinking about what to say. I reached out to him with my thoughts. To be honest, I don't really know. Not right now, I guess. I really feel emotionally drained right now; I'd imagine that you do too. Everything has been intense and I don't know how to keep up and be what you need.

Then out loud I said, "It took me… all this time to get over everything that you've learned since your return. I've tried to lock it away and move on, but even Alex can tell you how successful that's been." I turned my head to look Alexander in the eyes. They were deep, mysterious, and lonely. "Those two have given me reasons to keep going and be as strong as I can for them and at times remember what genuine happiness felt like. I don't know what to do or how to be what they need now that you're here. You being here with them, it's what they need. I never really realized just how much. No amount of stories could compare to the real thing." We were silent for a while, both of us looking down and feeling lost. Alexander, I don't think I can't be what you need. I want to be, but wanting isn't enough. It seems like nothing I've done was right and only causes problems for you and the kids. Please take care of them? I can't… I love you all, but I just can't, right now.

With that, I put the car in reverse to back out. I refused to look at Alexander, but once again cried my heart out and drove home with a new sense of loneliness.

As soon as I got out of the car and slammed the door to the car, Luke came out of the house to see what was up. I wasn't ready to go in and face the loneliness, but I wasn't going to take Luke to bed either. So I stood and leaned against the car door until I could get my crying to stop. Luke walked up to me and pulled me into his arms. That was when I really sobbed. I shook in his arms from the painful sobs that racked my body. He didn't try to shush me and tell me everything would be okay. He held me tight and rubbed my back soothingly. When my sobs turned to a soft keening, I let him lift me into his arms and carry me into the house where he sat on the couch with me still cradled in his arms.

An hour later my tears finally ran dry, and my sniffles had stopped as well. I felt numb except for the dull ache in my chest. When I was feeling calm enough to talk I confronted Luke about the latest discovery. "Luke, I'm pregnant." He tensed, so I continued. "Alexander had a family doctor give the kids their first check up, then he pointed out that I was pregnant. He says vampire women get pregnant faster than human women so I was no more than a week but he couldn't say exactly. Alexander asked if there was a way to know of the origin. The doctor has heard of Vrekeners and mentioned all he knew about them but couldn't determine anything this early on." He hadn't said anything yet and it made me nervous. "When you came here you said you were looking for somebody." Still all I got was silence. I looked at him finally and saw that he was staring down at my stomach in wonderment. "Luke?" When he looked me in the eye I asked him, "am I your mate?"

I heard him answer in barely a whisper, "I don't know."

His voice was so low that it barely registered, but when it did… fear for what the future holds was all I was feeling. How will this change my life if I'm his mate? And the kids? And Alexander? "What do you mean 'I don't know', Luke?" I asked.

"For my kind, finding your mate isn't going to be as obvious as reading a label that says 'mine'. There's an undeniable pull towards that person, but even that could be misinterpreted." I thought about how he's stuck with me all this time and how he came to me with intense emotions.

"How would you know, for sure, if someone was your mate?" I asked.

"She'd get pregnant by my seed." He stated matter-of-factly.

It was my turn to tense and the situation I found myself in was more than life changing. It was no longer just my life that is affected. But still I tried to find a way to confirm or deny what I was to him. "But we've been together for a couple of months now and I'm only a week along. Alexander comes back and BAM! I'm pregnant. I need to know, Luke, to be sure. Because everything would change and I don't know how to handle the things I've already gone through. How can I be sure of the origin of the baby?"

"Would it be so bad to be mated to me?" he asked quietly.

"Don't get defensive on me, Luke. I know that whoever your mate is would be lucky to have you. I don't know how I'd take if it turned out to be me. But I do know that I've been madly even dangerously in love with Alexander since we first met. And with all I've been through with him while he was here and while he was gone and since he's been back, I can honestly say that I'm still hopelessly in love with him. I feel like the bond between us causes a stronger pull, but I know that without it I'd still love him. And I know that I always will. And I love you, Luke, as well. You know I do. But it's not the same as how I love him. With him it's deeper, stronger, and even painful. My love for you is new. I have loved you as a friend, but I've come to love you as more than that." Luke listened and caressed my abdomen with his thumb. He looked lost, but determined.

"What would you do, Raven, if you were mine? If you found out that this baby is mine, what would you do? What would you expect me to do?" Luke's voice is rugged but hard. He was calculating and registering everything carefully and I was grateful that he wasn't running away or trying to take me to his world against my will. So I relaxed in his arms and let him caress me knowing he'd never take advantage of me.

"Honestly, I don't know. I still want to be with my kids and I want them to still have their father in their lives. I would expect you to help me raise the baby if it was yours and be a good father for him or her. I would expect you to still be good to Alex and Lexy as you've always been. The kids would still be siblings after all. And I'd hope that you and Alexander would eventually stop staring daggers at each other and stop wanting to kill each other.

"I don't know how it would affect my relationship with either of you. I don't fully understand my bond of eternity to Alexander, and I know nothing of being a predestined mate to you. I don't know if one bond will break for the other. I don't know how that would affect any of us if it did. I don't know if it would mean I'm forever tied to you both. And if I was I don't even know how to process that. So, Luke, if it turns out that my baby is yours, then, I don't know what will happen and how it'll affect everyone. I don't want anyone to get hurt, but either way someone will. Part of me wants to believe that if I were not your mate, then you would still be my best friend and part of the kids' lives. Then when you found your mate, we'd all get along and put the awkwardness aside and move on. The problems between Alexander and I will be resolved in time as well. But somehow even that seems like wishful thinking. I'm going to lose someone important over this. And I don't know what to do."