By definition, memoir demands a certain degree of introspection and self-disclosure: In order to fully engage a reader, the narrator has to make herself known, has to allow her own self-awareness to inform the events she describes. ~Caroline Knapp

Anderson squinted at the report that scrolled across the main monitor located in his quarters. He hummed thoughtfully, gently swiping his calloused thumb across his chin in a back and forth motion. Without moving his gaze from the text, he called out to the darkness, "Classified."

A moment passed, maybe two, before a young Commander broke apart from the shadows to enter the hazy, blue glow of the screen.

"Wasn't gonna' ask about that, actually," Shepard explained as a natural biotic discharge rolled through her and momentarily illuminated her form in the darkness. "Wanted to know where we're heading to test the Normandy."

"You'll know soon enough, Commander."

Shepard narrowed her eyes at his still posture as the blue glow highlighted the creases of old age and bloodshed carved into his face. She snapped her eyes to the partially opened case that neighbored his desk. Really it was just to mask the annoyance.

"Fine."

"Nothing should be hectic, Shepard. Besides, you need to take some shore leave; relax, have a drink."

"I did that before I boarded the ship."

"Six hours on a 'military shopping spree', as you like to put it, doesn't count."

"Complain all you want, Captain. I still refuse to go drinking with you and Sanders ever again." He turned an amused look in her direction, which boiled down to a grim expression as she continued. "We both know that the Alliance tests covert projects- important projects- under V.I. and A.I. hands in automated simulations before they allow an entire crew- with lengthy, colorful files- use said project. And even if they did, the Council would not have allowed a decorated turian Spectre on board without full knowledge of the capabilities and the test report on this damn ship, sir. So I know there's more to this than you're letting on but I won't push you. It wouldn't be the first time I've been left in the dark."

The Commander sighed, running one hand over her face in order to keep the biotics at bay. She turned heel, left, leaving Anderson staring after her in open shock.

Shepard trudged past the mess hall, flicked a warp at the Med-Bay door to open it and strolled in to sit on a bed. Karin Chakwas glanced up from her terminal to look at the Commander with a sense of motherly concern.

"Don't tell me you've had a surge already," Chakwas called from the her desk. She turned in her chair to search one of the drawers for Shepard's medicine.

"No, I just-" Shepard rubbed her face in irritation. She already unsettled the pilot. Anderson didn't need the whole ship scrambling for information. "It's nothing. Had a bad dream and I just remembered it."

Chakwas clucked her tongue, striding towards the biotic and handing her the medicine. At once, Shepard unwrapped the candy delight and tasted the lollipop. She sighed, leaning back onto the bed.

"Thanks, doctor."

"Of course, Commander. Now since you're here, about that check-up-"

She bolted upright from the bed and trotted to the door. "On second thought, I should go." Shepard had the intentions of sauntering right out the door and into the cargo bay until she ran face first into the chest of Nihlus.

"Oh, Commander, I was just-"

"Shit, I didn't see you there-"

They halted in their speech to awkwardly meet gazes. Nihlus pulled himself to his full height as he made a quick apology. Shepard shrugged him off in a manner that was more cautious than nonchalant. "Something you needed, Spectre?"

He shook his head, extending a hand to the world outside the med-bay which she took as permission to haul ass. For a turian, Nihlus had no trouble keeping pace with Shepard. She briskly walked to end of the pod chamber and turned to him, her face expectant.

"What did you need?"

Nihlus chuckled lowly, always the mischievous bastard, as he took a step closer to Shepard, reaching a hand out. She bristled at him, but steeled herself as he didn't touch her; no, simply feeling the air around her as it cackled, hummed with energy of biotics.

"You're a biotic," he drawled.

"Good catch! Are all Spectres this slow to respond, or is it just you?"

"Temper, Commander, temper! Wouldn't want to risk a diplomatic incident, now would we?" Shepard flung her head at him. That movement seemed to stir something inside him because his vibrant green eyes narrowed and he looked about ready to strangle her if necessary. A heated moment that would mark the beginning of a friendship. Nihlus broke the tension, settling his three-fingered hand onto her shoulder.

The human sniffed.

The turian tilted his back in question.

She responded by charging her fists full of biotic energy.

Now that caught his attention. As a Spectre who regularly took missions, Nihlus had had his fair share of battles with creatures from across the galaxy; he narrowly escaped a Justicar. He peered closely at her hands because the overall violet glow possessed a faint crimson edge. It startled him, for lack of better words, and he calmly retracted his hand to gage her.

"Uh, so, when you guys are done with the 'old west' stare down, I kept your seats warm as you both requested," Joker interrupted over the hail-COM. "Thank you for flying Alliance Airways where we try to keep the sexual tension to a bare minimum."

Shepard's biotics dissipated from sight as she visibly relaxed. Nihlus offered his arm despite himself to which she growled and stalked to her locker to begin pulling on her armor. The turian kept his gaze on her a moment too long, then made his way to the bridge.

By the time Shepard made her way up, fully equipped, Nihlus was heading out after throwing a compliment over his shoulder to Joker.

"...call me paranoid."

Kaidan shook his head at the pilot. "You're paranoid. The Council has a right to send someone to look after the project they funded."

Before Joker could retort Shepard stepped in, "They only watch projects that are valuable in some shape way or form."

"So you're saying the Normandy isn't?"

"No, I'm saying that when the Captain suddenly changes the mission objective to actually landing somewhere, and then requests his ground team to wear bullet proof vests under their monkey suits, someone is hiding something."

"Thank you! Someone with an inquisitive mind!" Joker flipped his hands in the air then jerked forward to place them back on the control panel. He turned his head back to grin at the Commander. "So-"

"Status report, Lieutenant."

The pilot frowned at the use of formalities, trying to keep ahold of his virtual dignity. Anderson somehow managed to obliterate it every time he spoke to him. "Boards are green, Captain. Stealth systems are engaged and she's moving like a charm."

"Good. Find a COMM boid and link us to it. I want reports sent back to the Alliance before we touchdown on Eden Prime."

All three of the officers on deck shared a look. Eden Prime, huh? Joker smirked, setting his course.

"Aye, aye, Captain. And brace yourself, sir, I think Nihlus is heading your way."

"He's already here, Lieutenant." Well, there went his dignity. "Tell Commander Shepard to meet mein the COMM room for a debriefing."

"Yes, sir." The connection closed. "I'm guessing you caught that, Commander."

"Yup, but just in case, have him on speed dial. Never know when you could get lost on a ship the size of a pencil." Shepard leisurely made her way to the DR, stopping to chat with anybody and everybody on the way.

Joker spotted the L2 biotic chasing after the Commander with his eyes. He made a noise akin to gaging. Kaidan whipped around, his face catching fire and all the pilot could was laugh.

"Dude. Seriously?"

"What I was just-"

"Staring at the Commander's ass, I know."

"I wasn't-"

"You're right, 'staring' is a creepy term. More like, 'blissfully admiring'. What do you think? Too hanar for your tastes?"

"Joker!"

. . .

Shepard was currently swimming in a pool of stupor. Anderson and Nihlus conversed enthusiastically; deciding which missions to collaborate on, how to incorporate the Normandy. Hey, trail out on the Traverse for a few weeks. They were bound to catch dozens of crime lords! She gritted her teeth at them. She felt betrayed by this man who, out of trillions, she called father. And he just threw her, head first, into a political shit-storm for 'the good of humanity'.

Fuck humanity! She just had to restrain herself from killing Nihlus not even twenty minutes ago!

"Like hell he is."

Her murmur had not gone unnoticed as they both examined her. Anderson prodded the beast first, "What was-"

"I said, like hell he is. If you think that I'm just going to lay down and take it up the ass for the good of humanity-"

"Commander Shepard!"

"Then Nihlus can go fuck himself." The turian in question flickered his mandibles in an amused expression as the renegade side of this woman decided to show. Perhaps those files held some sort of truth of her antisocial, chaotic methods.

The Captain opened his mouth, to yell at her, no doubt, but Joker beat him to the punch. Shepard briefly wondered if he did this in flight school..

"Captain, sudden transmission from Eden Prime. You'll want to see this one, sir."

The Captain settled for silent reprimanding as he nodded at the projection set. "Play the transmission."

This particular vid immediately started off in a deeper level of hell as soldiers scrambled to dodge what appeared to be plasma bolts exiting the guns of unseen forces. The man relaying the situation barely had time to finish as he jolted, paralyzed from the bullet that struck him and fell somewhere dead off screen. Joker explained how there was no further transmissions after this one. Which meant one of two things.

One; shit got out of hand in a matter of minutes and soldiers couldn't cut across to the COMM tower to give an update.

Or two; everyone is pretty much dead.

"A small strike team can move in quickly to assess and disable these... mercenaries," Nihlus thrummed the word. "Where should we meet?"

"Cargo hold," Anderson flickered his eyes to Caen, set his hand on her shoulder. She sighed as she met his gaze. Nihlus left to go get his equipment. "I know this isn't... Look, we'll just have to discuss this later. Tell Alenko and Jenkins to suit up. You'll be hitting ground side."

Shepard did just that, only to find Jenkins limp in an unconscious pulp, slumped in the corner as Kaidan towered over his form. Engineer Adams winced when she approached; judging from the Lieutenant's expression, this was all just a bad accident. At the wrong time.

Accident, nonetheless. So she eased back the urge to biotic slap him around the entire ship.

"Don't tell me Alenko," he jerked upright at the sound of his name tumbling off of her scarred mouth. "He wanted to see you do a trick, right?"

Kaidan vigorously, not trusting his voice.

"And someone startled ya'," another nod, "and then you transported him into the wall."

"Yes ma'am, I-"

"No time. Come with me; we're hitting ground side on Eden Prime."

"Aye, aye, ma'am."

As Anderson trudged downstairs to give them the one-two, he raised a furry brow at the absence of Jenkins. "Out cold," the Commander explained. "Doc said he won't be going anywhere with those broken bones for months." Kaidan winced in reaction, looking entirely apologetic, but stayed silent as Shepard had told him to.

"Great. Joker! Forget the first drop-point, head for the second!"

"Understood, Captain."

Nihlus rounded the corner, shotgun in hand. "What's going on?"

"We lost a squad-mate for the ground team. You'll have to go with them.

"I move faster on my own."

Anderson shook his head, "This isn't the time for a debate, Spectre. Go with Shepard and secure the beacon. Look at this as an excuse to assess the battlefield with a team." And by that, he meant to see Shepard go to work against her enemies, live shot.

He couldn't really argue with Anderson on that. When Joker approached drop-point two, he flared his mandibles at Shepard telling her to be responsible since 'the mission is hers now'. She grunted, arming her sleek, silver shotgun in one hand. Their boots hit the earth known as Eden Prime, unknowingly killing critters as they walked about.

Years from now, she would wonder how things would have turned out if Kaidan hadn't been frightened by Engineer Adams and gotten Jenkins injured. The possibilities would be endless, all ending in different scenarios. She simply could laugh at all the different universes it may or may not have created.

Right now, she is the young Commander Caen Shepard- possible Spectre candidate I might add- whose mission is to secure the Prothean beacon containing chilling knowledge.

And I?

I am only know as Syndicate.

My only goal is to tell of her story.

How she came to be and how she ended.

AN: Okay, so I just wanted to provide some background filler these first two chapters. Which means that I'm going to assume we've played the game (why would you be here if you didn't?) and skip/twist the parts we've heard probably a thousand times. As I've explained before, this story is AU! and I'm taking it in my own hands. With that said, chapter three and beyond is where our adventure officially begins!

Thank you for reading, and reviews are always welcome! Makes me a happy author. ouo