1815 words. Wow, three chapters in one day! I don't think I've ever managed to do that! I really don't have much else to say about this chapter. I don't own Soul Eater, Sayuri, or Tatsuya.
"- and then there was the other reoccurring dream where I'm like Alice from that book with the rabbit and the cat that smiles a lot. 'Alice in...' What was it called again? Whatever, doesn't matter. So, Sayuri was the white rabbit and she was married to the March Hare who was Michael. He was having tea with Grandpa, the Mad Hatter. They told me the prince was looking for me but then I heard Mama singing and went to see if it was really her. Turns out she was on trial for falling in love with the prince, and when I finally saw the prince, he was the white monster from that other dream that attacks me," Karma finished her story. She lay on a cold operating table, irritated by her reoccurring dreams and the persistent itchiness of her scar. She looked to her counselor who had remained motionless the whole time. "Are you even listening? It's hard to tell when that damn light is glaring off of your glasses."
"Just because I do not react does not mean that I am not listening," Stein replied.
The scythe sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Mama is starting to make a bunch of cupcakes. You know what that means, right?" She looked at Stein once more. Not waiting for an answer, she continued, "It means, it's his birthday. Every year, she makes a ton of cupcakes, hoping that he'll come home for all of us to eat them together. But every year, she ends up just eating them all by herself. Blames it on menstrual cravings or some other crap. If Michael hasn't already started to help her make some, he'll probably be over there in a bit..." She paused, looking at the scientist to give some sort of reaction. Again, he gave her none.
"Of course, she asks me to join them in the kitchen every year. I refuse. Now she's mad at me... And I... don't want her to cry anymore... Not because of him and not... because of me, either..." Karma sat up and swung her legs over the side of the table. Sighing, she punched Stein in the arm. "Don't you dare tell anyone I said that, either."
Stein rubbed his arm, sore from the unforeseen blow courtesy of Karma. "I don't think you know your own strength," he said with a grin. "Everyone has their own way of coping, Karma." Stein continued, tightening the screw in his skull. "Your mother makes her cupcakes so that in the improbable chance that Soul comes back, he will know that she forgives his mistakes. Your method of coping is fear. Since you were a child, you have recreated the image of your father to be a monster because the last thing you remember about is him is that he hurt you. In the same way that your mother remembers loving Soul and prepares for his return with cupcakes, you remember hating Soul and push yourself to become stronger so that you will be ready to protect your family and yourself in the event of his return. If you truly wish to be ready for that day, you cannot just cope with your feelings towards Soul, you must conquer your underlying fear of him."
"I'm not afraid of him!" she shrieked. "He should be afraid of me! Some day, I promise you, I will get strong enough where I can hurt him as much as he hurt Mama, as much as he hurt me! He should be afraid of even thinking of stepping into Death City!" She clenched her fists to the point her knuckles turned white. "I'm not scared... I'M NOT SCARED OF HIM, YOU HEAR ME?"
Jumping off the table, Karma stormed off in the direction of the utensil drawer. "You'd better have a sharp scalpel and a decent specimen to slice into..." she said to the scientist, throwing a glare over her shoulder. How dare he accuse her of being afraid of that man?
She pushed past various dissection tools in order to find the sharpest scalpel in the drawer. Smiling widely, the weapon held up the tool so the operating light caught it just right. She turned it slightly so the reflective metal caught Stein's form in the small blade. "That man... isn't my father, understood? He's just the one who donated another X chromosome to me, that's it, nothing more. Never, I repeat, NEVER make the mistake of calling him my father again," she said coldly. "Now, where are all your dissection subjects...?"
Finding her unlucky patient, a large green frog, Karma pinned it to a dissection tray, a frightening grin spreading across her face. "What places would cause the most damage on, say, a human male?" she asked no one in particular. "It should be slow and painful, like all those lonely years Mama endured..." She positioned the sharp blade above the right thigh of the frog, imagining her scythe above Soul Evans. But something stopped her from piercing the animal's skin with the tool.
"What the hell...? Come on, Karma, you can do it. It's just a frog..." she whispered to herself, the scalpel frozen above the live animal. Her scar burned uncomfortably.
Stein remained sitting in is lab chair. He chose to not show his reaction to Karma's outburst for he feared getting scalpel in his neck. "Is something wrong, Karma?" Stein said. "You were so determined to take your anger out on a defenseless creature, so confident in your lack of fear. If you aren't afraid Soul, why can't you finish him off? Why do you call your dreams of the white monster 'nightmares' if you aren't afraid of him? Let's face it. You are not ready to face him yet."
A deep red painted Karma's face. She was furious. With Soul, the frog staring at her, her inability to move her hand, and Stein for maybe being right. Maybe she wasn't ready to face him. Maybe she'd never be ready to face him. Tears stung her eyes. What was the matter with her? She was stronger than that! Crying wasn't a cool thing to do. Big girls don't cry, right? When had been the last time she'd cried...?
A trip down memory lane brought her to the piano. A gorgeous grand piano her mother had given her father for Christmas before Karma was born. Her father had just placed her on the bench, agreeing to teach her to play the beautiful instrument. His fingers lay on top of hers, showing her how to play a C major scale. She tried it on her own, filled with wonder at how she could play notes that sounded lovely together. Her father would be so proud of her, she knew it. But then...
Clasping the scalpel with both hands, the scythe brought the tool down on the center of the animal. A spot of blood splattered on her cheek, soon to be washed away as tears fell from her eyes. Again, she stabbed the frog, trying to contain her sobs. She wouldn't cry in front of Stein. She wouldn't cry in front of anyone. If no one saw it, it never happened. She'd never cry again. "I'm not afraid!" she yelled, punctuating her sentence with another stab. "I'm not! I'm not! I'm not!" Again and again, she stabbed the poor creature, screaming out every time metal met flesh.
Through watery eyes, Karma stared at the mangled remains of the frog. When the time came to face her father, could she really do that to him? She had said that she wanted him to hurt by her own hands, even if that meant killing him, but... Sinking to her knees, Karma let the scalpel fall out of her hands. "I... I can't..." she whimpered. "Mama... Why...? Why can't I...?" Finally she broke down, sobbing into her bloodstained hands. "Mama, why? Why did Papa hurt me?" she screamed, regressing into a childlike state.
Stein had waited long enough. He walked over to the distraught Karma's side. He gave her a calming embrace with his arm, taking mental notes while doing so: 'Reluctant to show emotion, traumatic hemophilia, reversion to childlike behavior...'
"There, there," Stein said rubbing her back, "You can deny that Soul is your father if you want. It is just childish to deny your fear of him. The fact that you've admitted it only shows that you are growing up. You are the only one who can change you're feelings towards Soul. Whether you want to forgive him or murder him is your decision. I'm sure you will see which is best for you in time."
Karma was not a "huggy" person. If she ever gave hugs, which was a rare occasion, they were the manly kind. The ones where one gives a high-five, clasps hands, and gives a manly pat on the back with the other hand. The girl didn't like receiving warm embraces, either. She wasn't really that sentimental. But when Stein wrapped his arm around her, she gave in to the softer side of her. Grabbing the lapels of the scientist's lab coat, Karma buried her face into his chest. "Why...?" she continued to sob. "Just why...?"
"He loved you, you know," a child's voice said behind her. "He loved you more than you'll ever know..." Karma quickly turned to look behind her, still clutching Stein's coat in her hands. No one besides herself and Stein were in the room. "What was...?" she whispered to herself, returning to normal. She turned back to the scientist. "Did you...? Oh, nevermind..."
Realizing that she was still clinging to her counselor, Karma scrambled backwards, falling to the floor. "S-sorry about that! I just... you know, with the warmth and the squishiness and the touchy-feely..." she attempted to explain the emotional moment she'd just experienced. Composing herself, the scythe stood up, dusted herself off, and extended a hand to the man. "I'm very sorry you had to see me in such a weak state. Thank you for the counseling session. See you in school," she said with a stern look on her face before turning on her heels and leaving the lab.
Stein smirked from the unexpected emotion in the air. "Goodbye. If you need help before our next session, you know where to find me," he called after her. Stein was relieved to see that his work was finally paying off. He could not bare the thought of seeing Karma becoming more like him, an emotionless zombie who held all of his feelings inside. He had hoped that, through regular counseling sessions, he would be able to break through her stern demeanor and help Karma enjoy her life more. This touchy moment had been just what Stein needed to build his confidence that all of his hard work would pay off in the end.