CHAPTER 2

/JYUSHI'S POV/

The white of the ceiling's paint color, the white of the light, and white of reflection. . . Water? No, tears. It's salty.

I can feel someone's tears on my face, dripping down slowly to my cheeks, then to edge of my lips, and down to the pillow. It woke me up. Slowly, my eyes finally respond to me. I open them while holding my left arm up to cover the light is blurring my vision, looking up at the ceiling. Where am I, it's all white, hospital?

" Jyushi! "

Such a familiar voice resounded in my head. Am I still dreaming? It was such a terrible nightmare. What was it?

Ah, that's right, I . . . died in that dream.

" Jyushi, you finally woke up! Jyushi! "

The sound became more clear. Where is it, who is it? I turn my head over to where it came from, and finally noticed my right hand was being held tightly by that person. It took me a while to realize that. It's all still too bright, made me have to frown to get a better vision. It's . . . It's Todo.

I can hear his sobbing while holding my hand, saying something that I can barely understand what it is. Seeing his face makes me feel relief that's he's alright- . . . No, not quite. It's what I suppose to feel. I kept staring at Todo, despite he's crying, I couldn't say a word. Something is not right.

" Jyushi- are you feeling okay? Does it hurt anywhere? ", he asked.

" I'm fine. " Some words finally came out as I wanted to. I forced a smile on face and answered him.

" . . . Are you really? "

Todo looked at my with doubt in his eyes. But he didn't say anything more. I can tell because of his expression, we're close friends after all.

He sighed out, after a long moment waiting for me to answer, and just shakes his head.

" It's okay, you get some more rest. I'll go report to Kara-san. "

I nodded and watched him walked out of the room.

My body seems to be fine. I could use my hands to push my body to sit up. I clenched my hands to form a fist, continue to do that a few times to make sure I can feel my body. Yes, it is perfectly fine, but something isn't right. Something is missing, I can tell but couldn't figure out what it is. It just feel so . . . empty. Normally, these kind of things should make me, no, make anyone feel worry. But I don't.

Laying down again with a bunch of thoughts in mind, I fall asleep without knowing it.

.

I can feel the coldness from the wind trying to sneak through the window. It's making such a horrible and creepy sound, but still, it didn't affect me at all. I didn't move an inch from my bed, but it woke me up.

In the end, I couldn't go back to sleep. It was too noisy but I didn't really feel like moving from my bed. So the sound won't stop any sooner. I sat up to look at the ceiling again. It's just a pitch black, just like my mind right now.

Seems like the room gets colder and colder every second. It gave me a shiver, but still didn't bother me. Until I feel a sharp cold metal right at my neck.

" So you finally woke up. " A deep, low and mysterious voice came out from the dark.

" Who's there? "

" You human forgot things fast. Too fast. How cruel. "

It sound oddly familiar, although I'm sure that I don't know anyone like this. Not being able to see who's behind this darkness really scares me. Scared? No. Right now, I'm totally calm. So calm, that I feel like I'm a totally different person. What's happening?

I kept staring into that pitch black in front of my face.

A silence moment passed through us, until the mystery man decided to come closer to me. The first thing I could see, was his eyes. It's such a catchy purple that can easily posted in the dark, like it's glowing. Then his hair, his face . . .

" Have you already regret of your decision? ", he asked.

But I can't think through what he just said. My eyes kept looking at him. Such a pale skin, hidden under the long black coat. Them grey hair really spotted out his beautiful eyes. And his hands. They are so skinny.

He removes his big deadly scythe from my neck and decides to use his hands to lift my chin up instead. These hands, they are so cold. It's like this man isn't a human at all.

Suddenly, the guy grabs tight of my neck and pushes me lay down on bed. I was in such a deep thought that I couldn't react to it.

" Maybe you haven't remember. Let me help you, young man. "

He came closer to face me, touch his forehead with mine. It's also so cold. But then, it's like an electric sock ran through my body. My head, it's spinning like crazy. I can see some flashback came across my head when the pain is killing my head. I can see something, and I can even. . . feel something.

I see myself in a dark ally, all wounded. And. . .

" . . . So it wasn't a dream after all. ", that thought in my mind slipped out of my mouth.

The flashback kept coming. It hurts, I feel like it's melting my brain.

A few minutes passed by. It stopped, but I can still feel the pain in my heart. My face didn't express anything, but the tears, they wouldn't stop.

I'm dead.

And so does Homura-san.

I looked down at my shivering hands, clenching them then hold it tightly to stop the shiver. That's right. It's all clear now. The thing that's missing inside of me, is my heart. My emotions have been taken awake as a price for another life. Half of it. The pain went away fast when I have figured it out.

This is the life that I have exchanged to revenge for Homura-san, to take down those one who's taking away everyone's happiness. And I will use it good, I promised it to myself.

I calmed myself down after a deep breath.

" "

He seems surprised as I called out for him, but he looked at me as a respond that's he's listening. He's looking at me, with those picturesque eyes. I slowly sit up again, smile at him gently, and lower my head down to show respect.

" Thanks you. ", I said.

He still didn't respond a single word to me. Just sat there, on the edge of my bed, looking at me. I didn't see it, but I can tell that he's staring at me, I just know it. We kept the silence atmosphere for a long moment, until he finally decided to speak up.

" Don't let them find out about you. " , are the only words that he said before disappearing in the purple mist came out from nowhere. The coldness went away as well.

I think that he really care for me. He doesn't really look like a Shinigami at all.

.

As soon as he left, I lay down again and think about his words.

Having no emotion, and a undead body. It's a real struggle to hide this from anyone, especially when it's out of the battle field. I can't hide anything from Todo.

Not like I would tell him, but, I assume soon or later he'll find out. We've been friends for as long as we know. He's my childhood friend, a weak kid in my memories, but still, he decided to join the army just because he was worrying about me after that accident. We spent a lot time together. We can tell when someone's in trouble, when someone's lying.

I know he noticed something weird about me earlier in the evening.

But still, I will have to try my best keep myself away from him. For everyone, for his own good.

I'm sorry Todo. I have to.

.

.

" You're in a really really really biiiiiigggg trouble, Shinineko~ "