The usual excitement of the first few days back at Hogwarts had been intensified by the presence of the famed Harry Potter, which in turn seemed to increase the standing of every Gryffindor student in the school by way of association. Those students in the other three Houses were constantly questioning their counterparts on what he was like, did he remember anything about Voldemort, where has he been, but in most cases people would have to admit that they hadn't really had much of a chance to talk to him. Of course these people weren't Fred and George, who delighted in revealing every facet of the first year's life without having to worry about simple things such as facts or the truth.
"Oh yes," nodded Fred as he and George spoke enthusiastically to two fourth year Ravenclaw girls who, up until last year, had treated the twins with rather a bit of disdain but, on finding out they personally knew Harry Potter, suddenly adapted their view of the twins to rather interesting.
"He completely remembers confronting You-Know-Who," admitted George looking serious, "if fact he went into a lot of detail about the whole thing the first night he was here."
"Really?" asked one the astounded girls, Valerie Huffington. Her eyes opened wide in awe.
"Really," agreed Fred smiling, "we'll be happy to retell the whole story to you after Quidditch practice."
"Oh, did we mention we were on the Quittich team?" beamed George trying to look casual about the whole thing.
"No, but we knew that already," replied the second girl, who the twins had learnt was called Catherine Margo.
"You did?" George answered looking thoroughly pleased with himself.
"Well, you are two redheaded twins," said Catherine nodding towards George's hair, "it's not really that difficult to spot you during a game."
"We do make for pretty impressive viewing when we are in full flow on our brooms," Fred winked at the two girls.
"Fred! George!" Angelina called down the corridor, she was standing next to Alicia and both of them had their brooms slung over their shoulders, "are you coming or not? You're gonna be late."
"Who's that?" asked Valerie, her brow crinkled as she frowned at the intruders, "your girlfriends?"
"They wish," said George waving at the two Gryffindor Chasers, "they've been asking us out since our first year, but they are a bit to immature for us."
"Didn't you get put in detention the other day for sliding down the banisters while doing an impression of a chicken?" Catherine raised an eyebrow.
"No," said George shaking his head, "I'll think you find it was an impression of a turkey."
"Right," said Valerie slowly, "look, we'd better get going."
"So we'll see you after Quiddich practice then?" asked Fred.
"Well, we've a lot of homework to be getting on with," admitted Catherine, "maybe another time."
The twins watched as the two girls disappeared down the corridor.
"You had to slide down the banister didn't you?" muttered Fred shaking his head as he stooped to pick up his broom.
"Lee bet me I wouldn't," replied George as he too retrieved his broom from its resting place, "besides what was with that 'impressive viewing when we are in full flow' nonsense."
"That wasn't nonsense," retorted Fred as the two of them made their way down to the Quidditch pitch, "we do look impressive."
"Take your time why don't you?" said Oliver sarcastically as the twins finally arrived at the pitch alongside the rest of the team, "it's not like we have better things to be doing than waiting for you."
"Really?" asked George, "because I'm a bit tired and if it's okay I could probably do with a nap."
"Hey if he's allowed a nap then so am I," added Fred.
"No one is having a nap," Oliver stated firmly. He rubbed his temple with his fingers; over the summer he'd forgotten how difficult it was to manage the twins, "we're just having a bit of a run out today to see if everyone has gotten rusty over the summer."
"Who's replacing Miro?" asked Alicia, counting the other members of the team in her head, "and what about a Seeker?"
"I'm holding tryouts in the next few days to fill those positions," admitted Oliver, "although I'm thinking that Katie Bell did quite well during the tryouts last year so she'll be a good bet to replace Miro. We could have a problem coming up with a replacement Seeker though, last year no one came close to being as good as Charlie in the tryouts."
"What about the first years? There might be someone good in there," said Angelina bouncing the Quaffle in her hand.
"I doubt it," shrugged Oliver, "there hasn't been a first year in a Quidditch team for over a hundred years. I suppose it is always a possibility though, but we can instantly discount those from muggle backgrounds since we need someone who can fly a broom. Hey, your brother is a Gryffindor isn't he? What's his name? Russ?"
"You mean Ron?" asked George looking sceptical.
"That's it, Ron," nodded Oliver looking excited, "is he any good? I mean Charlie was a fantastic player and from what I hear Bill was pretty good too."
"Ahem," coughed Fred theatrically.
"Yes," said Oliver rolling his eyes, "you two are alright as well I suppose, when you aren't being pains of course."
"Of course," agreed Fred, "anyway as far as Ron is concerned I wouldn't be holding my breath, we normally make him play in goal at home so I don't think he'll make a good Seeker."
"Oh well," said Oliver looking a bit crestfallen, "hopefully someone will turn up for the tryouts who didn't last year."
"That's the spirit," George punched his team captain playfully on the arm, "nothing like brimming with optimism to instil confidence in the team."
The practice seemed to be straightforward enough; as Oliver had iterated before, it wasn't really a full-on practice but more of a relaxed bit of session so that they could all get use to playing with each other again. The twins had sensed this lack of discipline on Oliver's part early on and had taken to messing around whilst on their brooms, much to the amusement of Alicia and Angelina.
"You're such an idiot," laughed Angelina as Fred hung upside-down on his broom, his legs folded over the top of it as he caught a pass from his brother. "What happens if you fall off?"
"It's okay," said Alicia, catching the Quaffle as Fred threw it to her awkwardly, "he'll only land on his head, it's not as if it'll do any damage."
"Of course it'll do damage," complained George, heroically leaping to the defence of his brother, "it'll probably dent the pitch for a start."
The light soon began to fail and it wasn't long before it became too dark to play. The five Quidditch players wandered back towards the school with their brooms slung over their shoulders as Oliver carried the Quaffle under his arm. They chatted animatedly about the various Quidditch games they had each been to in recent years and quickly found themselves stepping through the archway back into the school.
"All right Mr Filch?" George asked the caretaker who was busy mopping a patch of floor.
"What do you want?" snapped Filch. His immediate thought of handing out punishments for them being out of their House was quickly extinguished as his eyes flickered towards the brooms on the students shoulders and realised they were coming back from Quidditch practice.
"Just seeing how our favourite member of staff is doing," Fred pointed out kindly.
"How I'm doing?" spat Filch waving the end of the mop at the two boys, "How I'm doing? I'm doing bloody marvellous considering you lot left me to rot in that tomb in Eqypt."
"That wasn't our fault," said George, recalling their exploits during the school trip the previous year. Oliver, Angelina and Alicia decided that this was probably the best time for them to slip away back up to Gryffindor House. "Enoch said that the exit was only one way and that they had to wait for you to decide to find your way out."
"You'd think someone would have told me that wouldn't you?" retorted Filch dunking his mop back into the bucket of dirty water.
"We didn't know," countered George shrugging his shoulders.
"Or you could have come back to find me before you left the tomb," added Filch bitterly.
"Ah well yeah I suppose we could have," admitted Fred reluctantly, this was followed by an awkward silence which was finally ended by George.
"So how long…"
"Three days," snorted Filch.
"Three days?" asked the twins in unison.
"And nights," added Filch.
"Why did you wait so long?" enquired George frowning.
"Oh I don't know," replied Filch sarcastically, "it might have had something to do with the fact that there were a bunch of nutters on the outside ready to kill me as well as giant bugs and monsters made of dirt roaming around the tunnels. All in all staying put seemed like the smartest idea at the time."
"Yeah, but three days?"
"I was half dead from thirst by the time I came stumbling out of that cave," grumbled Filch, "and I'm blaming you two for all of that, you and your uncle."
"How is it our fault?" asked Fred looking across at his equally astounded brother.
"If you and your stupid uncle hadn't gone on that idiotic treasure hunt I would have been all safe and cosy staying here at the school."
"Er… we didn't make you follow us," George pointed out.
"Yeah? Well…" Filch stuttered holding a finger up warningly as he thought of the best possible comeback that would put the twins in their place, "… shut up."
"Well it's been a pleasure as always Mr Filch," smiled George much to the caretaker's annoyance, "but I think it is getting late so we'll be heading off to bed."
"Good night Mr Filch," said Fred waving his spare hand as the twins left the caretaker alone with his work. Fred pointed to a spot on the floor as they were leaving, "by the way, you missed a bit."
"I can't believe him sometimes," complained George as the two boys made their way up the stairs, "if he hadn't been sneaking around, listening in on conversations that had nothing to do with him then he wouldn't have got stuck in that tomb. Yet somehow, it is all our fault."
"I know," agreed Fred as they rounded the corner and waited patiently for the top of the stairs to stop moving to a new place, "I wouldn't mind if we'd stuck him in a tomb deliberately, but getting blamed for something that we didn't do, it's just so wrong."
"Exactly, although to be fair if we had thought of it, we probably would have done it," admitted George thoughtfully.
The twins soon reached the portrait of the fat lady and gave the appropriate password to be allowed into the House. There was only a few occupants left in the room including Lee Jordan who was sitting in one of the chairs, with his leg flopped over one of the armrests while he read from a large and colourful book entitled 'Chudley Cannons – Why?'
"Hiya guys," he called over the top of the book, "good practice?"
"Yeah it was pretty easy," admitted George dropping down into one of the chairs and resting his broom against the side of a table."
"Pretty easy?" frowned Lee, "Oliver must be going soft in his old age."
"Oi enough of the 'old' thank you very much," snapped Oliver as he stepped out from the stairway up to the boys' dormitories, "I'm in the prime of life I'll have you know."
"Yeah, it's all down hill from here for you," said Fred from the comfy recess of his chair. "So what's that?"
"It's a notice about the Quidditch tryouts," said Oliver holding up a piece of parchment before securing it to the notice board, "I expect you two to be there."
"Why do we have to tryout?" said Fred looking annoyed.
"No, I don't mean you have to tryout," explained Oliver reading a few of the other notices, "I just want you there to help me decide who should fill the Chaser and Seeker spots. Angelina and Alicia are helping out too."
"It's on a Saturday morning," George complained having stood up to read the notice himself, "do you really need us there?"
"No, not really," admitted Oliver shrugging.
"Good."
"Although I guess that means I'll have to change the notice so that it'll say the tryouts are for the Beater positions as well," said Oliver thoughtfully, preparing to take down the parchment.
"Steady on Oliver," George put his hand on the parchment to stop it from being taken off of the board, "if it is that important to you, then Fred will be there."
"Just Fred?"
"Fine," sighed George, "I'll be there too, although I don't know why I'll be needed if Fred is there."
"That's easy," replied Oliver, pushing the parchment back into place, "with both of you there I don't have to worry that either of you are going to end up in detention and miss practice."
"Hey," responded Fred from his chair, "I'll have you know that we hardly ever get detention any more."
"Only because you don't get caught," explained Oliver.
"What more do you want?"
"Er... how about you don't do stuff that'll get you into trouble in the first place?"
"I don't get it," admitted Fred frowning.
"Yeah, where's the fun in that?" asked George looking equally puzzled.
The following morning, in the Great Hall, there was a buzz along the Gryffindor table as the majority of the students had read the notice about the Quidditch tryouts and were keen to compete for a place.
"Oh, heads up," said Lee looking up at the windows from his breakfast. A large number of owls swooped in from above carrying various packages and letters to the addressees along the table. Everyone reached out to grab their post as it was dropped from above, some with varying degrees of success compared to others.
"It's only a letter," said Lee looking down at Fred who was now sprawled on his back having stretched out to catch an envelope and promptly fallen backwards off of the bench.
"That's not the point Lee," winced Fred as he pushed himself up from the ground, "how would it have looked if I, the star player of our Quidditch team, were to have missed catching it?"
"Whereas being slumped on the floor is so much better?"
"Exactly," said Fred finally getting back into his seat. He looked down at the envelope, frowned and handed it to Lee, "oh, it's for you."
"Thanks."
"I caught ours," said George helpfully, holding up four letters. He passed two across to Fred while he opened one of the others and began to read.
"Cheers," said Fred ripping the first one opened, "oh it's from Charlie… 'having a great time… yada-yada-yada-yada… Romania lovely this time of year…blah blah blah… dragon burn… all the best.' Seems to be enjoying himself. Who's have you got?"
"From mum," said George, not looking up from his letter.
"What does she say?" asked Fred pulling open the second letter, which turned out to be from their other brother Bill.
"It's not so much of a letter as it is a list of crimes and other things she found in our room," admitted George, "she found our exploding joke door knob we bought from Zonko's last year."
"I thought I'd lost that," replied Fred thoughtfully, reading from his own letter, "apparently Bill is re-examining that tomb of Kai, there is a lot of excitement about it. Wonder if we'll get any reward for discovering it in the first place."
"Well technically Filch was the first one to find it," George pointed out. "Damn, mum found our stack of dungbombs hidden in the garden; apparently the gnomes had got hold of them."
"What would gnomes want with dungbombs?" asked Fred, "anyway, Filch was only first down into the tomb because you pushed...."
"Accidentally bumped," George corrected his brother.
"Sorry, 'accidentally bumped' him," Fred finished his previous sentence using his brothers amended phrase.
"Apparently mum's favourite casserole dish is missing and she thinks we might know something about it," George informed his brother, "how's Bill getting along anyway?"
"Oh fine," admitted Fred, "aside from the Kai tomb, they have found another excavation site so it looks like he is going to be busy for the next while at least."
"Can you check these for me?" said George passing the letter from their mum over to his brother, "to be honest I can't remember doing half this stuff."
"Sure, lets have a look," Fred ran his finger down the letter, "yep, that was us, and that, oh god that was definitely us, remember? We had to leave our windows open over night to get rid of the smell."
"Oh yeah, the casserole dish was ruined," George said remembering. He picked up the last letter and pulled it from the envelope, "hey, this one is from Enoch."
"How's he getting on?" asked Lee who, like most of the students at Hogwarts, had come to like the twins' uncle very much during his time as the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher.
"You know Enoch," replied George, "he's not happy unless he is up to his neck in trouble."
"Sounds familiar."
"Yeah, Fred seems to take after him a lot," admitted George continuing to read from the letter, "it looks like Enoch is having fun, something about a bit of problem with the authorities down in South America, says it's just a misunderstanding… oh hello Professor."
George had stopped reading as the head of Gryffindor House was standing next to him with her arms folded and her lips pressed tightly together.
"I was wondering if you two gentlemen could help me with something," she said looking between Fred and George.
"We'll do our best Professor," replied Fred trying to look helpful.
"Yesterday afternoon, whilst I was gazing out of my window I noticed a very strange sight indeed," McGonagall continued, "it appeared to be one of the school owls struggling to carry a package that looked very much like a wrapped up toilet seat. Of course this seemed rather odd to me, so I asked Mr Filch to check each and every toilet in the school to see if any were missing and can you guess what he found?"
"Er…" George was on the verge of making some joking remark but catching one look at Professor McGonagall's face was enough to convince him that it probably wouldn't have been the wisest course of action.
"He found that in the third floor boys toilets one of them was missing a seat, I don't suppose that either of you would know anything about this?"
"It's news to us Professor," replied George exuding complete innocence from every pore.
"Yes I thought as much," admitted McGonagall, "which is why I decided to dispatch a quick letter of my own to your mother."
"You did?" asked Fred slowly, a slight knot forming in his stomach.
"Yes, it very simply stated that if by pure chance a Hogwarts' toilet seat does get delivered to your house that she should let me know immediately along with who sent it. Destruction of school property is looked on very dimly here."
"It's looked on dimly by us too," replied George still managing to maintain a look of purity.
"I'm glad that is the case," McGonagall stated before heading off towards the kitchen table.
"I thought you said we wouldn't get caught," hissed George once the Transfiguration teacher had moved out of earshot.
"How was I to know that she'd be looking out of her window?" countered Fred hurriedly. "Or that she would asked Filch to check the toilets?"
"We'll have to ask Ginny to hide it," reasoned George, "do you reckon if we sent an owl now it would get there before the other one?"
"It left yesterday," said Fred shaking his head, "even carrying the toilet seat wouldn't slow it down that much."
"Damn," swore George, "how else could we get a message to Ginny?"
"Through the Floo-Network," stated Lee quickly.
"Right," said Fred looking serious, "I'll head through one of the tunnels to Hogsmeade, sneak into one of the buildings and use their Floos to quickly go home. I tell Ginny to hide the seat if it arrives. While you tell Quirrel that I wasn't feeling well and have gone to see Madam Pomfrey. Of course we'll have to work out a plan in case Quirrell checks with Pomfrey."
"Or you could just use the Floo in our Common Room," said Lee, destroying an otherwise flawless plan.
"You can't travel using the Common Room Floos," said George shaking his head, "they aren't big enough."
"Not to travel," admitted Lee, "but you can still stick your head in and send a message. Why do you think there is Floo-Powder stored on the mantelpiece?"
"There is?"
"You two really don't pay a lot of attention do you?" said Lee rolling his eyes, "have you ever wondered why every now and then, there are people in our Common Room either chatting to the fire or have their head stuck into it?"
"I just thought they were cold."
The twins quickly sprung up from the benches and hurried up the stairs as fast as they could, taking a couple of short cuts on the way to make their progress quicker. They burst into the Common Room, and were momentarily stopped in their tracks. In front of the fireplace was someone on all fours, they couldn't tell who it was since the person's head had disappeared from view and seemed to be buried amongst the smoke and flames of the fire.
"We don't have time for this," concluded Fred grabbing a handful of Floo-Power from a pot on top of the mantelpiece, using his other hand he grabbed the back of students top and pulled them out of the fire.
Angelina looked up at the twins with an expression of puzzlement and annoyance.
"George will explain," Fred said before pushing his head into the fireplace, from the neck up he disappeared from view. His muffled voice could be heard in the Common Room, "sorry to interrupt Mrs Johnson, but I have to use the Floo, it's an emergency."
Fred pulled his head back out, stated the Weasley home address before throwing the black powder in his hand back down onto the fire and returning his face to the flame.
"Well?" Angelina asked George raising an eyebrow.
"Like he said," George pointed at his brother, "it's an emergency."
"Ginny? Ginny?" hissed the muted voice of Fred, "shh keep it down, I don't want mum hearing." Only Fred's side of the conversation could be heard. "Has the post turned up yet? Good, when it does, there will be a toilet seat addressed to you. Yes, a toilet seat. Because it's funny. Just make sure you hide it from mum, okay? Brilliant, nice one Ginny. See you."
"Let me get his straight," said Angelina doing a remarkable impression of McGonagall with her arms folded and lips pursed, "you, cut short my conversation with my mum, because you sent your sister a toilet seat and you wanted her to keep it hidden from your mum."
"Yeah," smiled Fred his cheeks smudged with soot.
"And that counts as an emergency does it?"
"Well, what would you call it?"
"I'd call it 'two idiots playing a stupid prank that went wrong'," admitted Angelina looking annoyed.
"What's the difference?" asked George frowning.