"Come on then," said George as Lee led the twins down one of the many winding halls of the school, "where's this new passageway out of the school?"
"It better not be the one behind the statue of Gregory the Smarmy," warned Fred wagging a finger, "George and I found that one in our first week."
"Oh," said Lee stopping in his tracks and looking thoroughly disappointed, he turned to look at the twins, "you know about that one then do you?"
"Yeah, it lets you out just outside the school walls," replied George nodding his head towards the window which opened out onto the school grounds.
"It was a good try though," admitted Fred slapping his friend on the back.
"Thanks," replied Lee scratching his chin, "shame though, I was looking forward to exploring that."
"That's okay," shrugged George, "I'm sure we'll think of someway to keep ourselves amused tonight."
"What do you have in mind?" asked Lee looking between his two friends, having known them for a couple of years he could spot when they were planning something. The first clue was normally whether or not they were awake, although he did suspect that they probably thought up most of their ideas in their dreams; it would have explained a lot.
"Well you know how we aren't supposed to go up onto the third floor corridor on the right hand side?"
"Yeah?"
"Er… okay that's pretty much it," admitted Fred sheepishly, "we're going to the third floor corridor on the right hand side."
"Didn't Dumbledore say we could suffer a most painful death if we went there?" asked Lee looking uncertain.
"Yes."
"Sounds good to me," said Lee rubbing his hands together, "what do you reckon? Down in the Common Room at midnight?"
"I'd say make it about eleven twenty," replied George, "that whole meeting at midnight stuff is all very over the top, I prefer to be subtle."
"Yeah, if one word defines you two it's definitely 'subtle'," said Lee dryly.
"I would have gone with 'callow'," admitted Fred.
"Why? What does it mean?" asked Lee looking at his friend to see which part of him exuded a general feeling of callowness.
"I don't know," shrugged Fred, "but McGonagall put it on my report last year, and I got pretty good marks in my Transfiguration exam, so it's bound to be something good.."
****
"You guys ready?" whispered Lee in the dark of the dormitory, the faint snores of the other two occupants reverberating from their beds.
"Yeah," replied George pushing back the curtain surrounding his bed.
The three boys made their way as silently as they could out of their room. Since they were doing it in the dark, the relative quiet was regularly interrupted by the sounds of one of them bumping into something, which usually preceded a flurry of curse words.
"That is going to leave a bruise," muttered Fred in the hallway as he rubbed the shin of his leg.
"They're still asleep," Lee informed them as he closed the door to their dormitory, "although I'm not entirely sure how."
"Idiot," said George punching his brother on the arm.
"You left the cauldron there," Fred pointed out, "I wouldn't have tripped over it otherwise."
The two of them bickered all the way down the stairs, the fire in the Common Room had almost gone out, leaving just the faintest light for them to guide their way across to the portrait hole. They had almost reached the exit when a voice spoke from the nearest chair, causing all three of them to jump at the unexpected noise.
"I can't believe you're going to do this."
A lamp flickered on. Seated in the chair was one of the new first year girls. Her face quickly changed from a frown to one of slight embarrassment. Her cheeks flushed pink to match her dressing gown.
"Oh…s-sorry," she stammered quickly, caught off-guard, "I thought you were someone else."
"Happens all the time," shrugged Fred, he nodded his head towards George, "people are always mistaking me for him."
"It's Stephanie isn't it?" asked George.
"Hermione," corrected the girl.
"Close enough," shrugged George, "who were…"
"How is that close enough?" asked Lee raising his eyebrows.
"It's a girl's name," explained George, he pointed towards Hermione, "and she's a girl, so, close enough."
"I'm glad I only share your looks and not your brains," admitted Fred. He turned to address Hermione, "who were you waiting for?"
"Oh, it doesn't matter," replied Hermione shaking her head slightly, "just a couple of first year boys were planning on sneaking out of the House tonight."
"Honestly," George tutted, "you just can't rely on anyone these days can you?"
"Wait a minute," the frown had worked its way back onto Hermione's face, "where were you going?"
"We're sneaking out of the House," replied George unashamedly.
"But you can't."
"Oh we can," said Fred informatively, "you just head out of the portrait and there you go, you've snuck out of the House. Is it snuck or sneaked?"
"I know you can sneak out of Gryffindor House," replied Hermione, "what I actually meant was that you shouldn't."
"Snuck out… it just doesn't sound right you know? But then 'sneaked out' isn't any better."
"Why shouldn't we?" this time it was George's turn to frown.
"Because it's against the rules," said Hermione raising her eyebrows.
"And?"
"Snook. We 'snook' out of the House. Nothing sounds right now."
"What do you mean 'and'? It's against the rules," Hermione tried again.
"Yeah, I still can't see the actual problem," responded George shaking his head.
"The problem," Hermione stated slowly, "is that if you get caught, you'll cost us House Points."
"Ah well that's easily solved," beamed George glad to finally be making some headway, "we won't get caught."
"But that's not the point."
"Look, Harriet…"
"Hermione," she corrected him through gritted teeth.
"That's what I said. Anyway, trust us, we've done this plenty of times," admitted George pressing his hand on his chest, "and we've never been caught. So, thanks for looking out for us but we'll be fine."
"Yeah," agreed Fred, "we've snicked out of here plenty of times."
Leaving the gob-smacked first year alone in the Common Room the three boys made their way through the portrait.
"Merlin's Beard," muttered Lee shaking his head, "how bossy was she?"
"I know," agreed Fred, "I bet she gets on well with McGonagall."
The three boys had only made it a few steps before the came across another Gryffindor first year; a boy this time. He was curled up in the foetal position next to one of the walls quietly snoring away.
"We were never this weird when we were first years were we?" asked Lee as they crept passed the snoozing boy. He thought about what he'd just said, and the company he was with, "well, I was never that weird."
The three boys made their way through the school using the various short cuts that had become second nature to them, and it wasn't long before they were at the third floor, close to where the corridor which had been designated out of bounds was. They passed by one of the classrooms where their Charms lessons were held and eventually came to the end of the corridor where a locked door barred them from progressing any further.
"Allow me," said Fred taking his wand out of the pocket of his jeans, he pointed at the keyhole of the door, "Alohamora!"
There was a faint click and the door swung open, leaving a self-satisfied looking Fred to saunter on through.
"I never look that smug do I?" asked George.
"Only when you do something right," admitted Lee graciously, "so hardly ever."
George and Lee followed Fred inside. The door closed slowly behind them. The three boys had frozen in their tracks and for good reason. They had definitely found the forbidden corridor.
They were looking at a humongous three headed dog, which was laying across the middle of the corridor, each of its heads laid peacefully on the floor as faint growls emanated from each of them. Its body filled most of the room between the floor and the ceiling and blocked their view of the corridor behind it.
"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," said Lee quietly in case he woke the sleeping beast.
"You know, I think I might have to agree with you on that one," said George staring unblinkingly at the animal.
"We might be able to sneak passed it," said Fred hopefully.
"We'd have to climb over it," George pointed out, "it's laid out across the whole width of the corridor."
"I reckon we could manage it," ventured Fred.
At that moment one of the heads of the dog gave a loud snort, before its jaws stretched as it yawned deeply, revealing rows of sharp deadly looking teeth.
"I think it's waking up," Lee said, his eyes opening wide in panic.
"Time to leave I think," admitted George reaching for the handle behind his back.
He pulled the door open just as the dog opened one of its large oversized eyes and the three boys piled through.
"Why would anyone leave a dog like that in the middle of a corridor?" asked Fred jabbing his finger backwards at the closed door.
"Isn't it obvious?" shuddered Lee, who could still see the gaping jaws of the beast in his mind's-eye.
"School mascot?" George bent down to look through the keyhole at the animal.
"Nah," disagreed Fred shaking his head, "we've already got one of those."
"We do?" asked George.
"Yeah," nodded Lee, "the Giant Squid."
"Oh," frowned Fred, "I always thought it was the Whomping Willow."
"I would have said it was Filch," admitted George. The three boys took a moment to picture the school's caretaker. "Maybe not."
"So why the dog then?" Fred turned to Lee.
"What are dogs used for?" asked Lee. He quickly realised that his two friends were both trying to think up silly answers to the question so he decided to head them off at the pass by giving them the solution himself. "To guard things."
"Ahh," said George tapping the side of his nose, "now you're talking. So how do we get passed a giant three headed dog?"
"We're going to need three giant bones," stated Fred firmly.
The boys decided to head back towards Gryffindor House while they worked out a plan to get past the three headed dog. Before they left Fred used his wand to lock the door again, to make sure they didn't leave behind any evidence of their presence. They had only gone a short distance before Lee put a hand up to stop them in their tracks.
"Shh," said Lee quickly, "I think I can hear someone coming."
The boys looked down the corridor; away from the direction of the three headed dog. Lee was right; a number of footsteps could be heard, they couldn't tell how many there were but they were definitely heading the boys' way as the sound was getting louder every second.
"Quick, in here," ordered George reaching for the closest classroom door and bounding inside.
Theyclosed the door as quietly as they could and tried to press their ears against it to hear anything they could from the corridor. Unfortunately the thick oak door on its own would have made it difficult to manage this task without the three boys pushing each other to try and get themselves into a better position.
"I think that is Peeves," whispered George, screwing his eyes up as he tried to concentrate on the sound of the voice.
"But we heard footsteps," Lee pointed out.
Any response that the twins were about to make was quickly forgotten. The shrill voice of Peeves suddenly bellowed from the corridor making all three of them jump back from the door.
"STUDENTS OUT OF BED! STUDENTS OUT OF BED DOWN THE CHARMS CORRIDOR!"
"How did he know?" Fred swore bitterly, "he didn't even see us."
"It's not us he's talking about," admitted George as the sound of hurried footsteps passed by the door, "there some other people out there."
"Do you think that'll matter to Filch if he catches us?" asked Lee, "sorry Filch, but Peeves didn't mean us."
"Damn," George swore, "I think I can hear Filch talking to Peeves. If he starts checking the classrooms we're dead. This is the only way in or out of this one."
"What do we do?" asked Lee urgently.
"Run for it," replied Fred to the astounded looks from the other two. He looked around the room they were in, "seriously we could do it. This room is the one we have our Charms lessons in which means the one opposite has a short cut through the tapestry at the back of the room…"
"Right," nodded George, "we used it last week to get down to the Potions class."
"Exactly," said Fred, "so we'll end up in the Dungeons and then we just make our way back to Gryffindor Tower from there."
"What about Filch?" said Lee, "he'll spot us the moment we leave the room."
"Pull your top up to hide your head," George dragged his t-shirt up over his head so that only his nose was poking out.
"Fair enough," shrugged Lee as Fred and he followed suit, "but he'll still chase us."
"So what?" asked Fred dismissively, "if we can't out run Filch then we deserve to be put in detention."
"Ready?" George looked back at the other two with his hand on the handle. All three looked very peculiar with their tops pulled up over their heads, especially as they bobbed up and down on the balls of their feet as they prepared to break into a run. "One…"
"Two…" mouthed Fred and Lee in unison
"Three," George pushed open the door and immediately flung a hand out to reach for the handle opposite.
"Hey!" barked Filch as the three boys shot across the corridor in a blur.
George led the way as he vaulted athletically over the teacher's desk as the head of the room and pushed through a large tapestry depicting some important battle. Behind the tapestry was a tight claustrophobic staircase that led spiralling down. The boys kept their hands pressed against the sides of the walls as they ran down the steps, a couple of times they stumbled in the dark but any thought of slowing down evaporated as they heard Filch pushing the tapestry to one side.
"Thought I didn't know about this secret stairway did you?" he voice echoed down from above, "I'll have you kicked out for this."
Finally George burst through another tapestry at the bottom of the stairwell in another corridor, without even waiting to get his bearings he shot off down the hallway. Fred did likewise, only momentarily pausing to see where his brother had gone after leaving the hidden passageway. Lee was last to exit into the dark dungeon corridor, he pulled his wand from his pocket and fired a spell at the stone floor in front of the tapestry before racing after the twins.
The boys turned down one corridor, then another, slaloming left and right in the dark tunnels. After two years of exploring the castle the twins had not only built up an extensive knowledge of the network of secret tunnels and passageways that were strewn about the school but also which ones Filch didn't know about.
George stopped to catch his breath in one hidden corridor that could only be entered if the correct enchantment was used to open it. Since Filch was a Squib it was definitely a safe place for them to rest.
"I… think… we… lost him," gasped Fred leaning his back against the wall and sliding down onto the floor.
"He… can't half… shift it… for an old man," admitted Lee doubled over at the waist.
"What was that spell you cast?" asked Fred when he finally got his breath back.
"Shoe Sticking Spell," explained Lee, still taking large gulps of air, "I figured it might slow him down a bit."
"Good thinking," said George appreciatively, "although I would have gone with an Ice Sheen Charm, that would have guaranteed to make him fall over."
"He probably would have skidded and broken his leg if I'd used that."
"And your point is?"
"Is it too late to go back?" Lee wondered.