Ever wonder what our two super-assassins are doing when they're not working? :D

Normal's the New Crazy

At some point, Tony didn't know exactly when, it had become quite normal to see the Hawk in the kitchen, preparing food. Especially breakfast. That guy obviously always got up early. Tony wasn't surprised to find out that Clint liked to go running before breakfast and that, sometimes, Captain Prim 'n' Proper joined him. Of course, you had to keep fit when you were working for SHIELD. And running was a good way to start the day. When you weren't Tony Stark.

What really threw him, what he, the genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist hadn't seen coming, was Romanoff doing the dishes. Tony stared at her. She arched an eyebrow at him and gave him The Look, so he decided not to ask. He decided, in fact, that he must have been hallucinating – the infamous Black Widow doing the dishes? C'mon! – and didn't mention it to anyone. He also made a mental note to check his liquor cabinet to see whether anyone had maybe spiked his Scotch with – well, something.

He was pretty sure he wasn't hallucinating, though, when Pepper invited Tasha to join her for a "girls' day out" and they returned in the evening, packed with bags from various store that he was pretty sure didn't sell any kinds of deadly weapons, merrily chatting with each other.

He walked up to the two women.
"Alright, who are you and what have you done to Agent Romanoff?" he asked.

Tasha looked at him as if he were some kind of curious insect.

Pepper just shook her head.

Then, they resumed their chatting – and digging around bags – and completely ignored him.

And then came the day when Tony found the two super-spies and master assassins not exactly cuddling on the couch watching American Idol.

"Okay. Right. That's it."
He stepped between the two and the TV screen and folded his arms across his chest.
"What the hell is going on here?" he demanded.

"Hey!"
Clint craned his neck, trying to look past him.
"Would you mind? We're watching that."

"Yes, exactly – that's just what I'm saying. You –"
Tony pointed at Clint and Tasha.
"- are watching that!"
He turned and pointed at the TV.

The other two exchanged a look – one of those looks that told him some silent communication was taking place between them. Tasha raised her eyebrows. Clint shrugged.

"So?" he said, looking up at Tony.

"So – you cooking. Okay. That might just be some kind of – of – I don't know, spy-paranoia or something. Making sure no one poisons your food."
Clint opened his mouth to say something but Tony cut him off.
"Her doing the dishes – well, I probably was drunk or drugged or whatever."

Tasha's gaze took on a slightly amused quality but she remained silent.

"And going shopping with Pepper obviously can be put down to practicing to behave inconspicuously. Like a normal person. But this here –"
Again, Tony waved a hand at the TV.

Clint took in a deep breath.
"Okay, first of all: I like cooking. I originally learned it because of those SHIELD field rations. I don't like them, Tasha doesn't like them and since she couldn't dress a salad to save her life, it was up to me."

Tasha nodded.

"As for the rest:" Clint went on, "we're still normal people, right? Well, as normal as you get to be when you're part of the Avengers Initiative or working for SHIELD ..."

"Don't tell me you're the kind of normal people who would willingly watch this crap."
Tony glared at him.

Clint laughed and Tasha definitely looked amused no.

"Yeah, well, you know, sometimes you just gotta go crazy. Do some crazy stuff, right? I'm sure you know that feeling."

Tony nodded.

"So, what do people do when they wanna go crazy?" Clint asked.

Tony shrugged.

"Dunno. Bungee Jumping? Skydiving? Drive in the Grand Prix in Monte Carlo?"

"Yes, well, we get to do that kind of stuff all the time"", Clint told him. "So if we wanna go crazy –"

Tony, of course, immediately got it.
"- you do normal stuff. Like doing the dishes or going shopping."

"Exactly."
Clint nodded.
"Now, would you please move out of the way or do I have to take more drastic measures than asking nicely?"

Tony raised his hands and left, satisfied to know that neither was he going mad, nor had their two resident assassins been replaced by doppelgangers.