All characters are owned by George Macdonald except whatever OC's that I manage to come up with, purely fan made and inspired after reading all the great PatG fanfics
White lilies lined the edge of ever counter, wrapped together in black ribbon, which acted like a silk chain to choke the life and beauty out of every pretty flower that day in the castle.
A large congregation had placed themselves just outside of the palace doors but an even larger gathering had formed on the outside of the palace walls, mostly made from commoners and farmers.
It wasn't raining that day; in fact the gloomy atmosphere hanging about every corridor in the palace was contrasted with the sun pouring through every open window. Nevertheless, though the day was beautiful it had to be the saddest day the people of the kingdom had seen in a long time.
Gabriel now had a new child to care for and a beloved queen to mourn after and he could hardly believe either had happened.
He could not regret Irene's existence, because that would mean that Angelica's sacrifice would be nothing more than a bitter grudge to wrap around the King, but even he, in the darkest of moments, would lock himself away from the light and let the darkness ebb away at his broken heart.
He grabbed the golden band that was his crown and bore it upon his head with two hands, lowering it so that the soft orange locks on top just bent slightly under the weight.
In the mirror his figure seemed a little more hunched as if the great mass of being King suddenly crippled his spirit within a fortnight.
He sighed, backing away from the grey image before him and stumbled a bit to the crib beside his own bed.
The crib would have to be moved soon, he could bare the child to be in the same room as his, "I will have her closer to the nurse maids," he thought quietly, "at least there she will get the attention that young princess needs."
More than he would ever be able to provide, he remarked and let his hand fall into the crib, brushing against the small chubby cheek of his daughter, her little eyes blinking back up at him as if they were born to question him from the very moment they stared at him.
It's better this way.
He didn't want to be alone now when he was most vulnerable, but when you are King, being vulnerable was not an option, now that the Kingdom was mourning it was he, as fate would have it, that would have to comfort the Kingdom for the loss of their queen.
But what of he?
Surely losing his wife was far worse than the loss experienced when one loses a simple figure head.
But the King above all people could not think in such a way, to do this was to lose his regale form. If thoughts of this nature ever entered his conscious thoughts. In his subconscious is where they would stay, thrown in the cellar of his deepest desire and regrets because above all it was not his needs that kept the Kingdom alive and thriving.
At this point when his daughter had only just entered the world he would not put her inheritance into jeopardy by losing faith with is kingdom.
The King had to be strong, stronger than most in fact.
He had no time to let the pain sink in when healing it was the most important thing at the moment.
He heard their weeping, weeping the undoubtedly carried across the city walls and all throughout the kingdom, and the King lamented with them, it was all he could do right now.
But he would have to be the strong, hand, the firm back to carry this weight. It had to be him. Because if not him then nothing would heal and this wound in his heart would fester with bitterness and guilt in the coming years only to rot a hole through his very soul.
The time had come now.
He had to address the Kingdom hanging onto the frayed rope that was his strength, they would gather what courage they could from him and then depart back to their homes and their lives and their world.
Here in this palace is where he would stew, stolid and unmoving like a pebble dropped into a torrent of water.
They would seek comfort with him and rejoice in the child's successful birth.
Yes, the birth of the child was truly a blessing in these dark times. Her survival and health would be the beacon that this place needed to guide it.
Everyone loved the princess, for who could hate a young princess that would be the next ruler after he should depart from this world.
But he could hardly look at her, this beacon of hope.
This precious miracle.
How could he take care of such a small delicate thing when he himself felt so weak he could barely carry himself? But now he alone is settled with the future of a little girl? The heir to his throne...
And what love could he offer when most of it had been cut out from his very body when the Queen died?
The King could only stare at the precious miracle for a second at most before he bit his lower lip and exited the door, leaving the little babe on her on as the nurse came into the room as he left.
Without touching the maid he commanded her attention and pointed back to the room where the crib lined with white lilies rested on its own.
"Please take her to the nursery, I wanted her looked after while I am away." The nurse nodded without a word but as the King left the room there must have been some change in the air or shock of emotion because the child was soon crying before the nurse even began to move the crib.
The King, clutching his hands tightly into fists let himself walk away, one foot at a time, just as if it were any other day but a tremendous pull caused him to slow down in pace.
His cape flowed back and forth with each step and the terrified wails coming from the hall perpendicular to the one he walked now. It would be hard to stop; Gabriel just let his feet take him away, a mechanical motion that required no thought and little emotion, like the tides pulling away at the shore line.
Gabriel let his feet take him far away from this reality that choked him silently and the longer he let his feet control his movements without emotion or thought, the longer he could shut out all the painful memories from his mind.
It might have been better this way.
It might not.
One thing was for certain.
It was easier.
So I wanted to give a reason for why Irene's father never spent any time with her, more than just 'matters of state.' So basically, like many new parents doesn't know if he'll be able to do what's best for his child and doesn't want to make a mistake with her.
As you'll see in future chapters Gabriel wasn't the only one who was hit hard by the death of Angelica 0.0
This chapter was based off of 'Stop and Stare' by One Republic which is an incredibly sad song that I feel is about loss and moving on:
Stop and Stare
I think I'm moving
but I go nowhere
Yah I know that everyone get's scared
But I've become what I can't be
Do you see what I see?