Chapter 3: Dreams

A/N: let me just start off saying that I'm really sorry for those of you that read this and have waited this long for me to update. At the time I had actually written this chapter and I was about to type it up. However, at the time my sister miscarried and I got caught up with grieving and I just stopped writing all together. I had no will or inspiration to write and a lot of classes that required me to write, I began to fail. Now, I'm ok and I'm going to be returning to this story and I will continue it to the best of my ability. I don't exactly remember what I had planned for this but it should be fun. =)

My body was tingling and I was on fire. The desire for release was growing with each passing moment. The pressure that was building in my core had me writhing and bucking for some kind of reprieve. The closer I was getting to my release the more pressure that was building inside of me. The intensity of it had my toes curling and my fingers tangled in the sheets

I felt the wave of my release descending upon me. I closed my eyes and smiled because my release was on the horizon. Joy was coursing through my body. I needed this, being constantly stressed all of the time and sex deprived; I needed this to help me sleep well tonight. I bit my lip as my body began to tense up and then the mouth at my core stopped its beautiful work.

I wanted to cry from his withdrawal. I wanted this release. I wanted the explosion of color behind my eyes. I wanted my back to arch and I wanted my voice hoarse the next day from screaming out his name. I huffed out in frustration. This wasn't fair. To get me close and then to pull away wasn't fair. I guess saying no to him for so long pissed him off. However, when you have sex, you don't withhold one of the sweetest things in the world such as an orgasm. You give it to them; you don't stop before they have reached their pinnacle. It was no better than stealing.

Not too soon did I feel his lips pressed against my moist opening as a kiss was placed there. His lips, soft as velvet, moved up my tightly wound body, never missing an inch of skin. His lips left a hot molten trail of what felt like lava all over me. His hands trailed behind, cool to the touch they traveled up and down my body and gradually quelled my scorching skin.

He kissed the base of my neck and ran his tongue the rest of the way up to my lips but he didn't kiss me. I wouldn't expect him to. For him, sex was sex, nothing passionate and I liked it that way. I needed it to be that way so that I could walk away with no regrets. Kissing was too intimate for us and it would only confuse things for me because to me kisses are something that isn't given out sparingly. Sex is raw and primal, but when you bring a kiss into it, it becomes something more than just sex. Kissing ruins sex and turns it into love making. Tonight I wanted to be a whore and not someone's lover.

I stared into his cold blue eyes. Looking into them was like looking out a window during a cold winter day. However, inside two people were warm from their bodies being pressed closely together in a sexual encounter. He smirked down at me. Gah, he is so sexy but I would never tell him, it would only add fuel to his narcissistic fire. I could never be this asshole's lover. One night stand, but never his lover.

I closed my eyes and threw my head to the side. I just wanted him to take me and that be it. There was no need to drag things out. Get in and get out. He sensed my impatience and rubbed his engorged head against my dripping opening. His smirk deepened (if that was even possible)as his tip was coated with my juices. I let out a shaky moan from the suggestive contact (has it been anything but thus far?). "How badly do you want it?'' he more said than asked.

I shuddered at his voice. I wanted him badly. His teasing was turning painful, my body wanted it's release but he wouldn't give it to me. My center ached and throbbed from being so close to the edge but with no one to push us over," I need you inside of me.'' I managed to gasp.

"Say my name.'' he said as he roughly entered me.

"Tahno!" I screamed.

My eyes flew open from the horrifying dream. I would never subject myself to having sex with Tahno. Not even if he bathed in battery acid and scrubbed vigorously with steel wool. I wouldn't be another notch in his headboard. I may not be a person that looks upon sex as this big deal, like save yourself for marriage? I believe that you should be able to test the car you are about to drive but that doesn't mean to try out every car in the lot. You can act as a whore but don't become one. If that makes any sense? At the end of the day I'm a lady that is willing to engage in sex with a man that thinks of me as a mere conquest. I will have sex but on my terms and I will say yes or no to as many men as I want and the list of "no" is looking pretty long.

I very do believe that a lot of men are not good enough to be with me. I respect myself to be picky with the man that I choose to take me to their bed. If I think your teeth are bad, then sorry, it's not going to happen. If I think your face is jacked, talk to someone else because I'm not interested. I may not be the best looking girl in the world but I do deserve to choose who I spread my legs to. In all honesty, I would more likely have sex with a guy that treated me right than a guy that was a scumbag… like Tahno. Guys like him are the reason why I've only slept with one guy.

I wiped the sweat from my forehead. My shirt was clinging to me like a second skin and my room felt humid. Really I was just hot. I kicked off my blanket that was becoming too hot to be covered in. I moaned out as my thighs rubbed together in the action and brought me back to the thought that I was… Between my thighs I was still throbbing but this time it wasn't painful. It was telling me that I had reached my peak and had now plummeted to the ground. I was dirty my dream of Tahno was making my stomach turn but at the same time my face was flushed.

I threw myself back against my pillow and screamed into it with all of what I had. I can't believe that I had had a dream with the guy that I hated beyond belief. In that dream I had had sex with him. I didn't put up a fight. I allowed him to grab my knees and hold me wide open for him. I was out for display stark naked under a guy that I wanted nothing to do with. He had had me screaming underneath him as he drove himself deep into… I screamed again as I became wet at the clear recollection of the dream. At that moment I wished that bleach for the brain existed so that I could bleach away this memory that only I was aware of. As far as Tahno knows, he has never touched me….ok fucked me. If he had somehow found out that I dreamed of him, he would get the notion that I was interested, when that fact was that I was nowhere near interested in him. This was just a dream and dreams have a meaning behind them right? So by me dreaming of Tahno, the inner machinations of my mind were probably telling me that I needed to try something new or take a risk…Not necessarily with Tahno but maybe with something that scared me?

I fucking hate dreams. They make things confusing and weird. Instead of using symbolism, why couldn't my brain just be like "hey bitch! You need to have some fun!" instead it makes me dream of shit like spilling milk or something random like that and there is some symbolic meaning behind it that I'm supposed to know. They are complicated and the reason why I hate the movie inception.

Finally deciding that I needed a bath and some breakfast, I crawled out of bed. I scrubbed myself with a great amount of exuberant force. I was passed the point of exfoliating. I could still feel Tahno's hands all over me as if he had really been touching me. Everything had felt so real as if he had really been inside of me and using me. I could still feel his cool fingers gripping my wrists and his hips pounding into me with a bruising force that I had loved. I hit my head against the wall and turned up the heat in my shower to scalding. I feel so dirty.

I added a little salt to the cooking eggs in front of me. The delicious scent wafting through the air made my stomach growl. Mmm breakfast I thought silently to myself. Bacon, eggs, toast are all of the components to a fantastic breakfast. Everyone should wake up to the smell of a southern morning, with food on the table and a happy family sitting around a table and just enjoying each other's company. My family back in Texas was just my mother and I but we were still a family that shared our mornings like I love to remember.

In Japan this family, wasn't a real family. No morning breakfast together with conversations on how things were going. Everyone stayed to themselves and ate in separate rooms. In this place I have been accepted as a daughter but I felt like an orphan none the less because an orphan has no family. Here I didn't feel like I was a part of a family. Here I just took up space and was tolerated by strangers. I would rather be an orphan than have to live here.

Mimi walked in and looked over my shoulder and scrutinized my breakfast. She made a face at the bacon that was cooking and turned up her nose,''You know,'' she began,''I think that's why your fat.'' She said in an almost nice tone.

I rolled my eyes at her rudeness,'' I'm sorry that the only meat that you allow in your mouth is a dick.'' I said as I took the eggs off of the heat.

She laughed light heartedly,' 'No for real, you could be really hot if you lost like twenty pounds.''

"I'm fine with my size.'' I looked her up and down. She was pretty I give her that. She had high cheek bones peppered with freckles, honestly they were cute. I didn't have freckles and I would like some. Her hair was naturally wavy and fell down her shoulders so perfectly that it was almost unnatural. Her eyes were a deep amber pool that sparkled when her white teeth sparkled. Her only flaw was that she weighed like fifteen pounds soaking wet. She was very small and petite and her breasts and ass were small like her hips. Yet somehow men like to have sex with bones. "I think you should gain weight. Maybe you should stop throwing up your meals, you might actually look healthy. You look like Eponine from Les Miserables.''

She frowned at me,''If you looked like me, you might actually be able to attract a guy.''

"Fuck you bitch. Guys like curves.''

She shrugged,''Prude.''

"Slut.''

She laughed genuinely,''You know it.'' She tossed her head back and laughed harder and sauntered out of the room. I turned back to my food and stabbed my eggs with my fork and ate in silence.

A/N: I hope you all like the chapter. Review, let me know what's up, tell me what you all think should happen next. Critique and don't be shy to comment =). Goodnight.