A/N: Sorry this hasn't been updated in a long time. I hope this chapter passes muster because I haven't even proofread this thing which I've dug up from the deepest corner of my hetalia folder. Sorry for the wait guys! I did not mean to throw this crappy part-crack part-fluff fic at y'all. Sorry for the lack of medical OB stuff for those of you who are interested in it, but I work in the effing ER and have promptly forgotten shit about OB like why am I still writing this pregnancy fic?! Standard warnings and disclaimers apply.
When Roderich's concert tour in Brazil had ended and he had flown back home, he was greeted at the airport by an excitable Gillian who grinned that wild wolf's grin of hers before quickly waddling towards him despite the crowd pressing against her. It was shocking how she had the energy to literally jump into his arms with the way her pregnancy had progressed and added to her weight, and it was a miracle he had the energy and strength to carry her for the entire five minutes that she cuddled and kissed him senseless in public no less.
It was slightly embarrassing when some passersby who recognized him promptly took pictures and he had to let his wife go to bury his face into the crook of her neck to hide the blush threatening to grace his cheeks. Who knew if those pictures would make it to some tabloid; he would very much like to keep his privacy, thank you.
"Loving your moment of fame, Roddy? Would you like to celebrate with some congratulatory sex right now?" Gillian murmured before bursting into delighted laughter at the scandalized look Roderich shot her.
"Not loving the walk of partial embarrassment and the amount of PDA we're having, love. We're in public; can you tone down the enthusiastic affection, just a bit until we get home?" Roderich replied, dragging his suitcase behind him as they made their way through the throng of new arrivals, departing passengers and airline staff.
"Oh come on!" Gillian wailed, "You've been gone for quite a while. Can't I greet my husband the way I want? I'm showing the entire Roderich fanbase that I'm still his number one fan." She allowed Roderich to draw her close to him as they walked out of the airport. Roderich cast a fond look at her as he maneuvered his heavy suitcase more comfortably to his other side so as not to jostle Gillian from her position next to him. It wouldn't do to have his very pregnant wife stumble in public, her pride bruised easily and she did the most audacious things when embarrassed.
He couldn't help but admire the healthy glow of pregnancy surrounding her and the way she wasn't as wild and boisterous as before, so he softened his tone into one of good-natured teasing when he replied, "No, you can't just do what you want, Gil, it irritates people and yes, you're always number one, everybody knows that because you continue to broadcast your so-called awesomeness.
" But I've noticed something strange with you, darling, because everything that spouted out of your mouth just now was too sappy, even by your standards. What have you been eating while I was away?"
Gillian pouted at the nagging whine at the end of his question.
"Sugar," She replied blandly, jaw set in an attempt to appear serious.
"Lots of sugar and other delicious stuff I cannot pronounce from Franny's kitchen. Don't ask, but I think he tried to spike all my meals with some form of aphrodisiac since he claimed to have read that the second trimester of pregnancy is the best time to engage in raunchy sex even when I told him I had no inclination to do it with him, and that I'm actually nearing the third trimester.
"So I threatened him with the idea that he might harm the baby in some way if he continued to be a dick. Franny stopped attempting anything of the sort afterwards and every dish he cooked for me was tasteless as hell. However, the seafood dish Tonio made to make up for the French culinary disaster was quite scrumptious so no harm done. I think it evened out the score in the food war they've started for my sake."
"Gil! I told you to stay at Ludwig's instead of Francis's. I knew something like this would happen but why did you not listen to me?"
They stopped completely in front of the exit, blocking the way and causing passersby to grumble at them. Roderich tamped down on the familiar feeling of worry and slight paranoia that Gillian had just spent time in hell while he was away.
"Nah, Roddy I was fine!" Gillian rambled on, "Don't worry your pretty head about my stay at Franny's because Tonio's been keeping him in check. I did stay at Luddy's house for a bit just as you suggested, but then I had no idea he had invited his lover to stay with him as well. Did you know that I endured every night of my stay overhearing him and his sweet Italian lover engaging in extremely hot and kinky marathon sex in the room next to mine, and in the kitchen too?! I wish we had sex as kinky as theirs; it would be ten times more awesome I bet!
"Also, I caught them doing it on my favorite sofa which I always thought was off-limits to their kinky sex games. I had to burn that thing, Roddy; it was tainted with who knows what! Every damn night I couldn't sleep with all that BDSM filth they've been doing in the next room so I moved to Franny's to spare the baby from overhearing their brand of dirty talk."
Gillian stopped to see that Roderich's face had gone a brilliant shade of red. "Were you really that worried about them?"
"I'm not worried about your crazy brother and your equally crazy friends, I'm worried about you!" he sputtered.
"Aww, you're sweet when you're high on your music mumbo-jumbo! Just, eeugh! I'm done with the sappy shit; can we go now? I think me and this baby's done with excitement for today." Gillian then proceeded to drag him out of the gate and to the side so as not to further inconvenience other people exiting the airport.
They stared at the long line of passengers waiting for taxis until Roderich thought of a slightly better idea.
"Is your brother busy or can he pick us up instead? I don't think we have enough money for a taxi ride home."
"You're just a penny-pinching sod with a stick up his ass. Fine, call the brute, but we're not staying over his house until he gets his shit together."
After several minutes trying to contact Ludwig, and another several minutes more waiting for him to arrive, Gillian's feet began to ache. "Still want to wait for my bumbling brother instead of hailing a cab?" she groused before yanking Roderich's suitcase out of his hand, setting it on the ground and promptly sitting on it. Roderich opened his mouth to say something about the misuse of his suitcase but another glare from Gillian made him think twice about complaining. They both breathed a sigh of relief when they spotted Ludwig's car heading towards them.
Ludwig looked frazzled as he waited for them to get settled. his hair stuck up at odd angles instead of its usually neat, slicked back style. He had a suit that looked like it had never seen an iron and a tie looped messily around his neck. Roderich thought it best not to comment on anything for now while Gillian merely shot her brother a questioning glance. "Step on it, Luddy." she said, and wished she could take the words back when he did just that.
The ride out of the airport and through the city care of Ludwig was terrifying to say the least since the idiot, after spilling the beans about his unkempt state, confessed that he was rushing for a date. 'Of course he would do such a thing as this at such a bad time,'Roderich thought as they made their way at breakneck speed along the streets.
Ludwig must have planned this whole date of his a day or two before Roderich returned and had probably mixed up his entire schedule (which was extremely rare for him.) It felt eerily like Roderich was riding a rollercoaster to hell instead of a perfectly respectable German-made car as Ludwig stepped on the accelerator and drove like mad towards the restaurant where his date waited; it did not help that the love-struck idiot answered his phone by setting it to loudspeaker. The death metal contraption was plunged in the blaring noise of high pitched squealing and screeching as Ludwig's Italian lover made his distress known by wailing. The cries blasting through the phone's loudspeaker was giving everyone a headache.
Gillian was singing a lullaby turned rock song and head-banging at random intervals just to drown out the one-sided conversation. Surely Luddy's soft replies to console his date couldn't possibly be heard over the abysmal racket!
Roderich hoped their child would not come out abnormal after all this. Oh he dearly, desperately hoped not! They were being tossed around like bouncing balls despite how tightly the seat belts were lashed with the way Ludwig drove; sheer right turns or lefts, and vomit-inducing swerving through traffic.
The screeching coming from Ludwig's phone was slightly panicky verging on hysterical with heavily accented Italian crying out why 'sweet macho sex god luddy' wasn't 'at the restaurant yet, you're five minutes late' and that 'people are staring at me and it's scary, please come save me!'
In the cramped space of the car all of them could hear the voices of the restaurant staff in the background trying to placate the wails and whines steadily increasing in volume and intensity. At this point, Roderich wondered how Ludwig's phone wasn't yet broken by such high-pitched noise; his eardrums definitely ached now. Gillian was squirming in her seat as she felt her baby rouse in distress and make it's displeasure known by violent kicks. If they didn't make it in five minutes she was hurling Ludwig's phone out the window consequences be damned!
Ludwig's driving had degenerated considerably, it was atrocious and bordering on illegally fast; speeding through several red lights, swerving and overtaking other cars, and nearly running over pedestrians in his haste to get to his date.
Gillian gave up on sensibility and possibly even sanity as she laughed her head off and said it was good experience for the baby to live on the wild side all the while holding onto her seat with a death grip. Beside her Roderich clutched at his suitcase as tightly as he could, his seat belt tight around him as his glasses wobbled, perched precariously on his nose after a particularly violent left turn. Who knew stiff, law-abiding Ludwig would break every rule for an Italian?
They reached the restaurant in record time, Ludwig completely forgetting that he had passengers and left them in favor of dashing into the restaurant to save whatever was left of the catastrophic date he had.
Roderich slumped into his seat and took huge gulps of air to try and calm his erratically thumping heart, thanking the powers that be that he was still alive after being on a death ride. Gillian took one look at her hyperventilating husband and patted his shoulder consolingly. She still felt a little nauseous after that one last U-turn that had everyone screaming.
"Come on Roddy, at least we can admit that that's true love. Luddy's got it bad for his sweet Feli and it's rather awesome that he'd do everything in his power just to make the poor sod happy, plus they seriously look adorable together. The ride has made me hungry though. Wanna have lunch here with the two lovebirds or we can cross the street, there's a pretty good pizza place."
Unlocking her seat belt she got out of the car on unsteady legs with aching feet and waited for Roderich to do the same. Gillian sighed and murmured to herself about 'wimpy Roddy', rubbing her considerably large, swollen belly as she leaned against the car to catch her breath and wait for her husband to compose himself. When he finally came out of the cramped metal death trap that was Ludwig's car, he looked calm and put-together albeit on rather shaky legs, so she took his hand and gave him a grin that was probably meant to be assuring but came out partly feral.
"Why don't we go on a date too, just the three of us? No pesky brother and pansy Italian lover. Just you, me and the baby on a lunch date 'cause I'm hella hungry and just want to sit on plush seats that don't wobble."
"Hate to agree with you at this point, love, but that's a good idea. I don't want to be anywhere near your brother right now. He's a health hazard and I don't want him influencing our child in some way. The pizza place sounds fantastic if you want to come down with fatty liver though I hope they have alcohol." He matched his wife's grin with one of his own and Gillian startled.
"Alcohol? What the hell have you done to my Roderich?! You don't drink alcohol, my beloved prissy prince! Don't tempt me either. What's the deal, drinking so early in the morning?" Gillian growled.
Roderich shot her a look that clearly told her he thought she was an idiot right now. "Drinking to forget about your brother's antics, love. I want to forget that you even told me of Ludwig's sex life in the first place. Plus, I want to purge that ride from my system."
"Well…if that's the case, let's just spike your coffee, okay?"
Instead of the pizza place, Gillian fished out her wallet and begrudgingly spent money on a cab to take them someplace that fit right up Roderich's alley since her suggestion of pizza was shot down rather vehemently with a long health rant. Gillian knew Roderich had delicate sensibilities and rather delicate tastes, so they stopped right in front of Cafe Pruckel and Roderich nearly fainted. Gillian grinned that shark grin of hers and half-dragged him inside where she proceeded to give him what could possibly be the best date he'd ever had in quite a long time since they hooked up.
Stomachs full and sated, they lingered for a while; Roderich allowing himself to slouch in his seat, Gillian playing with her leftovers.
"I know you worship the coffee they brew here and that you used to play the piano in this very sacred shrine of yours some nights back when we weren't a couple," she began. "So I asked around while you were away and most of the regulars confirmed that you came here for its coziness, its old fashioned look and the poetry reading by that one guy you really adored, but I think our kid should experience what you've experienced.
"It doesn't mean I want our kid to be a stuck-up, penny-pinching, prissy prince of expensive coffee though. but I did this for you 'cause I love you. Whaddaya say? Am I awesome or am I fucking awesome?" She flashed Roderich a watery smile, eyes gleaming brightly with tears unshed.
Roderich gave a sniff as he tried to hold back tears of his own at the surprise confession. "Yes, Gil, you're fucking awesome. Thank you for this. You didn't have to." He reached out and held Gillian's hands in his own, offering a smile in return. Gillian beamed, no trace of mischief or mockery in her eyes this time.
Roderich breathed deeply before continuing, "I'm supposed to be the one planning dates and taking you to fancy places and spending money on extravagant gifts because you deserve so much. I don't know what to say." He got up, crossing the space separating them to press a kiss to her forehead. Gillian made a face but didn't move away, wrapping her arms around his neck instead to draw him close as much as her swollen belly allowed.
"You don't have to say anything, Roddy. I guess I just had to show you I do love you, y'know, since all I ever do around the house most of the time is be a nuisance. I know lots of your friends think I don't love you as much as you love me but, I'm giving you this awesome baby, yeah? I love you enough to give you a part of my awesomeness, and plan you somethin' nice too!" This time tears ran down Gillian's flushed cheeks as she looked at him. She swiped at them quickly before pushing him back down with a weak grin. "So sit back and relax, hubby of mine, I'm treating you to the awesomest lunch date ever!" she declared.
Not even a beat passed when a cry of delight bubbled out of her lips as she shot out of her seat to jostle against Roderich's side. She grabbed his hand and placed it on top of her belly. "Ooh can you feel that? The baby agrees too, here, put your hand here, and here!"
They did have an awesome lunch date. The celebratory sex that topped Ludwig and Feli's performance came later when Roderich and Gillian finally returned home. They had to get rid of all the hidden cameras Francis had littered around their house though, and they would also vehemently deny to owning a sex tape.
A/N: As always, please review because they make my day and give me inspiration to continue this thing (which should have ended like 3 years ago, but not, because I am slow.) I'm sorry if this chapter is basically comes off as crack with a dash of fluff. I didn't expect the fluff. idk how many chapters more.