Life during a war
Chapter 2: Pregnant
It has been a week since Tobias, Susan, Caleb and I came to the factionless. The war started three weeks ago, after my last week of initiation. I have been sick all week, Tobias is worried, I can tell, he won't let me do much either. Right now I am sitting outside on a patch of grass and someone comes up to me, sitting next to me on the green grass. I look to my side and see Susan, giving me a small smile. I smile back at her but I feel the need to puke, so I turn to my other side so I don't throw up on her. She rubs my back as I puke, like Tobias does, it's comforting. When I'm done she gives me a bottle of water and I drink from it. "Are you feeling better now?" She asks.
"Yeah. Thank you." I answer.
"Beatrice, have you and Tobias, you know, done… it?" She asks shyly. Why would she ask me that? I think to myself.
"Yeah." I say.
"When?" She asks.
"About five weeks ago, why?" I reply.
"You have been sick for a week; you're always hungry or tired. Have you missed a period?" She asks.
"Shit." I say, I now realise why she's asking me these questions now. I have missed a period, but I put that down to the stress of living during a war. She gives me a white box with two simple words on it. 'Pregnancy test'. "Where did you get that?" I ask.
"I found a stash of them in a closet and figured you might need one." She tells me.
"Can you come with me?" I ask.
She nods and stands up before holding her hand out for me. We walk to the female toilet and I go into one of the cubicles, she waits outside. I open the box and read the instructions before peeing on the end of the stick, like it says. I flush the toilet, close the lid and wait for three minutes, like it says. Except, I'm not counting. I just sit there staring at the little white stick that is going to show me if my life is going to change drastically or not. Not just my life, but Tobias' life. And we're fighting a war.
I'm still staring at the test when the word 'pregnant' appears on the screen. I feel tears pooling in my eyes and I can't control them as they fall down my cheeks. "Beatrice?" I hear Susan say. But I continue to cry. I'm having a baby in a war. I could die. Tobias could die. He or she could die. "I'm going to get Tobias." She says before leaving the room. I just sit there and cry.
It isn't long before I hear the door open again. "Tris." Tobias says. I stand up and open the door, still crying. I can tell he is worried by the look on his face and the fact that he runs to me and catches me as my knees buckle from underneath me and I fall to the ground. He holds me as I cry into his shirt. The test still clutched in my hand. "Hey. What's wrong?" He says after a few minutes of silence. I give him the test and he's shocked.
"We're fighting a war and I'm pregnant. What if you die, or I die, or the baby dies?" I cry and he just holds me.
"It's going to be all right. I promise. We're going to be fine. All of us are going to be fine." He says and I feel one of his tears fall onto my head. He places one of his hands on my stomach and I look up at him to see him crying. "I love you, Tris, I love the baby too." He says.
"I love you, Tobias." I say before kissing him. I place my hand over his one that is on my stomach. "I can't do this without you. Just promise you won't leave me, I know that you won't let me fight now. Just promise you won't die." I say.
"I promise I won't die, or leave you and the baby. I love you too much." He says. "And you're right; you're not going to fight anything. You're going to relax and keep you and the baby healthy and safe. I'll make sure someone is always with you though, so you don't get lonely and just in case something happens." He adds.
"I just wish my mum was here. I always wanted her to be there if I ever had children." I say and new tears fall down my cheeks.
"Hey, I'm here. I always will be. I'll be there to hold your hand when you give birth. I'll be there to rub your feet and your back if you want me to. I'll be there to get you food when you need or want it. I'll be there for all of it. I promise." He says.
"But we're in a war. You're going to need to do things, like fight." I say.
"But I'll be with you most of the time. I'll spend more time with you and our baby than I will fighting. I promise." He says.
"I know you will." I say.
"Just promise me to try not to stress or do anything stupid. I want you and our unborn child to be safe and healthy." He says.
"I promise." I say before yawning.
"Let's get you back to bed so you can get some sleep." He says before standing, picking me up, bridal style, as he does. He carries me out of the room and to our mattress that is on the floor and really uncomfortable. He lays me down gently and tucks me in before placing a kiss on my head.
"Stay with me." I say.
"Always." He says as he lays down beside me and wraps his arm around my waist. That is the last thing I hear before I drift into a peaceful sleep.
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