Severus sat on his usual stool at his usual bar drinking his usual beer. For once, he wasn't working, he wasn't even staring at Pauline, he was staring into the bottom of his beer glass. As though the amber liquid was a pensive, Severus could see the past night playing out like a film.

For better-or-worse Heads of Houses' were responsible for the welfare of the students in their house. Although Severus recognized that he wasn't the first person many parents would choose to leave their child with, he did take his responsibility to act in loco parentis seriously. Consequently, it had not been the first time that he had been woken up in the middle of the night by the on-duty Professor.

Occasionally it was scary: a student was sick, distraught, or otherwise in danger. Mostly it was just annoying: chastising students for sneaking out indulge their hormones or for coercing the house-elves into giving them free food while wearing a house-coat and trying to look sufficiently disapproving.

When Professor McGonnogal had woken Severus up, he had been fully-annoyed and not the least bit concerned. Draco Malfoy had his good points, but he was a mischievous brat the moment Severus heard about duels and dragons, he knew Draco was just being a pain, and Severus was tired and in no mood to walk the fine-line he always had to walk when he was around Draco.

When he had shlepped to the Transfiguration classroom, it was not just Draco there. There was also Harry, looking somehow miserable, defiant and completely careless all at the same boy's brilliant green eyes had flickered to Severus momentarily, and his face had turned stoney.

Then all those words were said. Severus knew he had not handled the Harry Potter situation with as much grace as he probably should have. Completely not acknowledging Harry's presence was childish and socially awkward at best, cruel at worst. Still, Severus hadn't appreciated that not talking to Harry had actually hurt the child until Harry had yelled at him and ran off.

For a crazy moment, Severus had considered running after him, but the hem of Sirius' robes had already flipped around the door as he chased after the sound of Harry's trainers. Severus had just stood there, feeling stupid.

Thankfully, he hadn't had Harry in class on Friday, and he had been able to distract himself from the whole situation until he arrived at his preferred bar stool. A pint of lager was pushed in front of him.

"Hard day?" Hamish asked. Severus jerked his head up, ready to snap at Hamish for deigning to speak to him while he was brooding. Hamish just smiled down at him from behind his thick-framed glasses. He was just trying to be kind. Severus really wasn't in a position to insult people who took the risk to be kind to him.

Instead of snapping, he tilted his head in acknowledgement of Hamish's statement.

"Ah well, this one's on the house for you then, laddie. Things'll turn around." Hamish gave him a sympathetic smile. Feeling oddly touched at the offer of sympathy Severus smiled tightly and watched Hamish limp back to the far end of the bar to take the order to two new witches who had walked in. With a sigh, Severus took a sip of beer went back to watching Pauline across the street.

The last few times he had watched her, he had thought of her almost as an abstract entity. He was more entranced by the knowledge that she had been his wife than the actual memory of her being his wife. It had hurt too much to draw on the particulars, but now he remembered how secure he felt when she held his hand, how patient and understanding she had been as they talked through issues for hours at a time. Right now, he wanted that Ghangzou Pauline. He wanted to tell her about how hard the last few months had been, how uncertain he was, even how miserable.

"I thought I might find you here," Sirius said from behind him, causing Severus to nearly jump out of his skin.

"Wha -" Severus said stupidly. "What are you doing here?" Sirius slipped on the stool beside him, looking casually handsome in a white collared shirt, black blazer and jeans.

"Do you have Muggle beer or just Wizard?" Sirius asked Hamish, ignoring Severus' question.

"Wide-selection, sir. Pretty much whatever you want, 'long as it ain't too foreign." said Hamish.

"Great. I'll take a Guinness then, please," Sirius said before turning back to Severus. "I finally get my drink." There was a teasing sort of expression on Sirius' face and he looked across the way to where Pauline was taking an order.

"Are you ever going to talk to her?" Sirius asked. "Because there will come a point where this will transition from cute to creepy."

"How did you know where to find me?" Severus said, moving the question away from Pauline.

"I have my sources," Sirius said enigmatically. Which could only mean…

"Dumbledore?" Severus spat out. Sirius just grinned and accepted his drink from Hamish with a soft 'cheers'. Severus had no idea why he was still sitting down instead of leaving Sirius to finish his Guinness alone. They sat in silence for a moment.

"You can expect an apology from Harry," Sirius said. Severus didn't really no what to say to that but a not uncomfortable silence followed.

"You didn't have to do that," Severus said, rolling his eyes.

"Yes I did," Sirius said with a snort. "I'm responsible for making sure he doesn't become some horrible brat huffing doxy eggs behind the Quidditch stands." Severus' lip twitched at that. It seemed that the responsibility was beginning to weigh on Sirius as well.

"Though, when I was giving him his lecture on respecting his teachers, he did bring up something interesting," Sirius continued. "He said you haven't even spoken to him since Christmas break."

"Why is that a surprise?" Severus said. Sirius shrugged and turned his Guinness around in his hands.

"Well, aside from the fact that you're his teacher and another one of my jobs of making sure he has the best education available," Sirius said, "I suppose I thought after the Gangzhou…I thought you wanted to be in his life."

A prickle of embarrassment started to crawl up Severus' neck.

"He has you," Severus said after a moment. "You're giving lectures and writing letters, what does he need me for?" Sirius blinked at him for a moment, then laughed a great bark-like laugh that got the attention of several customers.

"Me?" Sirius said, taking a hearty swig of his beer. "Ah yes, Merlin knows if he has me he is set for life. Me, being a rock-solid role model of moral upstanding citizenry. Why would he need anyone else? Severus I do not have the faintest idea what I am doing. I am probably doing a lot of it wrong, and even if I was June Cleaver people are supposed to have more than one person they can count in their lives. Harry should have siblings, cousins, aunts and uncle and parents to dote on him. He deserves more than just me."

"Well you heard him," Severus said, perhaps a little childishly. "He certainly doesn't want me."

"Severus, I may not know much about kids and parenting and whatever, but I do know this: if a kid is screaming at you for not talking to them, its not because they don't want you around, it's because they do," Sirius said. "But he's 11. Do you remember being 11? He's young, insecure and you're - bloody hell - Severus you're petrifying. You scare me and I'm a grown man. Harry isn't going to bridge the gap between you two. If you want a relationship, you're going to have to take the lead."

"Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't know how!" Severus burst out suddenly. The last months worth of anxiety had been pressing on his stomach like a lead weight. He had had enough. An awkward silence stretched out between himself and Sirius, and he couldn't bring himself to look into Sirius' face.

"You know, I kind of hoped Harry was going to get sick," Sirius said after a moment. "I know that's awful, but I felt like if he had gone through something bad, I'd be there, and I'd be able help. I'd know what to say, and he would know that I love him, and we'd have this connection, you know?" Sirius continued. Severus slowly turned back towards Sirius. "Noone tells you it can be harder when they're all fine."

"But he writes me every day, even when he has nothing really to say, just to fill me in, and that's what he needs, Severus. That's what he want: someone talk to him, an adult to care what he has to say," Sirius said.

They sat in silence as Severus mulled over Sirius' words. He could do that, couldn't he? Listen to Harry talk about his day if he wanted to talk. That didn't sound so hard. Still, he didn't know how to broach that subject with Harry, especially after the last few months.

"Dumbledore and Harry have both said that you've been different…kinder" Sirius said after a long moment. He sounded slightly tentative, like he did not think breaching this subject was a particularly great idea.

"What's that to you?" Severus snapped again, feeling a little defensive as Sirius stepped into the personal.

"I just know that change is hard," Sirius said. "There are about 7 billion people on the planet, and most of those people want to change something about themselves. It's funny, it's so easy to change for the worse. We do it without even thinking about it really, but changing for the better? For some reason it's like stunning a dragon with no wand. It takes commitment, a will to act against our instincts, to be uncomfortable. It's impressive is all."

Sirius pinched the bridge of his nose and threw down enough galleons to cover both their drinks. He looked tired all the sudden.

"Anyways, sorry to intrude," Sirius muttered, starting to get to his feet. For the first time in memory, Severus Snape did not want Sirius to go. There had been a flicker of understanding in his words, and Severus, who for the last month had felt like a man lost in the forest grasped desperately for further direction.

"Hamish, another Guinness, please," Severus said. Hamish nodded and Sirius, half-standing, gave Severus an uncertain look, but lowered himself back into the chair.

"How did you not become a Death Eater?" Severus asked as their next round was put in front of them. It was an intensely personal question, and Sirius blinked in surprise.

"I don't know," Sirius said. "I was never really tempted. Don't get me wrong, I have flaws, but I always liked Muggle stuff. I like TV, I like muggle beer, I like soccer and I love cars. Growing in pure-blood family, that was what was exotic and interesting. My parents - we were never the Brady Bunch, you know. Being like them - it wasn't even something I consciously rebelled from it was just so fundamentally not me. I met James on the train, Remus, Peter. Then James' parents, then Lily and Harry, and I suppose they just always felt more like family to me then the people I shared blood with," Sirius said looking across the way towards the cafe.

"I hated Muggle stuff," Severus said after a moment. "I have hated so much for so long. I don't even know if I can be any different."

"Look, from what I've been told, you were a double agent, you stood up to Voldemort, you are one of the youngest Professors to be published, and you think you can't be nice," Sirius said gently. "Severus, it's really not that hard."

Severus didn't know what to say to that. He couldn't find the words for what he meant. Before he could think of something, the smile on Sirius' face shifted into something darker.

"It is hard to be happy," Sirius agreed finally. His voice was low, as though he was sharing a secret. "I get it. It makes you vulnerable, leaves you open to disappointment, and if you think you can't have it, it's easier to just deny that you ever wanted that happiness to begin with. When I was in Azkaban, I didn't dare hope for a happy life. It would have ended me."

Severus' eyes flickered to Sirius' grey ones. Sirius met his gaze with calm understanding.

Desire was painful. All Severus' life he had desired things: that his father would stop drinking, that his mother would pay attention to him, that Lily would like him, that anyone would like him, that Voldemort would notice how special he was. None of it had ever happened, and sometime after Lily's death, Severus had stopped trying.

Severus looked away from Sirius' overly-understanding expression. There was a moment of silence as both Sirius and Severus took a pull of their beers. Sirius cleared his throat.

"You aren't in prison," Sirius said. "You can have it all. Whatever you want."

Severus looked over to Sirius' warm, grey eyes which were smiling at him. The little bit of understanding was surprisingly helpful.

"What about Harry?" he asked, remembering how the boy had yelled at him.

"Just have a conversation with him," Sirius said. "Ask him for a cup of tea, talk about Quidditch, or potions, or his school day and just keep doing it."

"And what about Pauline?" he asked, not really encoding that he asked Sirius for girl advice. Sirius grinned.

"That - that I can help with,' he said with a laugh. "Come on, let's get another drink." Severus' lips quirked into the beginning of a smile and he nodded. Sirius smiled to himself as well and waved Hamish over for another drink, thinking that - once again - Dumbledore had been correct. After months of Sirius offering his hand, Severus, with fumbling fingers, had finally reached out to take it.

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