Guys, I will now be regularly updating every Friday OR Saturday! Sorry for the wait, I will work harder!
Bethany's POV:
School was Hell the next day. I didn't get enough sleep because I was up all night thinking about Jackson, H.U.S.H., Ravens Corporation, and my anxiety attacks.
Maybe my dad had found some kind of secret out about H.U.S.H. and they took him to shut him up. Or maybe Ravens Corporation took him. How were they all connected? And -
"Helloooooooo? Earth to Bethany!" Artemis snapped her fingers in my face.
I blinked at her. What was she saying again?
"Hey! That's rude! Don't snap in my girlfriend's face!" Dick snapped his fingers back into Artemis' face. My heart fluttered at Dick calling me "girlfriend."
"Ugh," Barbara put her hand on her forehead, "Why doesn't anyone act like their actual age here: 18?"
"Oh dear," Artemis groaned. "Have you even seen Wally?"
No one commented on that because we all agreed that Wally was, and would always be, the most immature out of all of us, even out of the youngest members of the Team.
We were at lunch and the cafeteria was buzzing with chatter and the scrape of forks.
"Hey," Dick caressed my face, bringing me back to reality. "You've been out of it all day, do you need to talk about something?"
I kept my face carefully blank and timed my answer so nothing would be suspicious. I looked straight into his eyes and said, "No. Everything's fine." Biggest lie in my life.
"You're not thinking about your dad or Ravens Corporation?" Dick asked. I shook my head. Not completely a lie. I was actually thinking of my anxiety issues.
Artemis chimed in, "Or about H.U.S.H.?"
I shook my head.
"Or Ash?" Barbara added.
"Ugh!" I dropped my head into my hands. "Do you all want me to be stressed?"
"It's okay, Bethany." Zatanna scooted over and rubbed my back soothingly. "Don't be stressed about all of that. All we can do is wait for Batman's order."
"Thanks, Z. I'm glad you're here." And I was. After being introduced to our Team two years ago, Zatanna had enrolled in our school, since she also lived in Gotham. When she had first arrived, all the guys had drooled over her because she looked like a model, even in our school uniforms. But she'd also been a large source of comfort when things in school started to fall apart. She may or may not have used a little magic to help my grades. Shhh...
Our little group of friends consisted of me, Dick, Barbara, Artemis, and Zatanna. About two years ago, I was new to Gotham Academy as a sophomore. At that time, I had met all sorts of people. I had met jocks, popular girls, Dick and Barbara, talkative boys, and quiet girls. I had also met my best friend, Rose. She'd had long dark hair that sometimes shielded her from the world, and she was a romantic. Well, a romantic for books. She always seemed to be locked away in a fantasy world. She was shy and quiet, but she was extremely thoughtful and intelligent and was a phenomenal artist. She was my only good friend that didn't know that I was a hero at that time. "Was" being the keyword. She was killed by an evil spy of the Light who had been posing as another sophomore.
Kelli. She had killed Rose in an attempt to mentally throw me over the edge. And it had worked.
I had almost killed Kelli in response, almost sacrificing my humanity, but Dick had saved me before I could cross that bridge. Sometimes, I still wondered what would have happened...
My eyes drifted over to the empty seat at the end of the table. It was Rose's old seat where she would sit with us during lunch. She had always sat there and stared off into space and we would always tease her about it. Of course, she sometimes didn't even hear us because she was so engrossed in LaLa Land.
Sometimes, people would try to sit in her old spot, but I would yell at them to go away. They had no right to sit where Rose had sat. No one did. I would defend Rose until the end, even past death.
I sighed at the chair, almost feeling Rose's thoughtful presence. Dick looked over at me and caught my eye staring at Rose's old chair. He quickly sat up, grabbing my hand.
"I think we should get going. We can get to gym early if we leave now." Dick ordered. Even outside of the Team and Mount Justice, he was still the leader. Everyone listened to his command and got up to throw their trash away.
I knew what he was doing. Every time he could tell that I was thinking of Rose, he would try to distract me from the sadness. I got up and noticed how most of the cafeteria watched us leave. They respected us. They thought that we were the ones that disbanded Kelli's little passe of bullies. That was only partially true. After Kelli had killed herself, Bruce had covered up the whole thing, Rose's death included. Kelli's whole clique (consisting of Nicole, Shelby, Mike, Grant, and Kyle) ended up just leaving the school. They probably hadn't known who Kelli really was, so they actually mourned her death. Puke.
Since I was slightly involved with Kelli's passe at one point, the school had conjured up rumors that I had brought down Kelli with my friends. There were ridiculous rumors, and sometimes they even made me upset. They would never know the other half of the story, which included a lot of bloodshed and tears.
"Honestly, who wants to go to P.E. early anyways." Grumbled Zatanna, in response to Dick's earlier comment.
The five of us had managed to get into the same P.E. class, but that was the only class with the five of us together. We walked together towards the gymnasium, passing by my old art room on the way.
It was like time had stopped for a few moments, just so that I could relive those few memories from sophomore year. I looked through the window of the classroom, but it only took a split second for me to be sucked in. I could see Rose and I sitting in our usual spot in the classroom: the back corner near the windows. We were laughing at our drawings of each other and lightly chatting in our own little world. We had moved our easels and desks together so that we could have one big table, our colored pencils scattered between us. Art class was where I had first met Rose, and it was the only class we had together, and so we cherished it. The room was so bright, the sunlight filtering in and shining all over the room. Rose had that sparkle in her eyes as she laughed that musical sound. I had always imagined Rose as this little delicate fairy. She was so small, but she seemed so magical.
And just like that, the memory was gone. The bright and sunny art room dissolves back into the gray and brown room that it actually was. Rose wasn't there anymore. In a blink, she was gone all over again.
I blinked at the empty art room and then shook my head. We continued towards the gym, no one even realizing that I had relived a memory of Rose in that split second.
After Rose had passed, I had dropped out of art the next day. I couldn't bear to be in the back of the room without Rose; It had felt empty and I would never be able to do art in the same way again. There was always this empty space in me -
Someone bumped into me, causing my bag to knock off my shoulders. I quickly leaned back down to pick it up and then slung it over my shoulder. I looked up to see who the person was.
It was the one and only: Brady.
"Hey!" He snapped at me in his obnoxiously deep voice. "Watch where you're going next time!"
"You bumped into me," I snarled.
"What'd you say?!" Brady stepped up to me, puffing his chest out.
I stood up straighter and glared at him through my lashes. What a jerk. He had bullied Rose when we were in art class together. After Rose had died, I resented anyone who had ever been mean to her. As if on instinct, both sides of me were flanked by Barbara, Artemis, and Zatanna. It was only after a moment that I realized that all of Bradley's friends had done the same.
"Woah there," Dick stepped in between all us, sending me a warning look. "We don't want any trouble. It was an accident. Let's go."
But I was a little fed up with stress from yesterday's activities and the sorrow of Rose's death had returned. I felt like picking a fight.
"It wasn't an accident. He purposely shoved into me." I stepped towards him, narrowing my eyes at him. Dick put a warning hand on my arm, pulling me back.
"What're you talking about? You're the one that bumped into me!" Brady and his gang started to surround us in a menacing way, but that only made it funnier. Did they actually think that they could take us on in the middle of the hallway? They didn't know who we really were.
"Did your backpack get knocked to the ground? No? I didn't think so either." I said evenly up at him. By now I was leaning into his face and we were both glaring at each other.
Dick grabbed my hand and tried to tug me out of the situation, but I stood firm. I really felt like punching someone. Preferably, Brady's fat face.
"Hey, Bradley." Artemis called out at him.
"My name is Brady!" He screeched.
"Why don't you just go cool off and go smoke your cigarettes somewhere else!" Artemis yelled, gaining the attention of lots of students further down the hallway. She smiled to herself; She loved taunting people in public. Public humiliation was her specialty.
"What are you talking about? I don't smoke, that's against school rules." Brady replied, crossing his arms matter-of-factly.
"Oh, so that's not a 2.2 by 3.5 by .9 inch king size box of Marlboro Lights sticking out of your back left pocket?" Barbara chimed in, crossing her arms. Oh, I loved how she knew everything. "I don't think that the school would approve, don't you think?" She arched a brow at him. She stepped up to him, her height was much shorter than Brady, but her intelligence far exceeded his.
"H-hey! I don't know what you're talking about!" Bradley said as he started backing away, attempting to pull his blazer over his pocket to hide the pack of cigarettes. Him and his little Gang of Stupidity ran back down the hallway from where they came from, before they could get caught with the cigarettes.
"Bye, bye, Brandy!" Zatanna wiggled her fingers at him.
"That's not my name!" Brady shouted angrily over his shoulder at us as he ran back down the hall away from us.
I let out a sigh. I had really wanted to pummel someone's face, but at the same time, I was kind of relieved that nothing had broken out. I faced Dick and the rest of them, but Dick had this disappointed look in his face and he was pointing it at me.
"What?" I asked.
He sighed and closed his eyes, rubbing his temples, "You tried to provoke a fight. Why?"
"I was feeling a little... angry today." I said. Thinking about Rose had made me angry.
"And he totally had it coming." Artemis agreed.
"You can't just-" He let out a frustrated breath. "You can't just go around picking fights with people. We can't do whatever we want. You may be stressed or angry, but you can't take it out on other people. We only fight in situations that are serious, not in petty school fights." The others were silent, but they knew he was right.
Dick sounded angry, which made my heart sink in disappointment. Why did I try to pick a fight? What was wrong with me?
"Sorry. It won't happen again." I hung my head. We turned to continue walking to the gym in silence.
I fell a little behind the group, but Dick followed me.
"Look, Bethany." Dick whispered so that no one else would hear. "I know you're stressed. You can talk to me, you know?"
I grabbed his hand and laid my head on his shoulder as we walked. I didn't reply. I didn't think anyone would understand my newfound anxiety issues.
Wayne Mansion was suspiciously deserted when I arrived after school. I had left Dick and the girls to go to the Cave without me, saying that I had left stuff at home. Not a complete lie.
I left my motorcycle next to the rest of the motorcycles in the ten-car garage. I speed walked through the silent living room, looked twice to make sure no one was there, and then pulled the pendulum of the old father clock. Part of the nearby fireplace moved up, creating a space just wide enough for a person to walk through into the awaiting elevator. I entered and pushed the single button, waiting for the finger print scan to complete. The doors shut and I descended, five floors below the ground. The Batcave awaited me.
The Batcave database is more advanced and accurate than the one at Mount Justice, thanks to both Dick and Batman's personalizations. I pulled on my Huntress uniform and sat at the big Bat computer and began to search.
I sifted through hundreds of news reports and news footage. Where were they hiding?
Where was the Light?
I had been searching for them for two whole years. After my fight with Kelli, she had revealed that the Light had a secret team of teenage operatives that were working to take down the Justice League, the Team, and to do the Light's bidding. I had searched for them nonstop after that. But the Light only threatened the world once in the past two years. But we couldn't get any answers from them about what they were doing and where their teenage team of operatives were. I thought that after the death of Kelli, the Light would reveal themselves slowly, but they never made a move. And if they did, they were extremely careful and clean about it. I couldn't track them!
I let out a frustrate shout and banged the keyboard, causing the screen to close and go black.
"Don't break it or you're going to have to buy it." A deep voice sounded behind me. "And I don't think you have over a million dollars on hand."
I didn't have to look to see that Batman, probably in his full costume, had appeared through the elevator and was coming towards me.
I scowled down at myself. I forgot that he would probably be home from work at around this time. CEOs and their short work hours...
Batman appeared next to me and looked up at the screen for a split second and then back down at me. He already knew what I was doing.
"You don't have to push the matter. They will reveal themselves when they want to." He said calmly. His calmness on this issue pissed me off.
"Batman, they could be out there killing people or planning to destroy the world, and all we're going to do is just sit here and wait for them to 'reveal themselves?' It's been two whole years of silence!" I think I was shouting. Matters were so complicated, so how could he not be trying to fix them?
He narrowed his eyes at me. He didn't like it when I raised my voice at him. "I know that you're passionate about this, but-"
"I'm not 'passionate.'" I spit the word out. "I'm just trying to do what everyone else is too lazy to do."
He ignored me and continued. "But think about it for a moment. When the Light doesn't want to be found, they will not be found. You've been searching for them for two years, but they haven't shown themselves. In a hunt, you change tactics when the one you're trying isn't working. Our new strategy is to wait."
I took a deep breath. Sometimes, Batman's rationality managed to calm me down. I liked it when we had a plan.
"Okay." I sighed. "It's just that I know there's probably other kids out there that they're recruiting by force, like they tried to do to me two years ago. And they're probably killing other innocent people, like Rose, just to get what they want."
"I know. Don't think I haven't thought of that before. But that's what motivates us to keep doing what we do."
I sighed. Rose's death had been extremely tragic, but at the same time, it had sparked something in me that caused me to fight crime more vigorously. Before, I had just gone through the motions, fighting evil and putting away the bad guys just because they were "bad." But after Rose died, the evil in the world hit me and I realized that all of this, the criminals and threats against our world, was all real. I could die and others around me could die, too. I used to think that I loved crime fighting because I loved the rush and the thrill it gave me. But now I know it's not just a hobby or something I "love." It's something that I have to do in order to right the wrongs in this evil world.
"Be patient." Batman said. "In time, they'll make a mistake and we'll catch them. Everyone makes mistakes in time. No one can hide forever."
It was silent for a few seconds, save for the sounds of me typing in the computer. Batman stood there quietly next to me, watching me look up the news around the world to see if there's any issues the Team needs to take care of.
"Even secrets can't stay hidden forever." Batman looked over at me. Shocked, I stopped typing.
"What are you talking about?" I asked defensively. But I already knew what he was talking about. And he knew that I knew. I saw it in his eyes.
"How did you know?" I asked, stiffly.
"I really hope you know that I can still see the search history on the computer at Mount Justice."
I sighed and revealed the anxiety disorder that I thought that I had to him. I told him how I thought that maybe my step family had scarred me so bad that I was susceptible to anxiety attacks when it came to them.
After I was done speaking, it was silent again. Then Batman spoke up again.
"What did they do to you?" He asked quietly.
I wasn't going to tell him.
My memories of my step family wasn't a matter I was about to tell Batman about. My step father was a favoriting asshole. He only cared about Cain and Ash and sort of my mom. I was completely invisible to him, causing long nights of hunger and tears. My mom had changed after Jackson was "killed" and turned into a completely different person. She transformed into a controlling monster. Ash and Cain taunted and physically hurt me whenever they wanted to. And if I ever lashed out or stood up for myself, my parents would punish me devastatingly.
Batman looked at me differently now. Like he had this new view of me that he hadn't known before. I hated it.
He probably thinks I'm fragile or a "poor little thing." I am the Huntress! Why should I have an anxiety disorder?! I decided that I wouldn't tell anyone else; My pride wouldn't let me.
"We should head back to the Cave. We are going to emerge into your memories today." Batman cleared his throat and we headed to the underground garage that would open up on the other side of Wayne Manor.
I blinked. That was today? I wasn't ready! Especially after I just learned that I had a mental anxiety issue!
I got onto my motorcycle and sped out of the garage before Batman had even got into his Bat-mobile.
It was getting close to dinner time, and the sun had an ominous glow over the city. I may or may not have sped a little. Okay, maybe a lot.
But I was anxious. What would my memory be like? How would we go into my head? Would the others accidentally find out about my anxiety?
The sudden sound of a motorcycle revving its engine behind me was startling. I glanced in my rear view mirror and saw Nightwing's motorcycle about 20 feet behind me.
Why couldn't anyone just leave me alone?! I needed space and time to think this over. Everyone just needed to go away! Leave me alone!
I sped up, going 75 miles per hour on the partially filled highway. Behind me, Nightwing sped up a little, too, but not daring to go past 65.
When I arrived at the Cave before Nightwing, I parked my bike next to M'gann's bio ship. I took my helmet off and shook out my hair. I stalked towards the kitchen where Wally, Artemis, M'gann, Zatanna, and Superboy were lounging, cooking, and watching tv.
"Hello, Bethany." M'gann said cheerfully next to me. She was baking her signature cookies again.
I grunted in response and reached for a bottle of water. I was restraining myself from punching a wall. My emotions had just been down all day.
"Hey, did you get what you needed back at your house?" Artemis asked. She was cleaning her bow on the floor, something she did quite often.
I nodded my head without speaking and headed for the door just as Dick came through it. I stopped.
"Hey, why are you acting like Superboy when he doesn't get his Frosted Flakes in the morning?" Wally called from the couch. Superboy hit him in the shoulder and Dick quirked an eyebrow at me, as if he had wanted to ask the same question.
"Today's the day." I said softly.
"The day? What's going on today?" Superboy got up and approached me. I started to feel cornered again.
"The day... That we go into my memories." I responded.
Everyone nodded because they already knew. Batman and I had told them the other day. But it was still so scary.
"Batman debriefed us about an hour ago, while you were at your house. We start in a couple hours, when J'ohnn - I mean, Martian Manhunter arrives from his mission" M'gann responded.
My fists clenched. No. I wish we had more time. I wasn't ready; things were moving too fast.
A hand warmed the small of my back and Dick spoke next to me. "It looks like you want to punch someone. Come on, let's go to the training room."
He guided me out of the room and to the glowing training circle.
"Hit me." He stood up straight and crossed his arms.
"What? Why?" I was confused.
"After I saw you get mad at Bradley, I knew something was up. What's wrong?" He asked stepping closer.
"Nothing."
"Come on, I know that's not- woah!" He dodge a kick I had aimed at his midsection.
"Arg!" I let my frustration out onto Dick and, being the good guy he was, he let me do it. We were dancing in a vicious and fast paced dance, jabbing back and forth. I flipped over him and kicked him in the chest, causing him to grunt. I felt slightly bad that I was actually hitting him, but I just considered this practice and it made me feel better. Each hit I landed caused a little bit of pain in my chest to ease off.
"Oh, no mercy, huh?" He flashed his perfectly white and straight teeth at me.
"Nope," His comments brought a slight smile to my face. This was helping me to feel better.
I actually started to break a sweat and had to summersault away from him to catch my breath. But when I looked back up, he was right in front of me and he spun me around, putting his foot behind my ankle, and pushed me to the ground. He kneeled down over my face, so close, and tucked my hair behind my ear.
"Never let your guard down." He breathed.
Instead of being angry at myself for losing, I was just excited. My heart started to flutter at an abnormal rate and I started to feel too hot. His face was so close to me and his other hand was resting on my upper thigh, sending tingling sparks through my body. His mesmerizing blue eyes were swirling and he glanced down at my lips. Knowing what he wanted, I put my hands around his neck and pulled him down to me, touching my lips to his briefly. He growled a little and then lowered himself onto me and put both hands around my face, as if to hold me there with him. Our lips moved in sync, as if we were made for each other. I felt my heart warming from this kiss and finally felt myself loosen up. I didn't realize how stiff I'd been all day. I'd had so many emotions, sometimes I was even unsure of what I was feeling. But now, I was sure of what I was feeling. The butterflies in my stomach and the tingling every time he touched me. I didn't want him to stop, but eventually, he pulled away to look at me again.
"i've missed this. I've missed you." He whispered. He sounded a little sad.
"Me, too. We haven't had time to just be with each other. We were so busy preparing for the mission at Raven's Coporation." I mumbled. I felt dizzy from our make out session and it was kind of hard to think straight.
"We should take some time for ourselves, maybe go somewhere together. We haven't gone anywhere in a long time." He moved from on top of me and lay next to me, both of us staring at the ceiling from the glowing floor.
I agreed halfheartedly. I didn't have the strength to tell him that we probably wouldn't have a lot of time on our hands to go on a date. We were heroes, and the world couldn't wait for us to push pause, go do our own thing, and then come back.
We sat in silence for a little while, and then he shifted to rest his head in his hand and face me.
"You've been off all day. What's wrong? Did something happen?" He peered at me through his dark long lashes. I always envied his lashes.
I shrugged and continued to look at the ceiling, not facing him. "I'm stressed about everything. And then I remembered Rose today and that put me in a mood."
"You acted kind of weird when we were talking about submerging in your memories back in the kitchen. How are you feeling about that?"
I turned away from him a little, facing the wall instead. "I... I don't know. I guess I forgot that it was today."
It was silent. He was waiting.
"I-I don't feel ready, Dick." I stuttered a little. It was hard for me to admit these things, but once I said the first line, the rest came pouring out. "Everything's moving too fast. I don't feel ready and I... I think I'm scared."
His hand laced through mine. "I'm here. The whole Team is here. You have nothing to fear, they're just memories."
"I'm scared of my memories. I'm afraid of what I'll see and remember." I turned my head away from him a little so that he wouldn't see the tears forming in my eyes. " I'm afraid of what I'll find."
Thanks for the wait! Remember, every Friday or Saturday!
Overwhelmed, Underwhelmed, Whelmed.