Life during a war
Chapter 19: Planning
I wake up the next day in Tobias' arms, we're just the way we fell asleep yesterday. Yesterday. We're having a son. A little boy. I smile. But then I remember what Hana told us and what happened after the appointment. I choke on a sob as tears fill my eyes. Tobias awakens and looks at me, worried.
"Tris, are you all right?" He asks.
I just shake my head and he embraces me, I cry into his shirt which smells distinctively like him. The smell I associate with safety and warmth. The smell that I love.
"It's going to be okay. I promise." He says before kissing my head.
"I'm scared." I tell him, still crying.
"I know, I am too. But we're going to be all right, all of us are." He says.
We lay there for God knows how long, me crying and him comforting me. It feels like hours but is probably only a few minutes.
"Let's go and get you some breakfast, okay." He whispers to me.
I nod and he gets up, helping me up in the process. He leads me to the living room, my hand in his.
When we arrive we see our friends are all sitting in there, talking about one thing or another. Tobias helps me onto the sofa and sits next to me. Our friends look at us. Worried. Upset. Scared.
"What happened last night? You didn't tell us the gender and Hana wouldn't tell us anything before leaving for work this morning." Christina says.
"We don't want to tell you the gender." I say. "It's a surprise to all of you, apart from Hana." I add.
"But that's unfair. Also, you both looked really worried when you got home, Tris looked like she had been crying for hours and you both went straight to bed. Also, we heard Tris crying just now. So, what happened if you're not going to tell us the gender?" Zeke says.
I look at Tobias and plead with my eyes for him to tell them for me.
"Tris isn't getting enough food because of the factionless and their rules. The baby is becoming unhealthy and the best case scenario is that it's born around thirty four weeks and needs help breathing or whatever, which means they don't need to be monitored twenty four hours a day." Tobias says.
"What's the worst case scenario?" Uriah asks.
Tobias just glares at him.
"Sorry." Uriah says.
"Did anything else happen?" Christina asks.
"Tris got upset and left the room and when she got to the waiting room she started getting really bad pains and we almost…" Tobias cuts himself off as a tear falls down his cheek.
"What are we going to do?" Will asks.
"Yeah, it's obvious that Tris needs more food but how are we going to do that?" Tori asks.
"We need to leave the city, as soon as possible. We need to stash as much food as we can to take with us. We need to get food from the Amity farms. And hopefully there is somewhere out there that can help us and feed us." Tobias says.
"I'm going to go and get Tris some food and drink from the kitchen." Christina says before standing and leaving the room.
"We need a plan." Bud says.
We all nod in agreement.
"We should probably wait until Hana gets home, though." I tell them.
They nod again.
….
It's now quarter past ten at night and Hana has just arrived back from the infirmary. We all sit in the living room, and start thinking up a plan.
"We need people to get food and stash it here." Harrison says.
"Okay. Uriah, Zeke, Christina, Will, Lynn, Shauna and Marlene can do that. Stash any food that you know Tris is allowed to eat. Fruits. Vegetables. Anything that isn't raw. Cake. Whatever you can get us that will last a while. And get lots of it. Get people to help out as well, like the staff in the kitchens and whoever else you know is reliable and can help us. People think the factionless stay on guard all night, they don't. At about half ten they leave their posts and go to bars or whatever to steal alcohol. There is a route I know that can get us out of here that isn't guarded. The only problem is that there are security cameras around where we are now, but not around where the route is. Zeke, when you're on shift tomorrow in the control room I need you to film the empty corridor and set it up so that we can push a button just before we leave and that is all they will be able to see. I know you can do it because I know you have done it before. Hana, I know you're resigning now so you can help us out. You just have to stay here and look after Tris until we go, make sure everything is all right. Harrison, Bud, Tori and I will be taking care of the other resources that we need. Hana, you'll need to write a list of the things we need for Tris and the baby and we can get them. I'm going to get in touch with Johanna and see if she can get some supplies sorted for us. Is there anything else we need?" Tobias explains.
I think about Caleb, I don't know why, maybe because he's my brother and he could be executed in the matter of weeks.
I hate him. For what he did. For betraying me and our family.
But I can't help but still love him, just a little bit, but it's there.
But can I make my new family put their lives at risk to save someone that betrayed me when I thought they loved and cared about me, especially when they knew I was pregnant?
Can I get the people I love and care about to put their lives at risk to save my brother?
If my brother dies I won't have any immediate family left. I will just have my baby and my other kids if the time comes, and I'll have Tobias, and my friends who are like family to me.
Can I live without Caleb in my life?
I have done for weeks now. Only thinking about him when Tobias told me he was going to be trialled.
But can I let the only thing that reminds me of my parents die? Would they love me for doing that? Would they hate me?
They always told me that I should forgive people, because it's selfless. You're making someone think you forgive them for what they did, making them happy. But on the inside, you're not happy. You don't really forgive them, you can try to, but you can't, which makes you feel bad on the inside. You're putting their feelings before your own feelings. Selfless.
"Tris? Tris? You all right?" Tobias asks, clicking his fingers in front of my face, drawing me out of my thoughts.
"Yeah, I'm fine. C-can I go back to Abnegation? Just, for a day, before we go. I want to look around my old house." I ask.
"Okay. We'll go tomorrow." Tobias says.
"Thank you." I say.
I know that my parents will still love me if I let Caleb die? He might not even be executed, right?
I know that with the people I have around me now I will be happy. I will be happy for the rest of my life if I have these people, my new family, around me. I love them. They love me. And I know, that even though I don't have my real family, I will always have them, my new family, my Dauntless family.
Hey Ravens, how are you on this fine evening? Or morning? Or afternoon? It depends on where you live and when you are reading this.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed this chapter.
I will update as soon as I can.
Please review!