A/N: Once again, I can't thank you enough for the positive reviews. It's so nice to see others out there want the happy ending. It truly motivates me to write. Thank you!

I do not own the characters. They belong to E.L. James. . This is just for fun.

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The Test - Ana's POV

"Hi Kate" I hug her. "Thanks for coming by and picking up Phoebe. I'm sure Phoebe and Ava will have a great time driving you and Elliot crazy tonight "

"Ava's been looking forward to this all week. She has make-up, nail polishes galore and all sorts of hair clips out, so I'm guessing the girls are planning on glamming it up tonight"

We laugh.

"So what's going on with you Steele?"

"You know, it hasn't been Steele for a long time, Kate"

"Yeah, but I like to yank your husband's chain and I know he hates when I call you that" She laughs.

"You're so bad Kate" I tell her.

"So what's new?" She asks.

"Errr…nothing much" I hesitantly say..

This perks up Kate's Star reporter ears immediately. There's nothing you can get past her.

"What gives Ana? What's wrong?"

"Nothing Kate. I'm fine."

"Is it that over bearing husband of yours? What did he do this time?"

"He didn't do anything. Well, I guess technically he did. But it's nothing bad." I tell her.

"Can you be more vague, Ana?" She says sarcastically. "Come On, what gives?"

"Promise you won't say anything to anyone?"

"Of course, you know that" And I do. Kate's word is good as gold.

"My period is a week late. I think I might be pregnant"

Her eyes open wide and without skipping a beat she says 'Wouldn't surprise me, you two screw like rabbits"

"Classy Kate, real classy!" I turn crimson.

"Does Christian know?" She asks.

"No and I'm afraid to tell him. I'm not sure how he's going to react"

"Don't sweat it Steele. I'm sure he'll be thrilled. The guy dotes on your kids. He even dotes on my kids. I was always surprised that you didn't have a huge family"

"Honesty, I thought we would too. Christian seemed so keen on a big family, but something changed right after Phoebe was born. I know her delivery was bumpy, but it worked out fine. Maybe two was all he could handle emotionally. I don't know. He doesn't discuss it. He became adamant that two was enough. Anytime I even brought up the possibility of having a third, he cut me off and change the subject. I was so happy that we were blessed with two healthy children, I never pushed the issue."

"Don't worry Ana. It's all going to work out fine"

'I hope so Kate"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~xx~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's just me and Christian having a quiet dinner together. Gail's delicious chicken stew is on the menu tonight. Normally I'd gobble this up in a nanosecond and sometimes even go back for seconds. Christian loves when we have this, because I eat so much of it.

Tonight, I just don't have an appetite. There's too much going on in my mind. We sit at the kitchen bar and he notices I'm picking at my stew, moving the vegetables and chicken chunks around the bowl, but not eating much of anything.

"Something wrong baby?" He asks

"No, I guess I'm just not feeling very hungry tonight?" I tell him, while looking down in my bowl, thoughtlessly moving my food in circles

"Are you feeling ill?" He asks with a look of concern.

"No, I'm fine. Just one of those days" I tell him. I don't want to have this conversation until I know for sure.

"Ana, talk to me. What's bothering you? Is it work?"

"No, work is fine" I assure him

"The kids? Is something wrong with our kids?" He's getting more concerned. I know he's just going to keep up with the questions until he gets his answer. I don't' know how he's going to react. I'll just go for it.

"My period is a week late." I tell him in a low whisper. "I think I might be pregnant"

"Pregnant? Pregnant?" he says incredulously, stammering his words.

I thought I was pretty clear when I said it the first time. I brace myself for the fireworks. I hold my breath. Three, two, one…and….

"Christ Ana, I'm fucking forty eight years old, you're turning forty-two in a month. Do you really think we can do this again? Do you think I want to do this again? Diapers, vomit, bottles, crying all night" He's practically screaming at me.

"Christian, people have babies later in life now. It's the new norm. Please don't be angry. I don't even know if I am pregnant and by you're less than happy reaction to the news, I'm not sure if I want to know. If I am, I am. I know it's not something we planned. But it is what it is. We'll deal with it"

"How? How the fuck are we going to deal with it, Ana? Our kids are grown. Ted's in college for Fucks sake. I don't want to start this shit all over again. It's supposed to be our turn now. You and me. And now this shit all over again? Fuck!"

He slams his fist into the wall. I jump.

"Real smart Christian, break your fist over something that may not be happening." I reprimand him.

"I don't want to hear your smart mouth now, Anastasia. I thought you were taking care of your birth control."

"Don't you dare go there, Grey. I have been taking care of my birth control. It's not one hundred percent. Or did you forget about how your carbon copy of a son, came into this world? Why are you even yelling at me? We don't even know if I am. This argument is ridiculous. I'll buy a test in the morning and we'll have our answer. Maybe we can have a rational discussion about this then. Do you think you can handle rational, Christian?"

I'm not going to be yelled at for something that's out of my control. It's Déjà vu all over again.

He closes his eyes. And I see it. Christian is shutting down right in front of me. I can tell he's trying to rope in his emotions. He's failing miserably.

"I have work to do. I'll be in my study." And he storms out.

Well at least he didn't leave the house this time, I snicker to myself.

What the fuck was that? I couldn't have imagined he'd react so badly. I know the possibility is a shock...but he knows he's a great father. He knows he has the capacity to love his children, unconditionally. I don't understand where this reaction is coming from. There's more to this...but what?

~~~~~~~~~~~~xx~~~~~~~~~~~~

Our argument has exhausted me. I lie down on our bed and close my eyes. When I open them, it's morning. I look over and Christian is not there. I wonder if he even came to bed. I turn to my side and notice that the chair near our bed has been turned. He must have been watching me sleep. He only does this when he's really stressed out.

I stare at the ceiling and let out a deep sigh. As long as I've known him, Christian has a tendency to overreact...but there was something in his eyes that tell me there's something other than anger he's dealing with. All sorts of scenarios are going through my head...but none make any sense. I'm going to have to find him and talk this through. There's more to this than Christian not wanting to change diapers.

~~~~~~~~~~~xx~~~~~~~~~~~

I find him in his study. Still in the clothes he had on last night. He looks like he's been up all night. He doesn't look angry. His eyes show worry, not anger. He looks like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders. . What has him so worried? He's such a good Dad, the kids love him. Maybe its work and he's using this possible news as and excuse to yell out some frustrations. I just don't know.

I don't knock. I won't give him to opportunity to send me away. I slowly walk into his study...not knowing what to expect. He looks up at me and looks so incredibly sad.

"I'm sorry Ana" he quietly tells me.

"Christian, what's wrong? Please tell me. I know it's more than there being another mouth to feed"

He gets out of his chair and leads me to the couch in his study. He takes my hand and we sit.

He lets out a deep sigh. "I'm terrified"

"Terrified? Terrified of what? The possibility of a baby? Christian you're a wonderful father, surely you know that."

"I'm not terrified of having another baby, Ana" He slowly shakes his head.

"Then I don't understand" I look at him bewildered.

"I'm terrified that you might die giving birth. Teddy's birth was hard enough, but when Phoebe was born so much went wrong. You lost so much blood. I was kicked out of the delivery room and forced to go into a waiting room, waiting to hear if my wife was alive or dead. When I finally got to see you, you were so pale and out cold from the sedation. There were tubes everywhere. All I could hear was that heart monitor beeping. I don't think I was ever so scared. Ana, I can't lose you. I can live without more children, but I can't without you."

He throws his arms around me. His eyes are filled with tears.

"Is that why you changed your mind about wanting a big family? You were afraid for me?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you ever tell me this?"

"Because you would have talked me out of it. I couldn't risk losing you. I can't risk losing you now. Ana, I don't know how to process this. I don't know how to feel"

"Christian. The doctors are aware of my history and would take precautions to prevent that from ever happening again. Dr. Greene had always said that there's no reason why I couldn't have more children. It would be handled as a high risk pregnancy, but it would be handled. Baby, we don't even know if I am. All this worry could be for nothing."

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Ana" He nuzzles his head onto my shoulder.

I turn to him and hold his face in my hands. I gently caress his cheek. His eyes are welled up with tears. He looks so sincere in his fear. It breaks my heart

"Look at me Christian. If I am pregnant, nothing will go wrong. I will not die. Remember, I promised you I would never ever leave you. And I intend to keep that promise."

"Oh Ana" He hugs me tight.

~~~~~~~~~~xx~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been a long time since I've taken one of these tests. I pee on the stick and rest it on the bathroom counter. .

Christian and I sit on the floor in our bedroom, with our backs leaning against the foot of our bed, facing the bathroom door.

"How long will it take?" he asks

"The box says five minutes"

"Ok" he nods. He looks nervous. We playfully laced our fingers together.

"Remember the first time we were waiting for the results of a pregnancy test?"

""Ah, yes. For Phoebe. I was so thrilled when it came back positive." He smiles.

"Me too. I was so glad Teddy would have a sibling" I smile back at him

"Yes, well I was a pretty seasoned diaper changer by the time Pheebs came around"

"Do you remember the first diaper you changed for Teddy? You put it on backwards and he peed on you" I giggle..

"I did learn to duck quickly" he laughs. "Remember the bet we had about Phoebe's first word... whether it would be mama or dada."

'I remember you were a sore winner, dada" I jokingly hit him in his side with my elbow.

He laughs.

"I did enjoy taking Teddy on his first fishing trip. That boy is a trout magnet. The fish were practically begging to end up on his hook." He looks so happy in his memories.

"And you looked so handsome at Phoebe's first Father-Daughter dance" Oh, my handsome man. He puts his head on my shoulder. I can feel his grin.

"You know, a new baby does open up many new possibilities. New firsts for us." He says in wonder

"I do like firsts" I smile at him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~xx~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The timer on my blackberry buzzes.

"It's time. Are you nervous?" I ask.

"Yes, nervous, horrified, terrified, excited." He says

I stand up and go into the bathroom. I pick up the stick and sigh.

I come out and Christian is eagerly looking at me. I can tell he's on edge.

"Well? Out with it already!" He says

"It's negative" I sigh.

"I see" he stands up. He walks over to me and holds me.

"How do you feel about this?" I ask him

He cocks his head, trying to find the right words. "Relieved and disappointed. You?"

""The same. Happy and sad at the same time" I tell him.

"Ana?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think we should try for another baby?"

I look at him and smile. "Maybe. Do you?"

He smiles. "Maybe"