A/N: Thank you once again for the reviews. They are very much appreciated.

I do not own the characters. They belong to E.L. James. This is just for fun.

Blast from the past

Ana's POV:

I'm sifting through our mail. There's so much junk mail. It's one of those silly menial tasks that need to be done. The new issue of Seattle Magazine just came out. Good. I think I'm going to slip off my shoes, relax on our bed and read it. I could really use a little down time

Looks like a hot new French chef is opening up a new restaurant in the city soon. Christian always likes to try new places to eat. We should give it a try. I flip through a few pages, mindlessly reading. It's nice to read something on my own time that doesn't involve a manuscript. Reading just for the pleasure of reading.

I read about a new gallery exhibit opening. We haven't been to an art exhibit in ages. I begin to read the article and I get a chill up my spine. Seems an up and coming "late bloomer" abstract artist named Leila Williams is having a two week exhibit in Seattle. Leila.? I haven't heard her name in twenty years. Why is she in Seattle of all places. I thought she lived on the East Coast. This piques my interest, so I read the article. She discusses how she has dealt with depression for a greater part of her thirties and found painting was the one thing that helped her through her darker days. She goes on to talk about the exhibit she'll be showing. She calls it 'Abstracts in Gray'

Are you kidding me? The spelling may be different, but the message is loud and clear. Abstracts in Gray?

She goes on gushing about how this exhibit couldn't be possible with the generous financial help from an old friend from Seattle. Old friend, my ass. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what's going on here, especially if you're privy to the past. The only 'old friend' she has that could bankroll a gallery opening is one Christian Grey. That son of a bitch. Do they think I'm an idiot?'

After all these years, he's giving her money without my knowledge? How could he do this to me? What else hasn't he told me about his relationship with Leila? Is there a relationship with Leila? And she's been bankrolled for a show in Seattle of all places...how very convenient.

How could he do this to me? How could he do this to us?

~~~~~~~~~~~xxx~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am steaming mad. I think I may burst a blood vessel mad. I'm so angry. I feel so betrayed.

Have I been blind all this time? Has he been sneaking around all this time. I feel so foolish. And hurt.

I hear Christian in the house and know the showdown is about to start.

He walks in the bedroom.

"Hi Baby"

"Fuck you" I scowl as I throw a pillow at him.

"What the fuck is that all about?" He looks shocked as he ducks from the flying pillow.

"Were you planning to tell me that you're bankrolling one of your former whores, or were you going to keep this from me forever?"

He has the deer in the headlights syndrome, completely frozen.

"Ana, I…" There's no doubt he knows exactly what I'm talking about.

"Don't Ana me, you son of a bitch. How long? How long Christian? How long have you been paying her bills?"

"It was a few months ago...but it was only once. Specifically for her gallery show"

"A few months ago? You've been keeping this from me for a few months? I hear she's in Seattle. Have you taken her back to the playroom for old time sake too?" I say sarcastically.

"You think I'd cheat on you?" He looks appalled.

"I don't know what to think! I never thought you'd go behind my back like this Christian. Do you have any regard for how I might feel about this? After all these years you bring your past back into our lives. You practically paid that woman to come back to Seattle. I thought that part of our lives was over"

"It's not like that Ana"

"Not like what Christian? Are you paying the way for Leila to have a gallery exhibit? An exhibit that unless you're a complete moron is likely a tribute to Master Grey. Gray in Abstract? Do I look like I'm an idiot?"

"Ana I know nothing about her show. I don't care what it's about. I never asked. She contacted me through outside channels and needed financial assistance. I was just helping out an old friend"

"Old Friend? Are you fucking kidding me? Do you make a habit of tying up, fucking and flogging all your 'old friends'? " I say in a low voice, dripping with disgust. I know Phoebe is home and she certainly doesn't need to hear this.

"Ana, it's not like that?"

"Enlighten me Christian. What is it like? What logical reason would there be for secretly supporting one of your ex subs? Are there any more subs we're supporting? "

"No. And it's a one time deal. She just needed the funding for this gallery exhibit… to get her career on track"

"Oh, so you're now the art world's Sugar Daddy? Fuck that Christian. And if it's so innocent….why keep it from your wife?"

"Ana, I didn't think anything of it. I was only doing what I thought was the right thing to do. Leila hasn't had the easiest life. She needed a hand. It's nothing"

"Nothing? If it were nothing Christian, you wouldn't have kept it from me. Obviously it's something. Have you seen her?"

"No. And I have no intention of it. I haven't spoke to her in twenty years. The last time I saw or spoke to her was in your office and you were there"

"Oh, do you expect me to feel better about that.? You have betrayed us Christian. Going behind my back and keeping a secret like this from me is inexcusable. You have no regard for my feelings? Did you at any time consider how this might affect me? How I might feel about it?"

"No. I didn't think it was a big deal. It was a drop in the bucket. It's not like we can't afford it."

"You have completely missed the point. You're a selfish man. Your disregard for my feelings disgusts me."

"Ana, stop this. I didn't consider your feelings because I barely gave it a thought myself. All I did was approve a donation to an artist who needed a break. It was a meaningless two second decision"

"Why would she contact you? What reason would she have to contact you after all these years unless she wanted to see you"

"It wasn't like that Ana. She was desperate for money. I think I was her last hope. I barely gave it a thought"

"Secrets, secrets, secrets...I thought we were over this shit after all this time"

I grab a suitcase from the back of our closet.

"You're running?' He says is disbelief

"No, you are. I want you out of this bedroom. You, your Leila and your fucking secrets. Get the fuck out of here. I'm taking bath. When I get out, I don't want to see you here" I turn around and head to the bathroom and lock the door, leaving Christian frozen in front of me.

~~~~~~~~~xxx~~~~~~~~~~

I hoped that the bath would relax me, but I'm still tied up in knots. I enter the bedroom and see that he left. And he took the suitcase. I don't know if he's in a guest room or went to Escala. And I really don't care.

How could he be so thoughtless? What else isn't he telling me? Has our whole marriage been a series of secrets and lies? Have there been other women he's supporting or worse?

The thought is too painful. I sink down to the bedroom floor, lean against our bed and softly weep.

"Mom?" I hear a soft voice by the bedroom door. I quickly wipe away my tears.

"Ahem…Yes, Pheebs. What's up?" I manage to sniffle out.

Phoebe walks into the bedroom. She sees me sitting on the floor and sits next to me.

"Mom, is everything ok? I heard you and dad yelling. Dad just stormed out of the house with a suitcase."

"Yes, baby girl. Dad and I just had a little argument. It'll be alright" I guess he's off to Escala. Or who knows where.

"It sounded like more than a little argument Mom. Was Dad being an ass again?"

"Phoebe, don't talk about your father that way." I sigh, resigned, "Yes, your Father was being an ass again."

"Are you going to divorce him?"

"No baby. I won't give him the satisfaction" We both chuckle as we playfully bump our shoulders. "It'll be ok Pheebs. We just need to cool down. You know how your Father and I get sometimes. We just need some space. It'll be fine, I promise" I manage a little smile.

"Ok Mom. But if you do divorce him, I want to live with you." We both laugh again.

"Deal, baby girl"

~~~~~~~~~xxxx~~~~~~~~~~

I wake after fitful night's sleep. Tossing and turning all night. Images of Christian and Leila are tattooed in my brain. I knew he was supporting her after her breakdown years ago, but that stopped when she got herself back on her feet. At least that's what he told me. I had no reason to doubt him. Has it all been lies?

I cant stay home and wallow in my doubts. I have work responsibilities. I drag myself out of bed and get ready for work. I go to the kitchen and Gail is already there preparing Phoebe's breakfast.

"Good Morning Ana. What can I get you this morning?" Gail gives me a half smile. She obviously knows Christian isn't here. Taylor is probably with him, wherever he ended up. I forget that our battles sometimes spill out into other people's lives.

"Just some tea please Gail" I could pretend that Gail doesn't know what's going on between me and my idiot husband, but Gail and I have a close relationship. I'll just get it out and over with. "Ok Gail, let's get the uncomfortable stuff out of the way so we can enjoy breakfast, where are they?"

"Escala" She sighs.

"Ok. Thank you. I think I'll have some granola too." I give her a weak smile.

Phoebe comes to the kitchen and sits down next to me.

"Good Morning Mom. How are you feeling this morning?"

"Good Morning Pheebs. I'm feeling...tired" I try to sound upbeat but I'm not fooling anyone

"Dad sent me a text this morning. Just to say good morning and to have a good day."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I text him back and told him that he needs to stop acting like an ass and apologize to you for whatever he did" She giggles.

"Phoebe! You didn't!" I try to hide my grin. My little girl is always looking out for her Mom. Even Gail can't hide her smile.

"Oh, I did" She says victoriously.

"What did he say?"

"He told me to watch my language and mind my business"

"I'm sure he'd have more to say to you about that if he were here." I laugh.

'Well he's not here, is he?" She says with a devilish smile. She is most definitely her father's daughter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's going to be a long day at work. On top of the usual work stresses, I have my own personal stress to deal. It's hard to focus on work when your mind is half way to the moon and my heart is a few office buildings around the block.

Is he unconsciously taking actions to step outside our marriage? Bringing her back into his life would certainly be easy. And if the past is any indication, she's up for anything to keep him happy. Oh, I'm not making any sense. His good looks and power makes him very attractive to any tramp looking for a piece of the Grey mystique. There are tons of women who throw themselves at him. He doesn't need to search it out, it's offered up to him all the time. Ugh...I hate that reality.

What am I doing to myself? This is crazy! I . Deep down, I know he wouldn't cheat on me... I hope he wouldn't...no, no he wouldn't. Gah! My brain is in overdrive! I need to slow down my thoughts and think this out logically. He may be an idiot in the consideration department, but he is also loyal and devoted to me. And most importantly, he loves me with all his heart and soul. I have no doubt about that. It's not about sex. We still paw at each other like teenagers. I know my man is satisfied. Very satisfied. Very, Very satisfied. I have not been living in denial for twenty years.

The only conclusion I can come to is that he is a man. Thereby completely clueless. That's his only defense. He is a brilliant, loving, generous, clueless man. He's a good person with a big heart. I suspect in this case, his heart may have been too big and it forgot to consult with his brain first. For a bright man, he can been as dumb as a brick.

Nonetheless, he has to be held accountable for his actions. It hurts me to think he sees nothing wrong with what he did...or didn't do. I deserve respect. Maybe I wouldn't have cared if he gave the money to Leila. I guess we'll never know because I was never asked. That's what bothers me the most. I was never asked. That's where he failed us. And that's what he can't see. If the roles were reversed, he would have gone thermo-nuclear fifty on me. I can't accept that he thinks it's alright to keep secrets from me. This wasn't any 'old friend'; this was his deviant gun-pointing unstable fuck buddy.

I finish out the workday. I'm exhausted from all this thinking.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~xxxxxxx~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a pretty quiet dinner, I barely eat. At least Christian isn't here to reprimand me about that. Gail gives me an understanding smile, as she clears my plate away.

Phoebe breaks the ice.

"Have you heard from Dad today?"

"No honey. Not today"

"He would be mad that you haven't eaten your dinner" She slyly smiles

"We'll he's not here, is he?" We both giggle. Phoebe has a way of lightening up the darkest moments.

"Don't worry Mom. You know Dad can't put one foot in front of the other without you." She rolls her eyes.

"I'm sure everything will be fine. Don't you worry, baby girl"

"Oh, I'm not worried. He'll be groveling soon. He always does. You'll see white roses before you know it."

White roses have become Christian's signature 'I'm sorry' white flag. I wonder if he's conscious to the fact that he does that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~xxxxxxxxxxxxxx~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm having trouble falling asleep so I decide to work a little to keep my mind off my personal problems. I take out my lap top and start going through my emails.

I hear a ping. It's from Christian.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: I hope…

Date: August 6, 2031 11:10 PM

To: Anastasia Grey

… you had a good day.

Christian Grey

CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc

From: Anastasia Grey

Subject: Hopeless

Date: August 6, 2031 11:14 PM

To: Christian Grey

It was a long day.

Anastasia Grey

CEO, Grey Publishing

From: Christian Grey

Subject: On bended knee

Date: August 6, 2031 11:16 PM

To: Anastasia Grey

Please Ana.

I want to come home to my wife.

I miss you.

Christian Grey

Lonely CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc

From: Anastasia Grey

Subject: First things first

Date: August 6, 2031 11:19 PM

To: Christian Grey

We need to talk.

I miss you too.

Anastasia Grey

Still Angry but Equally Lonely CEO, Grey Publishing

From: Christian Grey

Subject: No time like the present

Date: August 6, 2031 11:21 PM

To: Anastasia Grey

Can we talk tonight?

Christian Grey

Hopeful CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc

From: Anastasia Grey

Subject: Late Nights and Big Ears

Date: August 6, 2031 11:24 PM

To: Christian Grey

It's late. I need time.

And you need to do some thinking.

Please.

Tomorrow, after work? I'll come there.

I don't want Phoebe to hear us again

Anastasia Grey

Still Angry and Mentally Exhausted CEO, Grey Publishing

From: Christian Grey

Subject: As you wish...

Date: August 6, 2031 11:26 PM

To: Anastasia Grey

Tomorrow it is.

I love you Anastasia.

Christian Grey

Desperate to Make Things Right CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc

From: Anastasia Grey

Subject: Until then...

Date: August 6, 2031 11:29 PM

To: Christian Grey

I love you too.

Anastasia Grey

Weary CEO, Grey Publishing

~~~~~~~~~~xxx~~~~~~~~~

I wake up to another morning without Christian beside me. I miss him so much it hurts.

I drag myself back to work. There are two dozen white roses in a vase on my desk. I smile.

I wonder if he knows what he's sorry for.

I sit at my desk and open up my email. There's another email from Christian.

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Tonight

Date: August 7, 2031 8:15 AM

To: Anastasia Grey

I hope you like the flowers.

I'll have dinner prepared for tonight.

6:00?

Christian Grey

Anxious CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc

From: Anastasia Grey

Subject: Tonight

Date: August 7, 2031 8:40 AM

To: Christian Grey

The flowers are lovely.

Thank you.

6:00 is fine

Anastasia Grey

Equally Anxious CEO, Grey Publishing

From: Christian Grey

Subject: Until tonight…

Date: August 7, 2031 8:42 AM

To: Anastasia Grey

I look forward to seeing you.

Christian Grey

Much More Anxious CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc

I don't answer him. It's time to concentrate on work and not my personal issues.

It's hard to think about anything other than my problems but I do the best I can. Fortunately, my late afternoon schedule is light, so I leave work a little early. I've decided there's something I need to do before I can face Christian.

~~~~~~~~~~xxx~~~~~~~~~~

I'm standing in front of the Gallery…having an internal conflict. Do I go inside and look at the exhibit and see if I can figure out a clue into their relationship, if there is a relationship at all? The answer really is simple. If I don't go in, it will haunt me forever. I walk through the doors, trying to be inconspicuous. I don't want anyone to notice me. I walk around quickly, with my head down only glancing up to take a quick peek at each piece.

I look at each painting. They are in all shades of gray. Literally the color gray...her paintings are color wheels of gray swirls and unrecognizable objects. I remember Christian telling me that she always liked to use bright obnoxious colors. That's why he didn't like her work. The lack of color in these paintings certainly suggests someone coming through a dark period in their life. I see no signs of an obsession with my husband. No paintings of Christian. Nothing reminiscent of a life lived long ago. Perhaps her motives in contacting Christian were simply a bold attempt to get her career going and she truly was just reaching out for funding and nothing else.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Leila there, speaking to a potential buyer. She looks so different.. She has short spiked blonde hair now...Birkenstock sandals, plain T shirt and a bohemian style flouncy skirt...very artsy. Definitely not Christian's type at all.

I have my answer. I leave before I'm noticed

~~~~~~~~~~~~~xxxxxxxxxxxx~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm actually nervous on my way to Escala. Nervous to see my own husband. As I enter the elevator, I feel my heart racing. I punch in the code for the penthouse and the elevator moves. With each floor we climb, my heart beats faster.

The elevator doors open. I have butterflies in my stomach. I walk into the penthouse and see Christian standing in the kitchen with a glass of wine in hand. He looks nervous too.

I walk into the kitchen and his face visibly relaxes. Did he think I wouldn't show up?

"Hi" He quietly says

"Hi". I answer. It's strange not knowing what to say when you have so much to say.

"Would you like a drink?"

"Yes please. Whatever you're having" Jeez, we've been married twenty years and we're so nervous around each other.

He hands me a glass of white wine. Our fingers lightly touch. I feel the charge between us. I can see from his reaction that he felt it too.

"Gail prepared dinner for us and had Taylor drop it off. I gave Taylor the night off to be home with his wife. Have a seat and I'll take our dinner out of the warming draw" He tells me as he points over to the table with his chin. The table is set for two. With tiny votive candles lit down the length of the table. There's a bouquet of wildflowers, my favorite flowers, in a vase near our table settings. The light over the table has been dimmed. There's soft piano music playing through the speakers on the wall. It's very beautiful and very romantic. Christian has obviously thought a lot about tonight.

I sit at the table. I'm still mad, but I'm definitely softening.

He brings out our dinner…a salad, warmed French bread and penne in vodka sauce. It smells divine. Gail is such an amazing cook.

We quietly eat our dinner. Christian asks about my work day. I ask about his. It's a whole lot of roundabout conversations about everything but what needs to be talked about. The usual mundane niceties one says when avoiding the issue at hand.

I'd really like to touch him but the elephant in the room needs to be address.

We finish our meal. Christian pours another glass of wine for the both of us. The candles flicker and give off a beautiful soft light in the room. It's lovely.

"Christian, we need to discuss this Leila issue."

"Ana. I don't know what to say about this. Yes, she was a part of my past. My intention was to just help her out. I honestly didn't give it any thought. When I told you it was a two second decision, I was telling the truth. Maybe I was keeping it a secret unintentionally, but not because I thought I was doing something wrong. I just didn't think it was worth mentioning"

"Do you understand why this upset me? It's not so much that you gave an ex-lover money...well, maybe part of it is...but you never considered how I might feel about that. You should have spoke to me about it. Not because of the money aspect, but because of who the money was going to. It hurt me deeply. Can't you see that? What if the situation was reversed and I was secretly sending money to an ex-lover. How would you feel?"

"I hadn't thought of it like that. I'm sorry Ana. It was never my intention to hurt you"

"We need to be considerate and respectful of each others feelings. We can't have secrets Christian. Secrets destroy marriages."

He looks down uncomfortably.

"Don't worry. You can still keep your secrets about our security detail's shenanigans" I smile.

"You know about that?" He looks at me in wonder.

"I figured that out a long time ago." I laugh.

"Baby, I'm sorry. Your safety is my obsession. I try, but I can't help myself. "He says sincerely.

"I know you can't. And that's the only pass you get." I smile "No secrets. Respect. Consideration. We can not work without that. Do you understand? "I look him straight in the eye. He knows I mean business.

"Understood. Am I forgiven?" He looks so hopeful.

"Are we done with the secrets?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Yes." He says without hesitation and I believe him.

"Good" I smile.

"Dance with me, Mrs. Grey?" He stands up and hold his hand out to me.

I take his hand and stand. He pulls me in close. He's holding me so tight. It feels so right to be in his arms. This is where I want to be. Forever.

We dance slowly to the beautiful music playing in the background. I rest my head on his shoulder. He kisses my hair repeatedly.

"I love you Anastasia. More than you could ever know"

"I love you too." I am so completely in love with this man.

We finish our dance. I put my hand over his heart.

"You are mine, only mine" I tell him

"Always." He says as he places his hand over my heart. "Can I come home now?"

"Not yet." I tell him. He sighs and looks disappointed. "There's an empty bedroom and a wife who desperately needs her husband to make love to her first"

His lips curl into a devilish grin.

"We aim to please, Mrs. Grey" He lifts me up and carries me to our bedroom.