A/n: Hello, good day! It's been a while since I posted anything, my apologies... But better late than never. Hope you enjoy :D

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Chapter 8: Going Back

"Bella?" His voice sounded different than I remembered. Was it the fact that it was a human memory that caused the distortion? Or was it because I was in this strange drunk-like state?

What I also registered was the fact that he'd left out my last name. For him it was just 'Bella'. But then again, I had flirted with him, whether badly or skilfully. That kind of gave him the right to be on first name terms.

"Are you all right?" He came forward and steadied me by grasping my elbows. It took me a few moments to realise I hadn't experienced the searing pain I should've felt with his touch. I couldn't speak until he'd led me out of the woods and into the open air, where the salted wind assaulted my sharp senses and brought back my lucidity.

"I'm fine." I hastily exhaled. I took deep breaths. Besides the ocean air, I could now smell the same kind of 'dog smell' I'd gotten off the boy named Kellen at the department store. This reminded me that Jacob might've heard about me. But that didn't matter much anymore, since he could now see with his own eyes that I was here. Not only that, but that I'd turned up in the middle of the woods. What reason could I possibly invent to explain this?

I instinctively retreated more towards the tree-line, to keep myself unnoticed by the other inhabitants of the preservation. Jacob Black followed me, sticking close to me, and keeping one noticeably large and burning hand clasped around my elbow, a frown of concern and confusion on his face.

His hand was very hot, like the radiating heat I'd felt from Kellen, but it didn't hurt me. It didn't burn me like Esme or Alice or Jasper's touch. Maybe humans didn't have that effect on me, only vampires. But then why did animals?

"Bella." He repeated, apparently not really knowing what else to say. I didn't quite know myself.

"Don't tell anyone you saw me." I said. My mind was still blurred, and I couldn't think clearly enough to find an excuse. But I had to at least limit the damage done by my presence here.

"A…All right." He conceded, more quickly than I'd expected. "But…at least tell me what you're doing here. Charlie said you were in Phoenix."

Oh. So he hadn't heard any news from the Kellen boy then. Hopefully, no one had. Hopefully, the boy had kept his mouth shut.

"I…I can't tell you." I said. Seriously, what could I possibly say to explain this? Me? Bella Swan, in the middle of the woods? It didn't even make sense to me.

For a while, all that filled the blank between us was the crush of the waves against the wet sand. The sky was grey, the ocean dark, the air humid and probably cold, but I didn't feel it.

"Do you want to come inside? You feel so cold…." Jacob spoke first.

"I'm all right. I really should go." I said as I began to retreat towards the trees.

"In there?" He asked, peering into the trees with a dumbstruck expression. "Where are you going in there?"

"I…no, I'll walk to the road and call Charlie, that's all." I winced internally. Charlie thought I was in Phoenix. My story would never hold up. This was an abysmal lie.

I wasn't surprised when Jacob didn't let go of my arm. There was no way he was believing my ridiculous excuses. And I found to my horror that I wasn't even strong enough to break free from him. Was I even weaker than a human now? Just some time ago I was still able to run faster than a racing car…

"This is wrong, Bella…" He began, but he was clearly very uncomfortable and confused. He felt even hotter, his face became more coloured, the copper skin turning darker. I heard his heartbeat pick up and the blood in his veins made a sound like the crashing waves a little further. "I can't just let you go into the woods alone. Let me drop you off somewhere…"

"I'll be fine, Jacob. Trust me. I…" I exhaled and inhaled again. The dog smell was really strong. Did it have any connection to La Push? I remembered the conversation about the wolves with the Cullens. I tried to identify the dog-smell as a wolf-smell. But I wasn't sure what wolves even smelled like. Was it pretty much the same? "Just don't tell anyone you saw me, okay?" I repeated as I pulled on my arm so he would release me.

"Wait." He said before letting go. Then he positioned himself next to me. "I'll walk with you then."

"No." I said before I could really think it through. When was my superhuman mind coming back? "It's quite far." I protested.

"I'm stronger than you." He grinned in an easy going way. It made me want to grin too, if his words hadn't reminded me of the fact that I had become much too weak for my own good. It couldn't be right, a vampire, weaker than a teenage boy? She's not a vampire. Jasper's words rang in my head.

"That's only because you've grown so much!" I replied, feeling as if I had to at least find an excuse for my weakness. And it was true. He'd grown at least a few inches since I saw him last. And his arms and hands were much larger and muscled than I remembered. He looked much older than he did just a few months ago.

"I did!" He grinned again, apparently proud of his growth. I reminded myself that being tall and muscled was important for boys.

We set off together into the cover of the woods. It was strange, the fact that he wasn't asking more questions, wasn't demanding more answers. Faced with such a puzzling sight, I would've reacted very differently in my human life. I'd demanded the truth from Edward when he'd started doing inexplicable things.

"Don't you have school?" I wondered aloud after a while.

"I haven't been feeling so good lately." He shrugged.

"The flu?"

"Something like that I think." He nodded, looking straight ahead.

"Then you really should be resting!" I exclaimed. "You should go back."

"Not a chance." He shook his head with another grin at me. "Besides, I feel better outside, in the forest."

When his eyes lingered on me after his words, I became too uncomfortable to look at him. I turned my gaze ahead, paying attention to the way the light danced through the leaves.

"Where are we really going?" So he did have a question.

I still had strength enough that if I walked at a human pace, I could probably go on all day and night and longer. And he had no trouble following. His breathing hadn't even quickened. I had to remind myself to breathe regularly. I'd only had one occasion to practice my 'humanness' in public. I wasn't quite trained yet.

I took a second to think whether I should tell the truth or keep silent. But I felt a kind of trust in him. Because he trusted me. I felt it. So I trusted him. And he didn't ask questions, or had made a drama about my appearance. Hadn't run off screaming "Bella is here!".

"The Cullens." I answered. And immediately realised that he might just guess what I was, because he knew the stories about the Cullens. Though he didn't seem to believe them when he'd told me about them, he might now.

But he just nodded and said: "I thought so. Charlie said you were involved with…the Cullens."

There was a sour tone in his voice. It no longer felt warm and light as it had. I could only conclude that he'd heard about my relationship with Edward. But petty teenage jealousy and drama were so far behind me that I didn't take much time to think about it. I was worrying about much more serious things. Though I did feel a pang of guilt towards him.

"I can't walk all the way with you." He suddenly said. And it seemed like he hated that fact.

"Why?" I asked, though I was relieved that he wouldn't accompany me all the way. It meant I wouldn't have to explain his presence to the Cullens. To my family.

"I…" He choked for a moment, as if he had trouble talking about this. "There are some rules on the reservation." He explained. "You remember what Sam said? On the beach?"

I nodded. Every time I had to think about that time, it seemed farther away.

"Well, not only are the Cullens not allowed on our territory, but we aren't allowed on theirs." He sighed. "It's quite silly but…Sam and the others…they really take it seriously."

I nodded, showing him that I understood. Silently, I thought about the idea of werewolves. I glanced sideways at Jacob. Checking, searching, but not sure what I was searching for. That Sam though, the one who seemed to be taking the 'treaty' Carlisle talked about so seriously, he might be a werewolf. But Jacob, he didn't even think it was serious. I seriously doubted that he was anything but a love-struck, healthy teenager.

After a while though, Jacob suddenly stopped and stood utterly still.

"I have to stop here." He frowned again, as if confused by his own words.

I was also confused. I wondered why here? But then I realised that something had changed: the smell. There was something different. But I couldn't really put my finger on it. Could he smell that?

"Okay." I said awkwardly. My sense of social interaction really hadn't improved. I sighed internally at myself.

"See you soon, Bella. Come around whenever you like." Jacob added, then turned around rather reluctantly, and began his way back towards the beach, while I advanced further into the darker parts of the forest.

The smell kept improving. I only now realised that there had been a rather potent odor back at the beach. Not that I thought it stank, but it was a little too strong and overwhelming. Even though the ocean air was refreshing, the fragrance in the air was purer here, away from the water. The more I advanced, the purer it became, until I recognised the sweet smell that I could only describe as 'home'.

As soon as the thought crossed my mind, Edward materialised in front of me and grabbed my shoulders.

"Bella!" His whisper was hoarse, as if he had difficulty making the sound come out. His eyes scrutinized me from head to toe, looking for the tiniest scratch it seemed. "Where did you go!" He exclaimed. It wasn't really a question. But I answered anyway.

"I just…walked around…I needed to clear my head."

Suddenly, Jasper, Alice and Carlisle were there.

"You crossed the border." Jasper said, he sounded unhappy. "You still smell of werewolf!"

"What?"

Carlisle advanced and put a reassuring hand on Edward's shoulders. Edward relaxed his grip on me. "You crossed the treaty line." He explained patiently. "We couldn't follow you there. That is werewolf territory. You can tell by the smell."

"Yes," I agreed. "I did smell a difference just now."

"And you didn't see anyone? Did you see any large wolves? Did you smell the dogs?" Jasper demanded, eager to have more information about the situation. I could tell he was itching to get a better view of the 'enemy'. But I still had to process everything about werewolves and 'enemies', still had to decide where I stood. And I didn't like the way he talked about the people of La Push.

But the dog smell; I had smelled it twice now. On Jacob and Kellen. But neither had seemed to recognise me as a vampire. And neither had done anything suspicious in my eyes. The only strange thing about them was the smell, and the heat. And possibly Jacob's growth. Though that may just be adolescence kicking in.

"I didn't notice anything but the boundary smell." I said. I wasn't ready to decide on what to think. I needed more time to think over what had happened today. I kept my expression smooth and controlled, and forced myself to think of something else, so Jasper couldn't sense some feeling in me that I shouldn't be having.

I focused my eyes on Edward, who seemed to still be deciding whether to embrace me or scold me for running off without him, somewhere he couldn't reach. But I hadn't known he couldn't reach me. I hadn't known where the treaty line lay until now. And even if I had, I hadn't been able to know where I was or where I was going.

"Can you walk back?" He asked. It was still some way to the house.

"Of course." I rolled my eyes. I wasn't that weak. But I might soon be.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea, Bella." Carlisle said carefully, obviously trying not to upset me. He was sitting behind his desk, and Edward was sitting next to me. Holding my hand.

"But I can't keep Charlie on the line forever, and my school friends." I replied. I'd called Charlie a few times, and kept sending a few e-mails a week, to tell him I was still in Phoenix, and assuring him that I didn't feel too lonely in the house without my mother and Phil.

And now with Jacob knowing I was there, even though he'd kind of said he wouldn't say anything, that were two witnesses already at La Push. A place my father went frequently.

"Going to school might not be a good idea in your state…" Carlisle said, but he seemed to be thinking to himself at the same time. If I made a good argument, he might let me go.

"I'm not going to attack any humans any time soon. It's safe."

"That is not what I'm worried about, Bella." His voice sounded sad. It made Edward growl.

I understood then what he meant. That if I appeared, only to die and disappear for good a few days or weeks later, it would raise many more questions. But that was also the reason why I wanted to go. I felt like, if my life was coming to an end soon, I wanted to have some other experiences than lurking in the forest or keeping to the Cullen house.

Not that I didn't enjoy my time with them, but I missed my friends, school, Charlie…It had all ended abruptly. I felt the need to have a proper goodbye.

But would I be able to say goodbye once I'd gone back to my old life?

"Charlie would expect you to move back in with him when he thinks you've returned from Phoenix." Edward interjected.

That was more of a problem. I had to stay close to Carlisle in case he wanted to try something, or in case I needed him. I could go see him if I was with Charlie, but that would be difficult to keep hiding, and what would be the point of being with Charlie?

In any case, it would be very hard to keep up the pretence of being human with him. I'd have to cook and eat food. Which I'd already tried and it really didn't go down very easily. It's wasn't as bad as blood, but it wasn't something I wished to do every day.

That did remind me that I would have to do the same at school, if I sat with Angela and the others…they'd wonder why I wasn't eating…and they might see the difference in me, even if I wore contacts all the time.

The idea began to unravel. I felt my stomach constrict as I realised it really would stir up too much trouble. And we had other things to focus on.

I felt Edward's hand tighten around mine as he felt my mood darken. Jasper wasn't around this time to do any of his 'thing'. He and Alice were on an errand for Carlisle in Olympia.

"I understand." I nodded.

"But you are right in thinking we need to do something about Charlie and your friends." Carlisle said on a more positive tone, as if trying to give me some courage and confidence. "It's been over a month and this situation cannot linger forever. When does your mother return to her house in Phoenix?"

"Since I told Charlie I was in Phoenix and they're corresponding about me I had to tell her the same story." I explained. Edward nodded slightly, he already knew this. We'd already agreed on this course of action. It hadn't been easy to convince her not to come home straight away. I'd had to call her and talk to her for at least an hour before she conceded staying with Phil.

"That was a very good idea." Carlisle encouraged me more. Waiting for me to continue.

"She and Phil are coming home in a week or so. Though she couldn't give me an exact date."

Carlisle sighed, but it was more of a way for him to show he was thinking. He was good in keeping up human habits. He worked among them every day. "We need to get you away from Phoenix before then, so to speak."

"But she can't go back to Charlie." Edward was thinking aloud too, for my benefit probably.

"Neither can she go to school." Carlisle went on.

"Actually, she could." Edward stopped him there. We turned to listen to him. My heart swelled despite its inability to beat. "If we can find an excuse to keep her in our family, to let her live with us and eat lunch with us at the cafeteria, we can avoid anything that would risk us exposure." Then he turned to me with a slight smile. "And if you can keep up your abysmal skill in PE."

I hadn't expected that little touch of humour in such a heavy conversation. But I liked it. I wanted to make our situation lighter. It was all so heavy. I wanted to go to school and laugh and have fun again. Maybe then I wouldn't have such difficulty dealing with the 'Edwardness overload' I got sometimes.

"I've had a lifetime of practice for that." I giggled. It was a very short sound, and it sounded strange, both because I wasn't used to it anymore, and because my voice sounded much clearer and better. But it felt incredibly good. Even vampires can get depressed.

Carlisle seemed very pleased with the turn the conversation had taken. He smiled proudly at his son. "All that's left to do is find an excuse that is believable enough. I'll gather everyone at the dining table as soon as Alice and Jasper are back. If everyone cooperates, we'll surely find something." He bounced up and went to find Esme. Afterwards he would go to the hospital for his afternoon shift.

Alice's sports car (I couldn't tell what it was, but it looked cool and sporty, so I assumed it was) rumbled up the driveway by nightfall. She already knew what we'd been talking about of course, so she immediately sat down with Jasper at the dining table, where Edward and I had stayed all afternoon, sometimes talking and brainstorming, sometimes just entangling and untangling our fingers.

Esme was suddenly there and Carlisle took the head of the table. Emmett went to get Rosalie in their room and got her to sit down with us with minimal effort. Which still took a while though since it was Rosalie and she hated me.

"The purpose of this meeting tonight," Carlisle began in his normal voice. No one needed him to raise it to understand. "Is to find an excuse for Bella to stay with us from now on. She can no longer pretend to be in Phoenix, but she cannot return to her father's home." It sounded strange to me to hear him say 'her father's home'. "If she is to stay here and return to school, we need to find a reason why she would stay with us, and why she would join our family, even at school."

"Adopt her too." Rosalie snapped. Everyone knew she hadn't said that to help.

"You know that isn't possible Rosalie." Carlisle told her in a friendly way. He was always so tolerant and compassionate. I wondered if it wasn't too much at times. "We need you to work with us. Bella is a part of the family, and her well-being is also our well-being. We cannot think or act as individuals."

"Edward did." The willowy blonde protested. "He wasn't thinking of our well-being when he brought us all into trouble."

"I've already apologised for that, Rosalie." Edward gritted his teeth and his hand was clasping the table dangerously. I rubbed my fingers over his to loosen their grip before he damaged the fragile wood.

"And a lot of good it did to us!" She infused her remarks with venom.

"Rosalie." Esme said warmly as she put a hand on her daughter's shoulder. "Come help me with some of my new plans." She whispered as she pulled Rosalie with her up the stairs. "I need your excellent taste."

Carlisle watched his wife admiringly until she was out of sight, then brought his attention back to us. Edward's shoulders and arms relaxed.

"I propose a wedding! Or at least a binding ceremony!" Alice chirped enthusiastically. Her brightness immediately lightened the mood Rosalie had left us in.

"Alice…" I protested.

"What?" She asked with a wondering gaze, as if she truly didn't realise how ridiculous that sounded.

"It might work." Carlisle nodded slowly, thinking to himself.

"No!" I protested a little louder. But then I saw the hurt on Edward's face. "It's not like that!" I said to him. "It's not that I don't want…you know." This really wasn't the place to discuss such a thing. "But it would never sound believable to them." Maybe the Cullens had forgotten how people thought. "I was never an official couple with Edward. And me marrying him after a month of absence…people are going to talk."

"At least they won't be thinking you're a vampire if they're too busy thinking you're pregnant." Emmet threw in in his own very indelicate way.

"Yes, but…I mean…" I couldn't express the feeling coursing threw me now. It was hard for me to grasp. It was a very human feeling. The feeling of shame at being talked about, at being seen as different, or bad. I didn't want my friends gossiping about me.

"Let's take some more time to think about it." Carlisle ended my struggle with words. "We still have a few days before we have to make a decision. Let's see what we can come up with tomorrow."

I spent the first part of the night on Edwards lap on the sofa in his room. Sometimes the sound of the rain was dominant, sometimes that of the wind.

"We can find another solution, you know." He tried to reassure me as he stroked my hair, his eyes fixed on the curls that slipped between his fingers. "We can always move away from Forks. We have a few other places we can return to. Or we can live on Esme's island for a while."

"Esme has an island?" I asked, perplexed.

"Yes, Carlisle gave it to her."

"Oh." Sometimes I forgot how wealthy the Cullens were. It was hard to wrap my head around it when I'd been saving money all my life just to pay for an old car or a semester at college.

"But then…"

"Yes." He gave me a sorry smile. "We'd have to announce your death."

That had been the plan at first, or that had looked like the plan, but now that there was a possibility to do it another way…

"I'm sorry I'm so selfish, Bella." His hand dropped away from my hair, as if he didn't even feel worthy enough to touch me anymore.

"Don't listen to Rosalie." I said a little hotly. I was angry at her for making him feel bad, more than for hating me.

"I'm not talking about Rosalie." He said. His lips pressed together just before he spoke again. "I know that you shouldn't be forced to marry me, and I don't want you to marry me because you have to. But still…I feel happiness inside me at the idea that you probably don't have a choice."

"What do you mean?" I scowled.

"I know you don't want to leave your friends and family behind yet. I know that you will choose to stay, and for that you will choose to marry me. And that makes me happy. Though it also makes me feel horrible."

"Really, Edward, marrying you wouldn't be that bad…"

"That bad?" He repeated darkly.

"You have to understand, Edward, it's not you, it's just…"

"That sounds familiar."

"No! Listen to me!" I got frustrated. Then I noticed the tiny smile at the corner of his mouth. He was playing with me. I punched him on the shoulder. Which I shouldn't have done because it reminded us both of my unnatural weakness.

"I'm not the marrying type." I said, because I wanted to explain myself clearly anyway. "I've always seen myself as down to earth, the opposite of my mother."

"And your mother is the one who married and had a child, and didn't stick with it." He nodded comprehendingly.

"I don't blame her for it." I added. "But I don't want to…marrying…it seems so superfluous. If we want to be together, we should just be together. Why do we need all the…fluffiness…on the side?"

"To make Alice happy." He chuckled. And I laughed along with him. I didn't know why he'd suddenly started to be lighter and more humorous today, but I really liked it.

"At any rate," he continued, "if you decide on that course of action, we don't need to really marry. We can simply announce the engagement. I'll deal with Charlie."

"But how can I make it sound believable?" I begged Alice to help me. "When I just had a fight with Edward and had to flee all the way to Phoenix and stay holed up for a month, and then suddenly I want to marry him? After such a short period?"

"It's simple!" She chimed. "You say you had a fight because Edward proposed to you a month ago. He had been crazy in love since the first day he saw you and he wanted to make you his. You freaked out, because you're you, obviously, no one will doubt that. But after a month of self-analysis and being in touch with your emotions, you realised you really wanted to say yes. And so you came back and said yes."

I twisted my eyebrows at her. Being in touch with my emotions? She made it sound like I'd done nothing but yoga for a month in Phoenix.

"Don't look at me like that. I promise, the girls will be too busy swooning at the romance content of your story to think about rejecting its validity. And men know too little about romance to judge about it."

"Alice." I whined. I felt so nervous doing this.

"It's alright, Bella." She sighed. "It's just an engagement. And we can have a party. It'll be fun, I swear!"

The idea of a party made it even less appealing. But then the idea of going back to school, of seeing Charlie again, maybe my mother later too…

I dialled my father's number with slow deliberation on the cell-phone from which I'd called him this last month, and put it to my ear. I should've been sweating now, my cheeks flushing, my heart pounding. But the absence of these signs made me even more nervous somehow.

"Bella?" Why did he always sound so eager when I called? It made my guilt all the heavier. Though it would get lighter from now on, I hoped.

"Hey dad." I winced. And for the first time since my conversion, I really felt the need to sit down. I plopped down on the sofa and stared at the large window, not seeing any of the scenery outside.

"How are you? Has your mother come home already?" I could hear water in the background, and two other voices. He was probably fishing, either on the ocean or a lake. It was a Saturday.

"No, not yet." I answered. "Actually I don't really know. I'm not in Phoenix anymore."

"How so?" He sounded confused, but there was already a touch of hope to be heard in his low, gruffly voice.

"I…I've come back to Forks."

"Wha…are you in Port Angeles? Do I need to come pick you up? I can be there in an hour and a half!" I heard him already starting to pack his stuff.

"No dad!" I stopped him. "There's no need. I'm actually at the Cullens house."

I waited a little for this information to trickle in. It wouldn't be easy to make him accept this. I was grateful Edward had said he'd handle it. But at the same time I wondered how he could possibly do that.

"I admit I'm a bit at a loss here, Bella."

"Well…don't be angry, okay?" I felt like a human teenager again. Though I'd never had to apologise for making trouble to my parents before. I'd never had reason to. "When I had the fight with Edward…well…that was because…" It was harder than I thought to get the words out. It sounded ridiculous, and the fact that I was lying didn't help. "He proposed to me."

"WHAT? I'm sorry Bella, repeat that, please, I'm not sure I got it right…"

"Edward…proposed to me."

Another pause. Then he suddenly started talking much more quickly than I was used to from him.

"I'm going to have a talk with Carlisle about this, how could that kid be so stupid!" It was even stranger to hear him call Edward 'that kid' when he was twice his age.

"Wait dad! I'm not finished!"

"Oh please tell me there isn't more, Bella." I could hear the deep parental concern now. Charlie had never been so expressive in his life than he was now.

"I had time to think it over in Phoenix…" The worst part was coming now. "And I came back to tell him…I told Edward…Yes. We're engaged."

I could see Alice smile brightly in front of me, and could hear my father curse under his breath while he thought I couldn't hear. If I'd been human I wouldn't have heard.

"I am not letting you behave so irresponsibly, Bella, not on my watch. I'm coming straight to the Cullens, and you better be home when I get there." He ended sternly.

I broke the connection, breathing deeply. My job was done. It was up to Carlisle and Edward now.