Chapter 18

Ask And Ye Shall Receive

My words were added fuel to a raging fire. I saw the Eric that I had always feared combined with the one I now loved ferociously. He slammed into me viciously, hitting his target without having to aim. I threw my head back and screamed from the sensation. This was what I wanted. No games, no pretenses, I just wanted this amazing feeling of Eric Northman using me however he chose to.

His fingers were curled like claws, digging into my hips to pull me into his thrusts. The alternating moans and growls he made were so erotic I could have had an orgasm from just listening to them. His right hand released it's grip on my side and his long, delicate fingers found their way to my clit and began moving frantically, urging my release along with breakneck speed.

I will not be able to hold out much longer, my lover. Come for me, min Drottning, my queen.

Only for you. It's always been you Eric, min Kung. (my king)

The explosion of release came in waves. I was blinded by the white hot fury of his climax mingled with mine. He was bellowing, I could feel each spasm he made within me, his body kept time, pulling me hard against him with each contraction. I collapsed onto my stomach, seconds later he lay close by my side, brushing the hair back from my face as I stared at him unabashedly.

"Have I satisfied you, lover?"

"Did you really just ask me that? I may be many things but a great actress isn't one of them. I would never willingly make those faces I think I was making just now."

He laughed but I was actually serious. I can't imagine that too many people would be proud of their, for lack of a better word, fuck-faces.

"Watching you in the throes of ecstasy is something I do not feel I could ever truly deserve. You have no idea how your beauty affects me." his voice trailed off into a near whisper. He sounded almost scared.

"Does it really scare you so badly to have feelings for me, Eric?"

"No, and yes." I waited for him to explain. "The feeling is quite new to me, I was not sure what it was exactly. I could have almost likened it to what I remember a sick stomach felt like. I was very prone to sea sickness, you see, incidentally this is not a good trait for a Viking." His attempt at humor wasn't lost on me but I found this conversation to be very serious. He continued;

" I found that whenever Bill mentioned you after our first meeting, my stomach lurched and I felt anxious. Then when I felt that you were in considerable danger, I could not stop myself from trying to protect you."

His words were stilted, he sounded as if he couldn't believe that he was saying all of this out loud.

"I did my best to convince myself that you were merely an object that I wanted to attain. Just another human body I found pleasing to look at and wanted to fuck. I told myself that I only wanted you so badly the same way Adam and Eve wanted the forbidden fruit. We lust for what we cannot have. Deep inside, I knew it was something more, because when you rejected me …...." His pause was murderous, I couldn't breathe during those few seconds that ticked on like an eon. "...it hurt."

I had hurt him? I felt awful, but did I really have reason to? He had, before one day ago, only portrayed himself as a mean, murderous, selfish, self-centered ass. What was there to love about that? I started to say something, I'm not sure what, but he started talking again like a man confessing his sins.

"This feeling I have for you, I do think it's love, or what I have imagined love to be. It scares me that you have the ability to destroy me and yet I cannot seem to stop giving you the weapons to do so. Any vampire in his right mind would know better than to tell someone that they could bring him to his knees and yet here I am, doing that very thing."

I felt the sting of tears and tried to steel myself. I didn't want to make him uncomfortable and I knew crying would. There was no fooling him though, his long fingers caught the first drop before it could hit the pillow. He licked it from his finger and smiled sadly.

"I am glad to feel love for the first time since I was made vampire. I feel that somehow, if there is a God, he saw fit to make sure our paths crossed and I refuse to let you slip away. So no, loving you does not scare me anymore."

"So what does scare you? I know a lot of things that scare me but I can't imagine anything being frightening to you."

"The thought of losing what I have just found terrifies me. Along with your human frailty, knowing that a million tiny things could go wrong and death would take you like a thief in the night, all the terrible illnesses that plague humans. These things make me fearful and anxious. If I were to have my way, I would change you right now and save myself a mountain of worry. But, I know that is not what you want, and my feelings for you dictate that I must respect your wishes."

He made it sound like his love for me was oppressive, restraining. I didn't want for him to feel that way, it could only end badly.

"I know that I love you Eric and it scares the hell out of me. What if you decide to do what Bill did, leave me for a former lover, grow bored with me, decide I'm not all that special after all? I could never go back to what I was before now that I've had you. You've ruined me, but in a most beautiful way. I could never ask you to promise me anything beyond this minute but the thought of being without you feels like a knife through my heart. I thought that what I felt for Bill was so intense, so special! I was a fool, there's no comparison to what I feel for you!"

I was sobbing uncontrollably and was sure that there was no way that he could have possibly understood the last of what I said.

"You, min söt flicka (my sweet girl) , have only been seeking this feeling for a few mortal years. I have roamed this world for a thousand years, knowing, feeling that a part of me is lacking. A thousand years alone and now that I have found you I spend much of my time thinking of how badly it would hurt if your heartbeat ceased. I am not fool enough to believe that I will ever find someone such as you again. So now, I must either convince you to be made vampire and join me as my eternal mate, or resign myself to meeting the sun should you, for whatever reason, draw your last breath. I know that nothing could ever again bring me happiness or purpose if you are gone."

The weight of his words was crushing. I knew he was merely confessing his feelings for me but he had unintentionally burdened me with the knowledge that by not allowing him to turn me, I was dooming him to burn in the sun. How in the hell was I supposed to feel about this? I mean, no one wants to die. And either choice I made involved me dying, it was just a decision about staying dead. I couldn't let myself think too deeply about it. I knew my silence was worrying him.

"This is all very new to both of us. I think rushing into a decision that huge could only be a mistake. I don't want to make anymore mistakes with you that could jeopardize what we have. I'm as healthy as a horse and I have the most powerful Vampire in Area Five to guard my body. I love you and I know now that you love me too. All is right with the world, Min Kung." I moved my face closer to his and kissed his lips softly.

He responded in kind, his mouth gentle, almost asking permission before his tongue made it's way to tangle with mine.

We made love for the next three hours. Slow, passionate, unhurried love. His hands explored every inch of my body, caressing, gently prodding, learning. I couldn't get enough of him, his smell, his mouth, his taste, the sounds he made as he slid himself smoothly in and out of me. There was no feeling of urgency, no dirty talk, no pounding me through the headboard. This was the type of making love that you see portrayed in the movies, the kind that secretly you think never happens in real life.

I remember him on top of me, looking into my brown eyes with his cold blue ones, our fingers were entwined and he was deep inside of me. Words weren't necessary, I knew that our souls were speaking for us. He didn't have to change himself to be with me, he knew that now and it allayed many of his fears. I knew that despite his gruffness and surly ways, he truly loved me and I didn't have to be anyone but myself. It will always be one of my most precious memories of he and I together, no matter how long we remain side by side. We finally understood each other, no more bullshit stood in the way of our relationship. It was beautiful, it was terrifying, it was more than I could have ever asked for to know that he belonged with me as I belonged with him.

Like I suspected we would, we ended up making love in his humongous bathtub. The feeling of the warm water surrounding us as I rode him, the soft sloshing sound it made as I moved my hips over him, the look of wonder on his face as he came to the same conclusions I had, was magic. I felt like I no longer lived in the real world. His lips on my neck pushed me to the brink. I could feel the tension build in my groin, this was going to be a doozy. A muffled moan from him signaled the beginning of his release and without thinking I leaned forward and bit into his neck. The blood was thick like molasses, as I swallowed mouthful after mouthful of it. I was ravenous, I hadn't eaten anything other than vampire blood in over 24 hours. I could feel him shudder from the double ecstasy of my bite and his orgasm. Mine was coming in waves, amplified by the taste of him running down my throat. I pulled my head back and howled like a wild animal as he nuzzled my breasts with his face.

We stayed in that position until the water started to chill, making me shiver. Eric used his amazing strength to stand up with me still wrapped around him and maneuvered us out of the tub. I let myself down, groaning because I didn't want to part from him, and grabbed a towel for each of us. I was drying myself off when I heard him chuckle behind me.

"Whats so funny?"

"I was recalling a dream I had during my rest. It's unusual that I had a dream at all, I usually do not. But this dream was spectacular. We were on a balcony, I could see the ocean and a full moon over it, you were wearing a white dress which I had so tenderly pulled up over your amazing ass. I was taking you from behind. It was very real."

I did my best to shield my reaction to this. I had somehow managed to "brain-mail" my little fantasy from the shower to his sleeping mind. What else had he been privy too while he slept?

He stepped outside of the bathroom while I finished drying myself. I heard some movement, I figured he was going into his "closet" for clothing.

I heard the muffled ring of his cellphone and one side of a brief conversation in Swedish. I knew that if I concentrated hard enough now I could decipher it but I felt as if I had already snooped enough for one day. Eric would reveal the important stuff to me in his own time and I trusted him to do so.

"Sookie, Pam will be here soon and she is bringing you some fresh clothing."

I had packed a bag last night at my house but after the dresser top sex with Bill as an audience, I had been so bum-fuzzled that I walked right out and forgot it. Eric stuck his head back in the door. A mischievous grin lit his face as he looked at me.

"Incidentally, I did not steal those lacy underthings from you."

I could feel my face burning. I was so busted.

"I stole them from Bill Compton, who had stolen them from you. He is the quote panty thief unquote. Would you like them back now?"

"I think I would much rather torture you with the knowledge that for the rest of the night, I'm having a free for all down below. No matter where we go tonight, just know that I am going bareback."

I playfully glared at him as I walked past. He reached out to pull me to him and I smacked his hands away with mock horror.

"Come on, Mr. Northman, what would Pam think if she walked in and found us doing what I'm sure she suspects we've been doing that's made you late for work?" He growled his answer.

"She would think of doing one of two things. Either watching or joining, maybe a combination of the two."

I have to be honest ya'll. The mental visual he projected turned me on more than just a little.