A/N: Warning: If you read the title of this story, you'll know where it's heading. I had a lot of inner conflict about this story. I debated with myself on whether I was going to post it at all. In the end, I decided to post it because it's all a part of life.

I do not own the characters. They belong to E.L. James.

~~~xxx~~~

Goodbye Ray

Ana's POV:

I'm sitting here, in a sterile hospital room, holding Ray's hand surrounded by the scent of Disinfectant while listening to machines beeping, doctors being paged and the faint sounds of nurses chatting in the hallway. It's been three days since he had his stroke and he's been unconscious ever since.

He has the best doctors in the world but sometimes, you just can fix what's broken. Yesterday Ray's doctors told me he would never wake up. I already knew what they were going to tell me. I saw the sad look in Grace's eyes when she read his chart. I want to crawl up in a corner and separate myself from this reality, but I can't do that to Ray. I'm all he has. He took care of me as a girl and I will take care of him until the end.

We have all the money one could ever need, power, prestige, fame, yet none of these things could possibly change life's inevitable plan. We can't buy ourselves out of this. Christian can't broker a deal and fix this broken man.

I feel like I'm on autopilot now. I'm going through all the motions, but I don't feel. I'm numb. I'm doing what needs to be done...for Ray. I knew immediately what Ray would want. We're taking him off life support tomorrow. The doctors say once he's off all of the machines, it probably won't be long before he dies.

I look at him lying in this bed. He still looks like my Dad. This is Ray. How could he be gone? I already signed the papers to remove his life support. It felt like I was signing off on my Dad to die, giving them permission to end his life. I guess I was. It's what Ray would want. I have to keep reminding myself, it's what Ray would want; it's what Ray would want. It's become my mantra. It's so much easier for me to be selfish and keep him hooked up here... here with me. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do for the one's we love is to let them go.

It's a strange feeling knowing that while I'm sitting here right now, with him, holding his hand, talking to him, watching his heart beating on the heart monitor, tomorrow my Father will die. Dead. My Dad is never coming back to me.

This is so unfair. Carrick was in the hospital not long ago and he came home. Why didn't Ray get another chance? My God, what am I saying? I'm so grateful Carrick is home and recovered. I have to try to stop my mind from these thoughts. I wish I could just shut off my brain for a little while and stop thinking. I wish I could go somewhere...anywhere but here...where this sad reality doesn't exist.

But the wayward thoughts that are going through my head never stop. What funeral home should we use? Should I go there today and choose the floral arrangements? What about a luncheon after the funeral? I should probably contact someone about the menu. Does Phoebe have appropriate clothes for the wake? Shit...I can't believe I'm thinking these things, while my Dad is very much alive next to me. Well, technically very much alive.

Oh Ray.

Everyone has been so supportive. Helping me anyway they can. Christian arranged to have the jet bring Teddy home. It was awful telling him what happened over the phone. I think back to last night when Christian and I told Phoebe that her Grandpa Ray wasn't going to make it.

We had just arrived home from the hospital when Phoebe greeted us in the kitchen.

"How's Grandpa today, Mom?"

"Phoebe, why don't you sit down? Dad and I want to talk to you about Grandpa."

"Is he getting better?"

I look over at Christian and he closes his eyes and nods for me to continue.

"No baby. Grandpa is never going to get better."

"I don't understand" She tilts her head looking confused.

"The stroke was too much for this body, honey. Grandpa will never wake up."

Tears begin to well in her eyes.

"Find some doctors who can help him. Dad, can't you do something?"

Christian is Phoebe's hero. In her eyes, he can fix anything.

"Sorry baby. I wish I could. This is something I can't fix." Christian says softly, as he puts his hand on her shoulder.

"So what happens next?"

I take her hand and look directly into her eyes.

"Baby, we are going to take Grandpa off of the life support machines."

"Is he going to die?"

I take a breath.

"Yes"

"Then why are you doing this?"

"Because it's what Grandpa would want"

"You're just giving up on him? How can you do that to him? Dad, get your jet and fly out more doctors. You can't just let him die. Don't abandon him like this. How can you do this to him?"

We both know this is her grief talking. Christian looks down and shakes his head.

"Phoebe this is something we can't control. Grandpa wouldn't want to be on machines. We have to respect that. I know this is hard to hear. If there were any way to bring your Grandfather back to us, we'd move Heaven and Earth to make it happen. We just can't. So we have to be brave and do this for him, even though it's difficult for us."

Her tear stained face looks up at us. I think she sees our pain and she understands.

"Will he die right way? I mean, right after you take the machines away?"

"The doctors don't think it will be long after"

"Can I see him first?"

Christian and I both look at each other. Is that a good idea?

"Of course baby. Tomorrow."

"OK"

~~~~xxx~~~~

Today there are a few friends and family coming by to say their final goodbye's to my Dad. Mr. Rodriguez was here earlier. My Mom flew in to support me and wanted to see with him privately. Teddy and Phoebe both want to see him. I hope that's not going to be too hard for them. Christian looked reluctant to see him alone. I told him there's no right or wrong decision and I mean it. It may be too hard for him and I have to respect that. Of course, I will say my goodbye. I have to be strong for Ray and get through this.

One by one, we shuffle into his room.

Graces POV:

"Dear Ray. I want to thank you for raising that darling girl. Ana has been a Godsend to our family. She saved my son's life. We owe her so much. She changed him. She brought him happiness. I wondered if it would ever be possible for Christian to be happy. I don't have to tell you that our children's happiness is our happiness. She's a very special girl. You and Carla did well. I know how proud you are of her and it's obvious that she just adores you.

We both raised children who weren't born to us, but born for us to love and care for. We're both so very blessed.

I want you to know that we love Ana like she was our own daughter and you don't need to be concerned about her...she will always have our love and support.

We will look after her and love her always."

Carla's POV:

"Ray, Ray, Ray.

We sure had some good times, didn't we? Remember when you took the three of us camping? You would go fishing and leave me to clean the fish you caught. Goodness, I butchered the poor fish and eventually you had to take over. Cooking was never my strong suit, was it?

Ana told me you had a few lady friends over the years. I'm surprised none of them snatched you up and took you down the aisle. I guess you were pretty set in your ways. Such a fine independent man. Speaking from experience, you are quite the catch. Any of your lady friends would have been lucky to be married to you.

I don't know how to thank you for loving our girl from the day you met her. You took on a widow as well as her baby , loved and raised her as if she was your own. You're a good man, Raymond Steele. A very good man. The both of you always had such a special bond. Between you and me, in a lot of ways, I think she's closer to you than me. That's alright. Fathers and their daughters.

I know you worry about her, but I promise you Ana will be ok. She has Christian and the kids, all the Greys and of course me and Bob. It'll be ok, Ray. I promise.

I'll miss you Ray."

Phoebe POV:

"Hi Grandpa. Mom wasn't so sure I should see you but I had to. She offered to come in with me, but I wanted to see you alone. There are some things I needed to get off my chest, stuff between you and me.

Do you remember when Teddy and I were staying at your house for a weekend and you were going to take us fishing and you couldn't find your tackle box anywhere? I was eight, I think. You had us help you search all over your house for it. It almost ruined our trip. I want to confess...I hid the tackle box. I'm sorry Grandpa. I didn't want to go fishing.

And remember the time I accidentally bumped into the bucket holding the fish you and Teddy caught. It wasn't an accident. I felt bad for the fish and tried to set them free. I'm sorry Grandpa. You didn't even get mad at me. You told me there were plenty of fish to catch again.

And the time you couldn't find your new fishing lures, those bright colored fishing flies you made? I took them to decorate my Barbie Dream Home. I'm sorry Grandpa...I couldn't resist the bright colors and the Dream Home looked so boring.

Mom said you used to make her tea to make her feel better. I think she'll need a lot of tea when you're gone. I promise you, I'll make her tea whenever she gets sad.

I'll miss you Grandpa. I'll even miss hearing your fishing stories. I hope you get to do a lot of fishing in heaven. I love you."

Teddys POV:

"Hey Grandpa. This really sucks. I'm sorry this is happening.

I'll never forget all of our fishing trips. We sure had some good times on the water. Between you and me, you always made better fly fishing flies than my Dad. I think he knows it too, but he'll never give us the satisfaction of admitting it.

And thanks for the target practice in your backyard. It was always fun. I kept my word and never let Dad know we were shooting. I think he'd go ballistic if he ever found out.

I still have that small wooden chest we made when I was ten. I suppose if this Harvard thing doesn't work out, I can always fall back on carpentry, like you. Too bad we can't do anymore projects like that. I'll miss doing stuff like that with you.

You don't have to worry about Mom. I'll always take care of her. I love you Grandpa."

Chrisitians POV:

"Hi Ray.

As you know, I'm not much of a talker, but I wanted to thank you for allowing me to marry your daughter. I've brokered a lot of deals in my day, but that was the only one that counted. I was pretty nervous making that phone call to you. It meant a lot to Ana that you gave you rather reluctant blessing.

I'll miss our fishing trips. Ana hates fishing, so it was nice to find someone who could appreciate it.

You are a good, decent man, and I'm honored to be your son in law.

I promise you, I will always love your daughter. I will always take care of her, respect her and protect her. You will never have to worry about that.

Goodbye Ray."

Ana's POV:

"Hey Dad. It's me, Annie."

I sit down and hold his hand.

"Remember when we went to Disney? Oh that was the best trip. I can't remember smiling so much.

"Dad, remember this...oh and please excuse my singing voice, ahem...it's a world of laughter, a world or tears"

I can feel myself choking up.

"It's a world of hopes, it's a world of fear, there's so much that we share."

There's a huge lump in my throat now and my voice is cracking.

"That its time we're aware..." I want to get through this song "it's a small world after all."

I wipe the tear running down my cheek.

"I dragged you on the It's a Small World ride five times. You never complained, even though they played that song over and over and over again. I saw you rolling your eyes every time I'd ask to go on again. I guess it was a pretty corny ride but you always took me back.

It truly was one of the best days of my life. Thank you for sharing that day with me."

Sigh.

"Thank you for checking for monsters under my bed and zombies in my closet. Thank you for holding my hands to warm them up when you took me out fishing. You sure did like to go out early in the morning, didn't you? Thank you for sitting at my tea parties with my Barbie dolls and stuffed animals when I was five. I'm sure the luke warm iced tea wasn't your favorite, but you drank it anyway.

Thank you for making tea for me whenever I needed comfort. I still do that for Phoebe and Teddy. It's what we Steele's do, isn't it?

Thank you for teaching me how to shoot straight. Who would have thought that would come in handy? Oh, sorry Dad. I know that episode is your least favorite subject. Target practice was so much fun, setting up the soda cans and shooting them down. And when Barbie and Ken broken up, you let me shoot Ken too. I was pretty darn good, wasn't I?

Thank you for teaching me how to drive. Don't think I didn't see you hitting the imaginary brake pedal that wasn't on the passenger's side! Jeez, Dad. We weren't going to crash. And I don't care what you and Christian say, I most definitely am a good driver."

"Speaking of Christian...between you and me...I think he's a little afraid of you." I chuckle. "He looked a little panicked when he handed me the phone after he asked you if he could marry me. I know he has a lot of respect for you. You always said he is a good man. He really is Dad. I know he can be a bit of a control freak on occasion, but he's a good man. And he loves me. Thank you for giving your blessing. I know it was sudden, but you trusted me and allowed me follow my heart. I always knew he'd be the only one for me.

Am I doing the right thing, Dad? I know this is what you'd want. I want to give you what I know you want, but it's hard. This really sucks Dad. How am I going to go on without you?

I'm so honored to be your daughter. So honored that you gave me your name. Any man can be a father but it takes a special man to be a Dad. I'm so grateful for everything you've done for me and I'm going to miss you everyday.

When you meet my birth father, can you tell him that I've always had a happy life? I have always felt loved. Let him know that you took good care of me and I couldn't ask for a better Dad to raise me. Tell him I'm sorry he never got to meet Christian, Phoebe or Teddy and I hope you'll both look over us.

Even when you're gone, I will still love you. You don't need to physically be here for me to love you. That will never ever stop.

Sleep now Daddy. I'll see you in the morning."

I kiss his forehead and meet Christian in the hallway. He puts his arm around me and we walk toward the elevators. I take one last glance toward Ray's room. My whole world is going to be different tomorrow.

~~~xxx~~~

I'm lying in our bed, staring at the ceiling. This is so surreal. Tomorrow Ray is going to die. How do I reconcile that? Tomorrow Ray is going to die.

I have to stay strong. I have to. I have no choice. Tomorrow I will wake up and the worst day of my life will begin.

Christian climbs into bed and looks at me with concern. Surely he knows I have a million things going through my mind.

"Is there anything I can do for you, baby?"

"Just hold me, please."

He scoots in behind me, coming up close, with his arms wrapped around me.

And I lose it, quietly sobbing, mourning my Dad.

Christian says nothing, and continues to holds me tight until I fall into an exhausted sleep.

~~~xxx~~~

We're all gathered at the hospital, with me are Christian, Mom, Phoebe, Teddy, Mr. Rodriguez and all the Grey's. The hospital staff requested we leave the room while they unhook all the machines from Ray. I look at our family around us. I see sadness in everyone's eyes but mostly, I see love for a great man.

We get the ok to go in the room. The nurse whispers in my ear that it shouldn't be long. The room looks different now. I don't see tubes down Ray's throat and IV's hanging everywhere. He has an oxygen mask on now. His breathing is labored. The heart monitor is still hooked up and we watch his heart beating on the screen.

I sit in the chair next to him and hold his hand.

"I'm here Daddy" I tell him

We're all silent, gathered around his bed, as the end of this great man's life is unfolding before us.

An hour has passed and his breathing is very shallow. I look up at the heart monitor and I see his heart is beating very slowly now, barely a blip.

He's leaving us.

I pull off his oxygen mask and whisper in his ear.

"It's ok, Dad. You can let go now. I promise I will be ok. I'll always love you, Dad. Always."

The heart monitor line goes flat.

And just like that...he's gone.

~~~xxx~~~

"We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, the goal is to create something that will." - Chuck Palahniuk