Chapter 22

Yessir, That's My Whammy

Eric was pacing back and forth behind his desk like a caged lion. His look was furious and I collected mentally that he was ready to find Bill Compton and have a vampiric version of the OK Corral.

'Eric, calm down. No harm done. Lets just glamor him and send him on his way."

"My glamor would be too strong for him. I am sure this will come as no surprise to you that your brother is rather simple and easily swayed."

"True enough. Well, maybe Pam can do it."

Eric shook his head vehemently.

"Sookie, believe me when I tell you that it would not be a good idea for Jason to leave here with Pam inside his head. It would be too tempting for me to allow her to proceed with what she has wanted to do to and with your brother for quite some time now. Although I personally find him bland, boring and a literal pain in my ass, I know he means something to you and I would not want to risk your favor."

"Chow?" I was running out of options, I wouldn't trust any of the other vamps in Fangtasia as far as I could throw them.

"I don't glamor guys."

Chow spat his answer at me venomously and then immediately apologized for his disrespectful tone underneath Eric's blistering glare. My lover was ferocious when it came to me and I was eating it up.

Why don't you try, Sookie?

Eric's voice in my head sounded pretty doubtful and I felt even more so.

"Well, for one, I'm not a vampire. Two, I wouldn't know how to go about it. Three, I don't even have a three, I'm not a vampire!"

"But you are a telepath and you have my blood inside of you. How much difference could there be for you to project your will instead of your thoughts? It cannot hurt to try."

He was encouraging me to try something that scared the bejeezus out of me but I didn't want him to be disappointed either. He'd said earlier that I amazed him and I wanted to keep that streak alive.

I pulled a chair in front of where Chow had dumped a hogtied, with his mouth duct-taped Jason. He glared at me and his mental anger was chafing my brain.

God damn you Sookie, stay out of my fuckin' head. You bitch, you ain't done nothin' except cause me trouble, got Gran killed, all of Bon Temps thinks your a trashy ass vamp-whore.....

"Look at me Jason, look me in my eyes," My voice was calm, soothing and slightly monotone. "Everything is going to be fine. You dreamed that I was running away to become a vampire. Wasn't that a silly dream, Jason?"

His eyes had glazed over a bit, it seemed it was working! He nodded his head slightly.

"You'll laugh about your dream when you wake up. What a funny dream! I guess you were just worried about me, since I am so far away on vacation and you aren't sure when I will come back. But you know that my new boyfriend, Eric, is with me and he is a stand-up kinda vampire who would never let any harm come to me. You really like him a lot!"

His affirmative nods became faster. He got more animated as my tone changed to excitement. It was like riling a dog up.

"But Bill Compton, what an asshole! You are so mad at him for cheating on me and telling horrible lies about me! You know you can't fight him because he's a vampire but that doesn't mean you can't hate him! You won't take his calls and will avoid him at all costs if you should run into him around town."

Color flooded the parts of his face that I could see above the duct tape. Damn, I was good at this and enjoying it a little too much!

"And Jason, if you happen to run into a woman named Lexie at a bar one night, run screaming the other way. She's infected with something that will make your dick turn green and fall off!"

I was surprised when every vampire in the room laughed, even Chow.

"Jason, you're so tired aren't you? Wouldn't it feel so good to go to sleep and stay dead to the world for a good solid eight hours?"

His eyelids were heavy and getting more so by the second.

"Just know that your sister loves you very much, stay away from Bill Compton no matter what and be a little bit wiser about who, where, and how when it comes to your sexual adventures."

He nodded one last time before he was completely out. I gently pulled the tape off of his mouth, taking as little skin and hair with it as I possibly could. His mouth hung slackly and a loud snore issued out of his throat.

Chow slung him like a sack of potatoes over his tattooed shoulder and headed for the back door. I already knew that Eric had given him explicit instructions of where and how to deliver my brother and his truck.

"That was most impressive, Sookie. I find you a most apt pupil."

I sighed as I slumped low in the seat in a very unladylike pose. I was impressed with myself but I was so over this bar tonight. I just wanted to get back to Eric's house and see how many new sex positions we could create before the sun came up.

I see you were not kidding about going au naturale tonight, lover.

I slyly opened my legs wider for a second and then crossed them primly. I licked my lips and tried to look thoughtful as I spoke.

"Were all Vikings as lustful and perverted as you, or are those things you picked up as a vampire."

"I would say that it is a fair combination of the two. But you, Sookie, seem to aggravate those attributes."

"I'll assume you meant that as a compliment."

"It most definitely was."

"So, how much more business do you need to attend to tonight. I feel anxious to get back to the Vamp-Cave for a work out of the naked kind."

"I'm very sorry to tell you this, Sookie..."

He looked down at this desk, his face was unreadable and he had purposefully blocked me from his thoughts. I felt a rush of fear and adrenaline. I didn't think I could handle anymore bad news tonight.

He drew his hand back and slid everything off of the top of his desk, sweeping it all into the floor.

"But this desk has never been properly christened. I cannot fathom how I have sat behind this desk so many times, trying to work and knowing that no one has ever fucked on top of it. Perhaps you could help me out with my dilemma?"

You bet your tight, hot, Scandinavian ass I can, Eric. Consider that desk not only christened but baptized as well.