A/N: Thank you for the reviews on the Cash Stone Story. It was a fun one to write.

I'm going in a different direction with this...filling in a BIG blank.

You'll know where we're going with this immediately.

I do not own the characters. They belong to E.L. James. This is just for fun.

~~~~~xxxxx~~~~~

The Five Day Rule- Part One

Christian POV:

"So Dad, you're going to New York tomorrow?"

"Yes, for five days I'll be out of your hair. Don't you and your mother get into any trouble why I'm gone," I joke

"What is it about you and Mom and five days? Your business trips never last more than five days." Phoebe is much like Ana, always eager for information.

"Years ago we made it a rule not to be apart any longer than five days, with very few exceptions, it's a rule we adhere to."

"Why... what's so special about five days?"

"We miss each other," I tell her truthfully.

"Jeez, Dad, you two are so sappy." She rolls her eyes. It's such a foul habit.

I smirk. Yes, I suppose we are.

I think back to the first time we were apart for five days, the darkest days of my life...

~~~xxx~~~
Saturday:

"Goodbye, Christian."

"Ana, goodbye."

She steps into the elevator and turns around with her back against the mirrored wall. Her sad blue eyes look up at me then look away as the doors close.

I sink onto the floor with my head in my hands. An aching sensation runs through my body. I feel physically ill. The emptiness and pain I feel is excruciating...twisting, agonizing pain. I rest my face into my hands, shaking my head back and forth in disbelief. She's gone. She's left me. What the fuck happened?

I look up and see my muted reflection in the steel elevator doors. I loathe who I see.

I hear the elevator beep and the steel doors begin to slide open, disappearing inside the walls. My heart races. I quickly look up, hopeful that Ana has changed her mind. Surely we can work this out. But it's Taylor, trying to hide his look of surprise that I'm here on the floor

"Miss Steele is at her apartment, Sir."

"How is she?" I managed to get out.

"Not well, Sir"

I look up at him and nod slowly. He pauses for a moment, not quite sure what to do next.

"Can I do anything else for you, Sir?" He asks uncomfortably.

"No. Thank you, Taylor." I rest my head back down into my hands, my forehead resting in my palms.

"Very well." He leaves me hunched on the floor, wallowing in my self pity.

She's gone. I can't believe she's left me. She's gone.

I can't sit on the fucking floor all day.

I'll take a shower…that should clear out my head and help me get back my bearings.

I step into the shower and put my face directly into the stream of hot water, trying to rinse away my despair. The steam is filling the room.

Fuck her. I shake my head. I told her from the beginning, if you go, that's it. Fuck her. She said she'd never leave and she left. She lied. Off with you. Goodbye.

But I know I don't mean it. No, no, no...The best thing that ever happened to me walked into that elevator and out of my life. I wish she were here with me right now. I'd have my hands all over her perfect soapy body. I love showering with her. I'll never have her again. I closed my eyes, pained.

I step out of the shower, feeling worse than before. I look across the bathroom at the ceramic tile wall where I had her last night… desperate, passionate and raw. She calmed me, soothed me like nothing or no one else could. She's like a drug to me. Now all I feel is hollow. I stare into the steamed mirror "Fuck you, Grey."

I wrap a plush white towel around my waist and walk back into my bedroom. There's a small box sitting on my pillow. I stop in my tracks, stunned. I know it's from her. I sit on the bed and pick up the box. It's a model kit for the Blanik L23 glider. There's a torn piece of paper resting on top of it with a note written on it:

.

.

This reminded me of a happy time.

Thank you

Ana

.

.

I'm breathless. She bought me a gift. A fucking gift. Shit.

I hold the note and trace over her name with my index finger, over and over... Ana….Ana….Ana.

This gift means more to me than anything I've amassed, because it's from her. Memories of our soaring fill my head. We had so much fun. I made her laugh. I made her smile.

I recall our time in Georgia, when I thought 'more' might be a possibility and how happy it made her, how happy it made me. Happiness...I'll never have that again.

She brought light into my life. My submissives were pleasant enough distractions, but Ana captured something inside of me I don't understand. Something I didn't know was there. I've come alive since I've met her. She's breathed life into my existence, taken away the tedium. She gave me something to look forward to.

But her words haunt me.

"I know what I want and you can't give it to me, and I can't give you what you need."

She's right. We're no good for each other. She can't possibly be a part of my depraved world. And I can't give her what she deserves to have….happiness. Hearts and Flowers. I'm not capable that shit. I'm too fucked up. I'm a lost cause.

She said she loved me. She can't love me. It's wrong. I don't deserve love. I'm a monster. She better off without me. Better off far, far away from me.

Who was I kidding? We were destined to end. I was fooling myself. I don't deserve her. I don't deserve anything good or pure. I broke her with my depravity. I'm a sick twisted son of a crack whore who chased a sweet innocent girl and seduced her for my own pleasure and kicks. And then I hurt her.

But I still want her.

I get off the bed and get dressed. I take the model kit in hand and the note and go to my study.

I walk through the door of my study, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. Sitting at my desk, I absentmindedly run the tips of my fingers across the wood grain, remembering when Ana and I fucked on it. For such a sweet shy girl, she's brazen and damn sexy. She took control, her idea. She wanted me. Christ knows I wanted her. That was an unexpected treat.

As always with Ana, everything is unexpected.

I buzz Taylor in his office.

"Taylor, I need model glue"

"Model glue, Sir?"

"Yes, Model glue. For a plastic model kit."

Over the years, I've made some interesting requests for Taylor; from massage oils to purchasing underwear for women...he should be relieved I'm only asking for a fucking tube of glue.

"Very well, Sir."

I send a text to Andrea to send my regrets for the Gala tonight. I don't fucking feel like talking to or seeing anyone. It would have been the first time I brought a date anywhere. Another first never meant to be.

My first date….my first girlfriend. My sweet Anastasia. I would have been proud to have her on my arm, show her off. She would have looked so beautiful. She would have made the night fun for us. Her smile would have brightened our night. What I'd do to see her smile now.

The pain grips my heart, squeezing it tight. Is this ever going to stop? I don't see an end. I look out my study's window and I see light, but all I feel is darkness…dull, aching, endless darkness.

I call Welch to check for any more developments on Leila. Another fucking brick wall. Her asshole husband told us jack shit.

Taylor arrives back with the glue. As he hands it to me, he pauses, trying to access my mood and what the hell I'm doing with model glue. I look up at him and we lock eyes for a moment. His eyes quickly dart over toward the model kit box and open slightly wider. I'm sure he's worked out who it's from. His usual impassive face softens and he actually looks concerned for me. Judging by the way he's observing me, I must really look like shit. I'm sure the horror of the early morning's events is apparent on my face. He clears his throat.

"Is there anything I can get for you, Mr. Grey?" He asks softly.

"No. That will be all." I mutter, keeping my head down.

He hesitates to leave. The anger in me is beginning to build. Christ, just get the fuck out of here already and leave me the fuck alone.

"Taylor, just go," I growl.

"Sir." He nods and finally leaves.

Normally, I'd play music to suit my mood when I'm in here…but there's nothing that suits me. I can't bear to hear anything. Silence is all I deserve.

I open the box, careful not to drop any of the contents. Everything inside this box is precious to me, because it was from her. I unfold the instructions and begin to read. I need to focus on this; I need to get this right.

I open my desk draw to get a razor knife that I remembered I had, when I come across a red leather Cartier box. I pick up the box and open it. Inside is the pair of dangling diamond earrings I purchased for Ana to wear at tonight's Gala. They would have looked so beautiful on her. She would have made them beautiful. Everything about her was beautiful. I feel a sinking feeling in the pit in my stomach. Surely, this must be hell.

I close the box, carefully putting it back in my desk draw and focus back to the task in hand. The model kit. With the razor in hand, I cut each part from the sprue, careful to keep them in order. And begin working on the kit.

I finally complete the model. It needs to dry before I can apply the decals. I look out my study's window, its pitch black outside. How the fuck long have I been doing this? I look at up the clock and its 11:30pm. I've missed breakfast, lunch and dinner and I don't care.

I don't know what to do with myself without Ana here to liven up the night with her smart mouth. I wonder what's she's doing now? Is she as miserable as I am? Probably not you idiot, she left you. She's probably relieved.

I walk upstairs to her room. It's the closest I can be to her. I step in and hold the pillow she laid upon. I inhale it deeply. I'm desperate for any part of her. It still holds her sweet scent. I miss her. The corner of my eye spots the bottle of Advil and the arnica cream sitting on the night table. The sight makes me sick.

What have I done? Why did I hit her so hard? I'm selfish, that's why. I was too wrapped up in my own kicks. Why didn't she safeword? I would have stopped immediately. Why didn't she safeword? I don't understand.

I replay the night's events over in my head, over and over. How did it come to this? How could things have been different?

"We'll never get past that will we?" Her words haunt me.

No, because I'm a depraved beast. I'm shit. I should have followed my original instinct. She's is too innocent and good for me. You couldn't stay away, Grey. You couldn't leave her alone.

I walk into the kitchen. I open the refrigerator and see a neat pile of packaged meals Gail has prepared for the weekend. I'm just not hungry. I close the refrigerator and turnaround. On the countertop are Ana's laptop, cell phone and car keys. Another reminder of what was and will never be again. I feel a crushing pain. I grab Ana's things and bring them to my bedroom. I gently place them on my night table.

I'm so tired. I'm just so fucking tired. I want to sleep. I don't want to deal with these feelings anymore.

I change my clothes and lie down in my bed. I reach over to Ana's side of the bed. I really like having her with me. I loved waking up to her beautiful face. Forget it Grey. It's never going to happen again.

.

He's come back. Mommy's asleep or she's sick again…

There you are, you little shit

.

A chilling wail wakes me and I'm soaked in sweat. My heart is pounding out of my chest. What the fuck? I bolt upright in bed. Fuck. They're back. The noise was me. I take a deep breath, trying to rid my mind of cheap bourbon and stale cigarettes.

I shake my head. I have to get out of here. I get out of bed and walk to my piano.

I run my hand across the smooth black wood, memories flood my mind. I remember our first night together. She joined me on the piano bench as I played. How did this girl get under my skin? I play the Bach Marcello piece, over and over. But I don't work out anything. Why didn't she safeword? I just don't understand.

I'm so fucking tired. I leave the room and try again to let sleep find me.

Sunday:

I wake up alone in bed to a beeping sound. What the fuck? I look over and it's Ana's cell phone alarm. She had it set to remind her to take her birth control pill. It's still set on East Coast time. That's so like her. I smile. Only Ana would start a time specific pill in another time zone. Dread fills my mind once again. I wonder if she's still taking her birth control pill.

I stare up at the ceiling...my wheels wont stop turning.

She's going to move on. Her sexuality has been awakened. It won't be long before some fucker has her. She's beautiful, smart, and so fucking sexy.

She has no idea how men react to her. Jose Mother Fucker Rodriguez, that fucker in the hardware store who was pawing at her, Kate's brother...they all want her. Once she begins her new job and the fuckers there get a look at her, they'll want her too. She won't be alone for long.

They'll want to touch her beautiful alabaster skin. Kiss those beautiful lips; bury themselves deep inside her, making her come. Be where only I have been. Have their filthy hands all over her perfect naked body. Perfect for me. She's mine. They can't have her. Fuck.

A bitter taste rises in my throat, my nostril flare as my teeth clench. I'm so angry, just the thought of someone touching her makes me want to kill them.

Aaarrggg. I run my hands through my hair. I have to calm down and stop this.

I don't understand these feelings. I never cared when a submissive left. I didn't care who she fucked when we were finished. But the thought of Ana with anyone else, is too much for me to bear. What are these...feelings?

My head is fucking pounding. No doubt from the lack of sleep and food. I drag myself out of bed and go to the kitchen. Memories of Ana's first morning here flood my mind. Visions of Ana in pigtails dancing around, cooking breakfast, she looked so young and sexy. I violently shake my head. Stop this! It's done.

I was hopeful that a new day would be better, but I can already tell...it's going to continue to be dark.

I open the cabinet to grab the coffee and see the box of English Breakfast Tea on the top shelf. Anger rises inside of me. I'm angry at me. I'm angry at her. I'm just so fucking angry. I grab the box and furiously throw it across the kitchen until it hits the wall on the opposite side and falls to the floor. Just my luck Taylor walks in during my loss of self control. He gives me a sympathetic look but says nothing and goes back to his office.

What the fuck is he doing out here anyway? Probably making sure I didn't off myself.

I make coffee and some toast. That's all I can handle.

I still can't shake this feeling of dread. Everywhere I look I see her. I can't escape her sad blue blues.

"Is this what you really like? Me like this? Well, you are one fucked-up son of a bitch. You need to sort your shit out, Grey""

Her words cut through me. I suppose deep down I knew she'd never be able to handle the heavy shit. I was fooling myself. She was fooling herself.

I need to run. Clear out my head. I call Taylor and tell him to be ready in fifteen minutes.

Once we walk through the lobby doors outside, I feel the heat of the sun on my face. How can the sun be shining, when all I feel is darkness? We run six miles at a grueling pace. I want to outrun my problems, but I can't. Taylor is practically attached to me. I guess he can see I'm a million miles away; he's probably worried I'll run straight into traffic.

The run doesn't help. I'm still miserable. I take a shower and go to my study. As much as I'd like to wallow in my problems, I have responsibilities I can't ignore.

I sit at my desk. The glider is on the corner. I peek over at it and try to ignore it. I open my laptop and throw myself into work. I'll just deal with what has to be addressed, Ros can deal with the other shit.

First order of business is completing the purchase of SIP. I had paperwork on the publishing companies already in hand when Ana went on her interviews. She accepted the offer at SIP, so that's what I want. I have to know she is safe. I can keep tabs on her this way. Make sure she is treated properly.

I send Ros an email to make the purchase of SIP happens. Now. Then I continue with the rest of my emails.

I look again at the glider model. The decal sheet is lying next to it. I can't ignore it anymore. It's calling to me. I move my laptop over to the side and gently grab the glider model. I unfold the instructions and carefully place each decal in the appropriate spot. There's a knock on my study door.

"Yes?"

Taylor opens the door.

"Sir, just checking to see if there's anything you need?" He looks down at the glider in front of me then back to me. He must think I've completely snapped. Maybe I have.

"No. Thank you, Taylor. I won't need anything else today."

Is he checking up on me? Am I that bad off?

I finish placing the decals on the glider and put the glider back on the corner of my desk.

I open my laptop again, exhale, and continue to work.

Work was a distraction, but that's all it was, a distraction. I still can't shake the empty feeling in pit in my stomach.

I have to keep myself busy. Keep my mind on something else. I start cleaning up my emails when I come across the last email from Ana. I click on it to open it. Just to see her written words makes my heart flutter. I touch the screen, like I'm reaching out to touch her. In the email, she was telling me they were shutting the plane doors and joked about my deafness. I really enjoyed our emails.

Her words were always challenging whether verbal or written.

I start perusing through our old emails. And again, a dark sadness overwhelms me.

I have to stop doing this to myself. It's torturous.

My cell phone rings...My heart skips a beat, for a moment I'm hopeful...Ana? I look down and see its Elena. I exhale, crushed.

"Elena," I grunt.

"Don't sound so enthusiastic, Christian," she jokingly admonishes.

"What do you want, Elena?"

"I just called to catch up, see how your trip to Georgia went with your little friend."

"Fine," I bark

"Christian, what's wrong? You sound positively miserable."

"Nothing."

"Christian, I know you better than anyone. Talk to me."

Oh fuck it.

"She left me."

"Oh?"

"I punished her. It was too much for her and she left."

"Not everyone is into the scene Christian. You should have known better than to chase an inexperienced college co-ed. I'll come to Escala."

"No, don't."

"Christian ... I'll be there shortly"

"No, I don't want company."

She sighs.

"As you wish. It really is for the best that this ended now."

"Yes, of course," I mumble.

"We'll set up interviews for a new submissive better suited to your needs."

"Goodbye Elena." I hang up before she can say another word and toss my phone down on the desk.

I don't want another fucking submissive. I want Ana. Just Ana.

Elena is the one who encouraged me to go to Georgia. I wonder if she knew this was destined to fail.

It's so quiet in my study. Eerily quiet. I jump when my cell rings again. Ana? I retrieve it from the end of my desk where I threw it after my conversation with Elena. It's Mia. I'm sure she's calling about the Coping Together Gala next weekend. She's probably looking to pester me about Ana coming. I don't want to have that conversation today. I let it go to voice mail.

I look out the window, wondering what Ana is doing now. Taylor said she was unwell when he drove her home. I wonder if she's alright. If she's eaten. She doesn't take care of herself properly.

I don't know how long I've been mindlessly staring out the window when I notice the aroma of food cooking. What the fuck?

I go into the kitchen and see Gail preparing dinner. Gail looks up at me and gives me a half smile, her eyes carefully observing me. I can see she looks dismayed…worried maybe? I know I haven't shaved, but judging by the slight widening of her eyes, I must really look bad. I know I haven't slept much.

"Gail, what are you doing here? It's Sunday."

"Oh, I got back from my visit with my sister early and thought you might like a hot dinner."

Surely Taylor's filled her in on the weekend's events. I'm really not hungry, but it's easier just to go along with her.

"I see. Thank you."

"Dinner will be ready in ten minutes. Will that be ok?"

"Fine. Yes. Thank you."

She opens her mouth like she wants to say more, but decides against it and turns back to the stovetop to finish cooking.

Fantastic, now my staff is babysitting me.

I'm sure Gail's dinner was delicious, but I didn't taste a thing. I feel numb inside.

I don't know what to do with myself. I walk aimlessly around the penthouse until I find myself in front of the playroom. I force myself to go inside.

The first thing I see is the belt I hit Ana with, innocently hanging among a row of other belts and punishment implements. I look over to the bench where I had Ana bend over before I hit her. Six times.

Her reaction shocked me. So raw. So angry. What did I do? I should have known. How did everything go so wrong, so quickly? Why didn't she safeword?

I am a monster.

I can't be here anymore. I close the door and walk over to the piano.

I play Prelude opus twenty-eight, number four in E minor; the Chopin piece I was playing when Ana was with me.

I throw myself into the music, but it's futile. Nothing helps this feeling of despair.

I go back into my bedroom and change. I lay in my bed, looking over at Ana's empty side. This bed feels so different without her. I feel so different without her.

I close my eyes and fall into a fitful sleep

~~~~xxxx~~~~

Mommy is sobbing on the floor as he hits her with a belt.

Come here you little shit…..

~~~xxx~~~