A/N: And I'm back, with another quick-fire update to boot! Reading through my reviews, I discovered that I have lost two of my readers simply by pairing Ashley and Garrus together in this fic. Honestly, I cannot see the problem in doing that. Most people would find it refreshing for the former xenophobic Gunnery Chief to start falling for the future vigilante. But I digress, everyone is entitled to their own feelings and who am I to judge.
This chapter is a little short and is all dialogue. But with the end of the ME1 arc fast approaching I wanted to wrap up certain things and set the ground work for the final battle. And to a few of my other reviews, this chapter will cover a few things about Alex that haven't been explained yet. So enjoy!
I own nothing
Alexander 'Maverick' Drake
SSV Normandy - Mess Hall
August 18, 2183 - 09:26 hours
He hadn't slept a wink. Though given his posture and demeanor one wouldn't think that. Alex really wasn't one for showing weakness in a dire situation. And after everything that had happened up until now he had nearly become a master at hiding what he was really feeling.
But right now he couldn't have felt any lower.
Five Alliance Marines died under his command. And Kaidan had been in surgery for the last ten or so hours from an overloaded biotic implant.
The nano soldier had been in the mess hall watching over the med-bay doors since he changed out of the suit. Jane had been with him, not saying a word as they stood vigilante. But a call from Alliance Command had come up and he promised to keep watch while she was away.
Everyone else from Virmire, including Captain Kirrahe and the surviving members of his team had gotten away with an array of injuries. But they were at least alive and able to recover without difficulty.
Alex sighed and rubbed his eyes. It was always the same in the end. The harder he tried to changed the inevitable it ended up blowing up in his face. He had hopes of saving everyone on Virmire, and instead he ended up making one of his friends suffer.
"It wasn't your fault." he looked up from the table he was sitting at to see Garrus standing over him. "I've seen that look enough times to know what it means Alex. The only one to blame in all of this is Saren."
The nano soldier chuckled humorlessly. "Nice words Garrus, but I find it hard to believe them." he looked back at the locked med-bay doors. "Despite everything I'm capable of I let those men die. Kaidan stepped in to fight Saren when I should have put the bastard down right off."
"The price of victory, Alex." said Garrus solemnly. "As harsh as it sounds it's the truth. And in war there are always casualties."
Alex slammed his fists hard on the table and stood up, "God I'm so sick of hearing that shit! Sick of war, death, suffering...GAH! I'm sick of all of it!" he shouted punching the wall next to him and leaving a dent in the bulkhead.
Garrus' eyes widened, mandibles slack. He had never seen his friend like this. Even before he was revealed to be Maverick, Alex had always been the picture of calm and collective under any situation.
Taking a few deep breaths, Alex turned to the Turian with a dead look in his eyes. Garrus then saw what the Post-Human had truly been through.
The team watched what he had experienced through his eyes, but never grasped what it had done to his mind. The sheer amount of death and destruction that surrounded and followed him wherever he went had left a deep impression on him that cut deeper than any of his physical scars.
"But I can't just give it all up, can I?" Alex said with his voice just as hollow as his eyes. "Because there is always another mission. Another war to fight. Another enemy to kill. I don't get the luxury of hanging up my guns."
Garrus went to say something when the med-bay doors opened. Chakwas stepped out looking a few years older than she did the day before. "We managed to stabilize Lieutenant Alenko's condition. But the amount of damage done cannot be fixed on the ship. We need to transfer him to the medical facility on Arcturus for proper treatment."
"What's the diagnosis?" asked Jane urgently, coming around the corner after ending her call from Admiral Hackett.
Chakwas sighed; "The L2 biotic implant has always been a double-edged sword for those unlucky enough to receive them. They are prone to overloading quicker than the new L3 models, and the more it is used the more damage it causes the user."
"The amount of damage Kaidan has suffered is extensive. I operated as best I could, but I don't have the proper equipment to completely repair the damage. He will need to have his implant replaced and the damaged area repaired before he can start recovering." explained the doctor.
"Wait! The replacement of a biotic implant is a dangerous surgery. Aren't there any other options?" asked Jane worried about her surrogate brother.
"I'm afraid it's the only option." said Chakwas grimly. "The damage caused by the L2 overloading is serious. Without treatment..." she trailed off and the words hung in the air. "Arcturus station's medical wings have the equipment necessary to perform such a surgery. It's his only hope."
Alex closed his eyes. Simplifying the doctor's words; Kaidan would die without the surgery, but he could also die during the surgery from its complexity. Either way the Lieutenant was balancing on a razor's edge.
"I'm sorry." he said loud enough that everyone looked in his direction. Opening his eyes, he locked gazes with Jane. "If I had just killed that bastard sooner this wouldn't have happened. Kaidan wouldn't be knocking on death's door."
The Commander's eyes widened, "Alex no, it's not-" He held up his hand stopping her.
"It's something I should have expected. No matter how many times I try to change things for the better, I'm reminded of why I'm not the hero people make me out to be. Just a weapon that kills and destroys." he said with such emptiness that Jane felt her heart clench.
"Alex, don't do this to yourself." said Garrus.
The nano soldier shook his head, "It's not something I don't already know. It's something I accepted long ago." he spun on his heel and left the room without another word, leaving the others watching after him.
"He's breaking." said Chakwas. "After everything he was forced to endure, I'm surprised that he hasn't already fallen into depression. His will must be amazingly resilient to withstand such stress and trauma for so long. But now it's all becoming too much."
Garrus looked at the doctor, "How bad is he?" asked the Turian.
"There is only one other person I've ever known to have such negativity in their eyes." Chakwas looked at Jane who's gaze was on the floor. "And I believe she is the only one who can relate to what he is going through."
The Commander took a deep breath. "I'll go talk to him." she looked at the doctor. "Keep me updated on Kaidan's condition. I'll tell Joker to head to Arcturus immediately." with that she followed after her fellow Spectre.
X
Commander Jane Shepard
SSV Normandy - Gym
August 18, 2183 - 09:39 hours
Finding the nano soldier hadn't been hard. Jane found him in the gym wailing on a heavy bag with total abandon. His face a mask of stone as he punched again and again.
Approaching slowly, Jane stood a few feet away and just watched him work out his frustrations out before speaking to him. "Alex." she said over the sounds of the strikes.
He paused mid-swing a moment before going back at it again. Jane stepped closer and put a hand on his arm stopping him again, "Alex, stop. I want to know what's wrong." she said gently.
Alex clenched his other fist a few times, "Everything." he said barely above a whisper. He looked at her and the Commander had to stifle a gasp seeing the eyes that had once held warmth and strength were now hollow and dead. "Everything is wrong." he said sinking down to his knees.
"What do you mean? Alex talk to me. You've helped me, let me help you." urged Jane kneeling next to him.
The Post-Human took a deep breath, "Do you know what it's like to be called a hero when you know that your not? To know that no matter what you do to make things better for everyone you know it will only cause more damage?" he asked cryptically. "Ever since I was given the nano suit I've been cursed. I may not suffer from symbiosis like the other nano soldiers before me. But I have to endure something much worse."
"In New York, I watched countless Marines die around me. Fighting to the last man, to the last bullet, but in the end they fell to the Ceph. I saw civilians slaughtered before my eyes as I fought. Stepping over the bodies of the dead to put the bastards down. People I couldn't save because I had to focus on stopping the Ceph." he continued.
Alex looked at the Commander, "I'm no hero Jane. I'm not even Human anymore. The nanites and cybernetics in my body have changed me on such a level I don't even know what I am anymore. Hargreave called it being Post-Human, because he considered what the nano soldiers became because of symbiosis was the next evolutionary step for Humanity. But looking back, I know what it truly means."
He stood and faced the heavy bag again. "I became a science project, a living weapon of mass destruction, a FREAK!" he roared punching the heavy bag so hard the chain snapped and it stuck the far wall, making the dent that was already there even bigger.
Jane flinched, not from the outburst, but from the word 'freak'. One of the many names she heard people call the man before her from the video logs he showed them all before. "Freak, Tinman, Monster, Cyborg." Everything Commander Lockhart and his fellow CELL assholes had called him came back to her mind and filling her with rage.
"So what if I have all this goddamn strength and power." Alex went on. "I can't even use it to save my friends when they need me!" he raged on looking at his hands and clenching them. "I gave everything to save New York, but in the end all I can think about are the ones I couldn't save in time. Just like what happened on the Citadel, and now on Virmire."
Jane stood up. Truly seeing how broken Alex really was. She always believed that deep down he was as broken as she was. Only now did she realize how right she was on the subject.
"Your not a freak." she said soothingly. "You're a soldier who was given both a gift and a curse. Something that I believe that only someone with an iron will could handle. And I may not have had to experience what you did, but I do know what you're going through." she explained.
"On Elysium, I only had a handful of fellow Marines that were on shore leave with me when the Batarian's attacked. We managed to rally the locals together to help us defend the colony, many of them had never even held a gun. We all fought for days, holding our defenses as best we could until the Alliance came and helped clear the area."
The Commander had a far off look in her eyes as she spoke. "The Brass awarded me the Star of Terra for my bravery and leadership for holding the line. But to this day I remember those who lost their lives trying to save their homes while we waited for help. For all of my skills as a soldier and a leader, I couldn't save everyone. But that never stopped me from trying."
She reached out and grasped his large hand with her smaller one, "We can't save everyone Alex. We're the best at what we do, but that doesn't make it any easier to bare. And the team knew the odds when we went down on Virmire that the situation could get bad fast. Kaidan stood fearless even though he was outmatched."
"That's one of the reasons I look to him as a brother, we're a lot like and are willing to fight for the right reasons no matter the cost to us." Jane smiled up at him, "Prophet chose you to wear the nano suit for a reason. And seeing you fight, your strength and determination to do what is right, I can see what he saw in you."
The stress that had bared down on Alex's shoulders lifted little by little the more Jane spoke to him. He found himself smiling back at her from the words. "Thank you, Jane." he said gripping her hand back gently. "I just wish I could have done more."
"I don't know how, but I know deep in my heart that you did everything you could." said Jane. "And Kaidan will be alright. He's strong, and I know he can get through this."
Silence enveloped them for a few moments before Alex broke it. "He compared me to himself. Saren I mean." he said shocking the Commander. "Saying that we are both a fusion of metal and flesh, more advanced than the rest of the galaxy."
"You are NOTHING like him." Jane said sternly. "You both may be more than what would be normal, but your fighting to save the galaxy. While he is trying to bring back a race of machines to wipe us all out."
Alex raised his hands, "Easy there Jane. I threw roughly the same thing back at him before we started fighting. I don't think he'll be making that comparison ever again." he said with a chuckle.
The Commander laughed as well. Drawing closer to the nano soldier like a magnet. She couldn't help but be as close to him as she could. It was an attraction that she had trouble fighting every day. "I know things can get a little much with all that's going on. Just remember you can talk to me if you need it. You have just as much a right to vent as I do at times." she said after calming down.
Giving a nod, Alex relaxed as the two slipped into a comfortable silence. Both Spectres happy to be around the other
X
Alexander 'Maverick' Drake
SSV Normandy - Briefing/Comm Room
August 20, 2183 - 13:30 hours
After putting it off for a few days so that everyone could get medical treatment, the crew minus Kaidan sat in the briefing room to go over what happened back on Virmire.
"How's the LT's condition?" asked Ashley, her leg in a holo-cast. A pulse round tore through her thigh and shattered her femur on impact. The doctor said she'd make a full recovery, but would be out of action for two weeks because of it.
"Stable. We're en route to Arcturus station so he can receive better treatment." said Jane from the head of the room next to Alex. "After that we'll head to the Citadel. Captain Kirrahe and his team will be dropped off there while we speak to the Council about what we have learned."
"Think they'll believe any of this?" asked Tali.
"They won't have much of a choice." said Alex activating his omni-tool.
"THERE IS A REALM OF EXISTANCE SO FAR BEYOND YOUR OWN YOU CANNOT EVEN IMAGINE IT. I AM BEYOND YOUR COMPREHENSION. I AM SOVEREIGN." Sovereign's booming voice echoed through the room making everyone's blood freeze.
"That's the single most horrifying thing I've ever heard." said Ashley with a shiver. "And there are more of those things out there?"
"Yes, which is why we need to locate the Conduit and fast. Saren's probably got a strong lead already and we can't afford to lose more time." said Jane.
"Commander, if I may?" said Liara. "If the beacon we discovered in Saren's lab is similar to the one you found on Eden Prime, then it might have filled in the missing pieces of the vision. I might be able to finally help you piece it all together now."
Jane nodded, "You want to meld with me again. Alright, let's hope this works." she said walking to the center of the room and meeting the young Asari halfway.
"Relax Commander. Embrace Eternity!" said Liara with her eyes going black.
The two stood motionless, much like they had done before in the beginning of their mission. Minutes crawled by as the team waited for a reaction. After another minute the two gasped and separated from one another.
"...Goddess...the images were so...intense..." said Liara rubbing her forehead.
"Did they make better sense this time?" asked the Commander shaking her head.
"It's a distress call, a message sent out across the Prothean Empire. A warning against the Reapers, but the warning came too late." explained the young Asari.
"And the Conduit?" asked Alex.
Liara went through her thoughts, "There were images. Locations. Places I recognized from my research..." her head shot up. "Ilos! The Conduit is on Ilos!"
"I've never heard of this world." said Benezia focused intently on her daughter's words.
"I am not surprised. Ilos is in a region of space accessible only through the Mu Relay. That's why Saren needed the coordinates to it, it's the only way to get to Ilos." explained Liara.
"Then Ilos is our next destination." said Ashley.
"From what we could gather, the Mu Relay is deep in the Terminus Systems. Alliance ships aren't allowed there and neither are Spectres." said Garrus. "We'll need a good plan so we don't end up starting a galactic war."
"Saren will also have his entire fleet in orbit around Ilos to keep anyone away." added Benezia.
"We'll figure something out when we head to the Citadel. Until then, crew dismissed." said Jane as everyone filed out.
"I got the Council on vid-com guys. Figured you'd want to warn them about what's going on." said Joker over the intercom.
Alex slipped his helmet on as he and Jane faced the terminals. "Patch them through Joker." he said as the images appeared.
"Commander, Maverick. I'm pleased to see that your mission on Virmire was a success." said Tevos.
"Saren is formidable enough without an army of Krogan serving under him." agreed Sparatus.
"The Krogan would have served Sovereign. A Reaper." said Jane evenly.
"We ready about it in your reports. Sovereign. A sentient machine. A true artificial intelligence. This news is quite alarming." said Valern.
"I believe the evidence I submitted with our reports speaks for itself Councilors." said Alex leaving no room for bullshit. "If that thing is capable of controlling minds just by being in close proximity to people. Just consider what else it might be capable of."
"Saren could also be using this to fool you." said Sparatus. "Using his contacts on the Citadel to get reports on Shepard's visions and constructing a VI based on what she had seen."
"A VI doesn't grabbed one of my own and attempt to destroy his mind." hissed Jane indignantly. Alex touched her arm which calmed her slightly.
"You must be open to the idea that Saren is using false information to throw you off balance. Our own intelligence never turned up any corroborating information about what was shown to us." said Valern.
"Maybe that's the point." said Alex. "If you really did watch the whole conversation from beginning to end, then you would know that the Reapers wipe any trace of their genocide from the records before disappearing. That way the next cycle they harvest has no way of knowing of their existence."
"I'm still having trouble believing this as fact." said Sparatus.
"Sooner or later your just going to have to take what we say on faith, Councilor." said Jane.
"Try to see this from our perspective." reasoned Tevos. "Saren is a threat we can recognize. The Reapers, however, are a complete unknown. With no prior knowledge to go on other than what you've shown us our hands are tied."
"Our decisions affect trillions of lives. We cannot simply act swiftly without covering all possible forms of reasoning." added Valern.
Alex gritted his teeth, he all but shoved a good chunk of evidence about the Reapers down their throats and they're still trying to pass it off. "So you'll do nothing..." he said grimly.
"The Council cannot take any official action. That is why we created the Spectres. You both have the authority to act as you see fit." said Tevos.
"If you truly believe Sovereign is as big a threat as you have revealed to us. You must take whatever steps are necessary to stop it. And Saren as well." said Valern.
"Good luck, to the both of you." said Tevos as the line ended.
"I'm really starting to hate becoming a Spectre." Alex growled.
"We have the coördinates to the Conduit and a way to get there. The Council may brush aside the Reaper threat, but they can't ignore that we have Saren's next location." said Jane.
"You honestly think the Council will risk starting a war with the Terminus over our intel?" asked Alex skeptically. "Look at what they did with the last batch of good information we gave them. It's like they don't give a damn about what we show them as long we do our jobs."
"What are you saying?" asked Jane stepping up to him.
"I think going back to the Citadel is a bad idea." he said honestly. "I have a feeling that the moment we do the Council is going to fuck us over. I always trust my gut Jane. It's gotten me this far." of course his gut wasn't the only thing he was going off of.
The Commander stewed over it a moment, "Look, taking on Ilos alone would be suicidal. Especially with Saren's fleet being in the area. We'll need back up."
"I can understand that, but just think about it before you make that choice. They've stepped on our toes every step of the way, and now that it's coming to a head I think they're just waiting to spring the worst on us." Alex reasoned.
Jane sighed; "Alright, we're a team and I really do trust you Alex. I just hope that the Council wises up and helps us with this." she said before leaving the comm room.
Alex doubted whether he had swayed her away from wasting time going back to the Citadel. But he had to keep the pressure on to make it happen.
Consequences be damned, stopping Saren from reaching the Conduit was more important.
A/N: What do you all think? Will she be convinced? Or will she continue down the canon path? And on top of that will Kaidan live? All will be answered soon enough. The final battle is approaching, so things are going to start getting crazy real soon.
Update Coming Fast!