A/N: Thank you for the reviews on the tongue and cheek bit. It was a fun distraction.

Here is Part 2 of the Five Day Rule, looks like it's going to be 3 parts. If you're looking for happy, this isn't it. Writing about the five days Ana & Christian were apart between book 1 & 2, in Christian's POV, has been absolutely grueling. But we'll get back to happy soon, if this break up doesn't kill me first.

~~~~xxx~~~

The Five Day Rule- Part 2

Monday

I wake up feeling like shit. The nightmares are back and worse than ever. When I'm not dreaming of the crack whore and the pimp...I'm dreaming of Ana walking out on me. Her sadness and resolve to leave me etched in my mind. She's gone. I can't believe she's gone. Christ, when is this feeling going to go away?

I wonder if she's thinking of me too...when she left she didn't want anything that reminded her of me...wanted to erase me from her memory. I can't have that. I can't let her forget me. I don't know why...but I know I can't.

I drag myself out of bed begin my post-Ana work week. In such a short period of time, she made my days seem lighter. I guess because I had something...someone...to look forward to at the end of the day. I fucked that up...all I have now is an empty penthouse to come home to and memories of the possibility of more.

Fuck it...I have to snap out of this and move forward. Focus Grey.

I shower, shave, and head to the kitchen.

"Good Morning, Mr. Grey. What can I get for you this morning?"

"Just coffee, Gail." I grumble.

She looks disappointed.

"I baked some fresh blueberry muffins..." She gazes at me looking hopeful.

"Fine...thank you."

She places a blueberry muffin and a fruit salad in front of me. I look up at her.

"I thought you might like some fruit salad too." She gives me an encouraging smile. It seems Gail is in caretaker mode.

I must still look like shit if the staff still feels the need to babysit me. I just nod and eat my breakfast.

Before leaving the penthouse, I carefully grab the glider model. I need to have it with me. It's all I have left.

~~~xxx~~~

Taylor eyes the glider in my hand, but says nothing. He opens to door to the SUV for me and we're off to Grey House. I peek down at the glider model next to me then stare out the window, my mind drifting off to happier times. The more I think, the more these fucking...feelings...keep trying to bubble up the surface. It's annoying as fuck. I need to bury them. I have work to do and these distractions are royally pissing me the fuck off.

Ana's new job starts today. I wonder how she got to work. Surely she hasn't had time to purchase a new car. I know she hasn't cashed the check yet. Frustrating woman that she is, I wonder if she will. Is she as pained as I am? Probably not.

It won't take long before the fuckers in her office pounce on her. She's so beautiful. She'll have no problem moving on. The thought angers and depresses me. She wants to forget me and a new man in her life would help her do just that. I can't allow that. I won't allow it.

The SUV has stopped and we're at Grey House.

The ride went so fast...my mind is a million miles away.

~~~xxx~~~

The elevator doors open and we head over to my office. I'm holding the model close to my chest.

Andrea is seated at her desk. Olivia is twirling her hair, mooning over at me. I scowl at her and she retreats immediately.

"Andrea, hold all of my calls. I don't want to talk to anyone...unless Anastasia Steele calls. Put her call through. Get Flynn on the phone. Call Bastille, I want to see him this afternoon and get me the number of a florist," I growl.

"Do you want me to orders flowers, Mr. Grey?"

"No. I'll do it. Just get me the number."

I walk into my office and close the door. I gently place the model on my desk and sit and glide my hands over it. Fuck.

There's a knock on the door.

"Yes." I scowl.

Andrea walks in and hesitantly hands me a sticky note. She's looks at me in …I don't know… or concern or both but whatever the fuck it is, I wish she'd just stop.

"The number for the florist, Mr. Grey. I left a message for Dr. Flynn. Mr. Bastille can see you at 12:00".

"Good.."

"Very well. Would you like to go over your schedule for today? "

"Fine. Cancel all the crap for the rest of the week and bring me what's left for today."

"Very well." She leaves.

Now for the flowers. I need to let Ana know I'm thinking of her. She may not want anything that reminds her of me, but I will not allow that to happen. What the fuck to order? I don't do flowers. Roses are the norm, aren't they? That's what I'll order. Red roses are too cliché. I'll order white. White is pure, like Ana.

I call the florist and order two dozen white roses. I specifically had them scheduled for delivery in the evening, so she is home when they arrive.

"Would you like a message with the flowers?" The florists question catches me off guard. A message? All sorts of ideas pop into my mind... Please talk to me, I miss you. I'm sorry I hurt you. No, no. I glance over at the glider sitting on my desk.

"Err...Congratulations on your first day at work. I hope it went well. And thank you for the glider...That was very thoughtful. It has a pride of place on my desk. Christian."

I know it's not what I feel...but it's all I say.

My mind starts drifting...there's probably some fucker right now trying to work out how to get into Ana's panties. My teeth clench. Fuck! I have to stop this.

~~~xxx~~~

My workout with Bastille proved to be futile. I got my ass kicked to the ground over and over. I can't concentrate, my head just wasn't there.

I get back to the office and give Ros grief about the SIP purchase. She doesn't understand why I want it and why the rush. I know I sound like a sullen teenager with my indignant insistence...my way or the highway... but I don't need to explain myself to anyone. She just needs to make it happen and make it happen immediately. It's the ideal time for a take-over. I won't rest until I know it's a done deal.

I call Welch only to find out there's nothing new about Leila's whereabouts. Christ, where the fuck is she?

I spend the rest of the day barking at anyone who has the balls to make contact with me, sharing my misery. Fuck, when is this feeling going to stop?

~~~xxx~~~

I had Taylor drive me back to Escala before my session with Dr. Flynn. I want to drive myself. I'm tired of Taylor's looks of concern.

I arrive at Flynn's office. It's after his usual office hours.

I sit on the couch in his office. Ana should have received the flowers by now. I check my Blackberry, no emails or texts and no missed phone calls from her. Nothing. I stare down at the floor, dismayed.

"Something important you're waiting for Christian?" he asks.

"No, it's nothing," I lie.

"As you told me on the phone, the status of your relationship with Anastasia has changed?" Leave it to Flynn to cut to the chase.

"Yes, she's left me." Saying it out loud makes it real. The feeling of loss is unbearable.

"I see. How did you feel when she left?"

"Miserable."

"You miss her?"

"Yes," I answer truthfully. I miss her more than I could imagine was possible.

"Yet, you've never missed any of the submissives that left you?"

"No. I didn't care. And despite my hope that Ana would be my submissive...she never was...she was special."

"Was she special or your relationship with her special?"

"She was special…we were special."

"Because your relationship was more than just sexual gratification?"

"Yes." I swallow. We were going to be more.

I check my blackberry. Still nothing.

"Tell me what happened." He sits back with his notepad in his lap, he leans back in his chair, his fingers steepled in front of his mouth.

"I hit her with a belt, six times. She couldn't take it and left me." Her tearful face fresh in my mind.

"I thought you said you were going to take it slow with Anastasia. Slowly introduce her into your BDSM lifestyle, work up to the more extreme aspects of it."

"I was. Things just escalated quickly. She asked me to show her how bad it could be."

"And you accepted?" He looks surprised. He should know how fucked up I am.

"Yes, I think she thought if she allowed me to punish her, I could allow her to touch me, which of course I would never allow. And Elena had encouraged me to show her my needs and how I really am."

"Christian, as we discussed in the past, I'm not sure taking advice from your former Dominatrix is beneficial for you. But that's a conversation for another day…let's get back to your predicament today. So you hit her?"

"Yes, six times. She reacted so badly. She was so angry. I never saw her so hurt and angry. She never safe-worded. . Why didn't she safe word? I would have stopped immediately.

"Perhaps she was trying to be what she thought you wanted her to be. Did you enjoy punishing her?"

"Yes."

"Would you do it again?" he cocks his head to the side.

"No"

"Why not?"

"Because I hurt her. She didn't like it. She said she can't be what I need and I can give her what she wants and she left me.

"Are you sorry you hit her?"

"I'm not sure. I'm sorry that I hurt her, but it was going to come to this point someday. The needs I have would have to surface sometime."

"You're sorry that you hurt her because you…care for her?"

I sigh.

"Yes. She said she loved me," I barely whisper out.

"How did that make you feel?"

"Horrified. She can't possibly love me."

"Why can't she love you?"

"I'm not worthy of her love. No one could love me." I'm shit.

"Why do you feel you aren't worthy of her love?"

"Look at what I've done. I can't make her happy. I can't possibly give her what she deserves to have. I'm not capable of love. My heart was destroyed a long time ago. I don't have a heart."

"Christian, do you think you would miss her, feel miserable or care that you hurt her if you didn't have a heart? If you didn't have feelings, deep feelings for Anastasia?"

I shrug.

"Maybe it's better this way. A Clean break. I should just line up a new submissive. Let Ana move on with someone else." It hurts to say this, but maybe it's true.

"Is that what you really want, a new submissive?"

"I don't know."

"After experiencing sex with a deeper connection between you and your partner, do you really think you would be satisfied with mechanical sex, with no feelings?"

I shrug. Would I?

"It would be acceptable to you that Anastasia would be with another man?" Flynn raises an eyebrow.

Visions of that Mother Fucker Rodriguez trying to push his tongue down Ana's mouth and that hardware store fucker's hands all over her pop into my head.

"No. I'd kill the fucker who touches her," I growl

"Christian, it's simple. What do you want?"

"Ana. I want Ana" There lies my truth.

"As I thought. Then let's discuss your next step. You haven't taken it seriously in the past, but I really feel if you embrace Solution Focus Based Therapy, it can help you be where you want to be."

"Christ, not this SFBT shit again"

"I believe this can help you, if you just take it seriously. You can focus on solutions to where you want to be, rather than on problems. Figure out what to change and what will remain constant in your life to get you to where you wish to be."

"John, this is who I am. I can't change that"

"Enough with the self fulfilling prophecy rubbish, Christian. Your BDSM lifestyle is a choice, not a matter of fact. You can change and be where you want to be now. However, know this, you cannot change just for Anastasia, you must change for yourself in order to be in a loving relationship with her. Is that where you want to be?"

"Yes." I exhale.

"The results you achieve will be in proportion to the effort you put into this. I suggest you think about where you envision yourself with Anastasia, and how you can get there. I will be here to support you. This is a good step, Christian."

"The thing is John; she really enjoyed some of the kinkier things we did. I know it."

"Then there's a middle ground which you both can work from."

"What if I can't change?"

"Don't be fearful of change. Fear stops us from doing things. It's the things that you don't do that you'll regret."

"When she left, she was so cold towards me. I could already feel her tuning me out. I don't think she cares anymore. She left all means of communication behind. Said she didn't want anything that reminded her of me."

"That's self preservation Christian. If she loves you, as I believe she does, she hasn't tuned you out of her life. There's still time to fix this."

I glance back at my blackberry

"Waiting for something? You've been glancing at your blackberry all evening" Flynn doesn't miss a trick.

"I sent her flowers today; I was hoping I'd hear back from her."

"Give her time Christian. I know that's difficult for an impatient man like you, but give her time. Love isn't easily shut off. If it were, there'd be no broken hearts. "

"I don't know if I'm capable of change" I'm too fucked up.

"You are a remarkable young man. You have overcome amazing obstacles to be in the place you are now. You don't need to be stuck in a place you no longer wish to be. Be brave and move forward. Look, I think we covered enough for tonight. You have a lot to think about. I can not stress this enough…this is a good step, Christian. Think about where you envision yourself to be and together, and we'll figure out how to get you there."

"Ok. I'll think about it."

~~~xxx~~~

My mind is filled with so many thoughts.

I get in the R-8 and drive. My mind starts drifting….Do I want to change? Am I even capable of change? This is all I know. Would she allow me back into her life? Can I live without my needs? What do I have to offer her? I just don't know what the fuck to think

I find myself by Ana's place. I park at the corner of her street, hidden enough so she won't be able to see me and watch her building. I see a light on. She must be awake. I've never been to her new place. I wonder if that's her bedroom.

I check my blackberry. Nothing from her.

"Look out the window, Ana." I find myself willing her. I just want to see her, catch a quick glance. But she doesn't. After a while the light is turned off. The sinking feeling in my gut returns.

She's right...I am a stalker. I start the car and head back to Escala.

~~~xxx~~~

Mommy is balled in the corner of the floor. He is hitting her with his belt. I hate him. I hide under the table in the kitchen.

He lights a cigarette. "Where are you, you little shit?" He grabs me from under the table and hits me across my chest with the belt.

Ana is bent over the whipping bench. A belt hits her. "Six" she cries. "Goodbye Christian" she says as she disappears into the air.

A faceless man's arms are wrapped around Ana's waist. She's facing him. Her hand reaches and softly caresses his face. She smiles then reaches up, they passionately kiss. They turn and walk away, arm and arm

"No Ana,stop. Ana don't leave me"

She stops and faces me, slowly shaking her head back and forth "You need to sort your shit out Grey"

She turns back around and walks arm in arm with the faceless man. He playfully grabs her ass, she giggles and they kiss.

"No,Ana, Ana…don't go…" I scream but they continue laughing as they walk away.

I wake up drenched in sweat.