Author's Note: Fun story. So, the entire fic has been sitting on my computer since I started posting, and I keep on telling myself that I'm going to edit the chapters. But then I don't. I just don't think about it until it's been months later, and then I'm like, "Well, shit, I should post another chapter." So, this is totally unedited. I'm finally posting, though!

Chapter 23

Harry yanked out a shirt. He was going to go to the club tonight and enjoy himself. A huge part of him doubted this. Nothing held his interest for longer than a minute, and he had spent most of the day balled up, barely able to breathe. It was almost embarrassing how much he had cried, but Harry had set his face in stone for the past few hours. Of course, now Hermione and Ron thought it was good for him to go out with a few of his friends. Luna, Neville, Ginny, Rolf, even George – they were all going to be there.

"Fucking..." He buttoned up the pine green shirt and angrily pinned up the collar necklace. If they wanted Harry, they were going to get him. Of course, he was going to make sure they didn't enjoy it. No one seemed to understand that he just wanted to be left alone. His skinny jeans felt slightly uncomfortable, but he knew he could manage.

Next came the contacts. They slid in easily. Even months later he could do it after only a handful of tries. And then came the final touch. The Harry they saw was going to be nothing like the true Harry. He had never put eyeliner on before. After running through a few retries, he had done a decent job. When he saw himself in the mirror he smirked, trying out his new punk look. His hair even had some product in it. It was messy, but it almost stuck up artfully.

"Perfect." When he left, he made sure to exaggerate his walk. A deep part of his subconscious nagged at him, told him how low this was, attacking people who were only trying to help him, but a greater part took a sadistic pleasure in knowing how they would react. When he finally made it to the club, it was booming, and people all around him flailed about, attempting to dance. He had his hellos with everyone and then strolled up to the bar.

He had already downed three shots of extra-strong Firewhiskey when a voice from behind him made him jump. That Irish accent... "Sweet Merlin..."

"Hey, Seamus." Harry turned around and leaned forward, practicing his new smirk. Seamus' eyes widened, and he scanned Harry up and down, gulping nervously.

"You look different. And I see you tried on that choker I gave you. It's a – err – a good look." He barely seemed to be able to focus, and as he caught the eyeliner, he shifted back slightly. Something about Harry's new bad boy look clearly appealed to him. Harry grabbed his hand, feeling a rush of confidence as he felt how sweaty it was.

"Let's go dance," he said, stumbling slightly. He was far less elegant than he would've liked, but Seamus didn't seem to notice. This was it. He could get back at Draco, show him he didn't give a flying fuck what Draco thought. As Seamus weakly attempted to move to the rhythm, Harry went as well, grinding against Seamus. It didn't take long before a choked-back moan escaped Seamus' lips. Harry could feel him hard against him.

"Ha – Harry, you like Draco, though..." Seamus' voice sounded small. Harry turned around, and cocked an eyebrow, looking at him questioningly.

"Do I?"

"That's what – what everyone said." Seamus gasped as Harry's hand slipped down, cupping him. "Oh God." He thrust into Harry's hand, barely restraining a moan before pulling away. "Please, Harry. Don't do this to me."

"Do what?" Harry leaned forward, pressing their lips together. He rubbed against Seamus, and his hands moved up to Seamus's hair. It was course and completely unsatisfying. It didn't run through his fingers like Draco's did, but it would have to do. One hand slid down and he slowly popped open the buttons of Seamus' trousers. Seamus shivered under his touch, eager and impatient. It made Harry feel drunk with power to see how Seamus bent and submitted under his touch.

"Harry, what the hell, mate!" Ron was standing beside him in an instant, pulling them apart. Seamus looked like a mess already, his clothes dishevelled and the buttons of his pants undone.

"Back off," Harry growled. Seamus had trouble talking. He mumbled something incomprehensible and blushed. Yet Harry winked, eying the burgeoning bulge. Then his face transformed, and he shook Ron off, grabbing Seamus.

"Apparate. Your house. Now, Seamus!" Seamus moaned as Harry nipped at his ear and pulled out his wand. Harry saw his friends running at them and turned to Seamus to tell him to hurry up, when suddenly he felt the familiar feel of being squeezed through a thin tube. Seamus' apartment stood before them, and they tumbled to the door together. Seamus pulled the keys out of his pocket and reached around Harry, fumbling to get it open. "Just use magic," Harry said impatiently, grinding against Seamus

"It's charmed so that you need these keys to op – open..." He faltered and blinked rapidly. Harry backed off for a moment as Seamus unlocked the doors, and then they both went inside, the door slamming shut behind them. The moment it did, Harry had Seamus pressed up against the walls. His tongue darted out, exploring Seamus' mouth. It tasted heavily of alcohol and cinnamon. A part of a whimper broke through his lips as Harry pushed him forward again, and Seamus' head slammed against the walls. Yet it was quickly cut off as Harry's hand dove down Seamus' trousers. Seamus clutched onto Harry's shoulders for support and bit at his lips.

Groans broke through the air as Harry's lips broke from Seamus' and latched onto his neck, following the tendon. Harry pinched the head of his cock lightly, and he felt Seamus tighten under his touch. Seamus bucked into Harry's hand, desperate for friction. Smirking, Harry stroked back the foreskin, his lips moving down the Seamus' collarbone. When he pulled down Seamus' trousers and boxers, Harry kneeled down before him. Gently, he cupped his balls, egged on by Seamus' moans.

"Oh, fuck, Harry, I'm close." Dark blue eyes glanced down at him, and Harry shuddered, looking down. His mouth covered the tip and his tongue darted out, licking up from base to tip. Seamus' hands embedded themselves into Harry's hair, and he lightly pushed him forward. Harry's teeth nicked the head lightly and the other Gryffindor leaned back against the wall. Opening his mouth wide, Harry swallowed it down to the root, and the sounds above him became more and more strung together. A stream of curses was the one warning he got. Seamus shot down his throat, falling limp against the wall.

The bitter salty taste overwhelmed Harry's mouth, and he pulled back, licking a few stray drops off of the tip. A bit of him felt sick as he swallowed it, but then Seamus collapsed beside him, nuzzling against his shoulder. "You're fantastic," he muttered, sounding slightly out of his mind. His pants faded away. Harry was definitely going to be sick. He couldn't enjoy this, yet he knew what Seamus expected next. A mere blowjob wouldn't be enough, would it?

"Fuck me," Harry said, pulling Seamus close and kissing his lips with a bruising force. Seamus pulled back, looking concerned. "Harry, are you sure? Oh, God, I'm a terrible person. You just went through a break-up... I'm so selfish. I wasn't even paying attention." Before Seamus could continue babbling, Harry pulled his closer, shaking his head and lapping at the hollow of his throat, feeling the heartbeat.

"I want this. Please." Harry nudged his knee between Seamus' thighs and pushed down slightly. He gasped, and nodded. It was almost painfully easy to manipulate him. Manipulate – Harry gagged, but luckily Seamus was too busy leading him to the bedroom. The moment they were in the room, he collapsed on the bed, spreading out, staring hungrily at Seamus. He started to reach for his drawers, undoubtedly for lube, and Harry slowly undid his own jeans, sliding them down along with his boxers. He was reaching for the buttons of his shirt when Seamus stopped him.

"No, let me do it." Harry shivered as the course fingers brushed up against his skin, but Seamus must have mistaken it for a gesture of eagerness because his smirk became more defined. "I've dreamt about fucking you for years. Merlin, you're perfect. You're just..." He scanned Harry up and down before kissing him, much too gently for Harry's taste. Words like manipulation danced in front of his eyes again, but then again, so did words like betrayal. Harry thrust upward, moving in a gyrating motion against the other Gryffindor. Seamus moaned, and his tongue made a trail down Harry's chest.

"And you're wearing my choker." Seamus hooked a finger under it and yanked Harry forward. "You're mine." Seamus didn't seem to know what he was saying, and it was clear that the odd moment of sobriety had ended quickly. And besides, Seamus had drunk a decent amount of alcohol. Chances were he wouldn't be able to process what was happening anytime soon. "And eyeliner..." He stared into Harry's eyes hungrily.

Reaching for the lube, he stuck out his fingers, ready to slick them. "No!" Harry called out. Seamus looked at him questioningly.

"But Harry, it'll hurt if I don't stretch you out first..." He continued to move, and Harry stopped him.

"Just fuck me." He paused. "Or no." Seamus' face fell a little. "Tie me up first." The frown quickly turned into a look of delight and his eyes darkened.

"Who would've thought the infamous Harry Potter would have a kink like that?" The way he said it reminded Harry of Draco. He moaned, closing his eyes and imagining Draco above him. Draco would mutter some snide remark, unafraid of hurting him. Bold, as always... He opened his eyes and was almost disappointed to see Seamus instead. He fumbled about looking for his wand. When he finally grabbed it, he gave the same needy expression Draco had. "Incarerous." Harry felt himself yanked as his wrists were tied to the bedposts. He had been flipped back in the process, and his face pressed against the pillow.

"I can do anything to you," Seamus moaned, his nails raking down Harry's back. It wasn't enough to break the skin, but Harry still arched upward, groaning. It hurt, but it also felt good.

"Fuck me," he begged to Seamus. Seamus seemed only too willing to oblige. He slicked his cock, and Harry tensed as the head pushed at his hole. He could feel heat radiating from it. Seamus thrust in, and Harry barely stifled a cry. It hurt like hell. There was nothing good about it. He felt as if he was being torn in half, ripped from the inside out. His hands flexed as he desperately tried to claw against something, find some release. But they only ended up reaching his palm, and he dug into his own skin, amplifying the pain.

"Oh, God, so tight... Fuck." Seamus had fully sheathed himself and lay panting against Harry. He bit down suddenly on Harry's shoulder, and Harry cried out. He could feel his skin break, and Seamus lapped at the wound.

"I wish I gotten a chance to see you as a vampire," Seamus muttered in his ear. "It's quite a kink of mine." Harry barely suppressed a groan as Seamus began thrusting. There were tears streaming down his eyes. He instead gasped and pushed backwards against Seamus. Pain was good. He could barely think; everything was about feeling. Seamus shifted positions, hitting that spot inside of him, and Harry cried out, arching. "That's what I was aiming for..."

"Harder," Harry choked out. Seamus seemed to be taking his sweet time with it. Each thrust felt agonizingly slow. With a grunt, Seamus listened, and suddenly Harry felt an onslaught of pain and pleasure. His hips jerked as he struggled to keep up with Seamus. Seamus gripped Harry's shoulders, and his fingers curled around, digging into his skin.

"So close. Fuck, I don't know how much longer I can go, Harry," Seamus gasped. One hand slipped down from his shoulder and grabbed Harry's cock. He stroked in time with his thrusts. At one point he stopped, playing over the weeping tip. His hand moved back upward, and he held onto the base. Harry mewled. He had been so close. Seamus shuddered, coming with a moan. He pulled out, his other hand reaching for his wand.

"I want to see you come," he whispered, and Harry felt his bounds around his wrists drop. Harry flipped over and Seamus conjured a cock ring. It was almost painful. Every inch of him shuddered, ready for that release, yet nothing came. Instead, with a smirk, Seamus leaned down between Harry's legs, nipping at the skin on his thighs and moving upward. Harry cried out as Seamus took him whole. The back of his throat rubbed up against the tip of his cock, and Harry struggled, thrusting upward.

"Pleasepleaseplease..." Yet Seamus merely pulled back, slicking his fingers and nudging two of them in to the knuckle. With a small push, they slid in further, and he curled them, stroking Harry's prostate. Harry arched into the fingers, shutting his eyes and biting his lip. In his mind he saw Draco above him, scanning him up and down up an insatiable look on his face. The touch that moved to his cock was belonged to Draco.

"Come for me, Harry..." Seamus said. In his mind he heard the Slytherin's silky voice, and as the cock ring disappeared, his entire body lit on fire. The pressure inside him exploded, and he arched upward. Seamus' hand didn't stop moving, and he milked Harry until he was dry. The tingling across his skin slowly dissipated, and Harry lay panting. When he opened his eyes he was almost disappointed not to see Draco above him. "I love you," Seamus muttered, lost in a haze. He leaned forward, placing a light kiss on Harry's lips and collapsing beside him.

"Night," Harry muttered, closing his eyes. Seamus' reply was groggy, and Harry slowly slipped into unconsciousness.

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Harry's head hurt like hell when he woke up. The light that flooded the room hurt his eyes, and he stood up, closing the shades, groaning. As he was doing so, something hit him. These weren't his shades. Harry glanced around, yesterday's events flooding back to him. Harry barely pushed back a cough as he looked down at Seamus. Merlin, his throat was dry.

Oh, God, what had he done? Seamus looked so peaceful and happy simply lying there. Yet when he woke up, that happiness would go away. He had known Seamus had a little crush on him. He had used him. Harry felt sick. Ron's warning suddenly came to mind. He had been so determined to prove to them that he wasn't alright that he had messed up someone's life in the process. Well, maybe not their whole future, but at least the near one. Seamus cared about him. Harry couldn't do the same.

He had done exactly what Draco had done to him. He had let someone attached to him get close, and now he was going to throw him off. Harry began to hyperventilate. He couldn't be here when Seamus woke up. Snatching his clothes off of the ground, he began to get dressed. The thoughts in his head hurt, and it didn't help that the pounding made him feel like someone was trying to rip his head open.

"No, no, no..." Harry whispered to himself, feeling tears burn his eyes. As quickly as he could, he stumbled out of the room and out of the front door. It was barely after he had gotten off that he realised that he had left his wand inside. "Shit." Luckily the door was still unlocked. Slipping back inside, Harry tiptoed to the room. He had barely made it to the bedside stand and picked it up before Seamus spoke behind him.

"One night stand, huh?" Seamus asked, the betrayal in his voice seeping out. Harry jumped, turning around.

"I'm sorry. I don't – I didn't mean to..."

"Funny, because I remember you convincing me when I asked you. I shouldn't have let it get to me the way it did." Seamus blinked rapidly, his fists balling up around the sheets. "It really meant nothing to you, didn't it?"

"No it..." Had it meant anything to him, though? It had been nice – that much was true – but it had also just been... a fuck. "I'm sorry, Seamus."

"What I can't get is why me? Why not any other gay guy? You're out. It's not like you needed to hide it anymore." He looked at Harry, pleading for some sort of reasonable explanation.

"I don't know." There had to be some reasonable explanation, though. He hadn't been trying to hurt him. "I was piss drunk. I wasn't thinking."

"You knew enough. You knew that I liked you. It's not like I hid it. But I knew it was never going to happen. I had gotten over it. At least I thought I did..." His eyes caught onto a bite on Harry's neck, peeking out from under his shirt.

"Seamus, I'm sorry. I'll do anything to –"

"Out." Harry shook his head, tears leaking out of his eyes. How many times had he cried in the past twenty-four hours?

"I'm –"

"Out! Get out!" Seamus' voice broke as it rose in octaves. He threw a pillow at Harry and collapsed, sobbing into the sheets. "Go away!" Harry barely knew what to do. Seamus' voice was hoarse when he yelled. Yet he knew he couldn't stay here. Seamus began screeching, throwing curses at him. Harry ran out of the room, the front door slamming shut behind him. He Apparated to his flat, running inside and collapsing against the wall. He hurt all over. His heart felt like it had shattered into little glass pieces that had lodged into him. Gasping, he put his head into his hands and sobbed.

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Everyone was still angry at him. Ron and Hermione sometimes were short-tempered with him even. It had taken them long enough to get over what had happened with Seamus. And Seamus refused to read his letters of apology or speak to him face-to-face. Harry didn't know exactly what to do. He was falling apart. Kingsley wasn't even sure whether he should let him back to his job. He simply had to get over Draco. Harry had vowed to do that, but it was easier said than done. Every bit of him ached every time he saw a picture of Draco. Aiden and he were a hot couple, and magazines liked to cover them. All of them still asked why he had broken up with Harry. At least he had stopped answering the question.

Still, Harry was slowly getting better. It was getting close to a year since Draco had left Azkaban. Enough time had passed. It was hard to keep from picking at the scabs that had formed since, but Harry resisted. Still, the photographs sometimes were enough to let him bleed.

Luna, on the other hand, had forgiven him a while ago. He was hanging around with her a surprising amount. She always seemed to know exactly what was going on. There'd be moments where Harry could barely believe he was talking to Luna, but then she'd make a comment about a newly discovered, unknown creature, and all was cleared up. Then again, Luna had always helped him. She had been there for him after Sirius and at the end of the battle.

With her help he was getting better. He had survived so much death and despair. If he couldn't handle this, then something was wrong with him. Of course, he wasn't completely ready to put it behind him, but he was getting there.