Dean drank the liquor feeling it burn all the way down, he was half drunk he bitterly grabbed the other bottle, Maggie had gotten the boot but was not to tell anyone of what had happened and that she would stay in Katharine's territory that he would call for her later. He looked at the people years had gone pass by since he been pure human but nothing had changed. It was almost pathetic how similar it was. He smelled the air of arousal from horny men, smell of cheap perfume and sweat. Neither was appealing.

"Here alone?" Dean looked up seeing a lean man, did men suddenly know that he shared bed with a man suddenly? The young man was a bit older looking then him with black hair and grey eyes, he was lean and tall. He thought of blowing the guy off but then felt his lips quick up his voice almost mocking.

"Why don't we spare the formal shit and go to the bathroom and fuck?" the young man looked startled at him but then nodded in agreement. Soon Dean bend the guy over, it was not the best experience, he didn't care. He wanted to punish Nathanael, a guy walked out from one of the bathrooms looking at them hungry. "Wanna join in?" Dean asked dull drinking from the bottle allowing the man blow him while the other was kissing him pressing against him. He rolled his eyes, he let their scent print his skin before leaving the two men begging for more and leaving with two girls.

¤

"You're a foolish man." Katharine said as he walked into her manor reeking of sex, he smirked holding his bottle up in a greeting. Wolfs could get drunk but the buzz was often over quick so they had to keep drinking to keep the buzz.

"Cheer's." She gripped his arms seeing the blood that was there, the skin healing she sighed heavily dropping his hand in disgust as he burped drinking out from the bottle greedy.

"He's on his way." She announced.

"Fuck him." Dean drawled out drunkenly stumbling a little.

"I'm gonna go now I'll be back soon, please don't puke all over my things." She said high and mighty but looked at him in pity he swallowed down more bitterly.

&

Nathanael's upper lip twitched up growling furious as Dean smirked at him evil, "we're even." He said dark and bitter his eyes mocking him. Nathanael growled furious, gripping Dean's shirt shaking him violently. The thought of another other them him touching Dean made him mad. He could scent them all the male's the females his eyes flaring furious. The scent made him utterly mad utterly insane. He sniffed him deeply he would track them down and make them face a destiny worse then hell it self. "What have you done!" he roared angry gripping Dean's wrist showing the healing skin, Dean had cut of the mark of protection.

"Are you crazy?" he roared his eyes flaring dangerously, he was on a thin very thin edge from lashing out completely. He fought very hard for self control. The feral part itching to get out.

"I cut myself loose." Nathanael growled angry.

"Your mine!" he roared in madness, pressing Dean against the wall that looked at him in despite, his fist slammed hard into the wall making the thick wall get a big hole. Dean didn't even flinch or wince but stared straight into his eyes challenging him his jaw clenched.

"Not anymore." Something in Nathanael snapped he gripped Dean's arms hard almost crushing the arms shaking him violently.

"You'll always be mine."

"I'm not a property! I'm not your whore! I was your mate. But no more." Dean roared from the top of his lungs. Nathanael lashed out on everything that was around them, crashing stone statues kicking the wall in anger. Then gripped Dean again shaking him.

"Enough!" Katharine roared angry putting her slender arms between them separating them. "What's the meaning of this!" Katharine demanded.

"You invited him?!" Dean shouted angry pointing at Nathanael that growled at him. His shoulders drawn up his face drawn with lines with madness and anger, his nose drills flaring as his eyes.

"You had no right keeping him from me! I warned you!" he pointed straight at her as she walked up closer fearless.

"Right? Keeping? He's not a thing Nathanael!" she shouted angry, the others in her pack had been ordered to leave, everyone she wasn't a fool she knew it would come down to something like this.

"You chose him over me?" Nathanael shouted furious at Katharine that held her hand up to Caesar that stood there in the shadows watching them. Caesar would die defending Katharine he would go up against Nathanael himself. Now that was bravery.

"This is my home! I decide which guest I have. You have say yes but if my guest want to stay the night I won't refuse him. Want to stay Dean?" she looked straight at Dean fearless that said with a clear voice yes and she looked once again at Nathanael that narrowed down his eyes at her as if she put a control spell over Dean.

"You do not want me as an enemy." Dean felt a cold hand in his stomach. He promised himself never a war never wolf spilt ever again because of him.

"I will go..." Dean stuttered almost, feeling his heart slamming harder the fear creeping closer as the buzz left him. He had always loved Nathanael but he had promised himself never to be blind of Nathanael's strength after Tom and he never was, he did push every time but he knew when to stop. He wanted Nathanael to hurt not that anyone else would get hurt, he didn't want to be the reason for a friendship over thousand of years would be lost because of him.

"No. You want to stay you'll stay. Want me as an enemy Nathanael? Then so be it." Nathanael shook his head.

"You know what you will get yourself into..."

"Don't threaten her!" Dean growled. "It's her home! Your a wolf a strong wolf but nothing more your not a dictator. You are not..." in one fast move that neither him or Katharine saw coming, Nathanael gripped Dean's collar hard yanking him towards him his knee's buckling hanging by his collar.

"Shut up. We will deal with us later, get in the car." Nathanael growled furious, he would lock Dean in and never let him out Dean was his! His alone those who touched him would die, those who tried to stop him from taking him mate back would die, anyone that objected would die. It was simple as that.

"Hell no. The only way you'll drag me away is if I'm dead." Nathanael narrowed down his eyes. Nathanael shook his head, he was furious as hell the feral not completely showing, his mind kept screaming, Dean his mate, he was the alpha Dean the submissive one. His heart said careful you already destroyed much already. Tom. Remember when you used violence, you promised him. Nathanael let Dean go that almost dropped completely on the floor if it hadn't been for his quick reflexes that steadied his mate that was wide eyed.

Backing from Dean. "Come with me now."

"No" Dean said defiant. Dean was sure that his shattered heart would slam through his chest like a bad cartoon any second.

"Dean..." his name dragged out as in a warning. He wondered how his mate could keep himself from totally lashing out, it was quite impressing Nathanael had patience but this… he remembered Tom he had held back there to but now… he had slept with others now four of them their scent on his skin like a bad perfume.

"No is no Nathanael." Katharine said firmly "go." She demanded her finger pointing out the door, Dean would never again think badly of Katharine she was strong and brave who the hell could stand up to Nathanael like this other then her?

"This won't replay old sins." He told Katharine that just looked at him with narrowing eyes. "Dean." he said suddenly more softly he didn't want to do this in front of an audience but he had no choice he looked pleadingly at his mate, begging him to come with him.

"No, you promised." Dean almost whispered as if it was a secret. Nathanael closed his eyes in shame he did remember that promise in that shower that time. He had promised Dean to never hurt him, it was a promised doomed to happen but not like this.

"Please." Dean looked pained at Nathanael, flattering. The thing was he still loved Nathanael but it hurt, his heart hurt he wanted to roll up and cry like a baby but reminded himself that he was a man not that men couldn't cry cuz they could but not like this not so defeated without fighting. The question was he strong enough to fight now? He felt weak he had trusted blindly Nathanael he had taken it for granted perhaps. Trust was something he took seriously it had been so easy to trust Nathanael sometimes when he looked at him in a certain way. "Please Dean." He looked up in anguish at his mate rethinking it all perhaps he should go, but then the pain made it self reminded.

Nathanael saw Dean face, saw how he wanted to reach out for him so Nathanael made it easier he reached out his hand offering it. "Please" he repeated in a heart renching plea. Then Dean sniffed, and Dean stood put, Nathanael's eyes closed his eyes in pain. When he looked at Dean he saw rage and hurt.

"You fucked her. Fuck you." And he left and Nathanael felt heavy inside. Nathanael looked at Katharine that looked at him pained but turned her back at him leaving him alone in his misery. Feeling more shattered then the objects around him.

&

"You can stay in this room." He gestured Dean looked around sighing heave. "Does revenge feel good?" Caesar asked empty Dean turned to face him.

"What? I can't but he can?!" he almost lashed out wanting to break something so badly it itched under his skin he wanted to run, run from everything but it wasn't in his nature or at least I hadn't been in his nature. But so much had changed, he had changed so much.

"No. I'm asking you man to man does revenge feel good?" Dean's brow twitched his hands dropping to his sides, his chest heavy. He felt suddenly dull, used disgusted of what he done. He made himself cheap for a revenge that he should just had let go but he had been so furious so mad so blinded, so obsessed for hurting Nathanael that he didn't realize it would just hurt him more.

"No"

"Do you regret it?"

"No, cuz it hurts him more." Dean replied darkly.

"You think he will be punished?" asking it as if it was no big deal, his hand gesturing Dean narrowed down his eyes at Caesar.

"No."

"Really?" the voice almost disrespectful but a tone of amusement, Dean closed into Caesar like he was the prey he was about to kill. Caesar looked at him only bored not at all afraid of him.

"I'm no fool not completely anyway. We wolfs need him something like this... they wont care, and no one will know. It stays with us. Understand?" Caesar gestured with his hand as he was about to speak while looking out the big window.

"The death penalty of cheating on your mate hasn't always been there. It started 1200, the thing is when the mate dies, if the other mate still loves it dies to..." Caesar explained shaking his head sadly. "I'm not afraid of death... about three hundred years ago something happened."

"What?" Dean asked sitting down on the bed, the simplicity of breathing hurt him. He didn't want this he wanted to travel back in time change everything. But that wasn't possible.

"Some got away with it." Caesar replied looking down at his hands.

"Who?" Dean asked his brow wrinkling looking at Caesar waiting for answers perhaps even waiting for salvation.

"They were three, Nathanael, Katherine and Marcus. Marcus was strong, bestest friend with Nathanael and Katharine, well how best friend you could become with Nathanael anyhow." Dean nodded his head in agreement feeling a dull pain in his heart.

"Marcus had a mate for nearly two hundred years, Summer Bright Bird. Her father was a medicine man. He cheated on her... she stayed with him." Dean's brow twitched.

"So strong leaders get away with it?" he asked feeling suddenly pissed off.

"She didn't want him to get punished and others wolf couldn't smell it anyway. He cheated on her with..." Caesar looked away as in shame, Dean frown got deeper in his smooth forehead and stood up. Caesar turned to face him his eyes shining with tears, "with Katharine." He choked out.

"What?" it felt like all of his air got kicked out of him.

"It was long go... Point being she stayed she did her duty, however she never shared bed with him again. But stayed together to her death." Caesar looked at him, "we all make mistakes, no one is perfect." It was a fact he pointed out because he had seen how this boy had looked at Nathanael seeing him as perfect like flawless. But that wasn't the truth everyone was full of error if it wasn't visible physical then it was who you were.

"How did she die?" Dean asked ignoring the other part.

"She laid down and died, he soon followed." Caesar replied rather cold, once again turning to that mask to that cold statue Dean saw him as, it was like he never had shown himself vulnerable.

"You still share bed with her." Dean said in disbelief. He had no doubt, he seen Caesar, he was many things... but loyal was something Dean admire him for. No matter what, he was by Katharine's side in every single thing always backing her up.

"But she cheated on you." Dean argued in anger.

"I know, but I also know that I can't live without her." Dean looked away, "I'm not telling you to forgive him, I still haven't forgiven her and it's been over two hundred of years." Caesar spoke gently old hurt hear able in his tone.

"Why are you telling me this?" Caesar wasn't a man that flaunted feelings or opened up.

"So you can have a choice. You can either leave and leave the pack you've been loyal to. The pack that needs you, or you can stay be loyal to the pack not necessary ever share his bed ever again."

"What do you think...?"

"You know what I think. Stay. Be loyal to your kind, it hurts but what about them when you leave?" Dean looked away, "leave for awhile, gather strength then comeback and take your place, you have a bigger responsibility then I do, cuz its him." Dean closed his eyes keeping the

tears away.

"How can I be near him knowing what he did to me?" he asked, it was a hard question to ask to be this vulnerable in front of Caesar that saw him nothing but a brat.

"Be a man." Dean opened his eyes. Caesar gripped his arms shaking him hard, "be a man for once. Grow up. Open your eyes fool, your not using your position, your not being a leader. Whatever you say or think you are a leader now. I don't care if you were a follower as human but you will lead now or lay down and die." Caesar spoke harsh. Smacking Dean over the head hard. "Snap out of it." Dean looked at him in anguish. "You take care of your pack." he could almost hear the echo of his father's voice you take care of Sammy now.

Dean nodded his head in affirmative matter. "Good then its settled." The next day Dean left.

¤

Dean dried his tears angry with his sleeve looking out at the beautiful view, his feet daggling down. It was raining heavily the mud slippery. He sniffed angry at himself then closed his eyes breathing heavily, he stretched down on his back looking up at the sky resting his hands on his chest and stomach looking up at the black clouds. He could almost hear whispers from his brother, whispering you really gonna give up? "Yes" he replied hoarsely out the water spiting out his mouth. No your not. Dean squeezed his eyes shut as a reply whispering tired, "I'm tired." Sleep but live. "I... I'm tired." There was a silence. Your sure? "Yes." He replied without doubt. Then come. Dean relaxed his body, the mud digging into his skin, water pools on his flat stomach, he allowed himself to fall into darkness. Waiting for death that greeted him.

Nathanael dragged his feet after him they felt heavy, he felt heavy dead and hollow inside. He dropped down on his knees. He dragged Dean's heavy body up to his lap and his life shattered. He hollowed out in pain that broke thousands of hearts.

His eyes once light blue eyes turning black. There was suddenly blood on Nathanael's hands red blood, blood of wolfs and man, as he couldn't die or move on. He turned to an bitter man and bitter was the most underrated feeling it was one of the most dangerous it made you do horrible things turned to into a shadow of your former self. And Nathanael's side was pretty dark a darkness you wouldn't want to face.

Dean yanked his hands away from the bowl, hissing almost. He looked into the Gypsy that looked at him all knowingly. "I can't live forever." He almost growled angry holding in the urge to tear down the entire apartment.

"No. You can't." She agreed all knowingly and Dean wanted to shake her.

"Then when can I die?" he asked angry.

"Do you really desire death so?" Dean looked into her eyes, "your heart is broken your soul crying. Love hurts young man." Dean knocked her hand away as she reached for his chin his eyes red, his lower lip almost trembling as he spoke, shrugging as he spoke.

"What am I suppose to do? Huh? Go back?" he questioned.

"What do you think?" the voice calming like a mothers voice he growled at her he didn't want her to act like his mother. His mother was dead just like his entire blood family. Nathanael was his family… or use to be.

"I didn't come here for riddles!" he lashed out his arms swinging wildly, he ripped down her stupid lamp that crashed into a million pieces on the floor she jumped back startled.

"You came for answer you already knew in your heart." She replied almost angry pointing at him.

"Yeah well my heart is not sane!" Dean lashed out he turned away. "Tell me." He said suddenly calm but he was anything but calm.

"Ok young man..."

"I'm not a young man I'm older then you." Dean snapped.

"Your a young man, years may passed but you remain just a boy hardly a man." she almost snapped, "You'll not return to him yet. You will leave this place, you'll go home where you will sleep, ready to wake up again."

"That's it? I'm gonna be freaking Cinderella?!" Dean shook his head, "if i lay and die he'll go all evil why must it be my responsibility..."

"Cuz you love him fool. If its all you believe that he doesn't love you then why would he lose his mind?" Dean would go mad he stormed out the apartment seeing Maggie there pale looking.

"We're going."

"Ok."

don't worry it will be better soon