Wow! I have over 50 reviews now – THANK YOU SO MUCH! Your reviews really help me keep writing on bad days, so I really, really do appreciate them!

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In this one we find out Loki's age, so I thought I'd let you know how I've figured it out. I guessed that Thor and Loki as characters are around min-twenties in human years, so I pretty much just x100. It actually fits surprisingly well with the Thor timeline if you take it that their various life stages are in proportion to their overall lifespan – so they're a child for x100 as long! Sounds like ages to us, but that's because we're used to our lifespan. To a dog our lives and childhoods must seem impossibly long.

Oh and by the way, this story has just passed the 50,000 word count! (For just the story bit, not counting authors notes or chapter titles) This is now by far the longest piece of fiction I have ever written and I'm amazed how well I'm doing and how many people are enjoying it! Thank you!

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Chapter Fourteen:

A Desperate Need to be Loved

"Loki," Efa reprimanded him from her workbench, "Stay away from the filing cabinet."

Loki sighed and turned towards her, trying to look innocent as she paused from her work to watch him.

"I merely thought that if we are to be facing some sort of danger, as you believe, it would be most sensible for me to know all the variables. That way I shall be of most use in defending against it," Loki argued.

Efanna smirked slightly and Loki knew that she was unconvinced by his lie. Why did he have to be stuck with the one person who could see through him so easily?

"Would you like it if I showed the pictures of your life to anyone else?" she questioned him archly. She didn't need to wait for a response, Loki's face expressed everything that needed to be said.

"Exactly," she continued, "I shall protect your privacy as long as you allow me to protect theirs."

"But what of Thor?" Loki countered smoothly, "We grew up together, there is nothing your pictures could show of him that I do not already know."

Efa gave him a look that quite clearly said 'bullshit'.

"In that case you have no need to see the pictures then, do you?" she replied sweetly, "Look, I've already given you anything which pertains to you, and shown you anything that I think might have something to do with whatever seems to be … approaching. You're not getting anything else. Now get back over here and sit down before I am forced to initiate the Second Great Paint War of the Welsh Valleys; and believe me, you're going to get your arse handed to you again if I do."

Loki sighed and gave in. He had never fully expected her to let him see the other pictures anyway.

"I still maintain that you have an unfair advantage in that you are always covered in paint," he protested, crossing the room and sinking into a chair.

The last time he had attempted to annoy her for too long whilst she was working she had retaliated by flicking paint at him. Things had quickly escalated from there until they were both what she had deemed 'walking works of art'. She'd even insisted on taking several pictures.

"I'm not always covered in paint," she contended, "Today it's ink instead."

Loki rolled his eyes at her but dropped the subject, watching her in silence instead. Today she had moved on from the large canvases and was working on several ink sketches of the tree at the top of her land during the changing seasons. Her rough colour work had now dried and she was adding in the detail in black ink with a fine, scratchy nib. It was somehow calming to watch her like this; she became so entirely absorbed in her work that she seemed able to shut everything else out. She radiated a sort of peace and contentment that Loki could only dream of.

Of course there was also the reason that her Visions did indeed seem to be increasing in their frequency that drew Loki to her extended company. It was obvious to him that they were starting to worry her and yet she would not tell him of them unless he interrogated her ceaselessly from the instant she awoke from them. From the vague hints he had managed to prise from her, he gathered that whatever she was Seeing would have significant consequences for them both and he wanted to know as much about it as possible, especially seeing as he was stuck in this useless mortal form.

As he watched her draw, the loose woollen jumper she wore slipped down one arm, exposing her bare shoulder and the large purple bruise that blossomed there, mute evidence of her most recent Vision and corresponding collapse. She had assured him it would disappear within a day or so, but it still surprised Loki just how much her Visions were capable of hurting her. To see such visible signs of the fragility of her body could not help but cause Loki's mind to wander to his own bruises, gained from their fight a couple of days previously. Any wounds Efanna had suffered from their bout had now disappeared, but the sharp crack of her skull hitting the coffee table continued to echo around Loki's mind. It disturbed him in a way he could not describe, and he knew that it was more than just the reminder of his own pitiful mortality in this state.

It was perhaps these thoughts that drove his next actions. After Efa had finished her picture they headed back towards the cottage. They had not even reached the barn door before she froze and then slowly toppled forwards. Without thinking, Loki stepped forwards and caught the redheaded girl in his arms before she hit the ground.

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Tony Stark stands in the courtyard, suited up but with his face plate raised. He turns to Loki, who's arms are folded against his bare chest.

"Is she always like this?" he enquires of the Asgardian.

"You get used to it," Loki replies dryly, with a long look at Efanna.

The Vision faded and Efanna waited for the pain to bloom in her head. The concrete floor of her workshop was never a good one to fall against. Maybe she should just invest in crash mats.

When it didn't come however, she blinked open her eyes in confusion, only to be met by the green of Loki's as he stared down at her. At this point, Efa realised that her back was not resting against cold concrete but two surprisingly warm arms.

"Loki, you caught me?" she asked in astonishment.

"It appears that way," he responded. His expression confused her, he looked mildly surprised, but thoughtful.

Slowly he lifted her up until she was back on her feet again. When she didn't move he took a step back, still watching her with that slightly perplexed gaze.

"Even though you might have touched me?" Efa asked, knowing her own expression went well beyond slightly perplexed, "Even though that would have given away the last of your privacy?"

Loki's brow creased slightly as he considered her. Efanna realised her mouth was hanging open and closed it.

"You would have hurt yourself, should you have fallen," he explained finally, sounding as though his words were addressed to himself as much as they were her.

"And you actually care about that?" Efanna asked breathlessly.

As she waited for his answer her stomach seemed to have disappeared and her heart felt like it was in her throat. He'd told her he didn't hate her, but could he really, actually care? As the silence continued and Loki's harsh rebuttal failed to come a sickeningly strong wave of hope rushed through Efa's body.

"Do you?" she whispered, stepping forward, "Do you actually care if I get hurt?"

The confusion on Loki's face was growing.

"Why does that mean so much to you?" he asked her, his voice low.

"Because… After Mam… What with my Visions…" Efa started, faltering at the intensity of his gaze and feeling suddenly, completely and horribly vulnerable, "I only ever hoped that I might be able to persuade you all not to hate me. I have intruded so vilely into your lives… After all that… How could you not?"

She looked up at him and she could feel the warmth of tears start to sting her eyes.

"I never thought anyone but Mam would ever be able to care about me," she whispered, "I always told myself that no one ever would. I had her love and that was enough. I told myself it didn't matter, that I didn't need anyone else, because, after all, I'd never have anyone anyway… But…"

Her throat closed up and her voice failed her. But I didn't realise how much I want to be loved, she finished in her head, begging with her eyes for Loki to understand.

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Loki could only watch her in shock. She had crumpled before him, had almost appeared to shrink before his eyes. He had never seen anyone look so vulnerable before. In this moment he had watched as every one of her defences seemed to have crumbled and she now stood before him, hugging her arms tightly as if trying to hold herself together. All because she wanted him to care.

He suddenly realised that in this moment he could destroy her. With just one word he could wrench out her heart and shatter it. He had the power over her, the control that when they had first met he had decided he would peruse. Only he hadn't. He hadn't aimed to gain such power. He hadn't tried to charm her, to seduce her, to make her need him more than anything else. He had simply been himself. More himself than he had been in years. Lying and insulting and imperious and mischievous. And yet the hope that he might actually care about her was causing her to break apart.

Was this how she saw him? A creature so pathetically desperate? A being so dependent on others that a single word could destroy everything they were? "No, Loki." Odin's last words to him echoed around his head. Was that what he was? A creature who had so craved another's approval that they had let it ruin them? How could so pitiful an existence be worth anything at all?

And yet she saw worth in him. She stood by him where all others ran. In this moment he had more power over her than he had ever dreamed of. But could he really destroy her the way Odin had destroyed him? Could he really ruin the only being that claimed to love him?

If someone had told him he would face this dilemma, and over a mortal at that, he would have been insulted. Was he truly so weak as to let sentiment guide his actions? Yet somehow, seeing Efanna like this… Seeing a creature so desperate for the tiniest sign of his affection when she had given to him so selflessly…

Loki could not bring himself to break the heart that lay so defenceless before him.

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As the silence stretched on, Efanna cursed herself for allowing such thoughts. She had known that no one but her mother was ever going to love her. She had known that even just gaining the forgiveness of those she had Seen would be an achievement that would most likely take her life to earn. She had known it would be foolish to want any more than for them not to hate her, that it would only end in her getting hurt. Why had she gone against all that? Why had she been stupid enough to let herself hope?

Something seemed to change behind Loki's eyes as he watched her and her emotions surged once again. She wished he would just say something. Tell her not to be so ludicrous. That he was Loki, of course he didn't care. She didn't think even such a denial could be more painful than this dreadful hope.

Efa had just about convinced herself that such a denial was coming, and so when Loki actually responded she was fairly sure her mouth dropped open again in shock.

"For some reason – do not ask me why," he began, slowly, "… I do not wish to see you harmed."

"… Really?" Efanna asked.

Loki gave her a disapproving stare.

"Sorry…" she apologised, "I'm just still having a hard time believing that you don't hate me, this was kinda unexpected…"

"And yet you wonder why I find it difficult to accept that you love me?" he asked with a wry smile.

"Huh, fair point I guess," Efa mused, fiddling with her jumper and trying to fill the slightly awkward void in the conversation caused by Loki's admission.

"… You wanna go get lunch?"

"I believe that was the plan before this little interlude," he agreed.

"What was your Vision of, by the way?" he asked as they walked across the courtyard.

"Oh, yeah, I'd almost forgotten about that… Stark," Efa answered, knowing that he wouldn't question her further if she said it was about anyone other than him. She was stubborn about that. Somehow she didn't think it would be sensible to mention that he and Stark were going to meet sometime in the near future at this particular moment. Mind you, she wasn't sure if telling Loki that would ever be a sensible thing to do.

Lunch was a quiet affair, the two of them watching the other, too absorbed in emotional turmoil to really talk. Efanna felt like there was a little bubble of happiness growing inside her, after all – someone actually cared about her! But after a while she began to feel slightly intimidated by the intensity of Loki's gaze, the memory of just how exposed she had felt still very fresh in her mind. Loki wasn't acting at all like she was used to, and whilst she thought that was probably a good thing, it did mean that she was finding it harder to tell what was going on behind his green eyes.

"What are you thinking?" she asked eventually, once they had finished clearing the table, curiosity and insecurity pushing her to break the silence. Loki stared at her for a long while and Efanna began to think he wasn't going to answer so she busied herself putting the crockery away instead.

"What would happen if you touched me?" he asked suddenly.

"Um, I'd get a sudden influx of your Memories," she answered, slightly taken aback by the question, "Mostly images or sensations. Like your body is trying to tell me everything that's happened to it. Physical things mostly, it's not quite the same as what you would define as memories, but I can't think of another way to explain it. Your History maybe? Seeing as you're quite old I'd imagine there would be quite a bit, so it'd probably shut everything else out for a while, and seeing as your life had been fairly… shall we say traumatic? I'd imagine it would be pretty strong, so I might kinda slump a bit or something. I'm not sure. It's different for everything I touch, and well, even if I was used to touching people you're a rather special case anyway."

She trailed off as Loki took her ramble in, his expression thoughtful.

"… Why?" she asked, confused by his sudden interest.

As if in answer he held his hand out towards her. Efanna held her hands behind her back, not wanting to force her touch upon him as she wasn't wearing her gloves. Then her brow furrowed. Was he asking her to…?

"What…?" she began to ask, not sure exactly what was going on.

"I doubt there is much left that I could keep private," Loki explained, "You know everything about me anyway. It's a nuisance having to be so careful around you."

"You're really letting me touch you?" she asked, not quite believing it.

"Do you want to?"

Loki's brows were knit together but his hand remained steady in front of him. Efanna stared at it, letting what he was offering sink in. To touch another person. To be touched. Properly. That was something she hadn't had since she was a child. Although Seeing Loki's past like that wouldn't be pleasant she couldn't deny that she craved physical contact. Since Loki had lived here she had truly realised how lonely it was to live your life without ever being touched.

"Are you sure?" she asked, breathlessly. He was giving away his last bit of secrecy. Was he really willing to do such a thing for her?

Loki seemed to hesitate for a moment, but kept his hand steady. Then he nodded. Slowly Efanna reached out her own hand. She noticed it was shaking.

o

The second before her hand touched his, Loki almost jerked it away. This was the only thing left he could hide from her. If she touched him she really would know everything. Could he really give so much power to another? But, as he reminded himself, there was so little that she didn't already know, and she had not used any of that to her advantage. If there was anyone he could trust with such knowledge, it was Efanna. His brow furrowed slightly at that. Of all the beings in the universe, the first one he had ever trusted was a human.

These thoughts were erased when she gently took his hand. The instant their skin touched her eyes fluttered closed and she slumped towards him. He stepped forward so that she collapsed against his chest, keeping her steady with his free hand. The one he had offered her was still grasped between her thin fingers with a surprisingly strong hold. His skin seemed to tingle slightly against hers.

She stayed like this for a few moments – maybe seconds, perhaps a minute – although it could have been years to Loki's mind. Eventually she stirred groggily, rubbing her head slightly against his shoulder and letting out a light groan. Then she pulled back from him, steadying herself with his arm as she swayed.

"Wow…" she mumbled, her words slightly slurred, "That was … intense."

She screwed her eyes up and shook her head, as though trying to dislodge water from her ears. Loki was reminded of someone who'd just woken up from a night of intense drinking with a severe hangover. Her hand still tightly grasped his and Loki seemed far too aware of the fact. Efa shook her head again and spread her feet as through steadying herself, before opening her eyes and looking up at him.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah, that was just… wow, that was way more than I was expecting," she said, finally letting go of his hand and flexing her fingers, "You've had one hell of a life, Loki."

"What did you See?" he asked, his voice guarded.

"Lots," she answered, sounding rather awed, "Mostly just flashes, I couldn't really take anything in properly, there was just so much of it! How old are you?" she added suddenly, tilting her head to one side.

Loki considered the question, doing a few sums in his head and trying to remember the differences between Midgardian and Asgardian time.

"I would think, roughly, somewhere between twenty-four and twenty-five of your Midgardian centuries," he answered finally. Efanna's eyebrows rose.

"Seriously? Almost two and a half thousand years old?" she exclaimed, "Wow, Loki, you're ancient!"

Loki raised one eyebrow and chuckled slightly at her expression, not quite sure if he should be amused by her statement or offended. Efanna merely grinned at him.

"I've got nothing wrong with ancient," she told him cheerfully, seeming to regain her usual energy. Loki allowed her a small smile which instantly set her face to beaming.

Then suddenly, without any warning or perceivable provocation, she quite literally threw herself at him. She covered the space between them with a leap and ended up clinging to him with all four limbs and her head burrowed in his shoulder. The force, and unexpected nature of it, was enough to make Loki stagger slightly and he stood awkwardly with his arms splayed to the sides to maintain his balance as she hugged him tightly.

"Thank you, Loki," she whispered and he felt the words tickle his neck.

"Uh, Efanna, what exactly are you doing?" he questioned, trying to turn his head so that he could see her and still having no idea what to do with his arms. Seeing as Efanna's legs were currently wrapped around his waist he couldn't even just drop them by his sides.

"Hugging you!" she answered with aplomb, giving him another squeeze. She lifted her head up and leant back slightly so she could look him in the eye.

"You can't tell me that you haven't craved physical contact either," she said, her tone more sombre. Gently she detached one arm from around his shoulders and placed it on his cheek, her bare skin against his.

"I know how lonely life is without being touched. And I know you do too."

A small tremor seemed to run through Loki's body at her touch and at her words. How long had it been since someone had reached out to him in kindness? Since the feel of another's skin on his had been for any other reason than to inflict pain? Suddenly he felt a strange warmth deep within his chest and when Efa gave him one of her gentle smiles and returned her head to the crook of his neck he found that his arms slowly wrapped around her back. Efa sighed slightly and snuggled into him further.

"I never thought anyone would hug me again," she mumbled, her words vibrating against his skin, "Especially not you. I'm glad I was wrong."

Loki didn't know what to say so he simply stood there, holding this bewildering girl as she clung to him as though to save her life. After a couple of minutes she complained of getting leg cramp and slowly released her vice-like grip around his middle, wiggling her legs in midair as she realised she couldn't reach the floor. She leant back from his chest again, supported this time by his hands around her back and looked around.

"You really are tall," she commented, sounding slightly astonished, "How on Earth do you not bang your head on the beams?"

Loki couldn't help but smirk at her as he slowly lowered her to the floor.

"I am often forced to duck," he responded sardonically, "Your dwelling needs higher ceilings."

"You're just too tall," she replied with a grin, "It's not a problem for anyone else."

"Then I maintain that everyone else is too short."

Efanna poked her tongue out at him and then reached up on her toes to plant a small kiss just beneath his cheekbone. When she pulled back and saw his expression she grinned impishly.

"Thank you, Loki," she said then, her white eyes earnest, "Just… Thank you."

Then she turned and left the room, pulling her boots on and crossing the yard back to her workshop, leaving Loki standing in the kitchen. His cheek somehow burned where she had kissed him and his mind was in turmoil.

Okay, just to let you know that Efa's going off to do her drawing thing to sort out Loki's Memories here, in case you were thinking she'd taken it all a bit too well. I couldn't figure out how to gracefully write that in so I thought I'd tell you here. I figured that she'd be more concerned about hugging someone properly for the first time in 10 years than sorting his memories out right away, and to be honest, after that she probably needed a hug!

So, as always, let me know what you think and I'll get writing the next one!

Oh, and by the way, there is a fully plot justified reason why Loki isn't wearing a shirt in Efa's Vision. It's not just that Loki is gorgeous I promise! (although he is)