**** djvikinglover and reading all night , this one's for you cause your reviews are eloquent, thoughtful and they light the proverbial fire under my ass (that's numb from this uncomfortable chair, btw) to get this story out. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 41

Bill Compton Is A Low Down, Dirty, Rotten, Shitty Excuse For A Vampire and Not Worth The Three Days It Took To Make Him. Now, Ask Me How I Really Feel.

Pam's POV

"You two were supposed to be here an hour ago. Although I'm sure I know why you're late. You look like the cat that ate the telepath, Eric." The viking didn't even have the decency to look remotely sorry. We'd see if his confidence held when I had my face buried between Sookie's legs.

Eric's office was full tonight, the weretiger took up more than his fair share of floorspace.

"We were delayed with some unfinished business at home. Sorry Pam." At least Sookie seemed somewhat remorseful.

"Fine. Now, lets do a quick recap of tonight's events." I told them everything, even all the instances of sexual harassment I had endured from Bill Compton. These made Eric especially livid, a gesture that might of warmed my heart if I'd had one.

"How could you keep this from me? The nerve of that insufferable kräkas upp hund!" Eric was so pissed he was spitting as he raged. Quinn looked lost so I leaned over and translated.

"He just called Bill a vomiting dog."

"Thanks, babe. I appreciate it." I was taken aback when he sniffed me before leaning back in his seat.

"If he were here right now I would...." Sookie, god love her, decided to end Eric's tirade.

"Eric, baby, I think we all get that you're pissed and it's mighty sweet, but shouldn't we let Pam tell us what she found out?" She patted his arm and he sat down on the chair beside her. I was amused to see how his hand found hers. How special.

"Proceed, Pam." Sookie reached up and wiped the spittle off of his chin as she looked at him adoringly. Now I felt ill.

"So anyway, right now Bill is in the custody of the Fellowship of the Sun after I made a phone call. End of story as far as that goes."

"Oh, no no no! Babe, you have to tell them the whole phone call. It was priceless! She missed her calling, I swear. I think I pissed myself from laughing!" Damn weretiger and his loose lips,

"Pam? Care to elaborate?" Eric wouldn't miss this chance to give me shit. I shook my head furiously, fuck that shit.

"Oh hell, she did this high pitched nasally voice with this po-dunk white trash twang. I swear, I thought I would die! And here's Bill on the ground, sizzling like a piece of bacon where the silver touched him, roped like a calf and hissing and she's going on about how he must be a fag vampire since he was eating a guy!" Quinn was near hysterics, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Pam, do the voice!"

"No." I nodded towards Sookie who looked more than a little distraught. Eric caught sight of her face and was instantly kneeling in front of her.

"Alskarinna, what trouble's you?"

"I feel sad for Bill. I know I should be happy that he won't be able to cause us anymore grief but I feel horrible about what they will do to him. I feel like it's all my fault." A tear slid from her eye and left a glistening trail down her cheek.

"After all the pain he has caused you, you still have compassion for this man. Hjärtan av en ängel. (The heart of an angel)"

"Well, there really isn't anything to be done about it now." Sookie wiped her face and straightened her back as she steeled her resolve. "He really brought this upon himself and while I feel sorry for the suffering that's headed his way, I can't let this have any power over me any more. Bill Compton has affected my life for the last time."

Sookie Stackhouse was one hell of a human. I couldn't wait to see what she would be like as a vampire.

"So, Pam, tell us what you have learned."

"Bill Compton is an even bigger weasel than we thought. He had plans to detonate explosives inside the Queens Court whether the trial went in his favor or not. His whole spiel about meeting the sun if he lost Sookie to you was bullshit. He's been working for the King of Arkansas, who supplied him with the ways and means to blow us all to kingdom come. I can tell you that right now, there are enough explosives inside the Court to leave a crater twenty city blocks wide and probably just as deep."

"But why would the King of Arkansas want the Queen dead?" Sookie was pretty much clueless about that whole cluster fuck of a situation.

"The King has agreed to wed Sophie-Ann. It's strictly a marriage of convenience, as he likes the cock and she likes to eat at the Y. Neither one of them can actually stand the other but they both would LOVE to get their hands on what the other controls. The only way to do that? Marriage." I thought my assessment was pretty concise. Eric rolled his eyes.

"So, the only real way for him to gain total control of Louisiana would be to kill her, really finally kill her. But wouldn't they actually have to be married?" Check out the telepath, wearing the thinking cap.

"They have signed a marriage contract, so by vampire law, they are already wed. All that is left is the ridiculous pageantry that follows. My tribunal would be the pre-reception entertainment." I could see the wheels turning in Eric's head.

"So what are you thinking that we can do to get me released from servitude and Eric back onto Queen cuntbag's Christmas Card list?" That Quinn sure had a way with words. I found myself growing fonder of him and wondering how much heat he was packing and if it had stripes.

"For you, tiger, I say we inform the Queen that you are the one who first suspected something untoward was going on after you overheard some seedy discussions between Bill and someone whom you suspected was working for the King. As Bill was living in Eric's jurisdiction, you called him as the Sheriff of Area 5 to let him know of the situation. Eric then sent me to interrogate Bill and I found the ins and outs of his plot with the king by drinking from him. We were interrupted by some Fellowship of The Sun Fanatics at Bills home which is conveniently close to the cemetery where Quinn and I left him. I escaped but Bill was not so lucky. So Eric then rushes to the Queen with his suspicions which will be proven right when I take Quinn to all the exact locations that the explosives are hidden. Quinn will ensure his release when he so bravely disarms and removes the bombs, Eric is a hero because his quick thinking and loyalty saved the Queen from certain death and having to stay married to that asshat of a King. The King will be found guilty of the plot to murder the Queen and staked with no delay, and no effort will be made to save Bill from The Fellowship due to his traitorous activities. Everything is super fucking smurfy, end of story." I sat back and smiled. Take that, bitches.

Quinn let out a long whistle. "Fuckin' A, Pam. That's some mighty fine plotting and manipulation right there. I think there should be temples devoted to worshiping your bad ass."

I looked to Eric, sure that he would find some flaw in my plan. His pride wouldn't allow him to do anything but. He opened his mouth several times to say something but closed it again. His eyes were blank. Ha. Ha. Ha. The he spoke and fucked me up.

"I couldn't be more proud of you." Seven words that had been a long time coming. I wasn't sure that I had actually heard them until I noticed Sookie's mouth agape with astonishment like I'm sure mine was as well. I felt a flutter of some unknown emotion inside of me. I didn't like it at all. Too real, time to exit.

I excused myself so I could go check my make-up. Eric and Quinn were already ass deep in planning the specifics of my outlined plan. I couldn't help but smile once my back was turned to them and I was walking towards the employee's restroom. I had powdered the graveyard dirt smear off of my nose and was busily applying lipstick when Sookie came in and closed the door behind her. I felt a twitch in my thong when I heard the distinct click of the lock.

"Can I help you, Sookie?"

"I think we can help each other." I liked the sound of that.

"And just what do you have in mind, Sookie?"

"I know about your arrangement and I have a pretty good idea about what you expect as payment. I have to tell you that my ass is most definitely ready to write that check. But I think that we need to teach our Viking a lesson about honesty. He seems to think that I believed him when he said that he didn't know what you wanted in return for taking care of Bill."

"I'm all ears."

If I could have ever called a human a friend, it would've had to have been Sookie Stackhouse. She was so deliciously devious, and she wasn't even a vampire yet. I couldn't wait to hang out with this chick once she had her own fangs.

And so in that short amount of stolen time in the ladies room, we hatched a plan to show Eric Northman that honesty is the best policy when dealing with women who were infinitely more wily and fiendish than a man could ever be.