A/N: Thank you again for your reviews. It's truly appreciated and I love reading them.
I own nothing.
The Talk
We've been summoned to Sunday dinner at Grace and Carrick's home. Christian tried without success to finagle his way out of it, but when Grace sets her mind to something, even Christian heeds to her orders. Of course he grumbled and groaned the entire car ride to Bellevue. It's not that he doesn't want to see his parents and the rest of our family; he just doesn't want to see them today.
Well, that's a moot point, because here we are. The older children got a free pass. For as much as Grace enjoys seeing all of her grandchildren, she remembers what it's like to be a teenager on a weekend and she lets it slide. Christian complains that when they were teenagers, they never had the option of bowing out of family or social obligations, often bored to death at some dinner party his parents gave.
But that's the difference between being a mother and a grandmother, grandmas let everything slide. It's a whole different set of rules.
When we walk into the house, we're greeted with hugs from Grace. It still warms my heart, after all these years, to see Grace's face light up when Christian gives her a proper hug. To this day, I don't think she believed that it would ever happen. One thing I can say about Grace, she never stops appreciating special moments in her life. It's a lesson I hope I never forget.
Mia and Ethan are already here talking to Carrick. We make the rounds and say our hellos.
"Mia, where are the kids?"
"In the family room watching a video, drawing on walls and probably screaming at each other...who the hell knows"
"Sounds like you need a break"
"You have no idea. I'm going to start pulling the hair out of my head if I don't get some adult time."
"Why don't you drop them off with us sometime? You and Ethan can take a weekend to yourselves"
"Really Ana? That would be great. My brother won't mind? You know how much of a ruckus our little munchkins can make"
"Christian loves the kids. It will be fine"
Christian does love Mia's children, but he hates the noise that accompanies them. This is going to take some convincing. He's most agreeable after sex, so that's when I'll bring this up.
Elliot and Kate arrive late. They look annoyed with each other again. Christian has told me to mind my business when I expressed my concerns about them. They've seemed off to me for some time, sometimes hot, sometimes cold, but never balanced. Kate hasn't said anything. And according to Christian, Elliot hasn't either. Maybe it's my imagination.
We get our hellos over with and Grace directs everyone to the dinner table.
The men sit and the women go to the kitchen to bring out dinner. How does that always happen? How sexist is that? Honestly, it's probably better this way; those men don't know the difference between a ladle and a teaspoon. Who knows what they'd bring out for dinner? Besides, being in the sanctity of the kitchen, allows us girls to talk about the men when they aren't in earshot.
"Ana, Kate…Mia and I will bring out these dishes. Would you mind taking the roasted brussel sprouts out of the oven and put them in a serving dish and bring them to the table with the loaves of bread on the counter?"
"Sure Grace" Kate says.
Kate takes the roasting pan out of the oven and places it on the stove top. I grab a serving dish. Kate begins to spoon the brussel sprouts into the dish, when one falls to the floor and rolls away.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck" she growls. Her expression is twisted; but I know her outburst has nothing to do with that little green vegetable rolling on the floor.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I ask.
"Talk about what, a fucking brussel sprout?"
"Kate, you know what I'm talking about" Kate is more than my best friend and sister in law; she is the sister I never had. Her pain is my pain.
She sighs. She knows I know something is wrong.
"Elliot and I are going through some stuff right now, that's all"
"What kind of stuff?" Please don't say he's cheating on you. Please don't say he's cheating on you.
"He's not cheating on me, if that's what you're thinking"
"That thought never crossed my mind" I lie.
"It's been building up for some time. I'm tired of Elliot's relaxed attitude in every single aspect of our lives and he's tired of my complaining about it."
"I'm sorry Kate. Are you fighting a lot?"
"Enough" She pauses, I can tell she debating how much she wants to say. "We've started seeing a marriage counselor"
"I see. Well, that can be a good thing, right? It shows that you both want to work out your differences."
"I don't know what I want anymore. I love him, I do. And I know he loves me. Sometimes I feel like I don't want to live with him anymore but I know I don't want to live without him either. It's like we're stuck. The counseling is helping. We'll figure it out. "
"I'm so sorry Kate. You know I love you both and I believe you belong together, but no matter what I will always be here for you."
"I know Steele Thank you. Look, everyone is going to wonder what happened to us. We better go."
This is Kate's way of saying she doesn't want to talk about it anymore.
"Ok. Maybe we can have lunch sometime this week. We can talk more…if you want"
"Yeah, that would be nice"
We take our places at the table. Christian places his hand on my knee and squeezes it. I love when he does little things like that; small gestures that let me know he's happy I'm here by his side.
Elliot and Kate are seated directly across from us. I can feel the chill in the air surrounding them. Their body language speaks volumes; they both look so unhappy and definitely out of sync. Elliot, who usually looks so relaxed, looks…stiff. And Kate just looks angry. For their sakes, I hope their issues are just a bump and not a mountain to climb.
Mia and Ethan's three children come into the dining room and stop by Grace.
"Grandma, can we take our dinner into the TV room? We're watching a movie" Billy asks.
I swear these kids are freaking brilliant. Billy is so shy and soft spoken; you will do anything for him, just to make him smile. They knew exactly who Grandma wouldn't turn down.
"Of course, Darling" She pats his head and right on cue, he smiles.
Ok, ok. It warmed my heart too.
Elliot, Christian and Mia have annoyed looks on their faces.
"We were never allowed to eat in front of the television" Elliot complains.
"Your mother must have been a horrible tyrant" Grace sarcastically responds.
"I can't believe you are allowing them to eat in there." Christian grumbles.
"Grandma's house, Grandma's Rules." Grace smirks.
And that's that. End of conversation. There is no overruling Grandma.
Our dinner conversation flows. We're catching up on each other children's busy lives…science fair projects, dance recitals, karate classes, soccer practice, new boyfriends, and driver's education. I don't remember having half as many activities when I was a kid.
"Elliot can you pass me the…" Carrick asks, looking frustrated while pointing at the tray with the sliced roasted chicken.
"The chicken, Dad?"
"Yes, please"
Elliot hands him the serving tray. Carrick places it down next to him.
"Dad, Elliot and I were thinking of going out to Cabo for a long weekend to do some Marlin fishing. Are you interested in joining us?" Christian asks.
"Cabo?" Carrick furrows his brows.
"Mexico, Dad. Sheesh, you've been there probably two dozen times. How much wine are you drinking?" Mia jokes.
"Of course. Of course. How would we get there?"
"Ah, my jet Dad. Like always." Christian answers.
"Hey old man, lay off the sauce already." Elliot jokes.
Grace reaches over and holds Carrick's hand, giving him a small smile.
"I think it's time Darling" Grace says to Carrick.
"Yes, I suppose it is" Carrick sighs as he squeezes her hand.
"Everyone, we have some…news to share" Grace announces.
"Are you finally taking our advice and slowing down? Enjoy a month of sunshine in Florida with your friends?" Mia asks.
"Mom, you're not going to announce that you're pregnant, are you?" Oh Elliot!
Everyone laughs, except Grace and Carrick.
"No Darling." Grace stands up from her chair and walks behind Carrick seated in front of her.
"Well, out with it already?" My always impatient husband demands.
Carrick clears his throat and straightens his posture on the chair, looking very much like the Patriarch of the Grey family.
"I've been diagnosed with Alzheimer's."
A dead silence fills the room.
My eyes scan across the table. Mia's eyes are closed tight; Ethan has his arm wrapped snugly around her. Kate reaches her hand across the table and squeezes Elliot's hand, keeping hold of it. He rests his head on her shoulder, blankly stares out into space. She lightly kisses his head. I look over to my side. Christian has his arms crossed, his face is expressionless. Nothing. I know my husband and this is the best poker face I've ever seen him wear. I place my hand on his back and run it up and down.
"No. No, they're wrong" Mia cries.
"Mia…" Grace reaches her hand toward Mia. Mia yanks her hand away before Grace could reach it.
"No. So you forget a few things? You're just getting older " She shakes her head, as her bottom lip quivers and a few tears fall down her cheek.
"Mia, denying it isn't going to make it go away" Carrick softly answers.
"Are you certain, Dad? Maybe you should get another opinion" Elliot says.
"I have son. We've been to the best doctors Seattle has to offer."
"Then go somewhere else. " Elliot says. I don't think I've ever seen him look so serious.
"No son. I don't need to travel from doctor to doctor to hear what I already know. This is not curable. It is what it is."
"Oh Daddy" Mia hops out of her chair darts over to Carrick, hugging him.
"It's going to be alright Darling" He wraps his arms around her and gently pats her back.
Christian snaps himself out wherever his mind wandered off to.
"We'll need to get extra help for you around the house. I'll make sure you have a driver on standby twenty-four/seven. We'll have a nurse come to the house daily. "
This is how Christian deals with crisis in his life. He reverts back into his CEO mode, all business.
"Thank you Christian, but we don't need all of that. Not yet anyway." Grace unsuccessfully attempts to give us a reassuring smile. "I have explained to your father that this is not just his disease, that it's a family disease. We will be here to support him. We are in the early stages now and we will make adjustments in our lives as needed. For now, we want to live as normal as possible. We just wanted you to understand why your father may…forget a word…or seem a bit confused. We don't know what lies ahead for us, but we'll face it together."
"I'd like to deal with some practicalities" Carrick adds. Mia breaks their hug, but continues to hold his hand.
"Practicalities?" Mia asks.
"Yes. There are things we need to have in order. I want them in place now, while I have the ability to address some legal issues. I've taken steps to prepare a durable power of attorney, authorizing you to make choices and decisions on behalf of me when I am mentally incapacitated to make my own decisions"
Mia gasps and holds her hand to her mouth.
"Dad…" Christian says.
Carrick holds up his hand, motioning him to stop.
"These are things, however unpleasant, that need to be said. I have established separate powers of attorney for finance and for health care. Your mother will handle health care issues and the three of you are to handle all finance issues and secondary agents for healthcare decisions if your mother is not able. Your mother didn't want to deal with both issues. Speaking of healthcare, I have told this to your mother, but I want you all to know…this is my decision. I have expressed to your mother that if and when the time comes, I do not want continuation of life support. This is my decision. Please respect it.
This is a long road. And we're just at the beginning. I'm not so much worried about myself." He pauses as his voice cracks, tears pool in his eyes. He looks lovingly at Grace. She smiles at him and squeezes his hand. "I just need to know that you'll support your mother. "
"Of course Dad" Elliot says softly.
"I want you all to know that I love each one of you and I plan to tell you that every time I see you, until I'm no longer able to. I want to apologize in advance if I get moody and frustrated; as I read is a possibility for patients with my diagnosis. The rest we'll figure out as we go. The only thing that matters to me is that your mother is taken care of. That's all I ask of you." Carrick wipes tears from his eyes.
"We promise Grace will have all the support she needs" I assure him.
"Good, now where's dessert?" Carrick says. The respect I have for this brave man, who loves his wife so much, that he puts her well-being above his, has tripled. Theirs is a true love story.
Christian is deceiving quiet. I know how that brain of his works. His wheels are turning. He just needs time to absorb this new information, we all do.
The car ride home was quiet, even the radio stayed off. Christian didn't have much to say, which didn't surprise me, considering the devastating news about Carrick.
We silently walk into the kitchen and Phoebe is standing by the counter, pouring herself a glass of iced tea.
"Hi guys, how was Grandma and Grandpa's?" She chirps.
"You would know if you didn't put your fucking friends before your fucking family" Christian growls.
Poor Phoebe looks stunned at his unprovoked verbal attack.
"Christian, stop it. Was that necessary?" I scold.
He rubs the nape of his neck, the look of anger bubbling to the surface.
"I'm going to my fucking study" He growls and leaves with a scowl on his face.
"Mom?" Phoebe looks at me, wide eyed.
"It's ok Phoebe. You didn't do anything wrong. Your father is just upset about something. It has nothing to do with you. Just do yourself a favor and stay out of his way until he calms down."
"Maybe I'll stay at the Taylor's house" she jokes. She knows the best defense against one of Christian's moods is to avoid him at all costs.
"Maybe I'll join you" I smirk. Oh, if it were only that easy.
After about an hour, it's time to face the music. I walk up to Christian's study and slowly open the door; the tension in the air is so thick. He's sitting at his desk, his laptop in front of him.
"Are you alright?" I cautiously ask.
"Fine" he snaps.
"What are you doing?"
"Researching treatment options and clinical trials for Alzheimer's patients"
He's already researching...there's nothing wrong with being pro-active. It's probably helping him feel like he has some control over this sad situation we find ourselves in.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"What more can I possibly say? I think everything was said at the dinner table"
"Well, how do you feel about your Dad's prognosis?"
"How do I feel? How the fuck do you think I feel about watching my father slowly fade away from us "
"I'm sorry. I know this is difficult"
"Difficult? It's like a slow fucking death sentence we all get to witness"
"They said he was in the early stages. It may be years before…well, before things get to that point. Maybe you should try focusing on the positive, make the best of the time he's with us, both mentally and physically."
"Positive? What the fuck is positive about this situation Ana? What? Enlighten me." He barks.
"Christian, he's here now. Time is a precious gift. Take advantage of the fact that you still have time with your father"
"You think this is a fucking gift? We get to watch a man lose himself …where the gift there, Ana? You don't have to watch your father leave you while he's still breathing right in front of you. Lose his ability to communicate, to take care of his hygiene, fucking dress himself, or walk. It'll be a slow death. He'll be gone, even while he's alive."
"No, I don't get any of those things. My dad is dead. Ray was snatched away from me without warning. Do you know what I'd give to have Ray sitting in a wheel chair in front of me, even if he didn't know me, just so I could hold his hand? I wouldn't care if he thought I was a nurse or a stranger...I wouldn't care, because I would know I'm his daughter. And knowing the alternative, I think I'll take him in front of me."
"It's not the same."
"No, it's not. You have time, you have warning. You can make new memories. Enjoy the time he's with us. Don't squander this opportunity away focusing on your anger. It's not going to change anything. You'll regret the time you lost. Christian, please…I know what I speak of."
"You don't know shit, Ana" he scowls.
"How could you say that to me?" My mouth gapes open. He might as well kick me in the stomach. I try to fight it, but the tears fall down my cheek.
"Christ, now you're going to start with the fucking waterworks?"
"Go fuck yourself Christian" I shout.
I turn and leave, slamming the door to his study behind me. I know he's upset about his father, but I refuse to be his punching bag.
I wake up at three am, to find myself alone in our bed. Christian is either pulling an all nighter in his study or he fell asleep there. For as much as I'm angry with him, I know that he's dealing with devastating news and he's reacting the way he always reacts…by lashing out at whatever or whoever is in front of him.
I don't know what's worse, watching your dad slowly slip away, or the way Ray went. I suppose there isn't a right answer, both ways are heartbreaking. And I understand he's upset about Carrick, I am too, but I'm here to comfort him, not for him to abuse while he works out his anger.
Against my better judgment, I get out of bed to check on him.
The house is dark and I can hear the piano, a sad melancholy song softly playing in the distance. I walk over to the great room. The moonlight is beaming through the window, giving me just enough light to see Christian lost in the music.
I lean on the wall to the entrance of the room and watch him. He looks so sad and lost. Even though I'm angry at the things he said to me, seeing him like this breaks my heart.
I'm about to walk over to him and sit with him on the piano bench, when he suddenly stops playing. He rubs his hands over his eyes and leans his elbows onto the keys in front of him, with his hands still in place, covering his face.
Then I witness something, I've never seen. With his face still covered by his hands, his shoulder hunch and his body starts heaving. Oh My God, I think he's crying.
I want to rush over to him, to comfort him, to soothe him…but I know this is a private time. Time Christian needs to work out his grief.
I quietly leave the entrance way and head back to our bedroom. I slip back into bed, lying on my side and stare blankly at the wall.
About a half hour later, I hear Christian enter our bedroom. I close my eyes and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I feel the bed shift and know that he's sitting on the edge of the bed. I'm facing away from him.
"Why do you stay married to a fuck up like me?" he mumbles in my direction. I remain quiet. He undresses and slides into bed, rolling next to me. He brings his lips to my ear.
"I'm sorry baby. I'm so sorry." He whispers and lightly kisses my hair. He turns over to go to sleep.
I wake up the next morning reaching my hand over to Christian's side, only to find I'm alone. Funny…I usually hear his alarm clock go off before he gets out of bed.
After showering and dressing for a fresh new work day, I walk down to the kitchen. Gail is there, cleaning up some breakfast dishes.
"Christian already ate?"
"Yes, He had a quick bite and already left for the office. He said he'll call you later."
Is he trying to avoid me? Is it because he's mad at me or mad at himself?
"Ok. Err…Gail…how was his mood this morning?"
"Quiet. He didn't say much at all"
"Ok. Thanks."
I arrive at my office, only to find a vase of white roses on my desk.
This is Christian's apology. I know what's to follow.
I turn on my computer and check the emails. There it is…an email from Christian.
From: Christian Grey
Subject: I'm sorry
Date: March 8, 2032 7:25 AM
To: Anastasia Grey
I crossed the line. I lashed out at the one person trying to comfort me.
I'm an ass…it's the way I'm wired.
I don't deserve you or your forgiveness, but I'm a selfish man and I'm asking for both anyway.
I love you.
Christian Grey
Insensitive CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc
From: Anastasia Grey
Subject: Things you deserve
Date: March 8, 2032 9:10 AM
To: Christian Grey
A swift kick in the arse for speaking to me the way you did…and my undying love, because it's the way I'm wired.
Anastasia Grey
Married to an insensitive CEO, Grey Publishing
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Uncross our wires
Date: March 8, 2032 9:13 AM
To: Anastasia Grey
Can we meet for lunch? I'd like to properly grovel to my wife.
I have 12:00 photo shoot at my office for Time magazine. I gave them ten minutes. Then I'm free.
Christian Grey
Ain't to proud to beg CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc
From: Anastasia Grey
Subject: Don't be too proud to plead either
Date: March 8, 2032 9:16 AM
To: Christian Grey
Fine. I'll come to GEH.
12:15. See you then.
Anastasia Grey
CEO who likes a man on his knees, Grey Publishing
From: Christian Grey
Subject: I don't...
Date: March 8, 3032 9:19 AM
To: Anastasia Grey
Deserve you.
Christian Grey
Desperately in love with his wife CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc
From: Anastasia Grey
Subject: Don't you...
Date: March 8, 2032 9:21 AM
To: Christian Grey
Forget it, Mr. Grey
Anastasia Grey
Equally in love with her husband CEO, Grey Publishing
From: Christian Grey
Subject: Forget?
Date: March 8, 3032 9:23 AM
To: Anastasia Grey
Never!
Until Laters.
Christian Grey
Getting out the knee pads for proper begging CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc
Its noon and Luke and I enter the GEH elevator with two young girls. They push the button for the tenth floor. The elevator begins ascending and the chatty nonsense starts…
"Did you see Mr. Grey today? He was wearing that navy suit he looks so hot in"
"I've been trying to figure a reason to go to the top floor and bump into him."
They both giggle. Well, screw that.
The last time I was stuck in an elevator with two gossiping bitches, admiring my husband, I kept my mouth shut. I've had a crappy two days and I'm not in the mood for nice.
My lips curl into a sly smile and I wink at Luke. He smiles and nods back. He gets my message loud and clear.
I clear my throat.
"Ah, Mr. Sawyer. Which floor is my husband working on today?"
"The top floor, Mrs. Grey. I'm sorry, I must have forgot to press the elevator button to Mr. Grey's floor" He reaches over and presses the top floor button.
The bitches go pale. The look of panic on their faces has made my year. I've never seen two people run out of an elevator as fast as those two trash talking trollops did.
When the doors close, just Luke and I are left in the elevator. We both look at each other and burst out laughing. Hey bitches…don't mess with the property of Mrs. Grey. He may be an insensitive ass, but he's my insensitive ass.
The elevator opens and I greet Andrea. She tells me Christian has been scowling all morning over the photos he has to take for an article about GEH. She said Christian instructed her that if I got there early, just to go into his office. I lightly knock on the door and let myself in to his office. Christian is standing, with his arms crossed, while the photographer is snapping away and his assistant is adjusting the lighting.
Our eyes lock and I'm instantly brought back to the photo session at the Heathman. Christian's face lights up when he sees me and I smile back at him. I wonder if the photographer and his assistant can see the electricity charging between us.
We have our moments, our ups and our downs. But because we love each other, I know we'll always find our way.
Reviews are appreciated.