A/N: I'm sooo bored! Who else is bored? How 'bout we entertain ourselves with a wee chapter? Excellent! See ya below!

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters or anything else here. I'm writing purely for shits and giggle purposes. Please don't sue.

One last thing, big shout out too my totally awesome Beta, slcurwin, for putting up with me. She laughs and all the right places and makes me feel so smart. Thanks! Also lets not forget my growing number of helpful interpreters, 94larkla for the Swedish and my Scottish sweetie Senga! And no I didn't name the character after her but it is a happy co-ink-ee-dink.

Chapter 22

"Appius! Your MAKER did that to you?! You were nearly ashes when we found you! I swear to GOD Eric, if I ever come face to face with that…."

"Lover please calm down, you're upsetting yourself and the children. Please, sit back down." Sookie had jumped up at the mention of the old Roman's name and was furiously pacing back and forth. She looked at Hunter and Sarah who had been silently taking in the entire conversation rather well until her outburst. She could feel the love and calm Eric was practically shoving through the bond at her. So she took a deep breath and resumed her seat next to Eric, allowing him to comfort her with his presence.

After taking a moment more to reassure and calm Sookie, Eric detailed as much of the previous evening as he could recall.

He had been bored following Sophie-Ann around on her quest for sympathy and support during her upcoming trial. When Jennifer Cater had confronted his queen he began feeling a sense of dread. Adele's sudden warning about the arrow gave him just enough time to move before it hit its target. He immediately began hunting for the assassin. Eric followed the trail through the workings of the hotel's lower levels and into the large service kitchen. Whomever it was, had been clever to lead him through the aromatic environment that helped mask the killer's scent.

Frustrated with the noise and general chaos of a working kitchen, Eric sought out the room's back exit, which was the only place to really go with a 1000 year old vamp on your tail. In hindsight, he blames the many distractions of the busy area for his lack of awareness when he stepped into the back ally. His sensitive ears were still ringing from the din when he was struck suddenly in the head from behind. The head injury, as severe as it was, did not fully incapacitate him. He was about to call Pam when a voice he'd not heard for a century, but was all too familiar with, rung through the air and rendered him helpless.

"I command you to be still." The head wound had already begun healing slowly when a pair of hands gripped him from behind. Appius' voice rang out again but this time he was not addressing Eric. "Drink now." Eric felt teeth ripping into his throat, the lack of fangs was evident but didn't seem to matter. The ferocity with which he was ripped into proved two things. His attacker was a defanged vampire, a punishment most receive by feeding from something they shouldn't. It also told Eric, his maker had brought over another and was using Eric's blood to sustain him for some reason. Why else would the last sensation he remembered, be Appius' repetitive stroking of his hair. While his vision and hearing faded he heard, "It is unfortunate I must sacrifice my first to save my last."

"That is the last I remember until Sookie and Pam found me. I'm not sure how long I was in that alley but just before you both appeared, there was another vampire there. I don't believe she had anything to do with Appius or his demon child. She looked more like she was cleaning up their mess. She took a second body from the alleyway and told me you were on the way. It's strange she sounded familiar somehow."

The AP snorted, "She should, you two have met before."

As if on cue the door to the suite opened and in walked Pam, followed by a striking redheaded woman. She seemed very familiar but it wasn't until she opened her mouth that Eric made the connection.

"The spoilt wee queen is gettin' restless. She's actually demanding the Telepath's attendance. That little bitch gives us 'reds' a bad name an' aye wid love tae give 'er a bottle o' peroxide. Blonde fits her personality better en'way." She looked briefly at Sookie and Eric and grinned. "Na offense tae blonds, maybe she be better off bald. It could work."

Eric had to blink to make sure he was seeing correctly. "Agnes? Vid Asgård... du har gått och blitt en riktig skönhet, hadhe dock icke förväntat mig någonting annat av 'The Spitfire of Obar Dheatori'. Vad förde dig till dessa trakter? Var det du igårkväll?"

("Agnes? By the Gods…..You grew into your beauty, not that I expected any less from 'The Spitfire of Obar Dheathain'. How did you come to be here? Was that you last night?")

"It's Senga, I changed it after me mum died. You know how I hated the name Agnes." Sookie noticed a look between the AP and the new arrival that could have been considered nothing less than a 'stink eye'. "A will shut my trap for now though there will be time tae reacquaint afterward. Milady, the trials will begin soon, we must prepare for the night."

While the AP made her way to a door leading off the main room, she said, "North Man, I must speak with you and your mate for a moment alone." As Sookie and Eric followed her into a side room, Pam escorted Adele, the children, Lafayette and the guards to the booth downstairs until the queen's trial began. Senga disappeared through another door in the suite to change for the evenings events.

_xoxoxoxo_

The scheduled events of the night were already in full swing by the time Adele and the children made their way downstairs flanked by their entourage. The Grand Ballroom at the Gizeh had been set up to accommodate the ball that would start at midnight. The trials that were taking place during the summit were already underway in two of the smaller ballrooms at the other end of the floor. Many of the minor disputes, those that could not be settled by a monarch, including ones involving other states or concerning other supes, had been held the night before and were finishing up before the major trials began that evening.

Several of the witches in attendance, got together during the day before the conference began and preformed dampening spells around the perimeter of each space being used for the events. This provided some privacy for those during the proceedings considering the ultra sensitive nature of most supernaturals (especially vampires) hearing. The plaintiffs came before a panel of notable vampires (sheriffs or other elected officials) to state their case. Most came without representation but then most did not truly require it. Lawyers in vampire disputes were usually reserved for major disagreements or for those parties that were completely unfamiliar with vampire law.

Due to Bill's status as Area Five's Investigator, he had been selected to sit on the panel of a few of the actions presented early that evening. This prevented him from manning his booth for the first part of the night. He had tried to find Pam to cover for him but only managed to locate Bubba. This was not ideal. He liked the simpletons company well enough but he did not have confidence that Bubba could handle his busy booth; unfortunately he didn't have a choice. He'd done very well the night before managing to sell more than half the stock he brought with him and feeling confident that tonight he could sell the rest. Not to mention all the orders he had gotten for the extra software package he'd developed to complement the program. He was a little miffed the night before when Adele's stall was inundated with customers' less than ten minutes after they opened the doors for the night's business. Yet, when he realized how many customers he was gaining just from the overflow he quickly changed his tune. He had also been upset when he realized Pam and Sookie had both left the conference in search of Eric. He knew that pompous ass could take care of himself and their disappearance was no doubt an excuse to shirk the responsibility they all owed to their Queen.

He was currently listening to an argument between two vampires named Jodi and Michael. The other panelist included a fellow investigator for Area Three in Missouri, Jackson, and a petite vampire named Dahlia. Bill wasn't sure what her position was but he knew she was formidable. The complaint he was currently mediating over was about a broken tooth. The vampire that brought up the charges, Michael, was pissed that the other, Jodi, had broken it in retaliation to his feeding from a human. He was very dismissive about the torture he'd inflicted upon the unfortunate human that had caught his attention and the incident leading up to his broken fang. Once he spoke of his side of things, Jodi clarified the events by explaining the human was the sister of one of her employees and under her protection. After several unwanted advances, and warnings, Michael approached the woman as she was leaving work one night. When she publicly refused him, he kidnapped her and nearly killed her with his 'sex games'.

"He's out of control and he has no respect for our laws! If he continues this way the humans will begin to hunt all of us," Jodi was emphatic with her statement.

"Well, I believe this is a simple enough case." Dahlia addressed the two males on either side of her. "Do we all agree?"

Bill nodded his agreement, as did Jackson. Dahlia made a small gesture and continued with judgment. "Michael, by your own admission, you have ignored our laws and we feel that your actions, if they are allowed to continue, will bring about retribution for our kind. We rule in favor of Jodi." As Dahlia spoke, two large vampire enforcers appeared on either side of Michael to secure him in place while Jodi delivered justice.

As Jodi provided the final blow that ended Michael, despite his protests, Bill noticed Adele and the children being quietly led to seats near the front of the room by Pam. The children were dressed nicely as if they expected to attend a party, as was Adele. This confused Bill because he was under the impression that the ball was strictly for the vampires and other supes in attendance. The only humans expected to be there were donors (or so he thought).

He also noticed that Sookie was not with them, which was curious but perhaps she was with the queen. Sure enough, a few minutes later as the staff was cleaning the mess formally known as Michael and setting the stage for the queen's trial, Sookie walked in the room with Sophie-Ann, Sigebert, Rasul (a guard for the queen, whom had come up separately from their party) and the rest of the Louisiana delegation. The Arkansas delegation or at least what was left of them, entered a few moments later and took up positions on the opposite side of the middle isle. Eric was nowhere to be seen.

Bill took his place in a chair behind and to the left of Sookie, who was sitting between Rasul and her guard Biff or Buck, well something of that nature. Bill never paid enough attention to the colossal oaf to care. The children and Adele were sitting next to another guard several seats away from his at the end of the row. Bill had always wondered why Eric felt the need to have his humans under constant guard. Once he learned of Sookie's telepathy (from Hadley of course) it had been obvious but the children and Adele were of no consequence. None of them showed signs of telepathy and didn't have the same sweet smell that Sookie possessed, so in Bill's (and most other vampire's mind) they had no more value than that of a meal. The only thing that Bill could think of was the emotional ties Sookie had to them that warranted the extra security. If that was the case however, it meant the Viking was going soft by giving in to the emotional needs of his human pet. This was further substantiated by the obvious condition Sookie was currently in. He was dumbstruck when he learned the Viking had allowed her to carry a child. Despite the method of insemination, the entire idea was unbelievable to Bill. He'd been a father in his human years and still held a deep longing and ache at the loss of his children but the vampire world was no place for the defenseless. Bill had heard many of the other members of their community comment that the Viking was raising his own stock. He'd never been one to keep pets in the past but perhaps now he was attempting to gain more telepathic pets through breeding. It was an ingenious plan if it was true but Bill didn't think so. There was more to the situation but he just wasn't sure as to what.

The counsel for Sophie-Ann's trial calmly made their way onto the stage. Bill recognized all of them immediately. The Kings of Wisconsin and Missouri he'd seen the night before, the King of Kentucky was a pretentious ass who was so paranoid he'd hired Britlingens for his private security. The Queens of Iowa and Alabama arranged themselves in-between the men in a boy-girl boy-girl configuration with Kentucky in the middle seat. Seeing as he was the master-at-arms for the session, the seating arrangements made sense.

The Were-tiger John Quinn, largely known only by his last name, arrived on the stage next carrying a long staff with ornate carvings covering it from top to bottom. The infamous pit-fighter was now working for the Supe branch of the EEE (Extremely Elegant Events). He coordinated most of the procedures involving the supernatural community. So it was not much of a surprise to Bill when he saw Quinn bring the staff on stage and hand it to Isaiah.

The Ancient Pythoness was last to make her entrance. She sat in a throne in the middle of the stage with the lawyer's lecterns on either side facing her. The 'jury of her peers' were on stage right with a delicate looking Sophie-Anne ascending stage left. She took a place in the dock reserved for the accused. Kentucky stood center stage and banged the staff twice. Silence swept the court room. While he began the introductions of the court proceedings, Bill noticed there were two figures standing just behind and to either side of the Pythoness. They were draped in hooded cloaks that came far enough over their faces that even with his enhanced sight he couldn't make out their features. One cloaked figure was tall, broad and covered in gold embroidered ankh symbols at each shoulder and around the cuff of each sleeve. The other form was slightly shorter and slimmer than the first but had the light blue etchings denoting the Pythoness' handmaiden on its robe. Bill simply passed them off as the old crone's private guards and diverted his attention back to the action at hand.

"Sophie-Anne Leclerq, Queen of Louisiana, you stand accused of conspiring against your sign and sealed husband, Peter Threadgill, King of Arkansas and plotting his untimely death. By the traditions of the vampire race, all in attendance are to serve as witnesses to the justice preformed here this night. As elected master-of-arms in this hearing, I call the lawyers for the two parties to be ready to present their cases. What say you?" The King of Kentucky was taking his duties very seriously, as he gave each lawyer a steely gaze.

"I am ready. I am Simon Maimonides, representing the bereaved state of Arkansas." Bill glanced over to see the last four remaining members of the Arkansas delegation. All but one was wearing badly disguised masks of neutrality. Bill could smell their fear from his seat. After the previous night, the rumor that an assassin was out to murder the associates left behind in their party had spread throughout the conference. They were superstitious fools to believe it.

"I am ready. I am Johan Glassport, representing the falsely accused, bereaved widow, Sophie-Anne Leclerq." The queen's lawyer looked almost giddy as he prepared to defend his employer.

"Ancient Pythoness, are you ready to hear the case?" Isaiah asked reverently.

"Yes, I am ready. Let both parties now speak their peace," she said in that heavy, slow accent that sounded foreign even to Bill's ears.

The first to begin was the accuser. Henrick Feith, second in charge after Jennifer's death, began a very detailed, long and boring account of his saintly king's wrongful death. After more than half an hour, even a few of the vampire's in attendance began to fidget. Interestingly, as Bill's attention began to wander, he noticed something very peculiar. The children sitting on the other end of his row were paying more attention than a few of the vampire's in attendance. After all the blah, blah, blah coming from the stage not once did either child squirm, cry, or fall asleep.

Bill's interest in the children did not escape the ever watchful eye of their guard or the attention of their parents. Sookie was very aware of what was happening behind her, as was Eric, even from his concealed position.

Fortunately, Henrick finished his tale of woe with pink tears rimming his eyes and dripping down his white face. It was finally Johan's chance to make his case.

"Your Majesties, Pythoness, and witnesses gathered here tonight, I'd like to bring forth a witness to the tragic events. Miss Stackhouse, would you please come forward and share with us what you've witnessed?"

Sookie stood and Bill noticed that she was already dressed for the Ball later. It was a full skirt with a princess bust line that managed to disguise her 'baby bump' almost completely. It was a beautiful cream color with gold accents around and under the bust, around the low neck line and the cuffs of the bell shaped sleeves. She almost resembled a fairy princess. Bill shook himself from his admiration to listen to her story. He knew the majority of what she said to be true because he'd been there also. She spoke clearly and concisely, yet giving a very detailed account of the queen's actions. What he wasn't expecting, or anyone else by the collective gasp heard, was the admittance of the queen's guilt in killing Peter Threadgill.

The Queen of Alabama interrupted Sookie at that point. "A shoe? She used her shoe to kill Arkansas? Are you sure?"

"Yes ma'am, in retaliation for the slaughter of two of her children, one of them by the King himself. She did not plot to kill Arkansas; she defended herself, her state and her people. It was Arkansas that did the plotting."

"Lies! How can you listen to the word of a lowly human? What proof can you provide to back up this ridiculous claim?!" Henrick began to resemble a rabid dog at this point.

"I'm a telepath. The three 'pets' you brought with you, were some of the King's favorite's correct? After nearly three years of associating with vampire's and it still amazes me how much you say in front of humans. Most of you are so convinced of you own superior importance that you forget most of us 'lowly humans' have brains. Sure you can whammy us to forget or comply with your wishes but that doesn't excuse your blatant disregard for us. Two of these 'pets' are currently sitting in the Grand Ballroom waiting for the festivities to begin. They're bored so their minds are wondering and not thinking of much of anything useful. The third however, in your infinite wisdom, is sitting in the second row just there." Sookie pointed out a young man, appearing to be in his early twenties, sitting between two of the Arkansas vampire's. "Every single word Mr. Feith said was rebutted by the truth of his mind. He was Jennifer Cater's favorite. She brought him with her to every meeting with the king as they planned and plotted for him to marry the Queen of Louisiana, frame her for violating the marriage treaty and then take her very prosperous and wealthy state by assassinating her at the gathering meant to celebrate their union. Geez, when you guys plot against each other you really go to extremes."

"Bring the human forward," the AP demanded. Once on stage, the King of Kentucky glamored Arkansas' human to speak the truth and he corroborated all that Sookie had said. With that overwhelming testimony, Sophie-Anne was declared innocent and the state of Arkansas was awarded to her by right of her marriage.

The Pythoness raised a frail looking hand to regain the attention of the crowd, "To be clear girl, can you read my mind or those of other vampires?"

"No Ma'am. Being around vampires is the only peace and quiet I get. Pardon the pun but your minds are 'as silent as the grave' to me." Sookie clarified to the amusement of a few in the crowd.

"I see. Well then you should be most helpful during this next action. Have a seat next to me." It was not a request but a command. A small cushioned stool appeared in front of the tall hooded figure. Sookie had no choice but to accept.

The delegates from Arkansas were told to pledge allegiance to the queen then or they would have until the end of the summit to evacuate their state or die as traitors. They all unconditionally accepted and swore loyalty to their new queen in front of everyone. Bill had a suspicion though, that none of them would make it back to Arkansas from this conference.

Isaiah banged his stick again, to regain everyone's attention. "There has been a last minute change in this evening's schedule. There are two more items on the docket." The silence was deafening as the vampire's watched Steve Newlin being dragged in by one of Kentucky's Britlingen guards.

"You have no right to hold me!" Steve Newlin screeched at top volume. "I demand to be turned over to human authorities! You have no proof of these heinous allegations against me! It's slander! I'll sue!"

The very frightening female guard, grabbed Newlin by his collar and hoisted him into the air with ease, then slammed him down onto the stage in front of the dock. "You will be silent or I will silence you." The ferocious calm with which she projected finally managed to sink through the self-righteous, thick skull of Steve Newlin. His eyes widened in fear as he gasped for the breath that was knocked from his lungs.

"The accuser will now step forward and give his testimony," Isaiah said as his guard tossed Newlin into the small pen for the accused and stood directly behind him. She radiated a lethal stillness like the kind you see as a cat hunts its prey. Even the vampire's gave the Britlingens the respect they earned by staying out of their way.

Russell Edgington came up to the stage where the Arkansas' lawyer had been standing earlier. He was followed closely by another man. Taller and stockier than Mississippi, he had short brown curly hair and looked like he'd blend in better at a bar where leather is the main article of clothing than in the three piece suit he was wearing. Bartlett Crow held Russell's hand until they reached the platform. From there Russell stepped up to the lectern alone and faced his second's would be killer.

A/N: Hi! I know, I'm three days over due! (Story of my life!) But to make it up to you I still plan to up date on Sunday aaaaaaand I have managed to write two more chapters in addition to this! So any who review will get their tasty tease! I love all my minions...erm...reviewers and followers, so thanks sooooo much!

This chapter is a Part 1 because it was so ridiculously long, I had to cut it or it would rival my first chapter in length. Up next...the fate of the giant turd! Hehehehehe...