Paul POV

"Wow." I breathed, blinking several times with the realisation that I had just kissed Bella.

Bella stood in front of me stunned with the kiss and for a while she stood silent and I felt the panic rise in my throat. Had she rejected the kiss? Was it just an automatic reaction which she wishes she could take back? Was she going to stop being my friend and end all my meanings of living? Was that too much?

Bella finally nodded and a small smile lit up her face. I breathed a sigh of relief. "I've wanted to do that for a while." She whispered as she pressed her lips to mine again, but pulled away too soon for my liking. But I restrained myself- after all she was still recovering from her past and I didn't want to frighten her.

"Really?" I grinned as I tucked a stray hair behind her ear.

"Yeah… I don't know what it is but ever since I met you, I've felt like I'm my old self- not completely but almost. You make me feel safe and secure- and I know most people don't like living safe- but my whole life has been a mess and for once I want to feel at ease, I want to live a safe life where I can still have fun and not worry about anything dangerous- and I feel like that around you. You're the only person that I fully trust. You're the only person that I can talk to about anything. You're the only person that understands me. You're the only person that I have every loved and kissed." Bella babbled and I could see the blush forming on her cheeks, as a stray tear fell down her cheek.

"You'll always have me Bella." I whispered as I brushed away the tear that fell from her eye. "I know I can't make you erase the bad memories, even though I wish I could, but I will always help you move past them. We'll both move past our bad memories together and we'll learn how to love one another. You're the only girl that I have ever felt truly committed too." I smiled as my large hand cupped her cheek then frowned as a sudden thought dawned on me. "You're too good for me Bella. You don't deserve me. I've slept with so many girls that I can't even count and just threw them away- trying to forget the pain and ending up hurting them in the process. My dad rapped my mum and I just sat and watched unable to do anything. I'm a monster Bella."

Bella grasped my face between her hands and made me look her in the eye. "You listen to me Paul Long. You are not a monster. You are anything but. Yes you slept with a lot of girls and yes it was wrong. But it was your way of dealing with your pain and I am not going to judge you on what's in your past- you were going through the most hardest of times and having one night stands is nothing compared to what that beast did to you. If you were a monster you would not have a heart to feel the guilt you feel towards them now. However I do think you should apologies to them. As for watching your mother getting r-r." She stuttered on the word and closed her eyes before pressing on. "Raped by your father there was nothing you could have done. Don't blame yourself on another man's mess. What he did does not make you a monster. You did everything you could for your mother and that's what is most important."

I smiled weakly, and somewhere in my heart I knew she was right. But the tears fell down and I shook my head. "I didn't have to sleep with them girls Bella, I didn't have to treat them like garbage but I did. I'll do anything to make it up to them for what I did to those poor girls. Anything. But it doesn't change the fact that I still did it. I didn't have to throw my pain on other human beings. As for my mum, I could have phoned the police for her, I could have gotten help. But I didn't. I'm just as bad as my dad."

"Paul. Paul. Paul." She shook me repeatedly before hugging me close and kissing the tears away. "I know how you feel. I do. I blame myself all the time. But we have to stop it alright? If we want to get over this we can't torment ourselves over it and blame other people's thoughts on us okay? You didn't have to sleep with them girls but now you are making up for it and just as long as you haven't slept with any since you met me it's all okay. That shows a hell of a lot Paul. No man would be brave enough to do it. You were scared out of your wits. How could you go to the police and tell them the most hideous story any one can ever tell? I know how it feels Paul and I know that you were so frightened that you couldn't tell anyone. That man was a foul creature that does not deserve you as a son. You are too good for him Paul. Too good for anyone if only you would see the potential in yourself."

I nodded and sucked in a breath to calm my sobs. "You're right. About everything Bella. Rationally I know that but there is another part of me that denies it Bella. And there isn't… I promise." I regretted saying the last bit and cursed myself for lying.

She nodded and kissed my cheek before cuddling in. "I know Paul. God I know. But we'll fight this together alright? You and me as a couple."

For a second her eyes went wide and the signature blush crept along her skin once again but before she could freak out with what she had boldly said I told her, "Okay…angel."

Bella grinned and then bit her bottom lip- boy was that a turn on. It made my dick twitch as it gave me images of her in her underwear and showing off her creamy skin, looking innocent and biting her lip…..snap out of it Paul. "Great. Now let's go back inside before everyone starts worrying."

I smirked and wiggled my eyebrows. "They probably think we're getting off in the bathroom."

"PAUL!" Bella smacked my arm and scowled, but I could see the smile playing on her lips.

"Don't hit angel. It's not nice." I chastised before slipping my arm around her waist and pulling her into the cinema once again.

The rest of the date went by with ease, Bella cuddled into my side the whole time and I even had a friendly chat with Mike, Ben, Eric and Tyler who seemed like friendly guys. I had dropped Bella off at her house by midnight and kissed her goodnight before heading back to my empty house. This was the worst part of my days when I had to face the memories of what had happened and hopefully I could get enough money to find a new place. I hung my jacket off and kicked of my shoes as I closed the door and switched the lights on.

"Hello Paul." A sickly sweet and familiar voice called out from the end of the dusty corridor.

Fuck. Shit. Fuck. "Rachel. How did you get into my house?"

"Your back door was open." She shrugged before slowly stepping closer, her hips swaying from side to side.

"You know last night was fun? Better than all the other nights." Her voice turned husky as she walked up to me and placed her hand on my chest.

"Last night was a mistake Rachel." I spat as I pushed her away. "Our deal is over."

"Oh Paul. Don't say that." The right side of her mouth hitched up and trailed her hands down towards my jeans. I gulped. "Is it Bella? The new girl you seem so caught up with? Who you claim to be so in love with?"

"Yes. And I have sworn off girls. I'm dating her Rachel. We can't sleep together any more. It was a stupid deal to start with."

"Paul. You're not seeing straight. You know you love it when we have wild rampant sex- and this is just a stupid crush. Just because you have a similar past with Bella Swan its twisted your mind into thinking that you love her."

"I love her Rachel. Get it into your head. We can't do this anymore." I growled as I stepped away from her but her voice was alluring and it was hard to resist it. I shook my head- I couldn't lose focus now. I was with Bella and I would stay faithful.

"Please Pauly Just one more night." She purred, and looked up at me between those long eyelashes. That damn nickname.

Fuck. I knew in my heart I loved Bella. My sweet little Bella. But my mind hadn't adjusted to it yet- it thought that if I didn't kiss her, fuck her, she would spill our secret so my lips ravished hers, my hands searching all over her body. I wasn't thinking straight- my mind was clouded with lust. My heart was hurting and twisting in my chest, trying to break free from my chest as I devoured Rachel.

This isn't your Bella. This is a slut who is destroying your tiny bit of happiness in your life. My heart roared.

Rachel will ruin everything if I don't do this. My mind argued.

I had her top off in one smooth motion and saw that she wore no bra. But nothing happened down south. So I thought of Bella laying on my bed naked, only a thin sheet covering her body, scented candles glowing warmly in the darkness and rose petals scattered about the bed. That got me hard.

I groaned at the image in my head and then groped Rachel's breast and messaged them roughly, the whole time thinking about Bella.

The door opened then suddenly. "What the hell?" A gruff voice called out from the doorway.

My eyes widened and I turned around and dropped my hands from Rachel's breasts and gulped.

Charlie. Shit.

Edward's POV-

"Well Edward, what's the deal?" She whispered into my ear as her hand stroked my thigh. I looked up from her naked body- her pale, stone body which was a replica of mine, only more feminine- into her blood red eyes and nodded my head slowly. The small sane part of me cringed at the thought and fought to escape.

But the dark side one this time and my lips hitched into a smirk as I lent down and licked the shell of her ear before biting down on her ear lobe gently, before smoothing it with my venom. "Yes my love. I shall go back next week and be on my best behaviour around Isabella. Then you'll come along, the new girl in school, and introduce yourself as my girlfriend- you had to be closer to me. Everyone will think I have changed and Isabella will feel safe around me. After a while we shall kidnap her. Then I will get her to see how much she loves me. How much we are meant to be together- even if it takes a little persuasion and after I'm done with her I'll give you whatever you want."

She purred and then rolled on top of me, kissing down my neck. "Perfect. I do love to play games with humans. Do I get to toy with her a little?"

I kissed her shoulder as I moaned, "Of course sweetheart."

I was finally going to have Isabella in my arms.

Poor Paul. He thinks he's a monster and doubts himself so much. But why Paul, why would you do that to Bella? Listen to your heart and not your head for once! Bella won't be happy for this… should of told her the truth and flung Rachel out of your house. Tsk tsk you are too easily provoked;) And Edward. You are a creep. Okay enough of talking my characters before you think I have gone crazy. Was this okay? Thanks for the reviews guys! Remember to review for this chapter And on one last note Greenie101(Nicole) has got jared! Well done sorry to anyone who didn't have a chance!