Chapter 52
Settling Up, Sookie Style
Sookie's POV
6, 5, 4...
Okay, Okay! I'm coming out. You win. Oh my dear baby Jesus, I was so scared. I hadn't been able to think of a single thing as far as a full on assault. I was so not worthy of being called a vampire.
I wish he would cut me some slack, for Pete's sake. His return thought was immediate. I might have laughed if I hadn't been so flipping frantic.
Sookie, I have decided to cut you some slack, for Pete's sake. You have five minutes before I torch the farmhouse. Use those minutes wisely, they might be your last. Vampires are VERY flammable.
Okay, honestly, I had NOT done that on purpose but I wasn't gonna feel bad that I did. He was going to burn my damn house down! I grabbed the phone from the kitchen and was relieved to hear a dial tone. The beep beep beep of the message indicator told me that I had a ton of messages. I dialed the only person I knew that might be able to give me some insight.
I wish that Eric wouldn't be able to hear anything I said over the phone! Pam, dear lord, please answer!
Pam's POV (from under a very large and aroused were-tiger)
The chirping of my phone was fucking with the sensation of Quinn's rough tongue trailing it's way down to the waistband of my pants. What the hell could it be now? I snarled angrily and ripped the cell out of my purse which had thankfully fallen next to my head. Caller I.D. showed it was coming from Sookie's house. Was Eric pulling the old violent hide and seek routine? Jesus, when was the viking gonna come up something new?
"Let it go babe." he purred as he managed to unbutton and unzip my pants using only his teeth.
"Can't. It's Sookie and I'm betting Eric has her trapped and terrified that he's going to drain her."
"What?"
"Never mind, long story. Just focus on what you're doing, this won't take but a sec." I flipped the phone open and put on my bullshit voice.
"Sookie, what a nice surprise." Her voice sounded just as I'd expected it to. He had her scared shitless.
"Pam, he's threatening to burn my fucking house down! Will he? I thought it was a game but now I think he means it. He says he's gonna drain me and I think he means to do it! Shit Pam, is he bi-polar?"
"Sookie, darling. Listen carefully because I'm only telling you this once. He won't burn your house down, he won't drain you. This is his little initiation for you. It's boring, really. Here's the best thing you can do, surrender. I promise you, the outcome will be very rewarding. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm about to get a pelvic exam from a friend. Call me tomorrow night and thank me then. And don't forget that the sun comes up in less than two hours."
I felt that delicious claw rake it's way down both of my legs and the fabric fell away, exposing me to that wickedly sand-papery tongue that I was sure was about to vault me into the stratosphere.
Sookie's POV
She hung up on me, that BITCH!
I stared at the phone in disbelief. Was she serious? I was about to suffer god-knows-what at the hands of my maker and all she cared about was Quinn eating her out? Yeah, I gathered that little bit of intel over the phone. These new talents were getting pretty routine.
I wish I knew for sure if she was telling me the truth or not.
Yes, that one had been on purpose.
I knew right away, beyond a shadow of a doubt that she had been telling me the truth. Apparently Eric did this type of thing with all his creations.
Wow, I hadn't ever thought about the fact that he had turned more than just Pam before me. I felt a little jealous.
Focus, Sookie! There's bigger fish to fry.
So, I knew that I could wish my way out of this if I had to, but that would be cheating. Gran didn't raise a cheater in me so I would have to think of another way. Surrender was out of the question, Gran didn't raise no quitters, neither.
And just like that, I knew what to do. I was gonna call his bluff.
"Alskarinna, your five minutes are up. Come out now or face the flames!" He was shouting angrily into my open living room window. His smugness really chapped my ass and strengthened my resolve. I could see the curve of his sexy mouth as he smirked, reveling in his assumed victory. I felt a thrill as I yelled right back.
"Go ahead, Eric! You're right, I don't deserve to be a vampire or to be with you. I suck at this so just go ahead and torch my sorry flammable ass! There's something wrong with me anyway, remember? I'm the retarded vampire who pisses!" I tried my best to put some hurt and dejection into my tone but it was hard to hide my smile.
I waited for his response. Nothing.
Nothing came from outside. I looked to the window and didn't see him standing there anymore. What in the hell was going on now?
I crept to the window and peered over the edge. He was nowhere to be seen. And then stupidly, I stuck my fool head out the window. Just as I was about to feel relieved that he wasn't crouched under the window sill, ready to attack, he grabbed me from above and took off towards the tree tops. So much for my make-believe military skills and tactics.