Chapter 56

Coming Clean

(And It Ain't What You Dirty Minded People Are Thinking)

(Or IS It?)

This day had been the longest day in forever! I had watched most of Eric's DVD collection. How, you might ask, since he had hundreds? I watched them in fast forward. Regular speed was annoyingly slow so I watched in high speed. War movies, horror, drama, even some porn, which are hilarious when viewed at eight times the normal speed.

I watched the clock and it seemed to notice that I was anxious and decided to drag time to a standstill just to irk me. I had so much to tell Eric, I was excited and a little scared too. What if with every new discovery I made about myself, he liked me less. I mean, I was changing by the second. What if I changed so much that he decided I wasn't the one for him after all? My stomach rumbled loudly, I was starving. There was a ton of TruBlood up in the fridge, topside (as I liked to call the upstairs), but the idea didn't appeal to me. I really wanted some chocolate cake or some ham and cheese Hot Pockets. I would gladly strangle someone for a Burger Lafayette right now. Hmmmmmm, I wonder...

No, I shouldn't, it would be a total abuse of power, I couldn't just go wishing for a Burger Lafayette to appear in front of me, all hot and juicy with extra mayo and ketchup, tomatoes and cheese. Lots of melty, salty, sharp cheddar....

"I wish I had a Burger Lafayette in front of me right now!"

The funny thing about this wish thing, is that I found out the hard way, right then, that you have to be very specific when you wish for something. I had a Burger Lafayette in front of me, alright. But it hadn't come to me, I had gone to it. And did I mention that I hadn't bothered to put on any clothes? And worst of all, I found myself in front of, not MY burger, but Andy Bellefleur's burger. And I was naked, in his lap, during the beginning of the dinner rush at Merlottes. Well, shit.

No one said anything at all as they stared at the crazy ex-employee who had appeared out of thin air, naked, on the Deputy's lap. The funny thing was, I couldn't hear a damn thing they were thinking.

"Sookie, would you mind getting off my lap? You seem to be lacking clothing and I don't want anything to be misconstrued and if I gave you the impression that I wanted you to sit there with uh.... no clothes on well you must have.."

"Can it Andy! Shit, ain't ya'll ever seen a naked woman before?" I thought maybe acting indignant might save me some face.

Hoyt Fortenberry, god love him, raised his hand and said, "No ma'am, actually I haven't."

"Well then I guess today is your lucky day." I held my nose high in the air and walked past Terry Bellefleur who had the decency to keep his eyes on the ground.

"Afternoon Sookie. How're things?"

"Fine as apple pie, Terry." I stomped through and headed towards Sam's office. His door was closed and I knocked lightly. I could hear him inside, his thoughts anyway.

Dammit! Even her fucking half-wit himbo brother don't think nothing of her being gone. It's like the boy got dumber and gee, I can't see how that was possible. If I had explained that night, hadn't run away like a scared little boy....

I knocked a little louder this time, I couldn't bear to hear the angst in his thoughts.

"Fuck off, Terry, Arlene or whoever the hell you are. I'm busy!"

"Sam, it's me, Sookie. Let me in, I need some help, I'm out here naked and people are staring at me."

"What the fuck?" I heard him take three running steps to his office door and the wooden obstacle yanked inward violently. "Sookie? Oh my god, Sookie!" He grabbed me, apparently not caring about my lack of attire, and pulled me to him, squeezing me until I thought my ribs might break.

"Sam, Sam.... Can I come inside?" He let go of me and walked over to his desk. He was trembling all over, with rage or relief, I wasn't sure which.

"You know the answer to that, hey, where the hell are your clothes?"

"Sam, invite me in."

"You've been in here a million times, what's with the.."

"Sam, I can't come in to your personal space until you formally invite me in." I eyed him meaningfully and it took him a second to understand. Then he looked outside his office window and saw daylight, then looked back at me.

"If this is some kind of a joke, chere, it ain't at all funny."

"You know how you left me that message about how there was a lot about you that you needed to explain? Well there's a lot about me now, too, that needs to be explained. And as much as I love standing here in your hallway while Andy stares at my naked ass, I would GREATLY appreciate it if you would invite me in. I don't have much time, Sam." It wouldn't do for Eric to come looking for me and find me here in Sam's office without clothes on. I don't figure he'd give me much chance to explain before he took to chewing on my former boss.

"S..s..Sookie, won't you please come in?"

"Thank you, Sam. I blurred inside and slammed the door shut. He jumped around behind his desk and crouched in a defensive posture. "Do you still keep a spare set of clothes in the bottom of the filing cabinet?" He nodded yes. "Do you mind if I...?"

"No, not at all Sookie. It's a good idea, you know, because your, uh, naked and.."

Oh Jesus Christ, how many times did I imagine seeing her naked and beat off and now that I finally do she's a fucking vampire. Shit, I've still got a boner for her, vamp or not....

Sam Merlotte! Keep your thoughts about me chaste! I can hear you! And though you may find my current state of being distasteful, you will still give me the respect I deserve as a lady!

I sent that thought out to him so forcefully that he fell back into his chair like he'd been punched.

"I'm sorry, chere, I'm just surprised to see you. I really had given you up for de.., well missing. I'm glad to see you."

"We need to talk Sam," I said as I pulled on the black spandex shorts. I felt better but still a little naked without a bra. You could see my nipples through the white Merlotte's tee. "You need to know that Eric, did not kidnap me, I went willingly. I know Bill came here and told you a bunch of b.s., but you should know that it was Bill that tried to and almost succeeded in killing me. Eric had no choice but to change me to save me. If it weren't for him, I'd be totally dead."

"But if,.... if you're a vampire, how the hell are you walking around in the day time?"

"Like I said, there's a LOT I need to tell you and I don't have the luxury of time to tell you all of it. I'm not even sure that I should, it might be putting you in some sort of danger to know too much. I am a vampire but also something else. It's a mystery to me but I plan on finding out why I turned out this way. Just know that I am fine, I'm happier than I have been in a long time, and I miss you very much." I walked to him and kissed his cheek. I was happy to see that he didn't flinch away from me.

I smiled at him as I turned to go. "I hope now that you know a little, you can find some peace. And one more thing, I know you're a shape shifter. You could have told me Sam. It wouldn't have changed anything about our friendship." I gave him a little wave and he smiled. I walked down the hallway and back into the dining and bar area. Andy was still sitting there with his dumb look, the burger untouched. I walked over to him, patted him on head and took his burger.

"Bye ya'll!" I called over my shoulder, my mouth full of Lafayette's special recipe.

Damn, that's a good ass burger!

I wish I was at Eric's home, minus these clothes, where I was sitting when I left, and still eating this delicious yummy cheeseburger, and only 5 actual minutes will have passed since I left and....

I was afraid to end the sentence before I knew I had added in all the stipulations.

…. and that's it.