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Maybe he had given her the impression that he was a patient man. He had always tried to avoid pressuring Andy, always tried to give her the time and space she needed, even if she herself was no good at it.
But she had to know no man could relax after his 'girlfriend' (it still sounded so weird to address her like that, he much rather called her partner) was so obviously avoiding a serious talk.
Andy was nervous about telling him something. She had dropped her fork twice already and she was avoiding his eyes all through dinner.
Now they had finished eating and she was collecting the plates to bring them to the kitchen.
"Leave 'em. Just tell me what's up with you." He couldn't stand it anymore. Was she breaking up with him? No, there would have been an indication earlier. Was she trying to move too fast again? Oh boy, hopefully she wasn't expecting them to move in together already. Hadn't they agreed on taking it slow? The suspense was killing him.
"Well, I told you on the phone Best called me into his office after shift, right?"
He just nodded. Could she speed this along please? Maybe Frank had decided they couldn't ride together anymore. But would he just decide that behind his back? Sam would really miss partnering up with Andy.
"Well, it turns out Guns and Gangs wants me to do an UC-op." She paused for a moment to assess his reaction.
"Not for very long, just a couple of days. Two weeks max. Mostly information gathering. Suppose to be very low risk."
Sam raised his brows. "No such thing as a low risk UC. Why does Guns and Gangs want you? You're not exactly popular with them, last I checked."
"They needed a young female. They said they were impressed with the Vestibule op, and the fact that Brennan didn't make me as a cop."
Brennan. Why did she have to bring up that name? Did she think he would be more relaxed with her going undercover if he thought about the lack of success on his own last undercover job?
She was awaiting his response, he knew that. But he wasn't sure about how he felt yet. Was he happy with the thought of her going of undercover and being at risk? Of course not.
But did he have any right to hold her back if she wanted to advance in her career? He had gone undercover more times than he could count. He had loved it, and the experiences had taught him a great deal. Who was he to deny her that?
"When? What kind of operation is it?" Had she already said yes? Was she asking him, or telling him?
"Don't know anything yet. They want to brief me tomorrow." She looked up at him, eyes wide.
"Are you okay with this? I mean, are we okay if I do this?" If? So she hadn't said yes yet. But she clearly wanted to.
"Are you going alone?"
"One-woman op. Why, you don't think I'm ready to do it alone?"
Sam exhaled sharply. "McNally, I'm sure that whatever it is, you can do it. I'd just like to be in on it, and have your back when I can." Why had nobody warned him? They had to have known he would have wanted to be in on it. Did they really think he would just let her run off and not watch out for her?
"I know you always have my back, Sam."
"It's such a nice back", he sniffled, "somebody oughtta protect it."
It's just, after all the crap we went through together, I would have thought you would have at least given me a heads up."
Sam was rubbing his chin while leaning on Frank's desk. He really would have expected more from his friend. Why did he even have to let Andy go out alone this soon? Without consulting him, at all?
"It's out of my hands unfortunately, just got the order from higher up the food chain to bring her into this." Frank placed both of his hands on the desk and tried to get through to him.
"Just heard about it yesterday myself. Look, she's going to be fine. They assured me it was a simple in-and out, no questions asked operation."
"Who gave the order?" This was not sitting well with Sam, not at all. Why Andy? Why now?
"Don't have the full scoop on this, Sam. I was just notified. Look, you're just going to have to trust you trained her well enough."
"Do you know the specifics of the op? Do you know where they're sending McNally?"
"I know its need- to know only, I can't tell you. And she can't tell you either."
The hell with that. If he was going to let her go off alone, he at the least wanted to make sure everything went smoothly for her. He was probably overreacting, but this was all new to him. As a training officer, he was used to giving his rookies the chance to learn and make mistakes of their own, while keeping a sharp eye on them in case something could happen. Many people had told him he was a little too overprotective, but it had never really hindered him at work.
But now this rookie was truly his, and his priority of keeping her safe was ten times amplified. He wanted her to have her own career opportunities, but did it have to go so fast? She barely had any experience with undercover work. And now they wanted to send her in alone?
But he couldn't tell her about his issues with this, without her immediately thinking he didn't trust her enough. Her work was so important for her; she had shown that time and time again. If it came to a choice between work and him, he still wasn't sure which she would choose.
Sam was quiet. A little too quiet, if you asked her. Was he just pretending to be okay with all this?
Maybe she was the one who was pretending. Andy hadn't felt this uneasy in a long time. Here she was, scared out of her mind, and she couldn't tell any of it to the one person she could always talk to. If she was to screw up, he wouldn't be there to coach her. This was all on her. What had made her think she could pull this off? No time to back out now.
So Andy was doing what she always did when she was nervous. She was rambling on about anything but the elephant in the room.
Suddenly Sam grabbed her hand mid-sentence. "Don't worry. You'll do just fine."
How did he always know what she was thinking?
"It sucks that I can't tell you anything about it." The warmth of his hand twined into hers calmed her a little.
"Then tell me. Maybe I can help," he spoke almost under his breath.
Andy turned around to face him. "You know I can't do that. If they were to find out…"
Sam made a point of glancing around the empty room. "Who would find out?"
"I'll tell you all about it when I get back."
Sam grabbed her hand even tighter. "I can't keep you safe if no one will tell me what you're going to be doing."
Anger flared in her. So he was just pretending to be alright with all this. Did he really think she couldn't do anything without his help?
"I don't need you to keep me safe; I just need your support. I'm going to have a whole team backing me up out there. And who else have you been talking to?"
Sam pinched the bridge of his nose, suddenly looking very self-conscious.
"I called a few friends of mine. This whole thing is very hush-hush. I just can't figure out why a supposedly simple UC operation is treated so secretive."
A few friends? Who, where? She wouldn't be surprised if she were to be pulled of this assignment because of Sam's snooping.
They already went through this, when Sam checked out her mother. Or so she thought.
"Can't you just trust that I know what I'm doing? I can't believe you went behind my back. Again."
She withdrew her hand from his, leaving him looking a bit desolate.
"You, I trust. It's this whole operation that sounds a bit fishy to me."
Andy couldn't get rid of the headache she was feeling since she got out of bed this morning.
Her apartment felt too empty, there weren't that many evenings spent alone anymore lately.
Andy urged to pick up the phone and call Sam, but her pride prevented her from that. After all, she was the one who had insisted she needed to be alone tonight.
The conversation with Sam yesterday evening had been tiring. She had finally given up and turned in early. He just wouldn't understand that this was something she needed to do alone, and he needed to give her that space. Why did he have to butt in?
He was just going on and on about the operation. If it were anyone else going under, would he be this suspicious? Probably not. He was just frustrated that he was a bystander in this situation, being a control freak and all.
Okay, she had to admit she truly believed he was worried about her. Well tough. Had he even given the people who cared about him any consideration before he went undercover?
Worst of all, the timing of this little argument was terrible. How could he help her overcome her fears of keeping it together while in character when he clearly had no trust in her abilities?
Oh dammit, was all this even worth it? After all they had endured to finally be together, was she going to let this ruin it? But if she was to back out now (if she even could), would this be a precursor as to how their relationship would pan out: If Sam wasn't okay with it, she couldn't advance in her career? Completing this assignment successfully would be really good for her.
She would be scared too, if Sam was called back undercover. But she would trust him if he chose to do so. And he had already done it himself numerous times. It was her turn now.
A knock on her door made her almost jump up. She wasn't expecting anyone tonight, especially not this late. Andy looked through the peephole before opening up.
"Sam, what are you doing here? I thought you were having take-out with Oliver tonight."
She blocked the entrance with her body. Did he really think I'd be this easy?
"I did. And I've had some time to think, I guess."
Sam grinned at her and held up a six-pack of beer. 'I've been told I may come off as a little overbearing some times."
Despite herself, she let him through. "Is that your way of apologizing?"
He nervously ran his hands through his hair. "Look, if you're going to do this, I promise I'll do my best to give you full support, okay?"
He looked too darn cute with his apologetic smile; she couldn't stay mad at him...
"I guess I'll have to settle with that, huh?"
Neither Sam nor Andy had noticed the dark sedan parked outside Andy's apartment. To anyone carelessly passing by, the car seemed empty and unused, the person inside was not moving an inch. He kept his gaze on her window, hoping to see something of what was going on inside, or maybe secretly hoping the apartment would spontaneously combust and he would be done with it.
His stomach was turning when he thought of all the things that could still go wrong, despite his overly thought-out plans.
But there was also a childish exhilaration present, like waiting on your presents on Christmas day. Oh, their faces would be priceless! Finally judgment day would come, and it would be magnificent. He would make sure of that.
He just had to patient now, and reap the rewards later. They were going to pay dearly, even if they didn't know it yet.