Thank you for reading my story! THANK YOU! :D
Here's chapter 30! I'm amazed this story has gotten so long. Also, due to school starting back up next week, (school *hiss*) it will probably take longer to update. Sorry!
I fully intend to continue this story to the end. :D I hope you keep reading! I'm so grateful for the support! Please leave a review and let me know what you think, any advice, or suggestions! :)
"-fine Kanda. You don't have to stay."
Robin lets out a low groan when she hears the voice and tries to move. She feels a warm hand against her face and she relaxes, using all her willpower to force her eyes open. She squints; her first reaction being to squeeze her eyes shut from the brightness. Seriously, what is with this bright light?! Then she realizes she probably hasn't seen light for such a long time. How long, she wasn't all too sure at the moment, but one thing she was sure of is that she's alive. Incredibly sore and can barely move, but alive.
She blinks her eyes, taking the time to let them adjust to the light.
"Robin?" A voice asks. She struggles to lift her hand and place it over his. Her gaze meets his dark, worried eyes and she smiles.
"Kanda." She whispers.
"She's awake!" Lenalee cheers next to him. Robin hears new sets of footsteps and a happy red head leans over her with a goofy smile.
"Hey, Robin." He says. "Thought we lost you there."
"Robin!" Allen says to her right. "Are you alright?"
Kanda glares across the bed toward the white headed exorcist and growls.
"You were supposed to protect her, baka moyashi." He says.
"It's not my fault you took so much time to show up, Bakanda!" He yells, glaring back.
"Why you-"
"Hey, guys, calm down." Lenalee says. "We should let Robin sleep. She needs her rest."
Allen and Kanda huff, looking away and taking their respective seats at either side of the bed. Robin smiles weakly at the pigtailed girl, then suddenly flinches.
"What's wrong?" Lenalee asks her.
"You said 'she'." Robin says, just now realizing it. Everyone looks down at her and they fall quiet. Kanda grabs her hand.
"Your secret's out." He says. "You did, after all, make the cut across your chest."
"Crap." She says.
Robin pulls away and hides her face behind her hands, shaking her head.
"What am I supposed to do now?!" She asks, not really expecting an answer.
"Well, that one depends on you." A voice says from the other side of the room. Lavi and Allen step aside and Komui moves next to her. He smiles at her and Kanda's grip on her hand tightens.
"Good to see you're awake." He says.
"Komui," Kanda growls, glaring at the scientist. "If you even think of kicking Robin out of the Order, you'll have to go through me."
Komui frowns. "Kick her out of the Order?" He asks. "Where did you get that idea?"
"Wait," Robin says. "So then, you aren't?"
"Heavens no!" He says. "I'd admit it was a surprise to find out you're a girl, but it's hardly a reason to kick someone out. Besides, the Order needs all the exorcists it can muster. Losing a strong exorcist such as yourself would only hurt the Order, especially a new critical."
"Critical?" She asks.
"Yeah!" Lenalee says with a huge smile. "We got the news from Hevlaska! You finally broke 100 percent synchronization!"
Komui nods happily. "It also makes you a candidate for a general." He says. "Congratulations!"
Robin offers a weak smile and Kanda runs a hand through her hair, sneaking her a smile.
"So then, I can stay here?" She asks.
Komui nods. "The Order will always welcome you. I know it isn't much of a life, but I hope you can think of this place as your home. All I ask is that you no longer hide your gender."
"Home." She says. Fresh tears pour from her eyes and the rest of them give her a warm smile. She buries her face in the bed's sheets and Kanda's smirk fades, realizing the tears rolling down her face are no longer tears of joy.
"Robin?" He asks, looking down at her with worry.
"Raven." She whispers and the red head next to her stiffens. "I'm so sorry." She shakes her head and Kanda squeezes her hand tighter as her body is raked with grief. Lavi's one green eye darkens and he excuses himself before silently leaving the room.
"I couldn't help her." Robin whispers. "I'm so sorry I couldn't save her."
"It's okay." Kanda whispers and plants a kiss to her forehead.
"Raven?" Lenalee asks, raising an eyebrow at Lavi's strange reaction. Kanda shakes his head and the rest fall silent. When the nurse comes and announces the end of their visiting time, Kanda stays back. Robin clings to him for dear life and he remains at her side, trying his best to coax her to sleep.
For the next five days Robin remains confined to the infirmary room. Allen and Lenalee visit whenever they can; Allen usually bringing some sort of treat from Jerry. Even Lavi managed to visit. They were short meetings, with Lavi doing his best to stay cheerful. He laughed and made his usual amount of jokes, but Robin could see the bags under his eye and redness around his pupil. Kanda, of course, stayed constantly by her side. Robin wondered if he stayed even when she managed to sleep.
Amongst the last few days she's become so sick of sitting in bed all day. She isn't used to sitting around, waiting for her body to heal on its own since her Innocence still refused to heal the wound. In truth though, if Kanda had been even a minute too late with getting her back to the Order, chances are she probably wouldn't be alive.
When the Head nurse finally allowed her to go back to her room, Robin nearly got up and jumped for joy. Everyone made a big deal about it, warning her about reopening her wound and pushing herself too hard. The cut along her chest hasn't fully healed, but she can at least manage to stand and walk around normally. She'd have to visit the infirmary every morning to get the bandage changed, but she was more than happy with the arrangement.
Upon Komui's request she no longer hid her gender. By now all of the other exorcists, finders and scientists pretty much know she's a girl. Johnny from the science division even came and asked to get her measurements for a new exorcist uniform. She asked what it would look like, but Johnny insisted it be a surprise. She's slightly worried after seeing the short miniskirt for Lenalee.
Another change she wasn't too enthused by was her move to a separate room. Since she's a girl now she can't very well share a room with a guy. She nearly cried when she got the order and she suspected Kanda felt the same. He's had to handle most of her packing due to her wound and she suspects he's purposely taking more time than necessary. Not that she's complaining of course.
Robin sighs and struggles against a knotted tangle of hair. Apparently, when her Innocence hit the critical point, her hair decided to get obnoxiously long. It isn't as long as Kanda's, but the longer than normal locks have slowly but surely been making her mornings miserable. She's always hated having long hair. It looks nice on people like Kanda, but personally Robin would rather cut it all off. And don't think she didn't try either. She's attempted cutting it several times in the last week and every time it would grow back to the same length the following morning.
Robin stares ahead into the bathroom mirror and groans at the tangled mess. Her brush just wasn't doing it. Her fingers run down the single white strand and she sighs. It was only that one strand, with the rest of her hair its usual amber brown hue. The nurse said that hair oftentimes turns white after traumatic experiences. After seeing Raven's memories, nothing would really surprise her anymore.
The brush painfully tugs on the knot and Robin growls, throwing the brush across the bathroom. There's a loud crash as it hits the tiled wall and Robin cringes, wondering if she left a mark.
"Robin!" Kanda yells. He throws the bathroom door open, looking around worried. She meets his gaze and rolls her eyes, preoccupying herself by inspecting the bathroom wall.
"Are you okay?" He asks, worried.
"Yeah, yeah." She says and frowns. "Damn, I didn't even scratch it."
Kanda looks from the brush, to the wall, to her knotted hair, and chuckles, leaning against the open doorway.
"And you call me short-tempered." He says. She sticks her tongue out at him and tugs on her hair.
"How the hell do you deal with this?!" She yells, frustrated.
"Come here." He says. He gestures for her to come into the other room and she follows, snagging a seat at the end of his bed. He pulls out a wide-toothed comb and starts at the largest knot.
"You shouldn't tug at it." He says.
"Yes, oh long hair guru." She answers. Kanda pauses and gives her a look, to which Robin just shrugs. He sighs and continues with her hair until its completely untangled. She runs her fingers through it and groans.
"I thought you loved long hair." He says.
"Yeah," She says. "On you. This is way too much work."
He chuckles and wraps the white strand of hair around his fingers. He brings it to his lips and Robin's face turns beet red. Huh...maybe long hair isn't such a bad thing.
"It looks nice on you." He says.
"Is that a compliment?" She asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Fact." He answers and she blushes.
"I actually used to keep my hair long back when I was little." She says. "But I swear it was some kind of curse. One day a bunch of kids cut it all off. When it grew back, I ended up getting gum stuck in it. Then I got it stuck on a tree. Then a door."
"A door?" He asks, stifling a laugh.
"It hurt!" She says, glaring at him. He rolls his eyes and she pouts.
"Anyways," She continues. "The only reason I really kept growing it out was because Raven loved me with long hair. She also tried to get me to wear dresses and skirts, but you can guess how that turned out."
She looks down, holding back her tears. Kanda nuzzles her neck and she gives him a small smile, enjoying the attention. She's been doing her best to stay cheerful, more for Kanda's sake then hers. The last thing she wants is to worry him. Ever since her breakdown in the infirmary, he refuses to leave her side. She barely gets a chance to go to the bathroom. It also hasn't helped that she's been getting nightmares every time she attempts to sleep. Back when she first thought she lost Raven she went weeks with only three or four hours of sleep. It looks like her insomnia has returned.
His lips brush against her ear and he hums, sending shivers up her spine. She moans when his teeth sink into her earlobe and twists around so she can face him. He presses her back against the bed and their lips lock, Robin opening her mouth to let him in deeper into the kiss. When they pull away, he unbuttons her shirt, looking down at her with soft eyes.
"You're going to mess up my hair." She says. "Besides, the Head nurse said no sex until my wound's healed."
"Said?" He asks.
"Insisted."
He gives her a disappointed sigh and lies down on the bed next to her.
"I'm going to miss you." She says, burying herself into his chest. "I know it's only a few hallways distance-wise, but it's going to suck."
"I think I can get us a few more days." He says. "I'll just tell Komui your wound is still bugging you." His fingers brush against the bandage across her chest and she winches.
"You okay?" He asks.
"Yeah," She says. "Just a little sore. I still don't know why my Innocence won't heal it."
"Maybe because it was self-inflicted?" He offers.
Robin's eyes darken and she pulls away. She hasn't told him about the dream and what she saw. He would probably tie her to his side and never let her out of his sight again.
He frowns and scans her face. "Hey, you okay?" He asks. Robin shakes her head. "Thinking about Raven?"
She nods and he wraps his arms around her, pulling her into an embrace.
"I'll be fine." She says, desperately blocking out the tears. He frowns.
"I hate it when you cry." He says. "I hate you like this."
"I'm sorry." She whispers, a tear sliding down her cheek.
"It's okay." He says, holding her tighter. "Just let it all out. I'll listen."
She buries herself into his arms and sniffs.
"Back when we were facing the Noah, Road caught us in her dream." She says. "I saw all her memories. I never fully understood how much she suffered." She looks away, giving into the sobs pouring out of her body. She scrunches into a ball and Kanda pulls her closer.
"I'm ashamed." She says. "I always bragged how she was my best friend, but I never saw how much she was hurting. She was the one always looking after me. I couldn't do anything to help her. All I ever did was run away."
"You didn't know." He says. "There's no point beating yourself up." She shakes her head.
"You don't understand." She says. "Raven watched her parents die. She let their murderer beat and rape her. It was horrible. I always knew her parent's death bothered her, but to feel how much pain she felt on that night was unimaginable. It was awful. And yet, why do it I feel so jealous? Why is it that Raven's pain fills me with so much envy? I'm despicable."
"Robin." He whispers. She shakes her head and erupts into sobs, crumbling in his arms. Robin grabs him and cries into his chest, soaking his muscle shirt. Kanda holds her tighter, unsure of what to do. It's as if should he let go, she'll shatter into a million pieces. It makes him wonder just what it was like for her when she first lost her friend.
"Robin." He says, louder than before. He forces her to meet his gaze and she sniffs, her eyes overflowing with tears. Courage wells up inside him and he kisses them away, holding her closer.
Suddenly her stomach lets out a loud growl and she flinches. Her face flushes and she hides behind her hands, while Kanda chuckles.
"Come on," He says, getting up. "Let's go eat."
"I don't want to." She says. Her stomach, however, lets out a grumble that says otherwise.
"Really?" He asks. "Sounds like your stomach disagrees."
"Screw my stomach." She says. He rolls his eyes and scoops her up in his arms, carrying her bridal style.
"Kanda!" She yells as he carries her out of their room and down the hall.
"No fair!" She says, squirming in his arms. "Hey! Someone! Rape!"
"Shut up, baka." He says. "Besides, it's not rape if you're willing." Robin pouts and looks away with a huff. Kanda glances down at her and sighs.
"Personally, I think it's a load of bullshit." He says. "But you always seem so much happier when you're with the others. You really need to get rid of this always feeling alone crap. You have people who care about you. Isn't that why Raven fought so hard to protect you? You may be fine with wallowing in despair but I refuse to lose you. I'm not about to let you run away. Got that?"
She sniffles and curls up tighter as new tears spring up from her eyes.
"Hey!" He says, alarmed.
"You're so sweet, Kanda." She says, wiping the tears blurring her vision. He looks away, pretending to be annoyed, but Robin spots the red tint across his cheeks and she smiles.
"Thank you." She whispers into his chest. "Thank you so much."
"Hey, Robin." Allen says with a smile. "Kanda."
Kanda wordlessly sits Robin down at the table across from the white haired exorcist.
"What do you want?" Kanda asks her, ignoring Allen's greeting.
"I can get it myself." She says, moving to stand. Kanda death glares her, daring her to stand up. She gulps and obediently sits back down.
"So?" He asks, on the verge of losing his temper. Robin thinks.
"Three orders of mac and cheese, two orders of potatoes au gratin, five steaks, medium well, three orders of fried rice, an order of chicken Alfredo, three orders of calamari, two orders of curry, a turkey and cheese sandwich and a Caesar salad." She says with a sweet smile. "Oh and strawberry shortcake for desert. Just bring over the whole thing."
He twitches and a dark, ominous aura radiates out from him. Before she can open her mouth again, he stalks over to Jerry, muttering something in Japanese.
"What's up with him?" Allen asks, watching Kanda order all the food.
"I think he's trying to be sweet." She says. Allen pales.
"Oh god," He says. "The world's gonna end."
Robin rolls her eyes and looks up at the figure moving over to their table.
"Hello Lenalee." Robin says, greeting the pigtailed girl. Lenalee looks up and gives her a weak smile.
"Something up?" Allen asks. Lenalee sighs.
"I was worried about Lavi so I went to check up on him." She explains. "All he said was that he wanted to be alone. I wish I knew what was bothering him."
Robin looks down.
"By the way, Robin." She says, catching her attention. "I forgot to mention it, but if you need clothes or anything, I have no problem letting you borrow something."
Robin sighs. "Johnny said he'd be working on my new uniform." She says. "I'm not hiding my gender anymore, but I'm really not looking forward to wearing a skirt."
"It's not so bad." Lenalee says. "Hey, I know! We should go out shopping sometime. It'll be fun!"
"Sure," Robin says. "Why not?"
"Yay!" She says, taking the seat next to her. Kanda, who returns juggling a handful of plates, glares angrily at the girl.
"Move it." He growls. Lenalee pouts.
"There's plenty of space next to Allen." She answers and he twitches.
"Sorry Lenalee." Robin says. "Would it be alright if you sit with Allen?"
The pigtailed girl sighs and begrudgingly moves to the opposite side of the table. Kanda growls, annoyed, and sets the plates in front of Robin. She scans hungrily at the food and blinks, smirking when she spots the bowl of soba noodles mixed into the stacks of food.
"Shut up." He grumbles, starting at the tray of soba in front of him.
"Spaghetti." She says back and he growls. Robin giggles. She goes to take a bite of food, but instead of a delicious spoonful of potatoes, she's greeted with a mouthful of hair. She spits it out, growling at the annoying locks of hair.
"Having problems?" Kanda asks.
"Give me Mugen." She says, glaring angrily at the hair falling on her face. "I'll burn it off if I have to."
"You really are hopeless." He says, setting down his chopsticks. Robin opens her mouth to argue when Kanda suddenly reaches up and undoes his ponytail. She watches, confused, as he runs his hands through her hair and pulls it back, tying it off with his hair tie.
"Oh." Robin says. She blushes. "T-thank you."
"It would look cuter if it was a ribbon." He says. He runs his fingers through the hair and shrugs, returning to his soba eating. Lenalee and Allen watch the two of them in shock.
"What's wrong with Kanda?" Lenalee asks, thoroughly perplexed.
"I think he's being romantic." Allen answers. Lenalee gasps.
"Oh god, the world's gonna end." She says and Allen nods in agreement.
"I don't know what your guys' problem is." Robin says. "Kanda's always sweet. He just doesn't like to show it because he thinks it makes him look weak."
"Shut it." Kanda growls. She smiles.
"See?" She says. "While he's also incredibly sadistic and possessive, he's actually kind of nice."
"Interesting definition of nice." Allen says.
"Oh yeah," Lenalee asks. "How's the move going?" Kanda looks up and growls angrily at the girl. Lenalee flinches and holds her hands up to show she means no harm.
"Kanda refuses to leave me alone." Robin explains. As if to prove her point, Kanda pulls her closer to his side, wrapping an arm around her waist.
"Robin is going to have to move to her own room at some point, Bakanda." Allen says through a bite of his food.
"I bet you're just waiting for that, baka moyashi." He says back, glaring dangerously at the white headed exorcist. Allen merely shrugs.
"I'm just amazed you haven't smothered her to death yet." He counters.
"Me too." Robin says. Kanda glares her way and she quickly adds, "But I'm not complaining."
"Shut up, tenshi." Kanda growls. Robin smirks and plants a kiss to his cheek.
"Love you too." She says and Kanda rolls his eyes.
With her long hair properly tamed, Robin returns to her food, digging into a bowl of mac and cheese and savoring the warm, gooey deliciousness. She purrs with joy, and feeling particularly happy, takes the time to scan the cafeteria. Her eyes rest on the entrance and she chokes.
"Robin?" Kanda asks.
She coughs on her food and unfortunately the object of her attention notices her. His burning, red eyes glare at her and Robin squeaks, recognizing the anger on her Master's face. He starts to walk over to her table, looking more and more pissed.
Robin racks her brain, desperately searching for the reason behind his anger, and more specifically his apparent anger towards her. Coming up empty, she decides the reason is unimportant and quickly weighs her options. She can face his inevitable wrath like a boss and most likely die in the process; hide in fear under the table and hope he kills someone else first; or run for her poor, god-forsaken life. Another glance his way and she jumps up from the table, making for the exit. Yup, option three looks good.
"Robin?!" Kanda asks. "What-"
"ROBIN!" Cross yells. She quivers like prey caught in a predator's grasp. She risks a glance behind her and realizes he's only a couple feet away.
"Crap." She swears.
Should she activate her Innocence? She knows she won't be able to stop his bullets, but maybe, just maybe, she could block them long enough to get him to calm down. She can do it. Wait a second. He's her Master! He wouldn't actually kill her, right?
She turns to greet him and he reaches for Judgment, holstered on his leg.
Crap.
Deciding she has no other option, she concentrates and her wings spring from her back. Cross looks at her surprised, and her wings scatter in a frenzy. The room is surrounded by a cloud of white feathers that, for four crucial seconds, successfully distract the general long enough for Robin escape to the exit and bolt down the hallway.
"Damn that idiot apprentice!" Cross growls, batting the feathers away from his face. "You'll have to do better than that!" He runs after her in a mad dash down the hallway.
"What the hell?!" Kanda yells, getting up from the table. He runs after the general, while Lenalee and Allen remain at the table, frozen in shock.
"What was that?" Lenalee asks, confused.
"I have no idea." Allen answers. "But Master looked really pissed." He shivers, remembering the general's expression.
"Shouldn't we help Robin?" Lenalee asks, getting up. Allen chuckles nervously.
"She'll be fine." Allen says with a weak smile. "He is our Master so I'm sure it's not like he'll actually try to kill her or anything." Lenalee considers his words and nods, sitting back down.
"Yeah," She says. "You're probably right."
Allen smiles and takes one last look down the hallway.
She better run like bloody hell.
"Dammit!" Robin yells, running for her life.
Her feet slam against the floor as she propels herself down the Order's hallways. Her heart pounds in her eardrums as she maneuvers around occasional finders or scientists. Most of them shout at her in surprise, but she ignores them, focusing more on escaping the angry, red headed demon she's apparently pissed off.
As she turns another corner, she collides with a solid body. Papers scatter around them and she falls back. A blonde scientist massages his shoulder and glances at her in surprise.
"Robin?!" Reever asks. "What the hell-"
"Sorry-Reever-my-bad-gotta-go-will-die-bye."
She jumps to her feet and runs around him, right as Cross makes the corner. She cringes at the sight of him and forces her legs to go even faster than she thought was humanly possible.
"Damn apprentice!" He yells, closer than before. She feels a hand grab her shoulder and she swears. The hand tugs and she falls backwards onto the hard floor. Cross grabs her shirt and literary drags her down a separate hallway.
"Noooooo!" Robin yells, struggling against him. "I want to live!"
"Shut up." Cross growls. "Do you want my help?"
"I'm too young to die!" She yells. "You hear me?! I don't-wait what?"
Cross sighs angrily and drops her in the middle of the hallway. She lands with a thud as her head slams against the floor. She groans and glares daggers at him. The general reaches into his pocket and pulls out a match and a pack of cigarettes. She waits as he lights one and brings it to his lips. He exhales a puff of smoke and looks down at her with an irritated stare.
"What are you talking about?" She asks, waving away the cloud of smoke.
"This is about Raven." He answers and she flinches.
"She's dead." She says.
"Wrong." He says. Robin's eyes widen. Her eyes darken and she looks away from his stare.
"If you're done running around like an idiot, then I suppose you return to my room so I can help." He says. "Splitting souls is tricky business and I'd rather not attempt it in the middle of the hallway."
Robin suddenly lifts a hand and snatches the cigarette from his lips. Cross's eyes widen in surprise and she crushes it in her hand, ignoring the new burn. She tosses the charred remains away and glares at him, tears streaming down her face.
"Shut the fuck up!" She yells. "I know you're an insensitive asshole, but this is too far! This sick joke of yours isn't funny!"
"I'm not joking." He says, emotionless. "She's alive."
Robin shakes her head. "It's a lie."
He grabs her chin and forces her to meet his gaze. His eyes are dead serious and she feels a tear trickle down her cheek. Cross lets her go and she collapses on the ground, burying her face in her arms.
"Not only is she alive," Cross continues. "But I know a way to separate her soul. She'll be able to move and think with her own body. I'm willing to offer my services. For a price, of course."
"A price?" She asks. Cross sighs.
"Just think about it." Cross says. "The process I'm planning to attempt has, at best, a 66 percent fatality rate. If it fails, which there's a good chance it will, you die. Think it over and meet me in my room tonight if you still want to attempt it. I'll explain the specifics then."
With that, he turns around and walks the other way, nearly bumping into a frantic Kanda. Kanda glances at the general as he strolls down the hallway and he focuses his attention back to Robin. She's curled into a ball with her face hidden from sight.
"Robin!" Kanda calls, moving to her side. "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine." She answers.
"That bastard didn't do anything to you, did he?!" He growls. Robin lifts her head and pulls herself to her feet.
"I'm fine." She says. "He didn't do anything."
"Then what was that about?" He asks. Robin sighs and suddenly wraps her arms around him. Kanda glances at her, taken off guard.
"Can you wait for me in our room?" She asks.
"Like hell I'm just going to let out you of my sight after all that."
"Please." She says, surprising him with the desperation in her voice. "There's someone I need to speak with and I need to do it alone."
"What's it about?" He asks.
She bites her lip. She doesn't want him to worry. Robin puts on a cheerful grin and plants a kiss to the side of his face.
"Trust me." She says. "I'll meet up with you later, okay?" Before he can speak, she sneaks around him and heads off down the hall.