It took me hours to fall asleep. I took a shower, trying to wash off the pain, as if I could make everything disappear down the drain. I had to turn off my cell phone to avoid the incessant calls from Alice and Jake. I expected someone to show up: Alice dancing through the door, Jake looking down at me with guilty eyes, Edward angry and frightening. But no one came. And as the night drew out longer, I finally found sleep, lying on the living room couch draped in a blanket.

The world moved, like I was on a boat on the ocean. I opened my eyes and saw Alice, her eyebrows pulled together in concentration, with Edward standing beside her. They weren't looking at me. I shut my eyes again and pretended to be asleep.

"This is never going to stop," Alice whispered. "There's nothing we can do to stop her from getting herself into trouble."

"I didn't ever stop caring for her," Edward said in a hard voice, turning away from Alice to face the kitchen. "This is just part of the difficulties of wanting her."

"You aren't the only one that wants her safe," Alice chided. "We all do."

"Even if we're all trying, it won't be enough." His voice was moving, like he was pacing back and forth. Alice sighed.

"I love pizza," Alice said. Pizza? I opened my eyes, and there was Jake. He was sitting at a small table across from a girl with dark hair, the air filled with the smell of cheese and oregano. I stared at him, but he wasn't looking at me; he was looking at the girl across from him.

"Well, that's why we're here," she said, laughing. A huge grin spread across his face.

"Are we gonna be adventurous today?" The girl shook her head fast.

"The last time we were adventurous, it was awful."

"It was just some habaneros," Jake said, chuckling.

"My tongue burned the entire ride home!" She shook her head again, slowly, and reached across the table for his hand. Their fingers laced together easily.

I realized who she was. I walked around to stare into my own face, watching Jacob from across the table. I was smiling, my hair spilling across my shoulders. I looked around and recognized the restaurant; it was a place Jared had told us about, a tiny pizza place in Seattle that he claimed had the best pizza on the entire west coast. We'd been twice before, agreeing with him. This third time, though, was different. It was only a few days after that night we'd spent together, the night that we had both let our guard down, let the walls crumble. We were different; everything was different.

"Maybe just cheese this time?" Jake suggested, cocking his head to the side. I remembered this truce, the easy way he'd squeezed my hand. The me at the table smiled, and my own lips tugged up to mirror hers.

"Maybe."

My eyes snapped open with a jolt. Morning had come, but the rain hadn't let up from the night before. I rubbed my eyes and sat up slowly, feeling like I hadn't slept for long enough. My dream was still floating in the forefront of my thoughts, and I ached for Jake, despite my anger at him, despite the fear inside of me. I brushed my teeth, hoping it would help me to feel better. When it didn't, I tried showering again, despite my hair still being slightly damp. I turned the water as hot as it would go and stood under the stream, feeling my stress melt away. When I finally turned off the water, I finally felt relaxed.

I turned my phone back on. Alice had only left one more voicemail after I had turned it off, probably knowing that it not ringing meant I wasn't going to answer. Jake hadn't left any messages after I turned it off, which made my stomach swirl with the tiny tendrils of longing. I clicked on his contact and held the phone up to my ear, hoping.

"Bella?" he said almost breathlessly after just one ring. I bit my lip.

"Hey, Jake," I said in a tiny voice. He sighed loudly.

"It's really great to hear your voice," he whispered into the receiver. I didn't know how to answer that.

"Can you come over?" I asked, unsure of what he would say.

"I'll be there in five minutes." His answer was immediate, unthinking.

"Okay."

"I love you," he said, and the call clicked off. I took a deep breath. I tried to tidy up, but my hands were too cold and clammy. I waited for something: a noise, a flash of movement. I thought about my dream, my memory, and held onto the peace of being there with him.

It only took him three minutes. He knocked on my door urgently, the noise too fast. I opened the door to see him standing in front of me, hair glistening from the rain, his bare chest covered in tiny droplets. I smiled unconsciously, my chest opening up to let me breathe again. He grabbed my hand and squeezed.

"I missed you," I said, staring at him. His eyes were full of pain. He stepped inside and shut the door behind him. He pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around me, the cold of the rain seeping through my thin shirt. He kissed the top of my head, and I sighed, unable to be angry with him. His fingers combed through my wet hair lightly. I pressed my fingertips into his back, relaxing into him.

"I missed you too," he whispered into my hair. I didn't want to move. He pulled away first, his hand finding mine instinctively. He tugged me towards the couch, and we sat beside each other, quiet. I rubbed the back of my neck with my free hand and sighed.

"I'm so sorry, Bells," Jake blurted out. "Alice and I were just trying to help. We wanted to figure things out before we told you. We didn't want to worry you if we could figure out a way to stop it before it happened. You gotta believe me, I just wanted you to-"

"Jake," I interrupted, squeezing his hand gently. "I'm not mad." His mouth was still open, his breath still held to explain more. He exhaled in a puff.

"You aren't?" I shook my head.

"I just needed some time to think." He nodded slightly.

"When Alice first told me, I lost it," he admitted. "It wasn't until after that night that she told me. She lied because she wanted time to figure out what happened. She said that there was no way that any of them would've come here without a good reason. She thought someone must've told them, or something weird must've happened." I thought about my conversation with Edward after coming back from Italy, how he'd told me that they didn't think of time the way we did.

"Edward said they probably wouldn't think about me again until I was 30," I said, my mind drifting back. Jake nodded.

"Alice said you'd be closer to 40. Which is why she was so freaked when she saw them. She said it didn't make any sense."

"Does she have any idea what could've made them come so soon?"

"She was looking. She's been trying to figure it out every second of every day." I imagined her searching the future endlessly, trying to see just a glimpse of the Volturi's decision to come. I wondered what she wasn't seeing.

"They could just be wrong," I said after a minute. Jake looked at me questioningly. "Maybe they underestimated how much the Volturi wants me dead."

"I doubt that. You aren't as special as you always convince yourself that you are." I made a face at him, and he smiled.

"I'm being serious," I urged, but he shook his head.

"Alice said that Edward got into the leader's head. He saw too many other problems in there for you to be their number one priority like this." I bit my lip and stared down at my hands in Jake's grasp.

"Then what else could it be?" Jake's eyes glazed over slightly.

"We thought someone had to have said something. She said that no one in her family would dare, even the blonde one that hates you. And I told her that none of us even knows where they are, so the wolves are out."

"Alice said Rosalie hates me?" I asked. Jake laughed.

"That's what you pick out from all that?" He lifted my hands to his face and kissed my fingers. "I was just adlibbing. Anyways, I told her that it had to be one of them. After all, no one else even knows what the Cullens are, let alone anything about the creepy bloodsucker royal family in Italy."

"No, you're right," I agreed. "It would have to be another vampire. But maybe no one told them. Maybe something else gets their attention."

"Alice couldn't think of anything that would bring them here. The Victoria thing was about the only thing that makes them do house calls like that, and Alice didn't see anything like that when she was looking at you." We were both quiet, and my mind raced.

"What about me?" I asked finally, staring up at him. "What if I called them? What if I did this to myself?" Jake shook his head immediately, almost ignoring me.

"Alice saw how scared you were. You couldn't have called them."

"Then what happened?"

"We don't know, Bells," Jake said, and I could hear a tiny hint of annoyance in his voice. "Alice and I have had this conversation before and it just never gets any better. We don't have any idea what it could be. But she's searching, and I'm here to keep you safe until she figures out what it is."

"I just want it all to be over," I whispered, leaning into him. He wrapped an arm around me and pulled me tightly to him.

"I won't let anything bad happen to you," he said in a low voice. "You're my girl." I pulled my face away slightly and smiled up at him. He moved his face down to kiss me, and when his lips brushed mine, everything disappeared. I wasn't afraid; I wasn't alone. I dug my fingers into his back, and he sighed into me.

"I love you," I said breathlessly, my lips still on his. He breathed heavily against me, his chest rising and falling. His hand trailed to my hip and pushed back my shirt to touch bare skin, and I shivered. His fingers wrapped around my waist. I kissed him again, long and deep, and he drew me into his lap. He picked me up gently and carried me, his lips still on mine, to my room. And I wasn't afraid, wasn't hurting, not with Jake there again.

I called out sick from the library that day, a first for me. Jake and I stayed in my room, wrapped around each other, comforting the other. The broken pieces of myself, the agonizing memories that seeing Edward had brought back up, disappeared. I had chosen Jacob for a reason, and Edward was just an old love. I loved Jake in a way that I never had with Edward; I could feel it in the way Jake ran his fingers so lightly down the length of my arm, the way he breathed into the hollow of my neck, the way he held me beside him. I knew that Edward's little heart in me, still fluttering from seeing him, would fade with time.

I called Alice, who was more apologetic than Jake had been. I explained that I wasn't mad, and she told me about what she had seen. Her story matched with Edward's retelling almost down to the exact wording. She assured me that she was watching them constantly, hoping to get a glimpse of what could make them come back to Forks. I reminded her that Jake was there to make sure I was safe until she came back, and she promised to visit again soon. Her reassurance was comforting, and I was able to relax.

Jake ordered pizza after a few hours. I told him about my dream, of the memory of the pizza restaurant in Seattle. He smiled, taking a bite of the slice in his hand.

"I remember that," he said, almost distantly. "You were wearing that new dress you found with Angela."

"I was." I thought back to that day too, a week before, when Angela and I had taken a day to drive to Port Angeles. She had been glowing, so happy about getting a dorm close to Ben, and I had reveled in her joy. I'd found the dress in a tiny local boutique on sale, and when I had put it on, Angela had insisted that I buy it to impress Jake.

"Remember the first time you wore a dress around me?" I laughed, covering my mouth full of pizza with my hand.

"Let's just pretend that never happened," I said, pointing at him with my pizza slice. He shook his head, grinning.

"That was such a great day, though!" he whined, child-like.

"For you, maybe."

"You know you had fun." I rolled my eyes at him. I had worn the dress at Alice's urging, who told me that I should try and look really nice for Jake one day just out of the blue. The dress was old and a little small, and it clung to my body too tightly, but I wore it anyway, feeling ridiculous as I drove to La Push. I met Jake down at the beach for a picnic, a usual date, but when he had seen me, his eyes had softened and he had pulled me close to him, wrapping his arms around me too inappropriately for public. I had protested, and he had jokingly pushed me on the arm. I was clumsy, though, and I lost my balance. I fell on my butt into the shallow water, the waves lapping at my thighs. He had laughed so loudly that he almost fell himself, and I had felt so free.

"Just eat your pizza," I said mockingly, sticking my tongue out at him. He took a bite pointedly and beamed.

I wanted my life to get back to normal, and I tried. There was no use in worrying, Jake said. We were happy, and that was what was important. I was alive, and we knew the timeline for when the Volturi would come. I had months; Alice said it wouldn't happen until around April. We spoke about it in hushed tones, in code words, never calling the nightmare by name. It made it easier for me, not having everyone talking about the Volturi all the time.

Alice called about ten times a day, and almost every time, she asked for Jake. The two of them would whisper at each other through the receivers, Jake's back hunched away from me, his hand casually covering his mouth. I tried to ignore these strange calls, tried not to think about what they were discussing. I wanted to move on.

Jake started school again. It was extremely difficult to be away from him, now that I needed him so much more. The breathlessness, the strange hollow sensation that I felt whenever we were apart, was intensified now that I knew I was going to die. I felt almost panicked, like I would see Jane standing among the rows of books in the library or along the side of the road as I drove away from La Push. When I tried to tell Alice about it, she brushed me off. She reminded me that everything was under control and that it would be months until anything happened. Still, I worried.

The only one who made me feel in control of everything was Edward. It was almost impossible to ignore him, knowing that he understood. He proved himself useful, too, when he came to meet me at the library on a particularly gloomy day. He had walked so casually up to me at the counter like we were friends. He told me he knew I was still scared, despite my objections, and he said that he knew just as much as Alice did. They talked constantly, he reasoned, and she told him everything. He also said that he knew that she wasn't telling me anything, and he promised to tell me whatever I wanted, so long as I didn't tell Alice.

I settled into a new routine: Jacob spent the night with me and left in the morning – always grouchy, always trying to think of an excuse to skip – for school and I would go to work, where Edward was waiting. He had gotten a job alongside me at the front desk, dazzling my poor old boss with his charm, so that we had time to talk. He told me about Alice's talks with Jake, who had told the pack everything. My around-the-clock guards had been removed with the danger delegated to a finally-known date, and the pack, for the most part, had accepted Alice's vision as a sure thing. I even felt that Jake was less careful with me, knowing that I would survive until spring break.

Alice and Jake, during their phone conversations, were still trying to figure out what caused the Volturi's movement. Edward told me that Jake was convinced that there was no reason while Alice was positive that something had to remind them about me. She was still so sure, Edward said, that they would never have come on their own so soon, and Jake, not understanding the Volturi as well as Alice, thought that maybe they just really wanted to kill me. Edward was holding back his ideas from me, which was both annoying and relieving. Somehow, I just couldn't stand to think of another possibility.

I tried to forget. I tried to fill my time with cleaning, cooking, working. I was desperate to avoid any down time for fear of falling back into a familiar place of dread. I spent time with Jake. I worked as much as I could. I visited Charlie often for dinner, usually staying until he fell asleep on the couch. I tried not to think of who would tell the Volturi about me, who wanted me gone so badly that they would go to the most extreme. But, I knew that only the vampires knew about Italy and the tiny city there. I tried to distract myself because I couldn't face the one question that burned in me like a flame.

Which vampire wanted me to die?