"Forks library, Bella speaking."

"Bella, I've been thinking," Alice said in her beautiful voice. I perked up, and my chair creaked slightly.

"You know, that's never good," I joked, waiting for her laughter to filter through the receiver.

"I think you should come visit us." I was quiet for a moment. The library was empty besides two older women on the computers in the back, and the air was still. Edward, after storming out, still hadn't come back, three days later, and I was alone. I felt an uncomfortable feeling seep into my toes.

"Alice, I don't think that's such a good idea." She huffed loudly.

"Oh, come on. Jake will be fine without you for a weekend." I bit my lip.

"It has nothing to do with him," I said, annoyed.

"So what is it then?"

"It's nothing," I lied, turning to smile and wave at a mother with two toddler-aged boys walking through the door.

"Lying was never your strong point." I sighed. I knew she would get it out of me eventually.

"Well, isn't everyone..." I trailed off, but Alice waited. I sighed again. "Aren't they all mad at me?" She was quiet for a moment.

"Mad at you?" she repeated, like the words were a foreign concept to her. "Why on earth would anyone be mad at you?"

"Because I ruined everything!" I cried, too loudly, into the phone. I huddled over the receiver, keeping my voice low. "I was the reason that you all had to move again. I know Carlisle was happy that I chose not to turn, but everyone else must hate me." Alice tsked a few times, and I tightened my grip on the phone. I glanced over my counter and thankfully saw no one staring.

"No one is the slightest bit angry with you," she replied easily, like she was talking to a child. "I'm really the only one who doesn't like our new town, but I have no negative feelings towards you for that. They all know what it would've meant to give up your life, and I don't think any of them is angry that you chose to live a normal life." I hadn't thought of it that way, but she was right. Each of them understood what it meant to be a vampire, and I was ready to willingly sacrifice my human life for something that they didn't choose. Rosalie had even voted against me becoming one of them because of the implications of a vampire life.

"So they aren't mad?"

"Not at all. Esme keeps asking about you, actually. She wonders about how you're doing." I thought of Esme's beautiful face, her motherly smile, and felt a pang of longing.

"My truck could never make it cross-country like your little Porsche can," I said, almost glumly. I was warming up to the idea of seeing everyone again, but I knew it could never happen.

"I would never expect you to drive here." She sounded amused. "You'll fly. The airport isn't too far from town."

"I could never afford a plane ticket."

"Think of it as a late birthday present." I thought back to my nineteenth birthday, almost forgotten in my routine haze of trying to distract myself from the Volturi. It had been a small event, a dinner at Charlie's with Billy, Jake, Emily, and Alice. Alice had ordered some fancy catering from Port Angeles, and the food had been delicious, Jake eating most of it himself. We had all spent the day in Charlie's living room, talking over each other in bubbles of conversation. Charlie gave me a beautiful silver open book charm for my bracelet, and I hung it besides Jake's wooden wolf carving gladly. Billy and Emily gave me a present from the pack, a framed picture of a photo I had forgotten had been taken of everyone, including me and all of the other wolf girls, standing on the cliff in La Push; I was smiling with Jake's arms around me, Quil was tossing Claire up in the air in a tiny blur, and Paul was scowling as usual. I had almost cried at that, and I hung it immediately where I would see it every day. Alice, surprisingly enough, had given me nothing, saying that my present was coming later. I guessed, now, it was later.

"That's so expensive," I said, my eyebrows softening at the memory of my birthday. "I'm sure I could just call them and save you the money."

"Don't worry about the money. Just say you'll come." I thought for a moment and remembered that I had accrued a few vacation days from work. I could have Charlie watch over my tiny house, and Jake would be all right without me.

"I'd love to come." She made a noise that I could only call a squeal and laughed like a song.

"I already asked your boss if you could take off tomorrow and Monday," she said, her voice gaining speed as her excitement grew. "Your plane leaves tomorrow morning pretty early, so hopefully Jake or Charlie can drive you to Seattle. You'll be back Monday night, so just pack for a few warm outfits since it's pretty cold here."

"I can't wait, Alice," I said, smiling. I could feel her joy through the phone.

"Call me when you're taking off! I'll meet you at the airport!" There was a click, and then she was gone. I sat back in my chair, smiling.

Jake wasn't happy.

"Why do you have to leave?" he demanded, his arms crossed, his eyes hard. I stared at the floor of his garage. We had been settled around his tools, using upturned buckets for chairs, while he did homework and I read.

"It's my birthday present," I said quietly. I didn't like seeing him so angry with me. "And I haven't seen them in so long."

"Tell them to come here, then," he spat out. He was pacing back and forth, staring down at me.

"Jake, please don't be mad. I just miss them."

"Then call them. You'll feel better and you don't have to go anywhere."

"Just stop, okay?" My sudden anger surprised me. I shot up from my chair and glared up at him with my hands balled into tiny fists. He raised his eyebrows, surprised too. "I thought all of this was over. I thought you'd moved past this weird feud or whatever it is. I get that you might not love them like family, but I do, and I really-" Jake's arms were around me in a blur, crushing me to him. I gasped in a gulp of air and felt my feet leave the ground. He buried his face in my hair.

"Honey, I don't hate them," he whispered. He loosened his grip enough for me to breathe, but he didn't let me go. "I'm just worried about you."

"Worried?" He hesitated.

"I know we don't talk about it anymore, but you're going to-" His voice cut off with a tiny pained noise. "I just don't want anything to happen to you." I leaned into his chest, kissing him through his thin shirt.

"I'll be okay, I promise," I mumbled. "Alice will be able to see me once I'm on the plane. She'll watch out for me." He kissed the top of my head and set me down gently. He unraveled his arms from around me and grabbed my hand.

"Let me drive you to the airport," he said with a tiny smile. "I'll miss you enough without getting a cheesy airport goodbye." I held back a laugh and rocked up on my toes to kiss him.

"Sure, sure," I said easily, and he made a face before leaning down to kiss me again.

My first-class seat was comfortable and roomy as I settled in for the long flight from Seattle to New York City. I had brought a few well-worn novels with me, but with the large television in the back of the seat in front of me, I knew I wouldn't need them. The flight attendant made one last round through the cabin before pushing behind the curtain towards the cockpit. I had already called Alice from the security checkpoint, who hadn't warned me that my ticket wasn't for the regular seats. I told myself again that I would argue with her later.

Jake had been more talkative than usual on the long drive to Seattle, the majority of which was dark; I cursed Alice under my breath for booking such an early flight. He babbled about school, about how tired he was of sitting through meaningless classes when he felt like an adult already. I kept reminding him how young he was, technically, but he didn't listen. He knew he would be able to convince the elders to allow him to graduate early, so it was just a matter of waiting for their approval.

The goodbye was harder than I'd thought it would be. On top of the sadness I felt at leaving, I felt an emptiness in my chest, the same emptiness that I felt whenever Jake was away but magnified, beginning to grow in me. I wouldn't just be a few miles away; there would be an entire country separating us. I was already feeling the gripping fingers of hollowness, the snaking tendrils of cold, knowing that my sun would be so far away. He held me for a solid five minutes, our embrace silent. He kissed me, grabbing my hand and squeezing it one last time, before I walked through security, staring back at him with his hands in his pockets and his face pained. I waved once more before stepping through the scanner to the other side.

Thankfully, I was able to fall asleep on the flight, and it went by quickly. I rushed to my connecting flight to Maine, again in first class, and tried to ignore the echoing cavernous feeling in my chest. As the plane descended, though, and I saw the beautiful landscape below me, I felt a thrill of excitement. I didn't travel, and this was a rare vacation that didn't involve a threat of anyone dying. I had never been to the east coast north of Florida, and I knew that Alice would be there. And she was, her tiny figure standing lithely in waiting, her outfit covering almost every bit of exposed skin to avoid the sun, a dazzling smile spreading across her face. She danced to me and swept me up in a hug, her laughter bouncing around me like tiny sparks of light.

"Alice, you didn't tell me the tickets were first class!" I started, but she just grinned as she snaked an arm around my waist. We walked together down to the parking garage, and she peppered me with questions the entire way about things in Forks. She wanted to know everything about the library, and when I let it slip that I spent Halloween out trick-or-treating, she latched on, wanting every detail. She had brought a more reserved vehicle, a sleek black car that I didn't recognize, but she drove as fast as always, weaving in and out of traffic expertly.

"It's such a relief to be able to see you again!" she said finally after I finished telling her as much as I could about Halloween. "It's been so stressful having you out of my head for so long."

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to avoid staring at the speedometer.

"I can finally see you again," she said, her tone chipper. My mouth fell open widely.

"You can see me?" I almost shouted, turning in my seat to face her. She raised an eyebrow at me, and I sat back in my seat.

"I can see you for the next few days. As soon as you left Jacob at the airport, you suddenly just popped into my head. It almost knocked me off my feet, Bella! You were there on the plane, putting away your bag in the overhead. It was amazing."

"What else did you see?" My curiosity was running wild, stampeding through the barrier of my careful composure.

"A few things from this weekend," she replied. "Your reaction to the house, how happy you are to see everyone again. It's a few little things. And, of course, having you sitting here now is making it much clearer."

"Can you see anything..." I trailed off, trying not to think about the possibilities. She bit her lip gingerly.

"You disappear after this weekend," she said quietly. "I can see you on the plane to Seattle, but as soon as you step off, you're gone again." I sat thinking for a moment.

"So now that Jake is gone for a few days, you can see me?"

"Exactly. I believe it's because I can be sure of your choices here, around us. When you go back to Jacob, he hides you again."

"Why do you think you can't see me even when I'm not with Jake back in Forks?" I asked, trying to understand. "I'm not with him now and you can see me again. And last year, you could only stop seeing me when I went over to La Push."

"Last year, you were still with Edward," she pointed out.

"But even now, there's still times when I'm not around Jake. Do you ever see me, even for just a second?"

"I haven't seen you since the day you told Edward that you'd picked Jacob," she said thoughtfully. "I think it might be because, even through the small absences, you always decide to be with him. It was different before because you'd only spend a few hours with him at a time. When you left La Push, you really didn't have any concrete decisions to go back, most of the time at least. It was all about making the big decision to be with Edward. And when you suddenly decided to stay with Jacob, it all just disappeared."

"Are you upset that I'm gone?"

"Of course I am," she said quickly, her nose wrinkling. "It's very difficult to have you be invisible. It's like when you jumped off the cliff and then your...channel, of sorts, just cut out. And now, I have to worry about you getting hurt all the time. I'm getting more used to it, but it's still strange."

"Do you still look for me?" She thought for a moment.

"It's a pretty constant thing," she replied slowly. "It's like I can't not look for you. I always search for even the tiniest glimpse, but I still find nothing." I sat back, lost in thought, and we were quiet for the rest of the drive.

The scenery was beautiful. Maine in fall was a collection of reds and yellows and oranges, a wondrous mix of colors and textures. The trees gave way to coastline, and the water was lighter than the Pacific, calmer. I stared out of my window, intrigued by the new sights of the coast that faded into a small fishing town, full of docks and tiny stores and screaming seagulls. Alice drove on, just past the town, to a huge house with an enormous yard and a private beach hidden amongst large old trees. The house was old in the style of the New England states, with beautiful whites and blues to accent the numerous glistening windows. I was speechless, admiring the house with awe. Alice beside me laughed lightly, and I turned to her, grinning.

"It's perfect," I said, and she smiled back.

"Esme picked it out," she said proudly. "You can tell her what you think in just a moment." We pulled up around the side of the house and parked outside of the large add-on garage, and I stepped out excitedly, wanting to see the inside. I took a deep breath and smelled the sharp twang of salt water and sea air. Alice flitted around to the trunk and grabbed my bag for me, motioning me towards the front door. I walked around to the front and felt a surge of joy when I saw Carlisle standing on the massive front porch, his arms crossed lightly, his face pulled up in a smile. He wasn't covered like Alice, and his skin danced with glittering sparks of light in the sun beams. I recovered myself from the shock of seeing his diamond skin and ran over to him, wrapping my arms around him, surprising myself. He laughed and hugged me back.

"It's wonderful to see you, Bella," he said brightly, looking down at me like he missed me, too. "I'm so glad you could come."

"I'm just sorry it took me so long to get out here," I replied, my smile permanently plastered on my face. I was so happy. He motioned me to the open door, and I stepped inside, taking in the beautiful entryway, the high ceilings, the ocean-themed paintings that took up large portions of wall space. I was enthralled until I heard a tiny sound, and my eyes floated down towards the back of the room where Esme stood, her hair flowing around her, looking as though she wanted to cry. She held her arms open and met me in the middle of the room, embracing me so lovingly that I almost started tearing up.

"My wonderful Bella," she whispered, her voice heavy with emotion. "How I've missed you." I hadn't realized how much I'd missed her until I saw her again, but it filled me with a fierce attack of guilt that I hadn't once called her.

"It's so great to see you again," I said thickly. She touched her fingers to my cheek, and I felt my smile grow.

"Please, you can make yourself at home here," she said with sparkling eyes. "I understand that your life has continued on in a different path, but we still think of you as family."

"Thank you, Esme," I said, touched. Alice danced up next to me, threading her arm around mine. Esme nodded at her and glided away through a large entryway off to the side. Alice shook me slightly.

"Let's get you set up in your room, and then we can go find everyone else," she sang, dragging me up the huge stairs to the next floor. The antique feel of the entryway carried through to the second floor, but inside the bedrooms were modern furnishings and decorations. Alice showed me into a guest bedroom, and I gasped. The bed was huge and beautiful, pushed up against one wall opposite a set of dressers that had to be hundreds of years old. The far wall was a huge window that overlooked the ocean beyond their yard. I was speechless, taking it all in.

"Esme thought you'd want the best room in the house," Alice said proudly. I shook my head in amazement.

"It's fantastic," I said softly, taking it in. Alice laughed, tugging me back downstairs. We walked through the house, and I admired each decoration and furnishing with awe, loving the way that everything matched the old charm of the house. We saw Esme and Carlisle again in the kitchen, where Esme was making me lunch. Alice continued to lead me around, explaining each décor decision and going on and on about how nice it was to have a human around to admire things. We went out to the private beach and sat together in a set of beautiful outdoor furniture right in the sand.

"I'm so glad I came," I said after a moment. I couldn't take my eyes off the view.

"Everyone's going to be so happy to see you," Alice gushed, her hands sparkling without her gloves. "Even Rosalie is looking forward to seeing you."

"Rosalie?" I asked, turning to look at Alice. She shrugged.

"She's proud of you," she replied easily. "You chose to live. You know she never wanted you to be one of us willingly. She's really happy that you're still human."

"What about Emmett?"

"He's just so blasé about everything, you know him. I don't think he cared either way. And, like Esme said, we all still think of you as family, albeit extended family at this point." I laughed with her and turned back to face the water.

"You said they love it here," I said after a moment. "You don't like it, though."

"It's difficult to hide who we are here. It's much easier in the winter, when we have an excuse for covering ourselves. The summer was difficult, though. We had to stay inside the house almost every day."

"Haven't you lived anywhere sunny before?"

"We have, but I guess I allowed myself to grow accustomed to Washington's gloom. It's difficult to readjust to the sun."

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, feeling the guilt of their departure tangle in my stomach again. Alice shook her head sharply and pursed her lips at me in annoyance.

"Bella, don't you blame yourself for us moving," she admonished. "I've told you that a hundred times. We moved because it was time to go, and you know that." I tried to believe her. She curled her legs up under her in her chair and sighed at me. I smiled at her again, and she reached for my hand. I felt like I had come home.

The weekend blurred by in a flash of wonderful joy. Alice kept me constantly busy: we went out on a sailing boat that Jasper bought Alice as a present; we spent time talking on their private beach; we went into town at night and explored the tiny shops and stores; we spent time with Carlisle and Esme in the house; we went out with Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie, who were all ecstatic to have a human back in their lives. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed keeping busy and spending time with the people who I had thought were furious with me.

I missed Jake. I tried not to text him every second of the day, because my dependence on my phone annoyed Alice. I called him each night before bed, though, reveling in the sound of his voice over the static of distance. I tried to throw myself entirely into Alice's plans, to ignore the pull of longing for Jake, but it was difficult. I still snuck glances at my phone throughout the day, ignoring Alice's disapproving huffs and sighs.

I was so happy, away from the fear of the Volturi, the stress of Jake's pain, the threat of Edward's anger. I slept better than I had in months, the sunlight of Maine waking me up in the morning, refreshed and ready for a new day. I ate wonderfully prepared meals from Esme's immaculate kitchen and felt full constantly. I basked in my joy, in the distraction from the fear that loomed around me in Forks.

Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper were glad to have me. I enjoyed spending time with them again, feeling like friends rather than awkward relatives. Esme and I talked over each meal for hours, and I told her everything about living on my own. Carlisle was the hardest to be around, though I didn't understand why. He had been the only one to openly admit that he was glad I hadn't settled into his family, and I felt that I should be happy to have had his blessing to be with Jake. But, I found myself uneasy around him, as if maybe he'd changed his mind after seeing the pain I'd caused his son. I knew I was wrong, but it was a tough feeling to shake. I avoided spending any time with him alone for the entire weekend, still wondering.

My departing flight was scheduled for Monday afternoon, and on Monday morning, Alice took me out alone to a small breakfast restaurant in town, the sky thankfully cloudy and dull. We sat at a small table in the corner, watching people come and go on their way to work. I ordered a full spread of eggs and waffles and hash browns, while Alice ordered a muffin to keep up appearances. I laughed as she picked at the muffin with her fingertips, depositing the crumbs back onto her plate in minor disgust. My food was delicious, and I ate every bite.

"I really like it here," I said as we sat around the table, the plates cleared.

"It's getting better," Alice admitted. I laughed at the sour expression on her face.

"Once you get used to it, you'll learn to love it."

"I'll agree with you on that."

"It was great to see everyone again, too. Thank you for getting me out here, really." Alice smiled up at me.

"I'm so glad you had fun. I was worried that seeing us all would make you sad." I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

"Why would I be sad?"

"Because we're the family you had to leave," she explained quietly. I laced my fingers in my lap. "I thought you might be upset, seeing us all again."

"That's not the case, I promise." A tiny smile broke across her solemn face. "I'm not sad. Well, I am, but only because it took me so long to come out and visit. I wish I'd been here during the summer when we could have gone swimming."

"I'll keep that in mind for next year," she said, beaming. It only took a moment for her words to sink in, and I felt my face drop. Alice immediately clamped a hand over her mouth and reached a hand out to me.

"Bella, there's nothing to worry about," she said in a rush. "You'll be fine. Everything will be okay. I know I can see what happens and I'll be able to stop it. Don't worry, please." I held up a finger, and she sputtered to a halt, her mouth still open.

"I'm fine," I said with a thick voice. "I don't want to think about it anymore." She watched me with shamefaced eyes until I smiled, trying to distract her.

"So how's your favorite pouty brother?" I asked, changing the subject. She raised an eyebrow. "Edward," I clarified. She rolled her eyes and exhaled loudly, clearly annoyed.

"He's so difficult," she said angrily. "I haven't heard from him in days. I can see him wandering around in the Midwest, but he won't answer my calls. I wish he would just tell me what happened. I thought things were fine, especially when he got that job at the library with you."

"I think it was something I said," I huffed, taking a sip of my orange juice.

"Did something happen?"

"Well, I guess so. He went to Denali for Halloween, you know, and when he came back, he was suddenly angry with me. We hadn't talked about our...break-up, I guess, since it happened, and he brought it up."

"What did he say?"

"He mentioned Tanya again, so I said he should at least see what it was like to be with her. And he flipped on me. He said I was being ridiculous, that he didn't want anyone else. And then he stormed off." Alice's eyes glazed over slightly, and I finished off my juice.

"He'll come around," she said finally, smiling at me. "It took me some time to understand, but here we are, perfectly fine."

"I know," I said, smiling back.

"Let's get going," she said, waving the waitress over for the check. "You'll miss your flight."

Jake was waiting for me in Seattle, and I saw him immediately; he was impossible to miss, standing almost two feet above everyone else, his eyes searching the crowd funneling out of the terminal for me. When we locked eyes, my heart leaped and pushed me towards him, speeding up my walk to a run as I reached for him. He caught me as I barreled into him, his arms a vice grip around my waist, and he picked me up and spun me around, laughing. His hot skin against mine was wonderfully comforting, and I breathed in his outdoors-y scent greedily.

"You stink," he said, laughing. I made a face and smacked him on the arm.

"You're an ass," I said back, his laughter contagious. He set me down on my feet and held me away from him slightly, staring at me. I was lost, the airport falling away as I rememorized his face. He reached a hand up and cradled my cheek, and I leaned into his palm, closing my eyes.

"You have no idea how much I missed you," he whispered. I opened my eyes again to stare at him again, focusing only on his beautiful face.

"I think I can imagine." He grinned. I felt his fingers run down my face like lightning bolts and he bent down to me, his lips meeting mine with a relief that mirrored mine. I kissed him back, curving to him, and drank him in, my mind clouding and my balance wavering as we reconnected, complete again.