Author's Note: The cover art used for this fic was drawn by Florallover. Thanks, Floral!

Hollow Smiles

It was cloudy that night.

Shira was in the middle of preparing dinner when the doorbell rang. She hurried from the kitchen to the entrance, opening the door to reveal Rin and Sakura. That was a little surprising, since the sisters had arrived earlier than expected, but the redhead hardly gave it any thought as she allowed them into the estate.

"Don't worry about it," Shira said after Sakura asked about helping her with the cooking. "I've already got everything on the stove."

Sakura opened her mouth to ask another question, but had only spoken a few words before she, Rin, and Shira made it to the dining room.

"Oh. I see you've already set the table, too," the violet-haired girl commented.

Indeed, the dining room table was all set up for dinner. There was one place for each person, complete with placemats, plates, bowls, chopsticks, silverware, and napkins. To an outside observer, the sight of a table ready for an upcoming meal was a perfectly ordinary one.

But it escaped neither Rin's nor Sakura's notice that Shira had set the table for six, not five.

The younger sister bit her lower lip in worry, while the older sister merely frowned, her expression unreadable.

"Dinner will be ready soon," Shira said presently, her voice cheerful and her smile pleasant as she walked over to the cabinets in the kitchen. "You guys go ahead and sit down; I'll get the drinks."

Without waiting for a reply, she opened a cabinet, got out half a dozen glasses, and set them on the counter, then proceeded to open the refrigerator to retrieve the pitcher full of tea.

"Do you plan on feeding an army tonight, Shira?" Rin asked dryly.

Shira's grip on the pitcher tightened ever so slightly as she poured tea into the third glass. Even so, her smile stayed in place as she turned to see that Rin was standing in front of the stove and eyeing the three huge pots containing rice, soup, and noodles respectively.

"Well, you know how Fuji-nee's appetite is." The redhead laughed a bit, and it sounded a little too shrill, a little too forced. "Look on the bright side—we might actually end up having leftovers!"

"Um, Senpai?" Sakura, who was still standing before the table, spoke in a hesitant, cautious tone. "You've...set an extra place."

No, I didn't, was Shira's automatic thought, and she was about to say as much when her gaze darted to the number of places on the table. She counted one, two, three, four, five—

Six. There were places for six people to have dinner...but one seat would be vacant.

The redhead felt her throat constricting. "...Oh." She laughed again, sounding even more forced than before. "So I have."

"Senpai," Sakura began, walking to where Shira stood by the counter, her voice quiet and not intending to wound, "you're still thinking about Saber, aren't you?"

"Of course I'm not; what gave you that idea?" Shira's bright smile remained plastered onto her face as she returned her attention to pouring tea. "Now, would either of you like sugar?"

"Senpai," Sakura repeated anxiously, "it's okay to miss him."

Shira's brown eyes switched back to her younger friend, and she was about to say that she didn't miss Saber at all and that Sakura was worrying over nothing when Rin's voice cut in.

"Stop with the pussyfooting around, Sakura," the black-haired girl said bluntly, crossing her arms over her chest and looking at Shira with a steely expression. "Shira, face it—Saber's not coming back. He disappeared at Ryudou Temple after the Grail was destroyed. He's gone."

"Nee-san—" Sakura started to say. There was no confusion in her voice (as Shira would have expected if Rin had started talking about something related to the Grail War just a few weeks ago), only the urge to get her sister to stop talking.

But Rin ignored her, still staring at Shira, whose smile was slowly starting to crack. "Saber's gone, Shira. It doesn't matter how much food you make or how many times you set an extra place at the table, because he won't be here."

"Tohsaka—" Shira's voice had become strained as she struggled to maintain the ever so hollow smile.

"Don't try saying you're fine—you're not," Rin snapped, and if there was even the smallest tinge of concern in her voice, it was drowned out by anger. "I get that you really liked Saber, but he's gone. The sooner you accept that, the better off you'll—"

"Tohsaka, will you just shut the hell up?" Shira was no longer trying to smile; her cheery façade had broken completely, leaving only a glare on her face and a burning sensation beneath her eyes.

"Senpai!" Sakura exclaimed.

Again, however, the younger girl was ignored. "Maybe you got over your Servant's death in less than two hours," Shira continued hotly, "but not all of us can do that."

Rin, who was momentarily caught off guard by Shira's interruption, now looked nettled. "I was just saying—"

"You don't know anything, all right?" The burning in the redhead's eyes was becoming more noticeable, but she began blinking rapidly to keep it at bay. "You—you weren't there, you didn't see Saber disappear, you didn't have him holding your hand up until the moment he faded away—"

Shira abruptly stopped; her voice now sounded choked with the tears she was still forcing back. She looked down and squeezed her eyes shut. I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry.

"Senpai?" Sakura's voice was tentative; Shira imagined her reaching out to place a hand on her shoulder.

But at that moment, Shira opened her eyes and looked back up, striding over to the door without a glance at either Sakura or Rin.

"Where are you going?" Rin wanted to know.

"Out; I'm not hungry anymore," Shira answered, thankful that her tone was more curt than anything else. "Tell Fuji-nee and Ilya that I'm not feeling too well when they get here."

And with that, Shira exited the room, went down the hall, and left the estate. Her legs carried her quickly across the roads and streets of town, though she wasn't sure when she had started picking up speed. Eventually, she arrived at the Fuyuki Bridge and walked to the railing, staring without really seeing the river's waters below.

Yes, Shira knew Saber was gone. She knew he wasn't coming back. And she damn well didn't need anyone—least of all Rin—to tell her that. Did the older girl think that Shira was burying her head in the sand? Pretending that Saber was still alive? Well, she wasn't. If it seemed to her friends that she was going out of her way to act normally, it was because it was the only thing she could think of to keep from going insane.

So what if acting like nothing was bothering her resulted in her sometimes forgetting that Saber wasn't there? So what if she occasionally prepared a meal and realized too late that there was too much food and too many places at the table (for the third time in a row)?

It was either that or let herself waste away pining after her former Servant. And if Shira did that, she might as well be spitting on Saber's grave.

"You—you weren't there, you didn't see Saber disappear, you didn't have him holding your hand up until the moment he faded away—"

Shira gripped the railing tightly, clenching her teeth as the memory of Saber kissing her hand appeared in her head, followed by the instant his touch vanished and she knew he was gone for good.

Her eyes burned again.

I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry. I'm not gonna cry.

The clouds parted, revealing the moon in the sky.

Shira took one look at the river now shining with moonlight—then suddenly drew a hand back and curled it into a fist. With a strangled cry, she punched the metal railing as hard as she could.

She only got bruised knuckles for her trouble.