**** okay, scour as I might, I could find no reference for a last name for my beloved Pam anywhere so I was forced to create one for her. I looked for the most proper sounding English name that tickled my fancy and went with it. Forgive me for my little indulgence. - PleasantlyWeird

Chapter 68

The Bad Thing About Falling In Love Is Scraping Your Knees

Pam's POV is in italics, Quinn's POV is in bold, Conversation is in normal print. It worked last time so I hope it flows as well this time.

This is really really, annoyingly awkward. I'm at a loss as to what to do or say. He's told me that he loves me and I think he wants me to reciprocate. Even though I do, I can't fucking bring myself to say it. What the hell is every vamp I know going to say? Pam Holberry, pledging herself to anyone, let alone a weretiger? I would suffer less ridicule by bonding to a human. At least Northman had set a precedent for that.

What the hell is she waiting for? Say something, anything! But for the love of god, don't stand there with that I just smelled a fart look on your face! She's thinking too hard about this. I mean, obviously she doesn't feel the same way as me. If she'll just say that, I can handle it. It doesn't mean that I can't make her change her mind. What I can't stand is this weirdness.

"So, Quinn. I think I'm gonna go to use your powder room to get myself straightened up. I'll be right back."

I bet she bolts out the front door. I bet she runs, vampire style, to that Mercedes and never looks back. How 'bout it Quinn? Think you could have fucked this up any worse?

"Sure, babe. Sure thing, I'll be here waiting for you." And I mean that, I'll wait for you, but don't expect me to wait silently. I plan on pursuing you, blood sucker, until you agree to be mine. I know my match when I see her and you are her. Why the fuck can't I just say this out loud? It's not like I haven't already put myself out there by proclaiming my love.

Jesus, I need to call Sookie. She's the only person I know that won't laugh or judge me for this fucked up shit. She'll tell me straight what I should do. I can trust her, as long as she can keep this shit from Northman. Okay, I'm in the bathroom, I don't think he can hear me in here. Please, let her answer her phone. It rings and rings. No such fucking luck. I know Eric is with her and if I weren't so desperate to not fuck this thing up, I would never try to reach her through him. SHIT! I hit the speed dial programmed with his number. He answers on the first ring.

"Tala till jag." (speak to me) He sounded distracted.

"Master, it's imperative that I speak to Sookie if it's alright with you." That got his attention.

"Is there something wrong? Have you found something out that threatens Sookie's safety?"

"No Master. Nothing like that. I could not raise her on her own phone. I would not call if it were not important."

"What is important that you can't speak with me about it?"

" This is of a female nature." And now he's deterred from asking anymore questions. He can't handle the female things.

"At the moment, she's destroying a human that she found guilty of murdering one of our kind, and doing a most arousingly beautiful job I might add. It's a shame that you can't be here to appreciate the work she's doing. I'm most proud of her." When I don't comment, he continues. I can hear the rustling of leaves and the rush of air. I know he probably had assumed a birds-eye view in a tree to witness her first kill. Leave it to Sookie to find a way to redeem herself in killing only guilty and wicked humans. "It appears that she has finished feeding now. I'll allow you to speak." I hear him press the phone to his chest and I hear the hum of his voice as he relays to her that it is me and that he will dispose of the remains while she and I speak.

"Pam, is everything all right?" Her voice is sluggish and her voice thick with the blood she's just consumed. I'm with Eric in wishing I could have been there to see it.

"No, everything is NOT fucking alright and I need your advice."

"Shoot."

"First of all, not a word of this to the Viking. I am trusting you implicitly to keep what you are about to hear in your strictest of confidences."

"Absolutely, Pam."

"Okay," I steel myself and then let it start. "I am at Quinn's house. He and I have spent a lot of time together since New Orleans, finishing something that we started in New Orleans. To put it frankly, we have been fucking like rabid weasels."

"And?"

"He told me just a few moments ago that he loved me."

"And?"

"What do you mean, 'and'? What do I do?"

"Well, first, let me ask you something. How do you feel about him? And be honest with me Pam. Lying to me isn't going to help me to help you."

ARRRRRRGGGHHH! I scream inside of my head. I should have known the perceptive little human would be inside my head enough to ask something I didn't want to answer.

"Yes, Sookie, I do love him as well." There, I said it.

"So what the hell is the problem exactly? Just tell him you love him too!"

"I don't know how! Sookie, I have NEVER uttered those words in either of my existences. Not to anyone! Not even to my mother or my father!"

"You just say them. Just open your mouth and say them Pam, because you'll feel so much better when you do. Don't be scared to feel it for him. Love is the most liberating feeling once you feel it in return."

"What will everyone think of a vampire being mated to a weretiger?"

"Who the fuck cares what everyone else thinks, Pam? Don't you think I suffered when I started dating Bill and believe you me, it got worse once Eric started pursuing me as well. I heard what my brother thought of me before I glamored him and I heard what people have thought since I turned. I don't care though because what I feel for Eric is worth so much more."

She's right, I know she is. I'm terrified to feel, terrified to open myself up to Quinn and let him know of my feelings for him.

"Pam, do you trust me?"

"As much as I can personally trust anyone besides my maker."

"Good, because I'm about to do something to help you do what will be truly best for you. Do I have your permission to do this thing?"

What the hell is she talking about? Who cares, what the hell do I have to lose?

"Yes, Sookie. I give you permission."

"I wish that Pam would trust her heart and emotions to do what is truly best for her, whether that is revealing her feelings for Quinn or keeping them to herself."

I hear her hang up the phone and I feel this weird elation take over me. I know exactly what I'm going to do beyond a shadow of a doubt.

I hear Pam in the bathroom. She's talking to someone and I don't like the frantic tone I can hear in her voice. I can't discern the words themselves but she sounds desperate. I hope I'm not the one who put that sound in her voice but I know I must be. Who is she talking to? I can only assume it's Northman or Sookie. I pray it's the telepath. Northman would advise her to run, Sookie may be on my side in this instance.

I hear the door to the bathroom open and I leap to the bed and do my best to look nonchalant. It wouldn't do to have her know that I was being nosy. I expect her to come back to the bedroom but I hear her descend the stairs instead. She's leaving. Goddamn it! That fucking sucks man. I'm so fucking stupid, it was too much too soon and so unlike me to begin with. I really feel like I might start crying like a fucking pussy. I can't help it, I jump and yelp when she pokes her head in the door and asks if she can come in.

"Yeah, sure. Like you need to ask. Listen babe, I'm sorry if I..."

I blur to his side and put a finger to his lips. He has no need to say anything but I feel like I have much to tell him.

"Quinn, be silent." I wait for his assenting nod and then continue. "In the time I was born, displays of emotion were frowned upon. As I child raised by nannies with very wealthy and emotionally detached parents, I was never told or said 'I love you'. I do believe that's why I was rather promiscuous towards the end of my human life and why I made an excellent vampire from the start. Love has never held any meaning to me. Until now." I wait for the words to sink in. He's smart and picks up on it immediately, holding his tongue.

"I have feelings for you that I have never experienced in all my time as a conscious being, human or vamp. I feel scared, elated and confused by them. That is how I know that I love you, Quinn. I have never let anyone dominate me the way I have let you. That is how I know I love you, Quinn. So tell me again, tell me so we can do this right."

"I love you Pam."

"I love you too, Quinn."

Jesus Harold Christ! She loves me! I feel like I could do a thousand back flips with all the energy that hearing her say those words has given me.

"Babe, may I please take you out to procure some True Blood and a steak for myself? I feel like celebrating and showing you off. Have you ever ridden in a Vauxhall SRV?"

"Yes you may take me out for some food and to show me off and I've never even heard of a Vauxhall SRV."

"It's a concept car from the early seventies. Never went to production but I have one of the three made."

"Perhaps you should get dressed before we go? You may NOT show off what is mine now. We vampires are a jealous lot."

How lucky am I? How fucking lucky am I? I can't believe my luck!

Let's see how badly he wants to show me off after this. I have my own little test for my potential mate. I slip the extremely large fake cucumber that I found in the arrangement in his kitchen from behind my back and ready myself for the moment when he bends down to retrieve his pants. I coat the thing with the lube he had left lying on the floor while he rambles on and on about things. Five, four, three, two..........

"Say babe, have you ever been to .. YEEEOOOOOOWWWWTCHHHH!"