Chapter 6

She hadn't slept.

Beth dragged the wolves' bodies one at a time away from the camp they had made, taking them as deep into the woods as she dared go in the darkness that only seemed to get darker. She wasn't entirely sure why, but she even stayed to cover them with fallen tree limbs and leaves. She wondered if she would have buried them if she had had a shovel as she made her way back to the burning fire at their resting point. It wasn't really a camp, just a fire and a stack of supplies. And a thick puddle of blood.

Beth went through the bags at first, distracting herself and doing whatever she could not to stare at the big red pool. She tossed most of what they had possessed, only keeping the meat jerky and the knives. The gun didn't have bullets. How about that. She bitterly tossed it to the side.

She readjusted her own bags twice before she realized they no longer distracted her from her thoughts let alone the puddle of their blood and the stain running down the tree. Beth moved slowly closer, staring at her red reflection, hearing too many ghosts in her head. She continued to step closer until she realized one more step and she'd be standing in it. She shook herself off and grabbed the rope up instead, rolling it up and tucking it in her bag.

She looked around for something else, anything to pull her from the darkness growing in her chest. Anything to pull her from the edge of that place she lost a little more of herself to each time she fell in. She tried to lose herself in her map, but realized she really didn't know where she was, just on the edge of Alexandria somewhere.

She found herself staring into the fire just to avoid staring at that damned puddle, watching the flames dance. She refused to sleep, knowing the Ghosts would be waiting there for her, too. She put a great deal of effort into keeping her mind blank, but she could feel herself slipping. She could feel that deep fissure inside her and she could feel its cold claws on her ankles, trying to drag her in. Her chest was getting tighter, the muscles in her neck were starting to feel tense and her eyes were burning. Beth was on the brink and desperate not to fall in, her nails unconsciously dug into her fresh cuts, the bandages starting to turn red at her fingertips.

"Bethy, why don't you sing?" her daddy's voice whispered to her from the fire, feeling like satin to her soul.

"Please, please don't," Dawn's voice responded, "Nobody wants to hear it!"

"Oh I dunno, might be kinda nice. Can't remember last time I heard any music"

Beth's eyes snapped up and connected to her camp intruder's eyes. He smirked at her and tilted his head, watching her as her bottom lip began to tremble. She clamped down on it between her teeth.

"Oh, Bethy, when are you going to accept your place in this world? When are you going to accept you are weak? Just stay in your grave, bitch!" Dawn shouted at her, shaking her head in disapproval while her shoulders shook with laughter.

"You stay in your fuckin' grave, Bitch!"

Beth shot to her feet, her chest heaving and eyes darting frantically around the fire, seeing nothing, seeing her ghosts, seeing that damned puddle of blood. She stormed over to it, pulling her knife from its sheath she shoved her sleeve up and ripped the bandage from her arm and dragged the blade deeply down her flesh again, and again, "Is this what you want? Does this make you happy? Make ya feel like justice is bein' served every time I fuckin' mutilate myself because'a you? Huh?" Beth pulled the blade down a third final time, her blood dripping into a slow steady pour down into the puddle. She watched the ripples it sent across her reflection and shuddered. She dipped down, her knife falling from her slackened grip. She pushed her hand into her reflected face, a broken sob falling out as she pushed the image of herself into the blood soaked mud. She brought her hand out of the puddle and watched herself in the ripples until they faded. Mutely, Beth brought her hand up to her face and drew a 'W' on her own forehead.

"Supposed to stand for weak?" Dawn inquired with a sting.

"Nah, she's a wolf. Wolves ain't weak. Wolves are Survivors. Killers. They whatever they need to be. Told her she a wolf." Dawn rolled her eyes at the ghost of the wolf and Beth tried to ignore both the dead bickering people in her head, but his words settled inside her and made her feel sick again. So, she pushed both hands into his blood and brought them both to her face, masking herself in the wolves' combined liquid essence. She lowered her hands and stared at her reflection until the sun joined her on the puddles surface.

She numbly looked down at her arm. Blinking at the blood that still dripped from her hand; much more slowly, but that was a bad sign. She had lost a significant amount of blood, so her pressure has dropped. Drastically. She didn't feel she had the strength to actually get up and walk, so Beth tucked her bleeding arm to her chest and scooted herself little by little to her bags. She slowly pulled out the suture kit and the supplies she would need to clean and dress it. She got to work, slowly and steady. Stitching it up hurt like hell, but she didn't flinch. The pain, she kept telling herself, was her proof that she was alive despite her quickly developing bad habits. She could tell by the damage she had already done to herself that she was only going to get worse, and she will need to talk to someone about it. She sighed, pouring some water over the freshly sewn cuts to get rid of the blood, then cushioned the cuts with gauze before wrapping it up.

Twigs started snapping in the woods beside Beth, sending the hairs on the back of her neck to attention. She turned to see some walkers moving through the trees, groaning in their search for their next meal. Mild panic erupted in Beth's gut as she reached anxiously for her crossbow. She whimpered and scooted closer to its resting place, the groans of the dead moving closer as well. She snatched the bow up and brought it forward swiftly, taking her aim, missing and hitting the walker in his hip. The force knocked it from its joint and the decayed body crumbled to the ground, crawling to advance on her. Beth reloaded as quickly as she could, struggling to pull it back into place. She finally heard the telling click and positioned the bolt, aiming and hitting her target between the eyes this time. She readied the bow again, taking even longer the second round, and managed to hit her second target spot on as well. But the last walker was too close for her to get the bow ready in time, and her knife was still by that godforsaken puddle of blood. Beth cried out when the walker tripped over her feet and landed on top of her, struggling against his slick rotten flesh to keep his snapping jaws from her own skin. Beth cried out, her arms trembling from the exertion of her quickly fading energy.

"Just stop fighting, Beth. You're not built for it." Dawn's voice bit out harshly.

Tears welled up in Beth's eyes, her chest tightening again as the wolves in her head began howling.

No one would miss her. Everyone she cares about already thinks she's dead. No one would mourn her because they already have. They still are. She could just drop her arms, she could just give up, and let him eat her flesh while she screams and cries and begs and draws more walkers from the woods to devour her alive.

And just as Beth's arms were starting to give out, just as she was preparing to let them fall and let the walker have its meal; the decayed body snapping its jaws at her vanished. She brought her knees to her heaving chest and then Beth collapsed to the side and watched the world go sideways through her blurred tunnel vision. Someone was pulling a knife from the skull of the walker that had been attacking her. They were slowly standing up and turning towards her. Beth took a slow inhale and let her eyes close. She exhaled and opened them again, the person was moving towards her now. Her eyes closed on their own accord and Beth had to fight to open them again. The feet were right in front of her now, but when she turned to look up at the person, the bright sky blinded her and she faded from consciousness.

"C'mon, hun, you gotta wake up. You need to eat something, get your body working to produce more blood so you can get stronger."

She heard him ramble on as he adjusted her against the tree into a more sitting position, she moaned in protest and could feel his smile.

"I know, but I made you some soup!"

Beth inhaled deeply through her nose and could smell the crisp autumn evening, the smoldering fire to her side, clean cotton clothes paired with aftershave, and chicken noodle soup. She opened her eyes to stare at her companion, who seemed over joyed at the sight of her own blue eyes. His hair was thick and curly, and his blue eyes warm with such empathy it hurt Beth to look at. She blinked and lowered her eyes, he was clean cut, shaven and pretty cuticles included. His clothes looked like they had been hot-ironed and starched and Beth thought she might be dead now. He held up the can of soup with a spoon in it, "Please eat, you look so pale and your lips are turning blue."

Her brows knit together, "Who the hell are you?"

"I'm sorry. My name is Aaron. I live in a community nearby. I was heading home earlier when I saw you struggling with that rotter."

Beth's eyes widen and she sat up higher, trying to get closer to him. He pushed back gently on her shoulder but she waved him away, "You live in Alexandria? You're in danger! We have to get to them, to your community!"

"What do you mean?" Aaron's voice dipped low, a menacing shadow falling over his face. He stood slowly, "What are we in danger from?"

"There are bad people out here, Aaron! Crazy men, they think they are pack of wolves or some shit, they're fallowing a group, a group you took in! Please, Aaron, this group is my family! Please! You are all in danger!" Beth was growing frantic, struggling to get up onto her own feet. Aaron reached out and steadied her, confusion growing more eminent on his face.

"Do you mean Rick and the others? Daryl?"

Beth's eyes snapped to Aaron's eyes so hard it nearly caused whiplash, "I need to warn them. I need to save my family."

Aaron swallowed thickly and nodded, concern and panic causing a blood vessel to throb at his neck. His mind was racing and Beth could tell he was scared, she could sympathize, she herself being downright terrified. Aaron ran his hand through his hair a few times, saying 'okay' a couple more times before fully turning back to face her.

"We will leave in the morning. It's too late in the evening to start now, and you need some serious rest. I can't support you the whole way, least of all carry you. If we come into trouble, one of us needs to be able to take care of it while the other takes care of themselves."

Beth started to protest but he put his hands up, "I mean it. You look dead on your feet, and you lost a lot of blood. You need rest, and to eat." He pointed back to the soup. Beth deflated and nodded, slowly lowering herself back to the ground. She picked up the can and began eating from it.

"I still don't know your name."

Beth swallowed the bit of soup in her mouth and looked up at Aaron over the fire, "Beth," she said simply, going back to her can of soup. She hadn't realized how hungry she was, but now that she's eating, she doesn't want to stop. She missed the shocked look that passed over Aaron's face before a soft, knowing smile took over.

The pair sat comfortably as could be, with both stressing over all the possible outcomes the next few days could have for them. Occasionally Beth would ask a question about Alexandria, or her family and how they have been, which would gain her some interesting looks and even more questioning responses. And Aaron would often ask one of his own questions, pertaining to the wolves and how she knows about what they have planned. She noticed the saddened look that came over him when she brought up Noah and Richmond. She swallowed tightly and looked to him, expecting some kind of declaration of death followed by an explanation but Aaron remained stoic and silent on the subject. Beth figured if there was a story, perhaps he felt it would be better to come from her family. It made her stomach twist up as she was revisited with thoughts of how they would embrace her return. Of how they would embrace Her.