Chapter 8

"I used to record these little interviews." The short woman said with a bit of remorse tinging her words, "I learned it doesn't really make a difference." She moved through the living room stiffly, like she no longer could find a way to fit herself into her own home. Beth could understand that feeling. The woman, Deanna, lowered herself onto the couch and closed her hands in her lap.

"I understand that you were a member, I apologize, you are a member, of Rick's group. Maggie's younger sister, correct?"

Beth nodded mutely. She didn't like that Aaron told her she would have to go through this 'interview' process before she could see her family. But he had promised to get all of them together for her, so she could surprise them. It helped, but knowing all the questions this woman was gearing up to throw at her, well it left her a wrecked ball of nerves and possible anxiety attacks that she was not willing to slip in to. But she stayed seated and patiently waited for Deanna to get warmed up.

"I want you to tell me everything, everything that you have been through, everything you have had to do. Everything that haunts you."

Beth swallowed, her eyes steadily falling to the floor. She knew where to start, but she also knew once she did start, there would be no stopping. She would become a derailed freight train. And it would be exactly what this woman wants to see, Beth could feel it in the scrutiny of the woman's eyes, on some small level Deanna just wanted to know she wasn't the only fucked up person wandering around now. This interview thing may have started out as something different, something pure, but those things always get tainted and stained. She knew that every time she faced her reflection. Beth sighed heavily and brought her eyes back up to the woman before her, and suddenly Beth saw it, the ghosts that haunt Deanna. She saw them in her eyes, the wrinkles surrounding them, and the tight line her mouth had become. Beth nodded slowly.

"My sister and I grew up on our Daddy's farm with my momma and our brother Shawn. Daddy was in denial, he thought there would be a cure. So when it all began, we collected our loved ones; our friends, neighbors, teachers, and even complete strangers. We rounded them up like cattle and kept them in the barn. Momma and Shawn too. Well there wasn't a cure, never will be. One day, after Rick's group had settled onto our land, Shane, someone who had lost themselves like the rest of us somewhere along the way, he opened up that barn. The ones with guns, they didn't have a choice, even with my family falling to pieces and begging them not to, they shot every walker that stumbled out." Beth lowered her eyes and pushed the emotions back down, sewing them into place in her heart and begging them to stay put. She chewed on her lip and tried to move around the lump in her throat, deciding to omit the part about her catatonic state.

"And then the Farm fell. We lost people. But we moved on, Rick leading the way. They were dark days for him, but he was dealing with ghosts, I get it now."

Beth paused at her own choice of words and almost laughed, yeah, she said to herself in mock mirth, I get it now. I get it all, now.

"Anyways, we found the prison. Cleared it out, built it up. Defended it, protected it, nearly lost everything over it. Daddy." Her throat tightened and the emotions in her heart exploded. She shook her head and cleared her throat, "He d-died there. A man, he wanted the prison. We wouldn't give it up, so he decided no one could have it and destroyed everything we had worked for there."

Beth wiped her hand down her face and leaned forward in her chair, resting her elbows on her knees. She lost herself in those dark and tormenting memories for a moment, reliving the sight of that brilliant blade sliding through his neck like butter. Beth flinched when Deanna softly called her name. She tried to shake some of the tension from her shoulders, closing her eyes and trying to find the will power to keep talking.

"After the prison, I was with Daryl. He taught me stuff, like how to track and lay traps, how to skin and cook my kill, how to move in the woods and not be seen or heard. He kept me alive and he didn't know it but he taught me how to keep myself alive in more ways than just basic survival. For weeks and weeks it was just the two of us, day and night. He taught me constellations and how to figure out where I was and where I wanted to go by mapping the stars. He showed me how to hotwire a car and taught me how to drive," she couldn't help it, a grin erupted over her softening features as she repeated words he had once said to her, "Gotta learn ta drive stick first, not gonna be a pussy 'bout which ride you can lift." She smiled down to the floor and bit her lip.

"Daryl means a lot to you, doesn't he?" Deanna asked, pulling Beth from her little spot of mental sunshine. Beth shrugged nonchalantly, and murmured something under her breath that Deanna didn't catch, but the older woman still smiled with her wisdom.

"My whole family means everything to me. They are all I have left, and I'm sorry, but I have crawled through Hell to get here. This interview be damned if you think you have the power to keep me from them, I'll play nice and I'll answer your questions, but after that, after this; You take me to my people."

Deanna's smile widened, but she didn't say anything. She just took Beth in, all of her. Injured, jagged short haircut, covered in dirt and blood, littered in scars. Fierce blue eyes that dared Deanna or anyone else to cross her. Deanna found herself more and more impressed the longer she spent time with the young blonde named Beth.

"I promise," Deanna said gently, "I will personally take you to them if you like. Please, continue."

Beth forced herself to soften her expression and went back to fiddling with the seam of her chair, figuring out where to pick back up.

"We had stopped at a funeral home, we had been there a couple of nights or so. Then the walkers got in and everything turned chaotic. I had hurt my ankle so Daryl just yelled for me to get out. To meet him by the road. Honestly not too sure what happened next. I made it to the road and turned to watch for Daryl, then the next thing I know, I'm waking up in Grady Memorial Hospital in Atlanta. There were cops and some hospital staff, they 'rescued' people, but really the cops just took whoever looked weak enough to not put up a good fight, forced them to stay by telling them they had to work to make up for whatever supplies was used on them. The woman that ran the place, Dawn. She… I don't know what to say about Dawn. Noah was her ward, I got close to him and we made plans to break free and get out. And we did, but they caught me. He must have found my family though, because a few weeks later my family and Noah were standing at one end of a hallway and we were on the other and they were trading Carol and I for the cops they had caught. But Dawn," Beth snorted dryly, a shadow creeping over her on the inside that made her tremble. She clenched her jaw and her fists, "Dawn just couldn't let go, said she wanted Noah. I tried to stab her, didn't work so well. She shot me. Not sure who shot her,"

"Daryl." Deanna filled in easily.

Beth looked to her quickly and raised her eyebrows, "How would you know?"

"Noah." Deanna said even softer, her own eyes falling in sorrow, she picked them up quickly though and looked back to Beth, "And then the others put you in the back of a car and ran, because there was a herd of walkers coming down on them," Deanna continued smoothly, redirecting Beth away from the 'Noah' topic.

Beth nodded slowly, "Yes. That's what I've been told at least."

"So then tell me, Beth Greene, how is it that you are alive?"

"There was a doctor at the hospital, he felt inclined to rescue my remains and deal with them the way my family would have preferred. He discovered I still had a heart beat and, well all he told me really was that he did whatever it took to keep me alive. He did tell me he had to do a couple of surgeries, something along the lines of bringing down brain swelling and some reconstruction? I don't really know, I was in a coma for a few weeks and that whole time period is a little fuzzy for me."

Deanna nodded in understanding and encouraged Beth to continue, showing genuine interest and investment in both Beth and her story. She shifted in her seat as if she knew that everything was about to get interesting, but to be fair, she had gotten her warning about the wolves before she had insisted on doing this first. So she probably knew that Beth was getting closer to that point of the story.

Beth sighed and rubbed at her eyes briefly, preparing her for the second wave of emotions she was about to assault herself with by going into such fresh territory for her. She briefly debated whether or not she wanted to tell Deanna about her cutting herself. Could she understand about something like that? Or would she turn out to judge Beth as something wild and dangerous and unpredictable, someone that could bring harm to Deanna's people or even Beth's people too? Beth decided to keep that part to herself, just like everyone seemed to be doing in regards to Noah. Need to know basis only, she'll worry about the rest later.

"After I left the hospital, I went to Richmond. I figured that would be were my group was headed, the others at the hospital had told me that Noah left with my family, and I knew he had his own family in Richmond. So I knew he at the least would be there. But there was nothing there. And that hurt. I didn't know what to do, I just sat there and stared at my map and tried to guess which direction my people might have gone in if they had even gone to Richmond to begin with. I started heading this way, and then they found me."

"The wolves? These men that you say are planning to attack us?" Deanna asked simply to clarify and be sure she was correctly following Beth. She nodded in response to Deanna and she waited in turn for Beth to keep talking.

"They sort of ambushed me in my little camp. They knocked me out and I didn't wake up until the following morning. I don't know where exactly they had taken me, but I could hear them talking about this safe zone and someone they only referred to as 'him' wanting to attack and kill everyone here. For whatever reason, the guys that took me felt convinced that this leader figure wants to kill off everyone here one by one, that he enjoys it as sport." Beth stated hotly.

"These guys are insane, Deanna," Beth worried her hands in her lap now, quickly growing more anxious, "They have no humanity left in them, they think they're animals; they think they are wolves but this group might as well be a herd of thoughtful walkers themselves because that is the only difference between the two groups; these guys have full brain capacity."

Deanna nodded slowly, never moving her gaze from Beth as she seemed to consider everything Beth had told her, she blank slowly and finally gave a small sigh, "How did you get away from the two that captured you, Beth?"

Beth sat up straighter, pulling her palms flatly up her lap. She closed her eyes, clamping her jaw tight to hide the tremble that threatened to take over her completely. She was afraid of this part, of revisiting her brutal murder she had committed less than twenty-four hours prior. Of watching the blood fall down over her like rain yet again. Afraid of opening her eyes to see her ghosts sitting in the room with her and Deanna. Because she could feel them, Beth could feel her ghosts watching her every move just as much as she could feel Deanna watching her every move too. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes, trying tightly to keep her eyes locked on Deanna's instead of taking in the knowing eyes of the ghosts that sat on either side of her, watching Beth like she could be their savior.

"I killed them."