Something in both Alison and Emily changed immediately following the sit down they had with Hanna and Spencer Hastings. Something in them changed and made them realize to look at a picture different that the one they thought they had been starting at for too long.
In no more than an hour, what started as a most unlikely of friendships, turned into something a little more.
Emily's POV
The last thing that happened at the 'meeting' with Hanna and Spencer was nothing I ever expected. The fact that we're all so involved was nothing short of scary. And believing it was a coincidence was just out the question, I know that somehow this was all orchestrated and I know Hanna and Spencer were thinking the same thing.
And there's nothing more that I would like to do, than get to the bottom of this, but the one person that can help me do that, help Hanna and Caleb do that, is well...I don't know yet. I wish I did, I but I have no clue how she's doing.
Is she mad? Upset? Worried? Scared? There was no way I could tell for sure.
In all honesty, I still didn't know that much about Alison, even after she opened up to me, we are still just strangers to one another. And to be even more honest with myself, she could be lying about the whole thing...for all I know she could be behind all of this.
She could be mad that we figured it out, upset that she wasn't as smart as she thought, or maybe she's worried that her act is going to end soon, scared of facing the consequences?
But the more I think, the more I realize that thinking that any one of those is true goes against everything I actually feel about her. I look in her eyes and I can tell she's been hurt, that she's angry but she's trying to fight it, I can tell that about her. No one is that good of a liar.
What I can't figure out is why? Why does everything seem to be related? Who was this Michael really? I don't know. And what's worse, is that Hanna knew less than me, so she's left to think the worst of all possible situations. I didn't know what Michael will do, or what he is really capable of.
But Alison did, she lived with him, she thought she loved him and that, that was the worst way to get hurt.
A thousand and one possibilities ran through my head and by the time I reached the main building, i head a headache.
Somewhat in a daze, I walked back through the halls to find the library. I needed a 'safe' place to just think and get my mind right. I didn't think Ali would go to a place I knew, so the library seemed my best bet. That, plus hardly anyone went in there, so I'd have plenty of privacy aside from the librarian/guard who was left in charge.
No foot traffic, no guards, no human interaction until I came out of from the strange comfort of all those shelves.
It was strange to think about what my next move was. My next move, even though I wasn't here on my behalf. Yes, I stepped in for Hanna, and I could actually be in here anyways if someone found out the truth, but to think about my next move was weird because none of this had anything to do with me. Not really, right? I was just close to everything, and now everyone.
I shouldn't be thinking so selfishly but, really, I told myself, Alison was having problems with Michael, he was in denial about cheating and Ali needed proof so she found a private investigator in Caleb through Reyes, who happened to work with Caleb and train with Michael. Then, when things went sour, Alison ran from Michael, who she may or may not have attacked in self defense. She left with Reyes who turned out to be the best friend she would have on this journey, only to somehow end up being thrown in jail. Michael finds out who helped Ali get the picture evidence and tracks him down. Caleb is taken and Hanna is being blackmailed by him.
I sighed heavily and sat at a table, wondering if I left anything out. Yeah sure, I forgot that Hanna wanted to steal to get the money she was being blackmailed to collect and when she got caught I took her place and here I am, with Alison in the place of Hanna and things are more fucked up than I could imagine.
"Can you just leave? What are you guarding us from? The dust?"
I lifted my head in the direction of the voice even though I knew exactly who it was.
"DiLaurentis, I'm not going to ask you again. Either you calm down or I will write you up for a shot."
"Go ahead," I heard her snarl, "then I'll tell your boss Grey that you've been hooking up with Stone in the closets and you only wrote me up so I would stay quiet."
"You wouldn't, she wouldn't believe you."
"Oh don't push your luck Damion, I've been here longer than you and I've always had good standing, but if you like to gamble, let's do what we both say we will and see who comes out on top."
"Fine, 10 minutes."
"20 or else I tell Grey that you've also been getting close to some of us innocent inmates too."
"You're a bitch."
"And you fucking disgust me."
I was frozen when I heard the door close and our supervising guard leave. Should I hide? Run?
But by the time I stood up, Ali was already at the other end of the desk.
"Emily, going somewhere?"
I looked up and swallowed, "no, I was just going to um, um rearrange the F shelf."
Ali laughed and shook her head, "we did that 3 days ago, we're actually done with all the shelves, just some legal books that need new tabs and a shelf to call home."
"Oh, then I was going to the bathroom," I tried to lie.
"You mean you were going to try avoid me?"
Shit, I was trapped, I couldn't get out of this now that I was caught...
"Listen Emily-,"
"No, I think it's my turn for you to listen to me. I don't want to talk to you about anything, unless we're both being completely honest and it's to help get my friend home safe. If you're too mad or upset, I understand, but this is all so fucked up, it's all I can think about, so unless you want to tell me something about finding Caleb, I'd just like some alone time." I couldn't believe how harsh I sounded, but the doubts still ran rampant in my mind: Alison could be the mastermind here.
"You think I had something to do with this?" She said with a tone of realization.
"I didn't say that." But that's what I wanted her to know right?
"You didn't have to, I can tell."
"Yeah? How, because you know me so well? Alison look at this from how I see it, no offense but all of this-,"
"Is my fault?" She finished.
"No," I protested, "I wasn't going to say that. I wasn't going to blame you."
"Then what were you going to say?"
"Ugh," I sighed tiredly, "will you at least sit down?"
She looked at me through narrowed eyes and I could tell she sat down with some difficulty.
"There."
"Thank you," I said without really meaning it...she hadn't really done anything that needed thanking, so I just looked at her and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear, "and I wasn't going to blame you, just so you know," I added after she gave me this look, "I was just going to say that all of this is connected and you're the only person I know that can help sort through this."
"And what exactly do you think I can do to help you and your friend? Because that's the only reason you're talking to me now right? To get answers, to milk me of my past and get all that you can?" She said this somewhat bitterly and I tried not to let her words sting me.
"Ali, I don't know what you think I think of you, but let me tell you, I'm not changing my mind about it. I'm also not telling Hanna or Hastings anything you told me, and I won't. I just hope that when you're ready, you'll talk to someone, it doesn't have to be me...just someone and get this handled."
"Why do you care?"
"Other than the fact that Hanna is family to me and Caleb is my friend? Because I don't think you should have this hanging over you, nor do I think you deserve to be punished anymore than you already have been by this monster. But this is your call, I just don't want anyone else getting hurt."
"Anyone else? Has Caleb been hurt?" Her voice took on a level of concern and it warmed my heart to hear it.
"From what Hanna has told me, just some cuts and bad bruises. She's scared because-,"
"Because she doesn't know how far Michael will take this."
"Yeah," I answered and before I could add, she did.
"And you all think I'm the only one you have access to that knows him that well."
"Well not exactly." I had to tell her about the picture.
"What do you mean, 'not exactly'," she asked, leaning towards me.
"Hanna and Spencer think you're the only one they can ask about this, but they showed me a picture just after you left our ambush and um, and-,"
"And what," she almost yelled, "spit it out!"
"I seen Reyes in it. Hanna didn't recognize him, but I could."
"Emily I suggest you think about what you saw very hard and try again. Joshua has been nothing short of my savior through all of this, so unless you have proof Emily-,"
"It was him Alison," I cut her off and confirmed, looking at her hard, "but you knew that didn't you," I speculated.
"No, I don't know what you're talking about."
"Yes you do, you had doubts didn't you? About Reyes, you suspected him, but me telling you, this is the proof you needed. Are you in on this?" I had to be careful how I handled this.
"No, I'm not," she answered cold and hard.
"But you knew Reyes was involved?"
She looked around and when she couldn't find anything to focus on she shook her head, "not at first, not for years, it was just a few months ago that I started to notice that he was acting strange. I didn't think anything about it, I didn't have a reason to."
"Then?"
"I don't know, I guess I could just tell that something was up, but he wouldn't say anything to me, so I guess he was just frustrated with something."
"Why would he be frustrated," now there were more dots to connect more pieces to align and I was this close to getting something before and now another curveball.
"I don't know."
At this point, I was just getting upset, "think dammit! C'mon, think," and when I looked up, I know I shouldn't have yelled. The look in her eyes, like she was looking at a ghost, "fuck," I breathed, "Alison, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you, I just want to know why all of this is happening okay? I'm sorry."
She searched my eyes for a moment before I seen that look in her eyes dim until it faded away completely.
Alison's head dropped into her hands, elbowed firm on the table and she mumbled something against her skin.
"What?"
She looked up and this time there were tears in her eyes, "I can't get away from him. He's everywhere."
It struck me that she was talking about the aggression I had in my voice, the situation with Hanna and Caleb, the involvement of Reyes in everything, even in herself: her dreams, her nightmares. He was everywhere for her, she couldn't escape him.
"Ali," I started but looking across the table at her I knew there was nothing I could say that would make it right. Nothing I could do to undo her past, so I shut up and waited for her to look up again.
"Emily, I know we barely know each other but please believe me when I say I have nothing to do with this. I don't know all the why's, I don't have anyone, I don't even know who to trust, but I'm telling you the truth because I have nothing more to lose."
I stood up then and watched her eyes ask me what the hell I was doing before I answered her by sitting down beside her and holding my arm out, "you have me and you can trust me."
She rolled her lip between her teeth before talking, "why?"
"Why?"
"Yes, why do I have you, why can I trust you, why do you care? I know this has to do with your best friend, but you don't have to pretend to be nice to me because of it."
I laughed lightly and dropped my arms back to my sides.
"Now you're laughing."
"We're pretty toxic aren't we?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Look, Alison, even if Hanna wasn't involved, if this had nothing to do with finding Caleb, I would still care."
"Why, Emily you don't make any sense."
"Then make sense of this," I said firmly before swatting the butterflies in my stomach and licking my lips quickly before leaning in and grabbing the sides of her face and bringing her face close to mine, making sure she could feel my breath, giving her eyes no choice but to look into mine.
Our lips were barely inches apart and my heart was beating so hard and loud I'm sure she could hear it.
Her breath caught and she opened her mouth to say something, closing it, and looking at my mouth before doing it all over again.
"Y-you want to kiss me," she swallowed and in the proximity I could hear it, she was nervous.
I just nodded and let our noses graze gently, "yes, but that would require your permission, when you're ready."
I started to pull away slowly, letting one of my hands drop to the side of her neck and the other's thumb left to stroke her cheek.
"I don't know all the reasons why either, but I like you Alison...a lot. As frustrating as you've made me in these past few days, I like you. You can trust me on that. and you can trust that I will not do anything to hurt you."
"Well," she laughed and smiled genuinely, "that would require me giving you permission to get close enough to hurt me."
"Well then," I posed, "you hold all the cards, what's it going to be?"
"I'll take the gamble," she shrugged and I moved my hands away to hold one out for her to shake.
She smiled and grabbed it, "but just so you know," I told her, "you'll lose if you bet against me."
"I guess we'll see."
"I really wanted to kiss you." I don't know why I said that out loud, but I did and I felt my own cheeks turn red.
"And I really wanted to let you but I don't think I can just jump into something right now, especially here, and you'll be getting out soon, Emily I don't even know-,"
"Hey, hey, calm down, I didn't propose or anything, I just said I like you and I want to help you. Leave it at that okay, you can tell me how you feel - if you feel something about me - later. Right now, I just want you to know you can trust me, as a friend okay? That won't change unless you steal my applesauce at lunch or something."
"More of a pudding girl anyways. But if you're planning on going to the doctor's I could steal some of that away from you?"
"Alright, well then we have a deal." I smiled at her and got up to sit back in my chair across the way when she stopped me, "Emily?"
"Yeah," I answered casually.
"Um," she fiddled with her hands and looked down before meeting my eyes again, "I uh- you irritate me sometimes. I like you too."
"That's good to know."
"Toxic you said right?"
"Right."
"So you want to interrogate me now?" She grimaced and shrugged and it reminded me of what a kid would look like when they were admitted to something they know they shouldn't have done but did anyways. It looked like her own way of saying sorry.
"I want to catch this asshole and figure out what your 'friend' has to do with you and Caleb."
No One's POV
Emily and Alison sat in the library for the 20 free minutes they were given and it was awkward at first.
"Who is supposed to do the talking here?"
Alison asked slowly while tracing her hands over the scratches in the table.
Emily looked up and wanted to laugh, but it ended up sounding like she was choking, "um, I don't know."
"Well, I'm sure you have questions right? You have more, I know it."
"Yeah," Em admitted somewhat embarrassed, "I do," then she added, "don't you?"
Alison looked up and when she looked at Emily, Em felt like she was being asked the questions and being searched for the answers at the same time. It made her a little uneasy in her seat, squirming just slightly to adjust the way she was facing the blonde.
"I do."
Emily swallowed, "even if you're good at reading people like books?"
Alison smiled that charming smile and shrugged, "your're different, not like anyone I've ever known, so it's harder to tell what the hell you're about."
"Oh."
"Well, it's not a bad thing, I like it, that means that there's more to you than you let on. And I like that, it's good to be reserved sometimes."
"Yeah, is that why um, nevermind."
"No," Ali stopped her, "not nevermind. You want to know if that's why I'm so defensive right? So intense? It's fine, you're right, it is."
"Hard to read, huh?"
"Well, hard in a different sense, like I don't know the why. Like why you've been so good to me, why you care."
"Alison, you know why, I just told you that-,"
"That you like me, I know. I like you too, but you do a lot of the things you do for a different reason, I want to know why?"
"Is that your question? Just why?"
"No, not exactly, I can be more specific," Alison bantered playfully.
"Okay, well you can put me on the stand this time, go ahead." Emily waved her hands and sat back with her arms crossed.
"Is that a defensive move of your own," Ali questioned, quirking a brow in the process. She laughed when Emily sat up straight and uncrossed her arms.
"N-no," she stuttered, trying to stop the red in her cheeks from getting any deeper.
"Uh huh," Alison teased, "whatever you say."
"What? It's true, I have nothing to hide."
"We'll see."
Em was thrown by the tone is Alison's voice.
"Okay then, go on, ask me something, since you think I'm hiding something."
"Well, hide and protect are two different things, and I don't think you're hiding something as big as what you're protecting."
At this, Emily found it hard to swallow, hoping what she thought Alison was talking about was not was she was actually going to ask her. She sent a silent prayer to whoever was listening and put on her best poker face.
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"You do Emily, and that's why you're trying so hard not to show it. What was it you just said to me? That I should trust you?"
"Yeah but what does that have to do with-,"
"Do you trust me," Alison asked seriously.
"I - I, you saved me, on more than one occasion I think and you've been open with me about your past, I know that us meeting, and in here, it's weird and-,"
"Listen, Emily, don't skirt around the question...please. Just answer me, I don't care what you say." Although, that wasn't true, she was lying: she did care, and she would care even more if Emily decided she didn't trust her.
But she had been hurt far worst than hearing the honest opinion of someone she had barely known for a couple of weeks. So then why couldn't she just not care about what Emily was about to say. Why couldn't she pretend that she was the same girl that just wanted to make her mom proud and do what she was told to do and show no emotions.
Was it that easy for her to forget about the old her? It was instilled in her wasn't it, so how could she just become the caring person she always knew she was? How could she be in this cold and hard place and want to be nothing more than the best version of herself? She couldn't possibly think it was just because of one person could she?
But all Alison's life had been a series of who was running her life, who was calling the shots, who was pulling her strings. This part of her life now, in here, as ironic as it seemed, was where she had the most freedom she ever had during any part of her life.
She could be who she was because there was no one else telling her otherwise. Her schedule was planned and regulated but compared to being told how to act and who to hang out with, it was a small, if not minuscule, sacrifice.
"It's kind of your turn to answer the questions now Emily." Alison took her stance and crossed her arms over her chest.
"You want me to be honest?"
"Yes, brutally honest."
"What if what I say isn't what you want to hear?"
"Is that how you've lived your life too? Always doing what you think other people want you to do? Saying what you think everyone wants to hear?"
Emily pursed her lips and before answering with an immediate no, she actually thought about what Alison was asking, No one had ever asked her what she wanted, she just did. She never even asked herself if the life she was had was the one she wanted to live. She never remembered doing anything that displeased her mom, or dad, or coach, or teachers, not even Hanna.
"Yeah, I do."
"What?" Alison was prepared to hear Emily yelling at her for talking that way to her and was shocked that the brunette actually said yes.
"I do live my life that way...I guess...I always have. I never asked myself that, no one has ever asked me either, so I never thought about it. But you're right, I do live my life trying to do what I think everyone else wants me to do."
"Emily-," Alison started sympathetically.
"No, you don't get to do that," Em cut her off, "you don't get to feel bad. It has nothing to do with you and what's said is done, so you don't get to feel bad. You asked and I answered."
"I don't feel bad, I can't feel bad."
"Why? Because of who your mom made you?"
"No." Ali made sure to lock and hold her stare at Emily, those brown eyes that she thought were so bright and full of life and happiness were somehow darkened by less happier moments in her life. "I don't feel bad, and it's not because of my mom. I don't feel bad because I know how you feel. I understand. You're looking at me like you can't explain what you mean because I wouldn't get it. And that's fucked up considering I've been a puppet my whole life. So I don't feel bad, I feel like we now share something else in common. I feel like someone finally understands."
"It's not the same though," Emily tried. She remembered everything Alison told her that night. Images of her own about what terrors happened to this blonde haunted her in this very moment and she knew what she endured growing up and being with her parents and in relationships was nothing like what Alison how to go through. "It's not the same Alison, what happened to you...it wasn't like what I went through, and trying to equate them is unfair...to us both."
"Unfair? Emily life is unfair. The degree of pain and heartache we both endured doesn't measure who's situation was worse, it was our own shit to deal with and I know it made us better for it."
"You'd laugh if I told you." Emily looked away finally and bowed her head.
"Try me, I would never laugh at something that hurt you."
"I don't know, compared to-,"
"Stop comparing us! We're not the same!" Alison burst and her face reddened with this frustration building in her.
"Fine!" Emily yelled back, not knowing why they were both getting so riled up, "you want to know, it was my parents. There."
Alison calmed down, focused on steadying her breathing and nodded, "your parents? What did they do to you?"
"It wasn't...it's not like that. It wasn't some singular event, or thing they would always do, it was just...it was...it's just who they are."
"You're not speaking in the past here, Emily, who are they?"
Emily sighed and rubbed at her temples, feeling as all the pent up emotions towards her parents unraveled. She didn't even know she was holding in all this resentment and anger, frustration and pain. She didn't realize she hardly expressed her true feelings about someone or something in her life because she had always been pushing them way down so she could focus on doing everyone else expected her to do.
"Look, I never even talked about this before, I didn't know I could feel this upset about them."
"That's okay, that's okay, I can't be the only one getting overly emotional here, can I? What kind of relationship would that be if only one of us showed how we were always feeling?"
"A toxic one," Emily smiled at her repeated words.
"Exactly, so let's be toxic if that's what this is...but not in that way."
"I don't know where to start."
"Start with answering my first question, do you trust me?"
"I know I can, and I should because you've saved me and haven't been awful towards me-,"
"But? I know there's a but coming along here somewhere."
Emily sighed, "there is."
"Well, what are you waiting for?"
"I don't know, that's the thing Alison, I don't know."
"Why not?"
"I don't know."
"You can't keep saying that! You do know, I know you do, just admit it!"
"Listen, Alison, you were right when you said I had lived my whole life doing what I thought everyone else wanted me to do, in just the span of a few minutes, you helped me realize that in a way I was always being manipulated, pushed and pulled into this person who I felt like I had no control in becoming. So when you ask me, right here and right now if I trust you, I want to tell you yes, that is the truth."
"And the but is?"
"The but is that I also trusted my parents, I trusted my friends, I trusted the people I had relationships with. I trusted them and all I ever was, was their puppet. And I guess in that sense, you're right again, we are alike. But I could trust you now and who knows what I'll do to keep you around. I like you and that makes me even more susceptible to do what I think will make you like me back."
"But I already told you I liked you too and if things were different and we weren't in here I would show you."
"Yeah? Well my parents said they loved me everyday, doesn't change who are."
"You know what, nothing good is going to come out of this if we keep playing this game." Alison was getting to the point where she was thinking about leaving and just staying out of all this.
"It's not a game to me Alison, I just want to help Hanna find Caleb."
"And how did you expect us to do that," she asked rhetorically, "by laying out all our cards right? By giving up the pieces of our stories? Well I did that, you asked and I did, and now you have to tell me something...anything. It's your move Emily."
Em bit her lip and massaged the tense muscles in her neck with her hand, "where should I begin?"
"Close your eyes and just start at the beginning, or the end, it doesn't matter to me."
Alison's POV
I watched Emily move and then still and then fidget again in her seat. Whatever she was preparing to say did bug her, and I was glad in a way that I exposed that to her. I could tell whatever it was changed her and I know she said that what she went through didn't measure to what I did, but I knew we shouldn't compare each other's pain to the other, so I didn't.
I also didn't let myself imagine what could've happened or how her parents treated her, I didn't want to build any theories about why she is the way she is based on just my imagination.
I wanted to know her. I wanted to know about the Emily Fields outside of these grey concrete walls, outside of these stupid orange jumpsuits, I just wanted to know her in the sun and in some jeans and a colored top. What was her style like, where did she like to eat at? I couldn't tell any of that from just her eyes.
"Um, so I guess I should tell you about my parents first."
"That'd be a good place to start, but you can share whatever you're comfortable with."
"Why do I feel like we've been each other's psychologists these past few days?"
And that made me laugh, this was a good sign, "well we don't have many other options to stay sane in here," I offered and reveled in the sound of her own pure laughter.
"You're right...again. You know maybe when we get out we should just go back to school and study how-,"
"Emily, I will personally call Hanna and your lawyer and tell them everything I know if you just stop trying to change the subject."
Her face fell and I wished she would start talking soon so I could stop feeling like a complete ass.
"Okay, okay fine. I don't know that there's much to tell okay? My dad is in the army and my mom worked at the police station before she quit there and decided to work at Hollis as a school nurse. Growing up with my parents in the military and law enforcement, everyone thought they were going to be really strict on me. And in a way they were.
"But it wasn't the strict like I had to be home at a certain time every day, I had to ace all my tests. No, they were the 'you need to act like you're supposed to in order to not embarrass our family' type of way. When we moved to Rosewood, my mom had me cut out like a poster child. Her and my dad thought that I could just do no wrong.
"I was supposed to be their perfect little 'Emmy,' that's what they called me and sometime still do. I was young so I listened, god did I listen. I never asked for anything, I didn't talk back, I didn't imagine doing anything if they didn't suggest or support it, I didn't even consider going out to do things if they didn't bring it up first.
"I didn't realize at the time, but I basically lived in a bubble, their bubble, and I either conformed to who they wanted me to be or else I would pop that bubble."
Emily was right, our parents were different, but I couldn't think of anything more oppressive than parents that didn't allow their child to express who they really were. I still felt some sort of pain, like I did feel bad that Emily's parents were submissively mistreating her, it was almost worst that way.
"You know, every time there was a new neighbor, my mom would back a pie and I would go over, greet whoever it was, give them the pie as a gift from the Fields," she mocked in a higher pitched tone which I assumed was meant to imitate her mother's voice, "and on top of that," she added, slightly more agitated, "I had to offer to help them unpack."
"From then, the list became unsaid and I was expected to be like the overly sheltered girl-next-door character we see in all the movies. I was well-mannered at the dinner table when all I wanted to do was slouch a little and not hold it in every time I needed to burp."
She was upset but I had to let out a little laugh at this.
"Yeah, it's funny now, but fuck," she took a long sigh, "that was so annoying, I hated that. There was more, in fact there is a whole lot more, but I'll spare you from that snooze fest."
"No," I objected, "you can tell me everything."
"I know...I know I can, remember I do trust you, at least I do for now, it's just you want to know why I am the way I am, just the same as me wanting to know what happened to you that you had to wear this hard emotionless mask for so long when I knew right off the bat that that wasn't the real you."
"So tell me." There was an infuriatingly frustrating way we had been talking to each other. It was like we were in this bipolar argument of who gets to be nice today, or mad, or secretive, it went back in forth between questioning and answering and pushing and pulling, I just wanted to...I just wanted to scream. Did she feel like this too?
"There was always this build of tension between my mom and I as I got older. My dad was gone more and more often and soon it felt like it was just me and my mom. I missed him but there was nothing I could do. I looked forward to the days he would call because it was just me and him, I didn't have to be anything but just myself talking to my dad.
"When I realized this, it made me resent the way my mom watched over me all the time. Like she was making sure I was still being their perfect Emmy. Then when high school was about to start, I started to notice something about myself.
"You hit puberty." God, I felt so stupid for saying that but I would want to do anything to hear Emily laugh again.
And she did. "No, no aside from that." I could tell the laughter was just a way to ease the awkwardness of what she was going to say but I didn't know why. What did she do?
"Did you run of and dye your hair?"
"No."
"You got your ears pierced?"
"No."
"Bellybutton?"
"NO, c'mon we're talking before freshman year."
"Well I don't know, did you take her credit card and run off to the mall for an unauthorized shopping spree?"
"No, Alison," she said in a even voice and met my eyes with a look that screamed-
"Oh...OH," I exclaimed.
Her eyes racked over my face like she was checking me-
"OH, so you knew that early that you were..that um you liked..."
"That I was into girls?" She completed my thought but with flushed cheeks.
"Yeah, oh god, please, I don't know why you're getting red, I would never make fun, or offend you, I mean obviously I have nothing against it, I just didn't know if you labeled your sexuality or were one of those 'it doesn't need to have a label and neither do I' kind of people."
"It's okay, calm down no need to apologize."
"Okay, I mean we're not really the best communicators are we?"
"With each other? No."
"Yeah, well what are we going to do about that?"
"We're not a couple or anything," Emily started, "so there's nothing that we have to do."
"Not yet." Oh shit, did I just say that? I looked at her and felt my cheeks burn up.
"Not yet what?"
Oh god, I had meant that she and I weren't a couple yet, "um, there's nothing we have to do about that yet, you know unless it'll jeopardize finding your friend."
"Uh huh, sure," Emily had a playful smirk on her lips and a look that read 'I know you're lying' all over her face.
"Oh you wish." Yeah, that was good, defense was the best offense. I think I remember reading that on a poster in gym during high school.
"Okay Alison, whatever you say."
What's going on? Are we...flirting?
"Yes," Emily answered, "we are." What? But I didn't say-
"Oh shit."
"Yeah, you were thinking so loud your brain had to use your mouth." She started laughing and this time I didn't join her.
"Emily - no - I-,"
"It's okay, I can make people this flustered."
"Oh so you've done this before?" I asked playfully.
"I have no idea what you mean."
"Does Emily Fields who I thought was sweet and innocent often pray on weak pretty women?"
"Who said I was innocent, I'm in here aren't I?"
I narrowed my eyes and gave her a knowing look, "and you shouldn't be."
"And who said you were pretty?"
"Ugh, that's insulting."
"I'm kidding," she told me, trying to rid of face of the feigned hurt it was sporting, "I think you're beautiful."
I looked up to say something probably equally mushy when she cut me off, "even in these unflattering lights."
"So what I'm not hearing is a no?"
She sighed at this and then looked at me like the words were getting lost in her throat.
"I haven't dated many girls since I knew what I was. In fact, it took me years just to come out to my parents, and even then, they made me feel ashamed to be who I was."
"Emily, I'm sorry." How could someone do that, make someone else, much less their own daughter, feel bad about who they love.
"It's okay, you know...Hanna was the first person that knew. She was the only one I had that told me it was okay, she said she loved me no matter who I liked and that's when I realized that there was no use in hiding it."
"So you told them?"
"Who, my parents? No not right away, in fact when Hanna found out, there was no way anyone even suspected that I was into girls. I even used to date this guy Ben. I knew I could say no, but my parents thought he was nice and so did I and he wasn't bad looking, I thought you know maybe I wasn't sure, I should just date him so I know I'm not gay."
"What happened with him?" I immediately got on edge, wishing that nothing bad happened.
"He didn't really try anything with me, and when he did the one time, well Hanna was there for me. He didn't...we didn't-,"
"It's okay, as long as he didn't hurt you?" I was concerned. I couldn't fathom anyone wanting to hurt Emily and the thought of some kid in high school doing it made me angry.
"No," she answered truthfully, "there were things said at school about what happened between us but I wasn't too hurt by it, not as badly as I hurt him, besides almost everyone knew he was lying anyways."
"Oh so you gave him the ole one-two combo?" I tried to make her smile and was relieved when I did.
"No, although I should've, but I was on the swim, I couldn't do anything to jeopardize that."
"Swim team? Hmm, I didn't peg you as a jock."
"Jock? Just because I was a swimmer that doesn't mean I was a jock."
"Uh huh, sure, and who said me calling you a jock was a bad thing?"
"No one."
"Then? It was the way you said it."
"Well, that's just my voice, don't judge me for having it sound the way it does, I had no control over anyways."
"You sure are something else," she mused.
"Yeah, so I've heard." I smirked and I pictured that if we were somewhere else, she would be playfully throwing something at me right now.
"Emily, I want to ask you something before you continue."
"Yeah sure."
"Do you um, you know, now that we said how we feel about each other I guess, do you um..."
"Spit it out or you can always tell me later?"
"Yeah," I let out exasperated, "I'll take a raincheck."
"Okay, well then, what's next on the list our list of awkward moments to have before a first date?"
"First date?"
"Yeah, you know I was thinking a nice walk around the dirt track? I private escape in the laundry room, making catch a movie in the rec room and then finish it off with the grey meatloaf and watery potato mush for dinner."
"Woah," I teased, "someone sound pretty high maintenance, plus you know how hard it is to get a seat in at La Cafeteria? I would need like a month in advance reservation."
"Alright, shut up and just ask me something else."
"Fine, fine, but we get off topic again and I don't think I'll be calling you back for date #2."
"Fine with me, I wouldn't have given you my number in the first place."
"Touche. Well how about this? I don't know how much longer I can wait to see what Reyes has to do with all of this. I also know our lovely guard will be coming in in less than 2 minutes. until then we stay low, avoid Joshua and you call Hanna and let her know what's going on?"
"Uh-," I knew I through her off but I remembered that I told Josh I would meet him later to talk about what Hanna and her lawyer wanted from me. If he was helping Michael, I needed to know before I met with him.
"Yeah, okay, fine, we can do that," Emily finally agreed.
"Okay, but before we do, you know you're going to have to tell me why you're really in here."
Her eyes widened and before she could open her mouth to pretend to lie, she snapped it shut and nodded, opening her lips again to say softer this time, "okay, okay, I'll tell you."
"Good."
"I trust you, Alison."
"Good, and I won't let you regret it."
"Was that a promise," she teased.
"No," and I held out my hand, smallest finger outstretched, "it was a pinky promise."
She took it skeptically and laughed lightly, "now, it's a legally binding contract."
"Whatever you say Fields, let's just get to the bottom of this, I have a date later."
"Then I guess you better start talking."
No One's POV
"That's what Hanna said?" Ali asked quietly from the confines of the secret space above the library.
"Yes, I'm sure of it. The day of my hearing she admitted to me what was going on."
"And she thought stealing would solve the ransom problem that she didn't know was legit or not?"
"Alison, I don't like the insinuation," Emily sat back from the chair she was currently sitting in and stared firmly.
"What insinuation? Emily I'm trying to figure out if I can connect anything, Michael came from a wealthy family, super loaded, it doesn't make sense that he would put a ransom on Caleb."
"Look, Hanna isn't an idiot. If she thought that getting the money by stealing some things would save Caleb, she would do it. She doesn't know Michael, hell neither do I, so how was she was supposed to know if it was all a ruse or something?"
"Okay," Alison accepted, "then why couldn't she take the money from your business?"
"She would never, we both worked too hard for the place together for her to want to do that. I already asked her."
Alison sighed and took her hands to massage out her temples, "I don't know why he would do this, Emily."
"What about Reyes." Em questioned cautiously.
"What about him? I told you I don't know yet, we have to wait for your lawyer to get back to us with the stuff they found in California."
"Did you see him after the library?"
"I did, but we weren't alone, I don't think he has the feeling that I'm avoiding him, but he did have a look in his eyes, like he was asking me something."
"Do you think he knew something beforehand?"
"He only said that a lawyer was here to see me. Nothing more than that."
"Okay, what about his assignment to my case? And Officer Cavanaugh's involvement?"
"How do you mean? I thought you said your lawyer woman cleared him?"
"Yeah, but when I was on the phone with Hanna, she told me he was starting to get agitated about being in the dark on everything and our persistence with not bringing this to the police in an official report."
"Hmm, Cavanaugh?"
"Yeah, why? Does that name sound familiar?"
"No really, but I can't rule it out completely. Have you met this guy?"
"Met him? No, he was just the one to arrest me and Hanna."
"They called him to the mall to arrest you from the jewelry store? You both weren't taken into holding by a security guard?"
"No," Emily said slowly, thinking about that more carefully, "he was there within seconds of the alarm going off."
"And you didn't think that was strange?"
"No, are you kidding me, all I could think about why the alarm was sounding and what was going to happen, not to mention the cuffs and then seeing the look in Hanna's face, and next thing I know I'm being read my rights and shoved into the back of a black and white."
"Okay, I'm sorry, I am, I'm just thinking out loud alright? I'm not trying to be cynical or harsh and I'm not speculating anything."
Emily uncrossed her arms and leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees, with her intertwined hands held up under her chin, "Alison, tell me something."
"Okay, sure."
"Do you picture your life when you get out of here?"
"Uh, to be honest, I used to. When I first got in here, it was hard to sleep and it was hard to wake up so when I did close my eyes, yeah, I would imagine I was out already, doing what I always wanted."
"Your dream?"
"Yeah, my dream." Alison smiled weakly and turned her head to Emily.
"Why do you ask? Do you imagine what happens when you get out of here?"
"No, not really. This may sound obscene but this, being here, has been the most excited thing to happen in my life, I don't feel the outside pressure to be the young business woman, or the perfect daughter, the best friend, just me. Fields," she laughed.
"That's not too obscene, but it is a little unconventional that we both find freedom in a place whose sole purpose is based on detainment."
"Yeah pretty ass backwards that we feel like that in here."
"Do you have someone waiting for you," Ali asked abruptly out of the silence.
"What? Uh, what do you mean?" Emily shifted and looked at Ali with amusement.
"I mean, I know you said you liked me but you never said if you were single or if you were seeing someone."
"That's because I'm not," Emily smiled.
"Oh."
"I think this is where you say something like 'good.'"
"Oh? You think?" Emily laughed and in the dying light of the flashlight Alison could see the little dimples in her cheeks harboring that dim light.
"Yeah, and I think that I might start re-picturing my life if I get out of here."
"Um correction, you mean when you get out."
Alison hummed at the thought and nodded, "okay fine when I get out. Because that's what we're going to do right? Prove I'm innocent and find Michael?"
"Yeah and get Caleb."
"And what happens if we do that?"
"Well then," Emily looked up with a fake look of deep thought and smiled, "I suppose you could ask me out and take me on that high maintenance date?"
"Oh, you suppose?"
"Yeah, I do."
"And how do you know that's what will happen?"
"I don't."
"Well then," Ali repeated mockingly, "I suppose it's not a bad guess."
x-x-x-x
AN: so school started two weeks ago and in case you haven't realized, that usually means these updates happen irregularly. Sorry for that, I wish I had the courage to just pursue English in college, but I don't. So between life, school and my new job, I'll be writing with nothing but pure joy when I have the chance. This is my happy place, abusing these keys on the computer, or tattooing paper with my words, it's my own.
That being said, doing this is something I've always loved. I have never been sure about it and was usually very self conscious so the fact that some have been stealing/ "borrowing" from something that means so much to me...well quite bluntly, it hurts and to be honest, it pisses me off.
I can assure all of you that everything I write is 100%, hands down, no questions asked, without a doubt, MY ORIGINAL WORK. This is my intellectual property. Some smut prompts were suggested by readers and that is all and some quotes from songs have been QUOTED, that is all. Accusing me of taking another person's work, so not cool, especially not when I have seen my stuff "borrowed" in other people's work before.
*sigh, anyways, I hope you're all still with me on this ride,this chapter was meant to solidify the awkward if not complicated relationship that is about to develop between Em and Ali... I hope the next chapter throws you for a loop, everything is not as simple as it might seem. *attempts to wink horribly*
I love you all, be kind, and respect each other, xo Lina