Emily's POV
I was back at square one after my talk with Alison. It was late and we still had no clue as to where Reyes was or how he was really involved in all of this. My only hope was that the pictures were old and taken before Michael ever hurt Ali. Or at least before he knew about it.
After the two of us decided to come clean about our stories and what we planned to do next, we sat in silence - in the attic of sorts - and waited for it to be almost time to wake up.
"We should probably get back now," Ali suggested after a while, "guards will be rotating soon, so we have a few minutes to be unseen."
"Alright," I said while getting up, "how much time do you think we have until wake up call?"
Alison stood, bowing her body back to stretch stiff muscles and shrugged, "I'm not too sure, but since it a new shift and they rotate at 4, my guess is about 4 hours."
Nodding, I crouched down near our door in the floor/ceiling and lifted the panel, "so we can get some shut eye for a while?" I don't know why I asked, but I guess it was because I was ready to talk to Alison some more.
And again, like she was reading me, she tilted her head and despite the poor lighting, I could still see the inquisitive gleam sparkling in her eyes. "Yeah I guess we can," she spoke slow and when she looked at me, she added, "but is that what you want to do?"
It was wasn't it?
Sighing, I put the panel back down and sat on my knees, looking up at her standing above me. "Alison, I want to tell you just as much about myself as you have told me about you."
"Okay, and I said whenever you feel like it's the right time, you can, but you don't owe me anything okay?"
"I know that." She sounded conflicted and that's how I was starting to feel.
"Listen, it's just that tomorrow - or in a few hours from now, whatever - things are going to be different. I don't know exactly how, but I know they will be. We - you and I - we're involved in something bigger than just us you know?"
All she did was nod and let me continue to speak.
"This is all tied together and I can't help but feel like it was for a reason, not just Michael's planning, but something more. I like you, I like you a lot and I want to get the person or persons that you here and prove you are innocent. I want us to get out and before we do that, I should tell you everything. No more secrets because it would really suck if one of us wasn't being as truthful as the other."
Alison just smiled and crawled on her knees in front of me,"you really want that date don't you?"
I dropped my head and laughed, somewhat in relief and also embarrassment, "you caught me red-handed."
"Guilty as charged?"
I looked up and at my blank expression, she covered her mouth to hide the fact that she had almost burst into laughter.
"That was punny wasn't it Em?"
I laughed back as silently as I could and when silence fell again, I looked at my hands, "you called me 'Em.'"
"Oh," Alison stopped, "uh, yeah, yeah I did. I'm sorry," she started to apologize after a few seconds, I guess I shouldn't have before asking you if that was alright, I'm sorry."
"No, don't be, I don't mind. It was just-,"
"Weird," she tried to finish for me.
"No, no, " I reached forward and grabbed her hand, "I was going to say nice, it was nice."
"Oh, well that's good."
"Yeah," I mused, "it is."
"Okay."
"Okay," I looked at her and then down at my hand that was still holding hers and I was going to pull away but then decided against it.
"Emily?"
"Yeah, you already told me about your past, and home life and why you're in here...so what else did you want to tell me?"
I swallowed hard then and I hoped that my sudden increase in body temperature wouldn't make my hands get hot enough that I would start to sweat all over hers.
"Nothing, I just, I want this to all work out, I need it to."
"Why?" And I know she knew it was for Caleb and Hanna but I also knew that we both knew she was asking for something else.
"Because," I whispered, scooting closer, "when it does work out and if I have to stay in here for obstruction of justice or whatever for taking the fall for Hanna, or whatever might separate us, I want to be able to remember this, and to be able to do it again."
"Do what?"
"This," and I leaned in the rest of the way, our hands still on one another's and I locked eyes with hers for a moment. I only wanted to do this if she was ready, so I waited a few more seconds, I asked her with my eyes if she was okay with this and when she met my lips and started to lean in towards me too, I sucked in a breath and closed my eyes.
It was as if I was in high school again, having my first kiss, but this time it wasn't a dare from a game of spin the bottle, this was different, this was with someone I wanted to know and be with and I just -
Stopped thinking a coherent thought the moment our lips meant. Cliche I know, but even at 25 I could feel this charge form between our skin, it wasn't the adolescent butterflies fluttering lightly. They were much heavier and I blame the conversations we shared for it.
It was different: the connection we had it was different than any other relationship I had with anyone else. Alison and I already unloaded the baggage before we even knew where the plane was headed.
I focused in on the way our lips were melded together, it felt...perfect. Yeah, the untouchable word, the unreachable but in this moment, it felt right.
She kissed me. I kissed her. We kissed each other. It was perfect.
I wanted to deepen the kiss, god did I want to but I knew I would be pushing my luck, or our boundaries if I did. So I started to pull away and I sighed when cool air finally hit my exposed lips again.
My eyes were lidded, Alison's were fluttering open and when the two pair finally met we sighed and a lazy smile crept across both of our faces.
"Wow." It was all she had said in a while and I squeezed her hand and repeated affirmatively, "yeah, wow."
"What, don't do that," she laughed lightly, "it was a good wow."
"Yeah?" Now it definitely felt like the first time I kissed someone, wondering if I was 'good at it.'
"Emily, I wanted to. I - I was ready."
"You sure," I asked, hearing the teenage version in myself emerge.
"Emily, yes, I'm sure. I've learned - somewhat the hard way - to not do something or be involved with someone unless it is 100% what I want...or," she added slowly, "who...I want," she was careful and I smiled shyly.
"Who you want?"
"Yes."
"So what I'm hearing is..."
"Emily."
"Alison, what am I hearing?"
"You're hearing that..." she paused and chewed her lip before looked at me suggestively, "you can call me-,"
Oh god, was she going to say girlfr-
"Ali."
"What?"
"Don't hold your breath, or look so surprised, it's just a nickname."
"Yeah," I said exhaling the breath I was accused of holding onto so dearly, "I just, yeah no, it's good, that's great. Ali, I like it, thank you."
"For what?"
"For giving me permission to use your nickname."
"Emily," she mused, "it's just a nickname, not that big of a deal."
I shook my head and moved my hands from hers, "but it is so much more than that sometimes. You know I told you my dad calls me Emmy, and my closest friends call me Em, I had nicknames in high school for swimming from my teammates and sometimes Hanna calls me-,"
"Hey, Emily, Em, stop."
I snapped my mouth shut and cringed internally, "I was rambling."
"Yes, you were," she laughed but I know it wasn't at me.
"Sorry," I grumbled, scolding myself for being so...so 16 year old me.
"Em?"
"Yeah Ali?" It was nice, the way her name rolled from my mouth, it was even nicer hearing mine fall from hers.
"How's that 4 hour nap sound?"
"Overdue."
After that I climbed down the 'rabbit hole' and helped Alison down afterwords. I found it was surprisingly easy to slink back into our cell block and the nap I fell into was easier still. I exchanged a few words with Ali and went to sleep with a twinge of happiness that I didn't expect to be feeling.
I had kissed the girl. I had finally had the courage to do it.
Now it was matter of making sure I could do so again, on the 'outside.'
x-x-x-x
No One's POV
"Yeah, yeah," Hanna groaned, "I accept the damn call." Hanna was currently in her living room with Spencer Hastings, accepting the phone call coming from the prison where Emily was.
"Hanna please relax," the lawyer tried to coax, calling the blonde back to couch, where they were previously sitting.
"I can't, what if that DiLaurentis doesn't want to help because we yelled at her, it's going to be my fault if we don't get Caleb back, what if Em-," and before Spencer could calm her down a voice was heard on the other end.
"What if Em what?"
"Oh god," Hanna sighed in relief, "Emily, are you okay, did she do anything to you? Because if she did, I am so sorry and also I'm going to kick her ass."
"What? Hanna breathe, what are you taking about?"
"Alison. Alison, did she do something to you because we upset her? Emily if she did you have to tell someone, or I will-,"
"Woah, Hanna please, calm down, Alison didn't do anything to me. We talked it out, yeah she was upset but it's fine now, she's fine."
"She's...fine? So you're fine?"
"Yes," Emily breathed, "fine."
Hanna's lungs expelled a giant breath of air and she finally relaxed enough to fall to her couch next to her lawyer.
"Hanna, put Emily on speaker please."
Hanna obliged and set her phone down on the coffee table.
"Hello Emily, it's Spencer Hastings."
"Hello Spencer, I hope Hanna isn't causing you too much trouble."
"No, I'm not am I?"
Spencer laughed and shook her head at the phone even though Emily wouldn't be able to see her, "she's nothing I can't handle, I've dealt with worse clients before."
"Clients? Spencer I thought we had a real solid friendship forming here?"
"We do," Spencer laughed and Emily cleared her throat unceremoniously.
"Eh-hem, yes I'm still here and mind you I don't have the luxury of unlimited call times here."
"Yeah, you're right, Em, we're sorry, so what did you want to call me about?"
"I know Alison isn't guilty and that her ex had planned everything and maybe with help from some of his friends in blue uniforms."
"Emily, I don't mean to dismiss you this way, but it doesn't matter what you believe, what matters is what we can prove and without that we have nothing"
"No, that's not nothing, we know where to start looking now."
"No Emily, we don't. All we know is California is the last place both Caleb or Michael were."
"Well start there, you have to start there."
"Emily, we hardly have anything to go on. Look what about how Alison was arrested?"
"What about it?"
"I'm not sure," Spencer thought aloud, "but if we could gather the paper trail of how she was found and who arrested her and how the legal 'stuff' went down, I could pinpoint...something."
"Stuff and something? I thought you were the best of the best, no offense but even stuff and something seem a little...I don't quite know, rookie like?"
Spencer dropped her head and laughed, "Emily, I can assure you that I am not a rookie, despite my age and the colloquialism - which I credit to Hanna's repeated requests to quote unquote 'speak English' - I am very well experienced, but I must admit that this is the first case of it's kind that I've encountered."
"And what does that mean for us?"
"Emily, if Alison's ex and Caleb's kidnapper are indeed the same person - which, I believe they are," she added for Emily's sake, "then we need definitive ties to the two instances as well as proof that he was involved."
"Is that it?"
"No, not really," Spencer looked sidelong at Hanna and the silent blonde nodded, she had already heard this so she had nothing to say until it was all explained to Emily too.
"Then what else is there," Emily asked frustratingly.
"Well we would definitely need the legal jurisdiction to conduct any kind of investigation in California which I can tell you right now, will not be easy to come by,especially if I don't have a compelling case to present to a judge of any kind. Not to mention that the fact that Alison was arrested and convicted there in Pennsylvania and if her charges were as grand as attempted murder and the other lesser charges that she was found supposedly found guilty of, then she should've been prosecuted back in California. So something else would have happened to keep her there."
"So, that's it," Emily said lightly although everyone could tell she was being sarcastic, "easy enough right, doing what sounds impossible? It feels like we're trying to push a boulder up a steep hill and then these walls keep randomly popping up in front of us."
"Hard, I know Emily, but these are the things you need to hear, they're the obstacles we have to get through if-"
"Yeah," Emily sighed into the phone, "yeah I know, thank you for not sugar coating it."
"Em," this time it was Hanna, "it's not impossible you know." There was a twinge of doubt in her voice though.
"I know Hanna but Alison-,"
"Alison?! Emily, Alison really," Hanna burst out of pure frustration, "this isn't just about her!"
"What? Hanna I know that, I know that."
"Well, it doesn't seem that way, every time we've talked to each other, her name seems to weasel it's way into everything. I just want to find Caleb, Emily, I want him home where he belongs." Hanna dropped her head into her hands and sighed heavily, trying to hold it all together without yelling into the phone at the table again.
"I'm sorry, Hanna, I am. I want Caleb home too," and after a time she added, "but I also want to put away the man that's behind all of this, I want to get out and I want Alison to get out and live the life she was robbed of. Hanna I just want to make things right."
"I know you do Em, I know you, and I'm sorry I burst at you but I'm just stressed, I'm tired, I want Caleb home, I just want my finance home to cook me alright dinners and get us free movies to watch before they come out in the theaters."
Emily dropped her head against the brick and played with the metal coated wire attaching the phone to the wall, "Hanna, I love you, you know that, and I love Caleb, but this is about everyone at this point, and I only have a few more minutes left, what I wanted to tell you was that Alison and I think Reyes might be involved."
"Reyes," Spencer asked, "wasn't that the name of the officer who was assigned to help in your case?"
"Yes and he was also Alison's friend in everything after she decided to leave Michael."
"That's it?"
"No, I also found out that he was the one who found Caleb for Alison, he was training to be a police officer under Micheal's wing and he used to be or maybe still is in love with Alison. That and I recognized him as the other person in the photo you have of Michael."
"Emily, why didn't you tell us sooner?"
The silence gave Hanna the time to remember what Emily said yesterday, "right, Em, it wasn't yours to tell. But now?"
"Now," Emily grinned through the phone, "well now Ali has given me permission to tell you. Hanna, she wants what we want."
"Ali?"
"Oh, uh yeah, Ali."
"Okay, thank you Emily," Spencer said a little too loud and somewhat awkward, sending a warning look in Hanna's direction.
"Em, listen, Spencer and I should start digging around to see what she can find, in the mean time, do you think you and Alison can find out if that guy Reyes is guilty of something or not?"
"Yeah," Spencer added, "and I don't find too many coincidences in my line of work, so whatever lines we can draw, we need to connect them."
"Okay, well that might be hard considering Alison and I haven't seen him since yesterday afternoon."
"Really," Spencer speculated, "well I can call and get where he was or is and if you tell Alison to use her phone call later, I can let her know what I found."
"Okay, thank you Spencer, we'll be in touch...somehow," she laughed at the end.
"Bye Em, stay safe...and," she picked up the phone and took it off of speaker, "I am sorry for all of this."
"Hanna, it's okay, you know if I hadn't done what I done, then maybe I wouldn't have met Alison and Michael would be getting exactly what he wants, who knows, maybe me being here is a good thing."
"I don't always see the way you see things Em, nor do I agree with all the do-good you do, but this time, just know that I do, and I agree."
"Oh," Emily said, taken aback, "well thanks Han, and don't worry too much, we're going to catch this bastard."
"Thanks Em, I don't know what I'd do without you. I am beyond thankful for you."
"Bye Han, we'll be in touch. Spencer, take care of her."
"Will do Emily."
"Bye."
Emily hung up and she felt like she was hanging up some sort of problematic towel that she used to soak up all the issues that started the moment she and Hanna went to the mall. She just wanted to hang everything up to air out, dry up and disappear in the air the way normal particles would.
"Fields," someone called, a guard, "you gonna move? You're not the only inmate wanting to use the phones here. When time is up, time is up."
"Yeah, yeah," Emily dismissed, "I'm going."
Emily shuffled her way around the corner until she bumped toe-to-toe with someone else, "Emily?"
"Val? What are you doing here?"
The small brunette laughed and pointed over the taller brunette's shoulder, "same as you, just wanted to make a call."
"Oh, of course, yeah of course, I just thought-,"
"What? That I was following you? Eavesdropping maybe?"
Emily tried to smile and not seem suspicious but she couldn't help the way her eyebrows knitted and her head tilted, "were you?"
"What? No," but the lilt in her voice made Emily uneasy.
"Aha, I'm just messing with you Emily, ease up."
"Yeah," Em laughed nervously.
"Hey, Aryn and Aria are outside near that knobby tree near the gardening shed, said Aryn said she had a surprise to share with us."
"Oh, okay, well I think I still have to be in the library for an hour or two but sure, I'll meet you out there."
"Okay, no worries," Val assured, "in fact you should bring DiLaurentis."
"DiLaurentis?"
"Yeah, I've noticed the way you look at her, I think there could be something there...unless I'm wrong, then you can come alone."
"No, no, I'll ask her, thanks Valerie."
Emily turned around before Val could say anything else and when she seen Val walk towards the phones she stopped turned around and put her back against the wall at the corner, straining her ears to hone in on Valerie's voice and focus on anything worth retaining.
It was hard to filter through the chatter but Emily did that anyways and tried to block out any other noises.
"No, I don't think she knows. Neither of them know. What do you mean how do I know, I just do okay. I'm sure of it. And I want to keep it that way still. I'm going to see her in a bit. Yeah, she'll be there too. I know she's involved with that guy but I don't care about that, he works here but he won't be an issue. Yeah, I know, I know, I will do it. In time, when I'm ready. Yeah, okay-,"
And when Emily thought she heard enough and Val was getting ready to hang up she ran from that wall and straight towards the library, her mind was going to explode.
No way could there be more twists to this than there already was.
x-x-x-x
"Em, please calm down, breathe." Alison was trying to calm the woman down into sitting and remembering to breathe.
"I am breathing Ali, I'm breathing."
"Then can you please sit down and breathe next to me so I know you won't fall over and pass out."
Emily looked over her shoulder and sighed, dropping them and then reluctantly sitting down next to Ali.
"What am I supposed to do, it's not like we can escape these people, we're trapped in here and now everything I hear from people is sounding suspicious."
"Emily, you're getting paranoid," Alison whispered. She looked at Emily and struggled to show that things were going to be alright. She wished to put her hand on Emily's shoulder and after kissing her it seemed ridiculous to be reluctant towards a simple touch.
Without being noticed, Emily had turned her head and was watching Alison with her hand currently hovering over left shoulder.
"Alison, what are you doing?"
Embarrassed, Alison dropped her hand and chewed her lip, "it's been a long time Emily...since I've allowed myself to feel."
"I know," Em answered slowly, "and I told you that I like you so I would never want to put you in a position that would make you feel...uncomfortable," she rubbed the backs of her hands in her lap and took a deep breath before looking at Alison, "and if," she exhaled, "kissing you was a mistake, then I promise I won't do it again, not until you know you're ready and so do I."
Alison shook her head and clenched her hand before placing it against Emily's shoulder, smiling reassuringly before speaking, "Emily," and after a moment, she smiled more broadly, "Em, I wanted to kiss you. I was ready, I think I am ready, but I want to be ready when we're not in this...situation."
"I get it," Emily nodded, "motive to solve this right?"
"Yeah," Ali allowed herself to laugh, "that's one way to look at it."
"What are we going to do? All I know is that if I was some kind of investigator-,"
"Like on crime tv?"
"Yes, don't judge, just hear me out okay?"
"Okay, okay," Alison sat back and conceded.
"You can laugh after but aside from Michael, we have three suspects now."
"Three? How do you figure?"
"Reyes. Officer Toby Cavanaugh and now Valerie. And who knows, she's close to Aria and Aryn, they could be in on it too."
"Okay well I'm still reluctant to believe that Joshua had anything to do with this, Em he helped me escape for god's sake."
"Yeah, I know but...think about this for a moment will you?"
"Okay, give me something to think about."
Emily thought for a moment about how to phrase this; she had to be careful how she approached this because she had no idea how Ali would react.
"I'm waiting."
"Yeah, of course, right, sorry. Alison look, I know what you've told me about Reyes and I've met him - he's great - but I don't know him really: where he's from, who he is, his family, what he's done with his life before you've known him. And now that I really think about it - you know, putting aside my initial impression of him - I have to ask myself why it was so easy for him to get away and with you. How after such a long time you were found and put in here. How was he able to work here with you, how did he get assigned to my case? Why is he suddenly gone? And I don't want to undo the friendship you've built with him, but this is just my perspective."
Alison had gone quiet, pensive in thought, absorbed in the past and how much what Emily was saying was making sense. How could she have been so stupid? So blind?
"God, I'm an idiot aren't I?"
"What? No, no you're not, Ali don't think like that?"
"Like what?! Apparently I wasn't thinking at all Emily? I feel so stupid. How was I manipulated by one man and then another without discerning the two? I let them both use me, and I believed in Reyes, I thought I owed everything to him, he was my best friend."
"Woah Ali, now you need to calm down. Listen okay, I know what he's done for you, and I've talked to him plenty of times, there's an explanation to him."
"Yeah, like what? You can't put him as your 'number one' and then tell me to calm down when I actually start to believe that he was working with Michael this whole time."
"Wait, please, you're going to make both our heads explode. Think about this now, for a minute okay? I see two ways he was involved."
"Well get on with it before I ask Grey where he is so I can rip his throat out myself."
"Okay, okay, so here's what I've been thinking, Reyes was involved from the start but getting you away from Michael had to have been for something personal, although I don't know why they would be scheming anything to begin with. So it's either that or somehow over the years, Michael got Josh to help him even after all the time he spent with you."
"And how would he do that? I trusted him, there was no sign that he was going to betray me so how could he get Reyes to do what he wants?"
"Easy, the same way he manipulated Hanna."
"So blackmail."
"Yeah, blackmail, so Michael had to have had something on Reyes, something that would make him betray you."
"Reyes knew me, I practically told him everything. If he decided to betray me, he would've known how much that would hurt, I don't know why he wouldn't have told me."
"People do crazy things all the time, Ali. Especially if it's for someone they love. Do you know of anyone from Reyes' past that he would do anything to protect?"
"No, no one, when we visited his family, they were planning on moving back to Mexico, before that, no one even knew that Reyes had a family. To tell you the truth, his family wasn't even legal. His parents and grandmother came here a year before he was born, they stayed in Southern California where he was born but when he turned 18 they took off. That's all I really know until I saw them again. They were going to go back to Mexico because - oh my god."
"What? Alison what?"
"His abuela, Isabel. She was sick something with her lungs was bugging her but also she had a drinking problem from a long time ago, the effects finally caught up with her and she was going to need a liver transplant."
"Well what was stopping them?"
"Money and insurance and the fact that they didn't have papers."
"Well if they didn't have papers, how was Reyes able to get into the academy."
"I - I don't know. I never thought about it. I met him when I visited Micheal at work, he was new and Michael was 'showing him the ropes' told everyone that Josh was going to be a great cop."
"Philanthropy doesn't seem to fit Michael's character but he would have to had known who Josh was."
"How good is your lawyer at super snooping?"
"Not sure, she asked if in a few hours you could make a call to her and tell her what you know, I imagine everything we discuss now should help her somehow."
Alison nodded, and breathed and nodded and breathed again, "okay, okay. But we can't just jump to any conclusions -,"
"I know Ali, I know this is hard for you and I hope that we're both being paranoid and he's not as involved as he looks."
"Yeah," she whispered, "yeah, me too."
"What time are we getting out of here?"
"Well you have a few months but in here for a few years, attempted mur-,"
"The library, I meant in here," Em waved her hands around gesturing the space around them, "in here Ali." She was trying not to be taken aback by how long Alison would have to remain in here if they didn't find
"Oh, right, yeah I knew that...well they have a new guy coming in, and since there's only two of us, they're sending him in soon, I overheard the walkies. So depending on if he's going to be a hardass or a pushover, we could have the whole length of our shift to do whatever we want."
"Well then let's point the finger at the other two until we see who we're going to be working with."
"Emily can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
"You have to promise me that you'll be absolutely honest."
"Of course."
"Do you really think that we can pull this off?" Emily opened her mouth but snapped it back shut when Ali cut her off, "And...don't say yes so fast - please - because I have a feeling that's what you're going to do, just think about first."
Emily dropped her hands and filled her cheeks with air before exhaling it loudly, "yes."
"What? Emily I asked you-,"
"And I thought about it, and my answer is yes. That's not going to change, no matter how long I think about it."
"You're sure?" There was a slight crack in Ali's voice and Emily felt the same crack in her chest.
"Yes, I am."
"How? There's no way to know how to do any of this. I mean look at us, two women in prison, your best friend, and a lawyer; what match is that against a guy like Michael."
"Just...just have some hope will you?"
"Hope? Emily do you know what they say about hope?"
"No, but it's always good to have it."
"Well I think it just breeds eternal misery."
Emily just looked at Alison and she couldn't help but feel bad. She shouldn't have because she knew that's not what Alison wanted but she still just felt bad. A sorry way to describe what she felt about the pain she imagined this woman going through when she was still so young. She couldn't fathom living through that kind of hell, but her she was, forcing herself to live through it through another person's words and the broken look she tried to hide in her eyes.
Em didn't even know what to say in response. Being positive about this might only earn her another quip from Alison that revealed more of the blonde's character than she was letting on.
"Emily," Ali sounded like she was tired and maybe she was just tired of fighting off how scared she was of trying to do this. Maybe none of this would've happened if she had just kept her distance, if she didn't help Emily that night or start to care about her or any of it. If she had just stuck to the tedious life in here that she was growing accustomed to... "I'm sorry."
"For what?" Emily didn't understand why Ali was apologizing again, why was she always saying sorry for how she was acting or what she would say. All of it was a result of a single man, a coward, a monster who had hurt her time and time again. It wasn't her fault so why was she apologizing?
"For...snapping just now and being so pessimistic, I know you don't have to help me or even be kind to me yet here you are and I should be so upset when you suggest things or talk about ending this, I'm sorry."
"No."
"No? Emily, I'm trying to apolo-,"
"I know you are, and that's why I'm saying no. You need to stop apologizing for how you feel. Stop saying sorry for who you are, who you were and who you want to be. Stop thinking that any of this is your fault because it's not. I don't blame you for any of it," the looked gaze between them was intense and it shot straight to Alison's stomach.
No one has ever looked at her the way she was being looked at: like she was important to someone else. Like who she was was good enough, she was wasn't bad or useless or just someone's daughter, someone's girlfriend.
Emily looked at her like she was worth a damn fighting for.
"Could you ever love a person like me?" Alison spurted, fueled on her own adrenaline.
"What," Emily asked, confused and clearly caught of guard.
"God, I'm stupid, I don't know why I asked you that, I'm stupid just- just forget I asked it, I don't what I was thinking, I -,"
"Woah, calm down, please, calm down, Alison, I heard you, and I can't unhear you."
Alison cringed and bit her lip, turning her head away from Emily's direction.
"Alison, you just asked me if I could love a person like you, and I think you really wanted to ask if I could ever love you?" Nothing but silence came from Alison and Emily sighed, "I'll take that as a yes. Now if I could ever love you? You want to know what I think?"
Alison was tempted to turn around but she was only certain Em would say no, reject the idea that someone so pure and loyal and brave could ever love someone who was the complete opposite.
"You don't have to say anything Em-,"
"My answer is yes, I think I could."
Alison turned back around then, with a face that read disbelief, "what?"
"I think yes, that I could love you, I could easily fall in love with you."
"No..what? Why? I don't even know why I asked-,"
"Maybe you do, maybe you don't but I do."
"And how could you possibly know that?"
"I just do and maybe in time you will know too."
"No, you don't know that and you don't know that you could love me. I'm no good."
"Well that's what you think but that's not what I think. And who knows, maybe there are parts of you that you don't like, but there are parts of ourselves that we all don't like, that doesn't mean that those are the only parts that people see, that doesn't mean people only see one side of another person either. Alison, I could love you because so far, I like all the parts of you I have seen. You just have to meet me half way and love those parts of you you're still hiding."
Alison shook her head, Emily was just too good to be true, someone like her shouldn't exist, especially not her in presence. She doesn't want to taint someone like Emily, doesn't want to implement a dark stain on her life.
"Could you love me," Emily asked, turning the question over.
"Yeah I could." Alison answered without thinking hard at all, and she took a deep breath.
"Now is it your turn to tell me why?" Emily was only being coy but Alison was already wrapped in the raging hormones and chemical signals her brain was decoding that she answered Emily almost as quickly.
"Because I think I already do."
If Emily was drinking or chewing anything, she was certain she would've started to choke.
"You what?"
"Crazy, I know, but like you said, we can be toxic for each other, so maybe that's what we are, toxic and I'm infected by you, by just the idea of us. I know I could love you because I think I already do. I've fallen in love with the way you talk when you're passionate, the way your brows knit when you're worried and I know I would love the way you would act outside of these walls, in your own element. I know I could love you because you're the only person I've met who just wants me to love myself first."
"I - I don't know - I don't know what to say." Emily swallowed.
"You don't have to say anything, I know I sprung it on you out of nowhere, but I'm taking a chance with you, I have nothing left to lose. Just...can you make me a promise?"
"Um, I guess that depends."
"Can you promise me that even if none of this works out and you get out long before me, can you promise that when I do eventually get out...can you promise me that date still?"
"Alison, I -,"
"Just one date, even if you find someone and have a life, just as...friends, I guess, can you promise me a date?"
Emily was nodding before she had even said anything, "okay, I promise. One date."
A sigh fell from Ali's lips and she tried not to let her smile eat her face, "one date."
x-x-x-x
"Do you know this Valerie? Last name? Where she's from, how she got in there?"
"No Hastings," Alison moaned, "I told you everything I know and everything Emily knows." She had been on the phone for 7 of her 15 minutes of paid for speaking privileges explaining in a hushed tone what she knew. "Apparently she was with two others - who are also here - in some sort of aggravated protest a while back. They took the heat for breaking and entering and stealing a clean energy company's files and sending them in to a local paper and having them published online. Other than that I don't know, Em said that the Montgomery girl was the one who approached her but she swears that she's clean."
"Okay just see if Emily can get any more information, I'll look up the incident online and look up their names and use my connections to get into their personal files, see if anything links them to California."
"Okay and what else should we do? What about Reyes? Did you see if you could find where he's been?" Alison hated asking for help but if Spencer Hastings was as trustworthy as Emily and Hanna said, then she was going to have to trust her.
"The only thing I could find on him was that he put in a request for a leave of absence two days ago, I guess he finally had it granted. I managed to use what Hanna had here of Caleb's things to gain access to the prison guards' schedule and his name doesn't appear until Monday."
"Monday? That's five days, who requests a set amount of time off?"
"A someone with an agenda," Spencer concluded and when Alison merely hummed, she continued, "tell me again what Emily heard from Val when she was on the phone."
"Uh, right, well Emily said that Val was talking about another person not knowing anything, said 'she doesn't know' and then she said something about another girl about how 'she's involved with a guard that works here. Those are the important bits. But it's pretty clear she's talking about me and Emily."
"Okay, well we can't rule out everything else."
"Everything else? I'm sorry but what else could there be?"
"Is there any chance that Val could've been talking about someone else?"
"Spencer I don't know how much you know about what it's like in here but it's not like everyone are friends and we sit and gossip around a campfire about everyone's personal lives and shit. I don't know 98 percent of the people in here and now I'm starting to question a big part of the only 2% I actually do know. So if I or Emily had anything else to tell you at this point, you would know it by now." Alison heart rate had picked up and she soon huffing, her hand angrily wrapped around the phone until her knuckles were white."
"Okay, you're right, I'm sorry. It was insensitive of me to think or imply that you were withholding any information that could help not only Hanna and Emily, but you as well. I'm sorry."
Alison took a deep breath and clenched her jaw, "it's okay. I've been trying to work on my people skills, Emily said I could be abrasive sometimes, and I know we're not talking in public but that doesn't mean I should be so...so -,"
"Bitchy?"
"Yeah," she laughed, "bitchy," but she realized that the voice wasn't the lawyer's. "Wait what? Is that...wait," Alison paused, "have I been on speaker the whole time?"
Hanna's laughter was heard and Alison groaned, "great."
"Yup, hello Alison."
"Hello Hanna."
"Sorry you didn't know but after the whole 'she doesn't have that much time and neither do we' lecture, I agreed to shutup while you two spoke, but I wanted it on speaker, I don't like hearing secondhand."
"Straight from the horse's mouth, I get it."
"Yeah, so I zipped the lip and let you two just talk."
"I imagine if your best friend was here, she would say that it was hard to believe."
"Wow, I'm insulted. You're lucky this is a phone call or else I'd slap you."
"Why?"
"Because you insulted me and I think you're wrong, Emily would be proud."
"Well at the rate she's going, you can slap me when we get out."
"Ah, I see," Hanna understood exactly what happened, "she got to you."
"Yeah, she did. Is she always like this?"
"Like what? Only managing to see the good? Always accepting the bad and saying it's not that bad?"
"Yeah, like that."
"There have been Emily's darker moments, there's no denying that, but she's been there for everyone in her life, no matter how hard the situation or what is or isn't asked of her, you can always count on Em to pull you out of a bad spot."
"I figured, I was just...thanks."
"Yeah."
Alison was moments from saying she'd try to find out any more info soon when Hanna cleared her throat.
"Hey Alison?"
"Yeah?"
"I suppose since Em's parents are in Hawaii and still have no idea what's going on and seeing that she's the only child and all, I feel it's my job as her best friend as well as the idiot who got her into this mess to let you know that if you hurt her in any way...well I don't think there's enough room for two bitchy blondes in there, you understand?"
Alison coughed and smiled at the notion, "I do."
"What? Just like that? No arguing, no denial?"
"Why would I deny anything, I like Emily, I like her a lot and I think that if we had met someplace else then you or maybe her parents would still be giving me this speech."
"Huh," Hanna huffed, "that was easier than I thought."
"Yeah it was, and I wouldn't argue with you or try to fight if I hurt it. Anyone who hurts her would deserve a good ass-whopin. I support that."
"Well then, looks my job here is done."
"Okay you two, we can braid hair when this is over. Alison, I'll transfer money into your account so you can have more time to speak and we'll talk again in a few days...no more than five okay?"
"Okay, I got it, I'll go tell Emily, bye."
"Bye."
"Wait." It was Hanna again.
"Yes Hanna?"
"You could be good for her Alison. I think you might believe that that's not true, but when Emily was talking to me about you - shit, don't tell her I told you - but she sounded happy, like she really liked you liked you, and I know she cares about doing the right thing. But if you know that she likes you and you find out that you don't feel the same-,"
"Hanna, I-,"
"If you think that it won't work, then you know you have to let her-,"
"Hanna I think I love her."
"Oh." Both Spencer and Hanna said looking at each other with wide eyes.
"Shit, don't tell her I told you," Alison said in a mocking tone.
"Alison did you just-,"
"Time's up! Bye."
That left Hanna and Spencer still staring at each and then the phone, "well.."
"Well...what the fuck was that?"
x-x-x-x
Alison walked back to the library deep in silence and even deeper in thought. She was thankful for the way everyone else had stayed away and indirectly build this image of her. Untouchable, someone to not mess with. She had arrived as a broken mess and strangers rebuilt her.
The library was her own, it was the one place the untouchable woman with the mysterious past remained untouchable; it gave her a chance to stay away from anyone that might see through the charade.
Anyone but Emily.
In the past few days it had become a sanctuary for her and Emily. The grounds in which their unorthodox relationship started to form. A seed was planted that day she stepped in for Emily in the shower, and it budded soon after.
Alison argued with herself that it was too soon, too early to feel the way she felt about someone she has only known for little over a week. Was it crazy for her to feel so connected to someone, was it sane to crave someone else's company that much?
Maybe, but it was worth it. Alison decided a chance at any sort of life where Emily was involved was worth whatever it would cost.
The train of thought made its stop at the door Alison had seen everyday. A light laminated wooden door with a fogged glass pane in the upper center, gold foil paint with the letters L- -B-R- -R-Y.
Behind this door she had been herself more of herself than any other time in her life. And now it was with someone who understood and accepted her.
"Emily, it's me."
"Back here," Em called, "I'm in our spot."
Alison passed the new guard - whatever his name was - and met up with Emily, "our spot?"
"Oh, hey. Um, yeah," Emily scratched at the back of her head, "our spot. I mean we can call it something else but I just thought that since we spend a lot of time here and we talk here that maybe it could be more than just the back part of the dusty book room we call the library."
"Or the lbrry as the door suggests," Alison pointed over her shoulder and laughed.
"Good one, but our spot seems to be just fine if you don't mind."
"I don't," Alison nodded.
"Well then, welcome to our place." Emily held out her arms and gestured at the 10 square feet of space they had, "it smells, it's dimly lit there's bad air circulation here but in this tiny hole in the wall, we are in our own place."
"For now."
"Yeah, for now," Em agreed, "...you know for a second there, you almost sounded-,"
"What?"
"Did I detect a hint of hopefulness?"
"No," Alison said with a slight lilt in her voice that Emily picked up easily.
"You're lying," Emily sang. And when Alison made a thin line with her lips, Emily pushed.
"Admit you're lying Ali."
"Or what," Ali shrugged.
"I don't know, but it'll be good."
"Well if it's good, then it shouldn't matter if I was lying or not, right?"
"No, don't twist this, just tell me you were lying."
"You're not going to give up are you?"
"Nope."
"Fine, you stubborn ass. I was lying."
"What? You mumbled that last bit," Emily teased, holding her hand cupped around her ear.
"I was lying."
"Nope, I think the fans are blowing really loudly in here."
"I. was. lying. Okay? God, you're difficult. I was being hopeful. I don't know what it is about you but you change me Emily. You make me abandon who I was and make me feel like it's okay to just be me, I don't have to filter myself for you. There!"
"Alison-,"
"No, no, sorry, Emily, I'm sorry. I've been on edge all day. It's unfair but I just - you know all of this, this is all crazy and I guess I'm just trying to swallow it you know? I don't mean to be like this, I think it's just my brain trying to compensate for this happening."
"Are you sure it's just this?"
"Yeah, why wouldn't it be? Wait, why, what were you thinking?" Alison wondered if somehow Hanna got to Em before she did. No, that was impossible.
"Nothing Ali, nothing at all."
"Okay so now what do you want to do? Go to some crap lunch? Walk around to see the depressing sight of dirt and dead grass?"
"Mmm, no," Emily tapped her chin, "I was thinking that we could break into Grey's office and steal the files on my group of so-called friends before she gets back from her hour long lunch."
"What? Emily how do you know that?"
"I'm an excellent snooper."
"Yeah, I can see, but Emily we can't do that, you know how much trouble we'll get in if we get caught? You're being irrational."
"If, that's an if."
"No, we can't."
"We can if you agree to be the lookout?"
"No. No I won't. And I won't let you," Ali crossed her arms but was equally met with a pouting Emily.
"Is this how you get what you want?"
"No, but it could be part of it." Emily just shrugged and continued to look expectantly with wide eyes.
"Ugh."
"So is this you saying yes?"
"If I mumble, you'll make me scream it again won't you."
"Maybe, I can't make any promises."
"Fine, fine, I'll be your lookout, but I swear we better not get caught."
"Trust me, I had a rebellious stage. And me used to be very, very good at picking locks."
"Should I ask why?"
"Later. I'll tell you all about it when we get what we need."
"Alright then, superhero, let's go."
"You'll be my trusty sidekick?"
"If we get caught, trust that I will give you a nice side kick to the ass okay?"
"Fair enough."
"Well, what the hell are you waiting for? It's one-twenty. She'll be back soon."
"Well then Robin, let's go."
"Shit, I don't feel good about this, Batman."
"See, it's official now, we're a ass-kicking duo."
"Oh god, you're a child."
"Yeah, but a child who gets what she wants. Don't believe me? Just watch."
AN: So not too much action in this chapter ;) I just wanted a build up and I hope I delivered. I know you have questions and I know many of you made the connections, stay tuned for the next chapter.
Well please leave your thoughts, comments and reviews... You know what to do babes. xo Lina